7 Quick Takes

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28 June 2013

Linking up with Jen!

1. I don't know what made me think I wouldn't but I really regret cutting my hair. I always, always do and I never haven't so ..... why did I do it? Dumb. So I'm downing Biotin and I've already had to clip my nails 3 times in the past 4 days (I don't like a sliver of white to show ... I don't know) so hopefully it's doing the same for my locks of bleh.

2. Not like I'm any sort of dinner making maven but it's really hard to know if Simon is even going to home at a reasonable hour to eat dinner let alone when he'll finally get out of work on this rotation so of course ... I usually just don't ... convenient for all. Baking requires no timeline or reheating or wilted salading so that's what I've been doing this week. This cake -- Wacky Cake. It's so good and egg free (I don't care about that but I know some people have to steer clear of the hen droppings) and virtually impossible to screw up. And I make this frosting (icing?) (um, make 1/4 that amount) and it's a great little marriage in your mouth. AND - if you have any easy bake recs that won't kill me if Bash and J "help" .... throw them at me. Please.

3. Simon and I were talking about my crush on Emma Stone the other night and I don't know how it came up but it did ... Jen vs. Angelina. Let me make it known that I am solidly on Team Jen. I would probably scare her with my crystal clear recollections of several of her interviews. I know that she is a self-proclaimed "creature of habit" and ate a Cobb salad every day that she was on the set of Friends. I cheered when she said that Brad was missing a sensitivity chip. I know that her guilty pleasure is a margarita with chips and guacamole. And I had a very Rachelesque haircut back in the day that was a huge insult to her stylist. I love all things Aniston. However, when it comes to bombshell factor I have to give it to smug old Ang. Simon strongly disagrees and I strongly disagreed right back. Am I alone in this oxymoronic camp?

 (Jen is still a bombshell but Ang ... she's in a higher cutegory)

4. I have yet to finish this week's episode of the Bachelorette (how you KNOW it's a terrible season because I have waited up until it goes live on Hulu ... don't test my allegiance) but I read the very beginning of Ashley's recap and as always ... she's outdone even herself. Incredible.

5. I don't really know what went down with Theo and Simon last night but this morning when I went to get Theo up he was rocking a size 18 mos outfit and was swaddled in one of Simon's scrub tops and there were diapers flung alllllllll over the attic.

Excuse the grain. And it's actually size 24 mos - just checked. Sebastian grew out of this when he was 9 months old - I believe.

Hopefully I'm awake when Simon gets home tonight and he can give a little recap if he wasn't sleep caretaking which isn't out of the realm of possibility. {Oh!! And Hallie told me about Melatonin which has seemed to help my insomnia ... bless her.}

6. I bought kettlecorn and kale chips at Trader Josephs this morning and I'll let you take a wild guess which bag I'm killing right now. Fine! A hint: You crazy herbivores that eat kale even after it's been dressed and lemon juiced and salted and whatevered --- I do not understand you.

7. Bleh. The weekend. Everyone's like "it's the weekend!" and I'm like "t-g-i-eff-this" more of the same but less sleep and even lesser Simon around. Martyr forever.

Have a decent one.


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27 June 2013

Virtually every day I say to myself, "I'm going to not post today. I'm going to just put the kids down and chug some Hulu and be prudent and not post." And then ... here we are. I'm sorry.

We need to bite the bullet and buy a new air conditioner because our house is really bleeping hot. We knew it was an old unit when we bought the house and that it would need to be replaced but when you're presented with a house that doesn't reek of cat urine or cigarettes like the previous houses you looked at did ... you don't care to think that far ahead. But! When you're stewing in your own sweaty juices by 8:10 every single morning you start to think that far ahead while lingering in front of the open freezer. We had a couple over a few weeks ago and the poor guy parked himself under our living room's ceiling fan after dinner until Simon noticed and insisted they go hang out in our master attic (that was very messy and I'm really sorry Jeff - although I'm sure you're not reading this) where the a/c is a little bit cooler. Don't read this as a complaint because ... laundry room woes like whoa ... it's just a not so cold but a very hot fact.

