Reasons why I probably won't be picking up any blue ribbons/trophies/honorable mentions at the Steller Moms Go Above and Beyond Convention this year...
If I take Julia on a walk sans Simon...I always listen to music. The louder Julia whines...the higher the volume climbs.
I won't tell you the exact ratio of chicken nugget to fruit/vegetable consumption on Julia's part but it is kind of a lot to kind of a little.
Julia usually sleeps in her (nonrestrictive, stretchy) clothing. Pajamas are for the coddled.
My answer to almost every whine: diluted juice in a bottle.
My answer to the whines that aren't pacified by juice: chicken nuggets.
My answer to the whines that aren't pacified by juice and/or chicken nuggs: ignore button.
Wait...there are two buckles to be fastened on Julia's car seat?
My two favorite times of day and night are nap and bedtime.
Yes, that 3-6 month sized dress works fine as a shirtunic.
Okay...you want to play in the front yard? Well, look before ways before crawlcrossing the street.
She has her own (retired) dedicated and labeled "J" phone charger to gnaw on.
By the time most frozen food I purchase makes it way onto the checkout conveyor belt it generally has leeeedle bite marks all over it. One particularly cheery clerk generously and dramatically applied hand sanitizer to his hands, wrists and forearms--twice--once he realized he had been c-o-n-t-a-m-i-n-a-t-e-d. I think my eyes are still stuck in the rollllled position.
So callous, so mean,