So ... we go outside and live it up poolside until lunch and naps most mornings.

Simon always says Julia is such a bully but I don't know what he's talking about and I know. I don't know where their suits are at the current moment. C'est la classiest life.

If Theo is awake he joins me at my lifeguarding post ...

Where he usually just plays a game of cat and mouse with one of my hands until he catches and gnaws and gnaws and gnaws and gnaws.

But sometimes we can't resist Julia's, "you guys want to play with me and Bash? Okay. I'll let you."

And because I can't resist that kind of generosity ... we join ...

Theo puts up with it for like .3 seconds.

When Julia lays down in jumping jack position you know she means mean business because (shockingly!) there isn't one single inch of extra space for "the kids" as she calls the boys. We raise nothing but the sweetest of hearts around here.

And sometimes she pulls a faux nap to get Sebastian to leave her alone which works about as well as you'd imagine it might.

"Wook! We're ALL swimmin!!!"

I'm wooking. And ... we are.

Stay tuned for part II: The Sprinkler. To be blogged tomorrow.

Or sooner.

(just be happy I didn't blog about our trip to Costco this morning because it was a fun one complete with "is THAT Santa Claus?!" and "is that a BOY or a GIRL?!" question yells and a spilled tray of root beer samples et al)

what I wore and other drops of edification

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26 June 2013

Linking up with The Pleated Poppy

pants - Old Navy
minty fresh - Target
shoes - c/o Blowfish

I struggle (oh, here she goes again .... take a deep breath and listen to her wax deep and thoughtful ....) with outfit posts for the obvious reasons. They are so silly and my hair is always in my face and what am I laughing at in that top picture? Maybe I was laughing at Sebastian who came outside to watch me work it but it was probably a big fatty fake laugh. Is anyone really going to glean one ounce of inspiration from this weans + toothpaste tee (that is apparently see through and will be retired to "just for the house" pile of clothing which is 98% of my attire) combination? No. Never. And I super cringe when I think about people I know in real life happening upon one of those. I make my bed, I know I know. I do.

But! I love love love looking at other bloggers outfit posts especially the greats like Kendi and Sydney. Where am I going, where am I going .... I'm not sure. I guess I want to document some of the few times I get dressed (but neglect my hair because -- lookatit). Who knows. I can't promise I won't do any 'fit posting ever again but let's just say that we all know Kendi isn't shaking in her (super cute) crop top for fear that I'll steal her fan base. Nope, first she needs to know my name and open all those casual but cool emails I've tossed in her inbox. Wink.

Moving on.

What's going on en la vida loca today? I'll tell you what's going on. I will.

I got in the van this morning and it was clear that someone other than a Patton had gotten into it last night. They didn't steal anything but they went through Simon's car too and don't worry ... any progress I've made in the "sleep at least 23 minutes whilst Simon is on call" department these last two years is 100% out the window. I'll be sleeping with my usual block of knives but with some new additions: two sets of golf clubs - with some select clubs having been fit with spikes, mace, and a different brand of mace in case the first one is weak. Anyway, I just wish the auto predator would've stolen the coffee table in the front of the house that Sebastian single-handedly dismantled beyond repair. His boyhood should be fun.

I started watching Crazy, Stupid, Love. the other night while I was folding laundry and yes yes yes I know - it's wildly inappropriate in so many ways but I don't remember laughing out loud so many times in a row - ever. And I've seen it before. Steve Carell can deliver the one-liners. Love it. And I can't decide if Kerri Washington is going to be dethroned by Emma Stone in my girl crushing kingdom. It's a toss up and I'll let you know.

Simon was reading a book that had a word he needed me to Google to find the definition last night while I was watching the Bachelorette. Simon uses words like "porous" and "hypotenuse" in everyday conversation like I use the words "like" and "like" so you can imagine this wasn't no light reading. Anyway, we make a great team.

So I had this dream last night. Just kidding. I punish you enough around here. No dream throwing.


You know you're a stay at home mom when ...

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25 June 2013

... or a work at homer or a work at worker. Or if you've ever spent an entire day with small children. This is for you. And future Grace who might need a swift shot of nostalgia.

Sebastian and his theatrics: never ending.

It's summer and the livin's easy, right? Mmmmm ... sure but no. The kids wake up with the sun (4:58 am) despite your best efforts to seal their windows with 89 layers of 30 gallon black garbage bags and duct tape. You feel guilty if you're not outside enjoying the sun and shine but the second you get outside someone's wet and dirty swim diaper needs to be changed and you're positive the garden-happy neighbor is going to call the cops if he hears one more of the kids' scream fights over who gets control of the hose aka control of the fun. The kids don't understand why "bedtime" happens during daylight because according to the sun 8pm = 4:30pm and they fight you. They fight you hard.

So. You know you're a stay at home mom (etc!) WHEN ...

1. You get your 2-year-old dressed before noon and she asks "um, where we going?!"

2. You're positive your husband didn't hear you when you said, "the baby finally cut that tooth" ...

... because his response was a distracted, "oh, really?" and you were expecting a celebratory tap dance, champagne, and some sort of peanut butter + chocolate confection. At the very least.

3. You accidentally throw your daily dose of Excedrin into your smoothie. Shrug. Two birds, one gulp.

4. You've got three sets of sweats that you rotate through: 1. appropriate for publicish outings, 2. appropriate to run a diaper out to the big trash can, and 3. appropriate to wear around non-verbal children because they can't tell a soul.

5. It's 1pm on one day and all you've accomplished for the day is: one bath for one child and productivity is YOURS.
6. It's 1pm on another day and all you've accomplished for the day is: emptied the bathroom trashcan and lined it with a fresh plastic grocery sack and suddenly the bathroom looks so sparkly and the day feels so right.

7. It's 1pm on yet another day and all you've accomplished for the day is: clipped the fingernails of one toddler and you should probably retire because this is easy.

8. It's 9am on YET another day and you've been awake for an eternity, placated multiple tantrums, fed the children breakfast, checked your email 12 times, texted your husband about every single tantrum, thrown a load of laundry in, emptied 1/100th of the dishwasher and yet when your husband calls and asks what you're up to you say, "mmmmm nothing."

10. It's 10am and you've checked your email nine more times. Bringing the grand total to 35 times for the day.

11. This happens for 19 consecutive seconds ...

... and you steady yourself because you're feeling faint and check their foreheads for fevers. You suspect Scarlet Fever. Or maybe the Bubonic Plague.

11. You've Googled, "do vacation bible schools accept 6-month-olds?"

12. It's 11am and you've eaten nothing all day.

13. It's 11:03am on the same day and you've eaten a handful of semi-sweets, the kids breakfast leftovers, 11 pita chips dipped in hummus, a cup of yogurt, another handful of semi-sweets, a spoonful of peanut butter, and three of the kids gummy vitamins.

14. This? This little bit of meticulously folded laundry ...

took two days of motivational speaking to complete.

15. You solemnly swear to ship edible poison to the first person that tells your kids that this isn't the biggest kiddie pool in the world ...

because it is. And they are lucky little guppies to have such a monstrosity in their repertoire-o-fun.

16. You throw on some Netflix, shower, shave both legs, apply mascara, dress in clothes that would be uncomfortable to sleep in, and LOOK OUT Seacrest, Rivers, and the Academy because this housewife's feeling ritzy and ready to dazzle on the red carpet - wardrobe questions and all (Target or Old Navy, always).

Tell me you can relate. Or call me crazy.

Or both.

Giveaway: Joules Rain Boots

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24 June 2013

Every morning after Sebastian has risen at some ungodly hour of the early morning slash basically still nighttime he has a little ritual that makes perfect sense. He devours his instant oatmeal, checks if Julia and Theo are awake (never -- because they are 100% human and not 80% vamp like he is), tells me to "shhhhhhhhhhhh" because they are still asleep, and then goes and puts on his rain boots. Or Julia's rain boots. Or one of his and one of Julia's - whatever combination he knows will make her the most angry and spit her usual morning dragon breath because Bash loves a good show.

Not my point. Simon has mentioned once or twice that he never gets in on the blogging giveaway/review action and has suggested that maybe a golf company might be interested in taking a peek at the Camp. Laugh. I can do you one better, Patton. Wellies. Joules recently started shipping their awesome stuff to the states (I've had the link to their scarves open for several days now) and generously sent the big kids and Simon each a pair of kickbottom rain boots. Don't think I didn't show Simon photos of the royal princes for style inspiration because I did. Let's see how he did ...

(Well first ... this picture. It was actually raining to make the photo super authentic and Julia was like "catch duh wain, Bash!!!" and Bash was like ............... "enthusiasm is my favorite.")

The kids love their boots or their "boooooooooooooo" as Bash enunciates so smartly and Simon even didn't argue too much when I asked that he not tuck the boots under his pants (?).

Vant un pair? I thought so. Joules is giving away a pair to one lucky reader (any pair! girls, boys, mens, or womens!) ... don't tell me you don't love these. Don't - because they are my favorite in a size 8.

Just Rafflecopter your way to victory and many thanks to Joules for being so kind!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

7 Quick Takes

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21 June 2013

It's Friday. Linking up with Jen.

1. I have a luh-hot to say today. Buckle UP.

2. First day of summer! I think now would be a good time to change our flannel sheets? Simon says ...... hell yes.

2. Okay let me see how complicated I can spin this web of siblings and in-laws and bffs. Here we goOooooOOoOOOOoOo .....

Meet Ruth:

and her clan. Her boys are eleven months apart and yet she lets me vent about my needlings by way of email/text almost daily. She's my people and she's the best. 

We were partners in crime in DC back in the day ...

okay well this was the weekend I got married but I couldn't resist showing off my hands free cellie (it was purple metallic) ... anyway if it weren't for Ruth I would probably still be standing in the apartment she single-handedly moved me out of (and into a respectable townhouse with some other ladies) six years ago because she gets-shit-done and I do not. Again, the best. 

SO ... I met her through my college roomie and friend Liza ... because Liza's brother is married to Ruth's sister ... I know you're following. You're smart. 

Liza and her huz. They just had the cutest little baby boy. Thee cutest. 

Anyway -- Liza and I were enemies in college (I was and still am very mature) but then we moved in together (along with Anna!) and quickly became inseparable. She brought me home to New Jersey for Thanksgivings when I couldn't make it back to NM and even though she is one of 9 kids they always made me feel so welcome and at home and it was great. 

Visiting Liza in the Big Apple for her birthday. Why I make friends with girls that have the best hair is something I need to ponder. Does little for the hair esteem.

Liza has a brother named Pete (or Peter -- some call him Peter, I think) and he went to the same college ...

Okay, Pete is the groom and the lady in white his is wife, Rachel. I met her once and she can tear it UP on the dance floor. Plus - look at that dress. I don't know who those other people are but I yanked this off of Facebook so -- thank you other people. 

Back in college Peter found out he had bone cancer  (I'll let him take it from here)

"Ten years ago (4/2/03), I underwent a pretty radical surgery as part of my fight against bone cancer. I decided to have a modified amputation called rotationplasty in order to totally remove the part of my leg that had a bone tumor, and to also have the greatest chance of resuming athletics in the future.

 It's been a long road toward improved mobility, but thankfully, each year I feel like the realm of what's "physically possible" seems to expand a bit more, largely thanks to the encouragement of my friends, inspiration of other challenged athletes, & the help of my top notch prosthetist. 

SO this year, in celebration and gratitude for 10 years of life as a survivor, I am going to compete in my first triathlon. "

(this is Grace again) ... You can read more about the triathlon and the great cause here. If you can spare some lettuce - he'd be forever grateful AND if you live in the NYC/Jersey area ... go cheer him on! Do it!!

You know I don't use the word "inspiring" ever but his attitude in college was just that. And he was pretty great to put up with me and Liza's shenanigans. Oh ... he didn't ask me to put this up I just wanted an excuse to go through zillions of old Facebook albums. Thanks Pete.

4. The other night I noticed I had a lot of traffic coming from a parenting forum. I clicked over and saw that someone was talking smack about Bash getting into the deodorant .... yawn. No one responded to the smack typer PLUS if they'd actually read the post they'd know that it was Simon's fault. Anyway ... Simon dropped the ball again last night as he scolded me for leaving the new jar of peanut butter on the couch and THEN he put it up on the (super safe!!!) counter before sitting down to chat for five minutes. Maybe four. You see where this is going.

We soon heard giggling coming from the basement and normally the kids just scream and fight and bite each other so I knew something was very wrong because they don't do harmony.

I went downstairs and found this ...

Whatever. I was just glad that it wasn't the contents of a diaper.

Pretty much the entire jar of peanut butter was strewn all over the basement. Simon wondered if maybe it would be easier to let it dry into "peanut brittle" and then just vacuum it but he didn't wait to see and cleaned it up. Julia's hair is still getting a deep conditioning treatment several hours later ...

5. I'm marinating some chicken right now so that Simon can grill it tonight. I've never done such a thing so I thought you should know. I'm also making this bomb salad that Maria thought up. I'll graduate from horrible homemaker to mediocre homemaker before you can yell, "shut up."

6. I don't want to give anything away but rumor around the Camp is that Simon might be making his outfit post debut this weekend .... things to look forward to. He is very excited, as you can imagine.

7. Oh! This season of the Bachelorette is officially the worst EVER. I hate it and you know how much I love it. Ashley more than makes up for it though ... love her.

Have a nice weekend if you dare. I'm going to try.

Coffee + Chia Seed Smoothie

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20 June 2013

Or I guess if we wanted to get weird and fancy ...

Yeah I threw a flower in and it doesn't help my photography noskills. Don't think I sit around sipping smoothies while smelling God's artwork and smiling smugly like some bizarre television mom. I've just been reading too many blogs and thought it would be a nice touch and help the aesthetics but .... never.

I'm a big big big big big big BIG fan of routines. Not so much the "eat sleep wake" or "wake sleep eat" - we played that game with Julia for a few days and well ... that was a nice period of disciplined and organized that I hope to hit again ... one of these years. My routine is more knowing that I'll get out the door before lunch to go on a run and knowing that I can mostly count on the big kids napping every day around 1 or 2 and then knowing that they'll go to bed around 7:30 or 8 every night and I can kick back with some Hulu, a kicky Theo, and no toddler fighting to assault my drums until morn.

I used to be a big coffee + lots of creamer drinker but then I think I got too lazy to make coffee in the mornings but I still like it and am wanting to reap its benefits after nights of life with Theo. And sometimes Sebastian. And fine -- Julia still wakes up too. It's great. I'm a big believer in the power of the Chia as I really do buy into the claim that it helps stave off afternoon sugar cravings and I'm always up for more protein in my diet. So ... enter this. I make and drink/eat/chug it sometime before I go on my walk/run and as soon as I'm found hiding outside the kids bring me spoons because they want some. It's a ritual. We predictable.

Although! This morning I piled the kids in the car before they'd had a single calorie to eat at 7:00 because Simon had left his pager at home and I was going to drop it at the hospital for him. Except that he actually left his pager in his car so .... as not to waste all that energy expelled getting the kids in the van we took a long drive and hit up Dunkin Donuts. Never underestimate my ability to shock the masses with my spontaneity.

Smoothie recipes are dumb because who really measures anything going into a smoothie and who really needs someone to tell them how to make a smoothie these days but HERE:

one part coffee
one part milk (I use almond but - get crazy with creamer or milk of the cow)
handful of Chia seeds (okay maybe two tablespoons)
one tablespoon of coconut oil
one banana
some greek yogurt (I scoop the non-fruity parts off the light 'n fit cup)
ice (at least 3 cubes ... maybe more ... esp if the coffee is hot from the pot)

sweetener (agave, real sugar, stevia, etc)
peanut butter
unsweetened cocoa powder
whatever you vant

The only important thing is to try to let the seeds soak in the coffee or milk for several minutes before blending so that they "gel" and you don't get them stuck in your teeth ... if you don't care then just toss everything in and purée that puppy to smooth goodness.

oh and I read on a blog (was it yours? I don't remember) that an easy way to let babies eat bananas without having to do a damn thing is to give them half with just 1/3 of the peel pulled off.

Theo is still working on his fine motor skills but this kept him entertained for a bit. It was nice. And messy - next time he's going scando and shirtless.


Nothing To See Here, Like Never

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19 June 2013

He: saw the grapes and wanted those "apples"
She: she saw the grapes and requested that I "leave dem on the stick"
Me: proud owner of some astute children.

I'm trying really hard to dig my way out of a pretty bad funk. Funk is such a great euphemism for a lot of moods/feelings/states, isn't it? I think maybe because last year the spring was really bad in terms of Simon's rotations (they were a shock to our systems - so much hours!) and getting myself acclimated to two kids and then June came around and the rotations eased up, we went to visit my family and we seemed to turn a corner of sorts. And this year we're facing no months of good rotations, a month of night float is looming, and I need to perk, buck, something, up. I'm sure I will. I just need to get my wallows out. Winter Grace would tell Summer Grace to just get over it because the sun and the warm and the outdoors! Oh, you didn't know that you'd signed up to be my therapist for the minute? I'm sorry. Viva la transparencia en el blog.

My point? Let me direct you to rosier gardens today ...

If you don't read Regina's blog and instantly love her ... check yourself, check your pulse, check something. She's phenom.

I'm going to leave ALL playlist making to Kelly from here on out. She nailed it good + she made me laugh.

Kristin is doing CrossFit and her post almost makes me want to try when residency is ova. Almost.

What would a blog post be around here if I didn't include a cellular phone clip of the kids. It's exciting. Aren't they all? (I was trying to get Bash to talk in his weird high pitched squeaky voice he uses when addressing Theo - he didn't bite. Oh, and I'll swaddle Theo till he's 12 if that's what it takes to get him to sleep like a baby - notfunny.)

Congrats to sweet Meggy! Glow central.

And saving the least for last ... I wrote a little guest post a couple weeks ago (as did the genius behind The Honest Toddler) and it went up today. And before you judge me too harshly know that the sitter has been in in Medjugorje (selfish) for the past couple of weeks so ... I've been a lone soldier all over again. Hard life.

Thanks for reading, clicking, and listening. You're (always!) the very best.


This is 30

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18 June 2013

Well, not for several weeks but we're gun jumpers as you well know. And don't fret - this isn't going to be a feel goody good "bring it on, 30!!" nor will it be a nostalgia ridden adieu to my 20's because ... who cares.

We went out this weekend with another couple for some drinks and some laughs and some fun on Friday night. It was great. I had to pry Sebastian off my leg, throw him into the sitters arms, and sprint out of the house in my wedges because the kid decided to time his short (short!!) stint as "mama's boy" to fall right when it would hit me where it almost hurt. No guilt trips here, Bash. We spend so much time together that I'm scared I'm going to start saying "piss" out in public instead of "please" just like you do. Well, actually, your version is more of a real quick, "pisspiss!!" with a head nod but I don't think I'd go that far before someone's cockeye burned me good. 

I did not want to suffer the wrath of any sort of hangover so I was sure to hydrate like a guppy headed for a life of landlocked all day Friday. I gave myself pep talks about drinking water in between drinks even though I've never ever had the self control to do that sort of silly thing but still ... I believe in my future self, sometimes. We got to the first bar where I enjoyed a sugary mixed drink (fine! it was a Cosmo but has anyone ordered one of those in the last six years?! I froze, I know) and then ordered a .... water. Good Grace. At the second bar I had one delicious mojito and then cut myself off. Two drinks ... one giant water and you know how I felt when Sebastian started cock-a-doodling at 6:30 on Saturday morning? Like death. Like oven fried death. All day. Simon had a lot more drinks than I did and felt fine. Or he's a liar but ... he did hours of yardwork in the buh-lazing sun so ... I think he felt a lot less deathy than his whiff did.

slit eyes don't lie though ...

Simon made his requisite joke when we got carded at the first place about how Costco cards should double as ids because who in their right mind under the age of 21 would be toting one of those bad boys around? Funny because it's true and it wasn't my joke.

While getting ready to go out I ran a few outfits by Simon and the denim shorts didn't cut it because he thought they might be too casual. The pink pants didn't work because I deemed them way too, "oh, what color is that spray paint on your legs? fuchsia or is it more of a magenta?". I was frustrated because 5.5 months postpartum does not a fun body make (I'll only play the postpartum card for .5 more months ... swear) so I texted my New Mexican bff for help. We settled on some pleated and cuffed white longish shorts that I'm pretty sure my mom would've rocked in the early 90s when she was in her 31-year-old prime. Don't worry Bettina - I'll never be able to rock the pixie like you did - and I'll never ever ever try. It turns out that fancy pants Simone was wrong as we sat next to a lady wearing a t-shirt and capri sweat pants so ... his advice rights are revoked. Forever.

But I think Tara's dress trumped my t-shirt so ... she wins.
At the second and final bar I weaseled my way through the dance floor to get to the bathroom. I'm no stranger to a little glow stick miming, interpretive dancing, and top 40 remixing but I'll admit that a fish out of water felt more comfortable than I did on my sojourn to and from the stalls. As we were walking out and paused to wait for the guys to make use of the facilities I caught my eyes darting all over the room ... weirdly worried that the young women might fall victim to a little sneaky something slipped into their drinks by any of the male patrons - which was ridiculous but ...... I'm fun.

On Monday morning I let my iPod drift into the bowels of an old playlist and ran to a little Chamillionaire. Riding/running/speedwalking dirty. When I dove into the nearest driveway, crouched, and cringed all in the same second as soon as the song turned into a (fake - of course) loud automobile accident and I was sure me and my cargo were going to be killed on the spot but soon realized my headphones were the bearer of simulated news ... I grabbed my heart off my foot and had a good chuckle at my own geriatric expense.

Sebastian just tricked me into letting him sit on Julia's little potty where he promptly took aim and saturated my right foot, shoe included. All I want for my birthday + anniversary + Christmas is a new set of measuring cups and measuring spoons because making bran muffins and measuring ingredients by the 1/3 cup and 1/8 tsp is gettin ril old.

So, this is 30 and this is parenthood and this is mostly okay.

I think.

Conversations with Julia

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17 June 2013

After I built a tower of canned goods ...
Julia: good job wittle Grace! 

After getting into a screaming match with Bash over a doll ...
Julia, you need to learn to share with Sebastian
Julia: okay
Simon exits the room
Julia:  Bash, you need to learn to share with ME

and earlier in the week ...
Simon: Julia, you have to share with Bash
Julia: But I just want to share with me.

While getting her dressed ...
Grace: will you hand me that shirt over there?
Julia: um, excuse me?
Julia: I don't see a shirt - just a tank top

After dinner ...
Grace: no more food tonight, that ship as sailed.
Julia: but what KIND of shit was it?

Three steps into a twenty step walk to the car ...
Julia: sigh this is SO many walks

On her affinity for sugary chewy gummy bear vitamins after she fell and "skimmed" her knee ...
Grace: do you think you're going to make it?
Julia: break from dramatic screams ... I just need a bitamin to fix it 
Grace: okay
Julia: sniffle well, two bitamins sniffle two of the pink ones

After spilling an entire canister of formula on the sly she came to me with her confession ...
Julia: I made a mess
Grace: okay, where?
Julia: it's not my fault
Julia: and it was not an accident

After she watched Theo squint into the sun in the stroller as I put a hat on him ...
Julia: if it's too bright for you baby Theo you can just go back in your mommy's tummy
Julia: okay? okay.

a tender moment shared ...
Grace: I love you Julia
Julia: And I just love to watch Dora

I caught her cradling a very fragile ballerina figurine from my grandma ...
Grace: please go put that back where you found it
Julia: but she's so happy to see me!

While watching her crawl into a cupboard ...
Grace: What are you doing?
Julia: just going on an adbenture
Grace: oh, cool
Julia: yep. and I WON'T be careful. 

While reading a book about Christmas ...
Julia: And those are snowman balls?
Grace: snowballs, yes. 
After raiding my purse and dramatically unwrapping a tampon ...
Julia: here's your wipstick, Bash

As she walked into me very stupidly and optimistically trying on an old pair of (too small) swimsuit bottoms ...
Julia: Oh! Is that MY wittle swimsuit?
Grace: Get out

And per Sarah's request (and I only ever aim to please up in here) a 48 second clip of the Magic Huckles ... (don't mind her awesome hair day - she gets it from me)

Magic Huckles from grace patton on Vimeo.

7 Quick Takes

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14 June 2013

Linking up with Jennifer over at Conversion Diary. You know how I do. 

1. When I was little (but old enough to remember so maybe ... 10? ... so medium age) we had just outgrown the minivan and had graduated to a suburban (before we saw the light and upgraded to the 15 passenger) but hadn't sold the minivan yet. You follow?

Okay well my mom strapped us all into the suburban for a fun trip to Allsup's to get slushies or something because she was a fun mom (a trait I did not inherit) and then ran back into the house to grab something ... came back out ... popped into the minivan and went down to the gas station (literally down the street -- we lived in a small small small town - don't judge her too harshly) and didn't realize she was alone until she parked. I didn't understand that kind of spacey until last night when I went to the store alone to buy trash bags and came home with no trash bags but ingredients to make bran muffins. The kids - they suck the brain dry.

2. Part II of Kate's love story is up and it is thee best. (Even Simon read part I and admitted that he couldn't wait for part dos). Git.

3. I know I always sing the praises of this hair powder but the regular grocery store sells this stuff now and it's a lot cheaper (in the store! online it appears to be more expensive - riddle me that) and does the same thing. In case you're in the market for a good hair powder if your hair is limp and boring like mine.

4. I think two people liked my first running playlist so of course that encouraged DJ Grase to make another. It's bad. Akon, Tiesto, and a little Flaming Lips for your cooldown. Real bad.

5. I know there are a lot of giveaways that go down here at el Camp and this weekend I'll be adding to the pile but I think you'll like. It's not one of my children but ... even better.

And they are a hard thing to top.


I know you want a pretty boy update so I'm happy to report that he finally rolled from front to back -- once. He won't repeat but at this rate he'll be crawling in approximately 12-18 months which is just fine with this stage mom. I hate the crawling stage.

7. We got a sitter for tonight (Julia is going to be sorely disappointed when George the Dragon doesn't show up at 7:30 because that is exactly how she translated "Jordan the babysitter") and so we're going to responsibly drink alcohol and revel in the fact that Simon is not at the hospital. Maybe I'll even trick Simon into cutting a rug. We'll see.

Have a wild one.
I know how you are and I know that you will.


housewife gone wild

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13 June 2013

I'm not having a bad day. At all. Really. Just another one of those days that I merely set out to do a few loads of laundry, unpack from the 2 day trip we returned from 4 days ago, and run to the store but the kids - the kids always have other plans. I'd love to hatch into the lost vortex of time that is our mornings and see what gets done because I think it'd just be a long list of, " -------------------------------- who -------------------------- knows ----------------"

So! I don't have anything to write (blog! everyone knows blogging does not a writer make) about today so I'll just give a rundown of the day thus far because this is a space with standards.

I microwaved a tub of butter this morning instead of the intended bowl of oatmeal. Well, Smart Balance. Really? I know - about as exciting and unheard of as the ever hilarious left my cellie in the fridge trick.  It refrigerated right back to its native and solid state so ... who cares.

The living room is crawling with ants (I don't know why but I suspect it has to do with the frequency of both my mopping + the kids drifting from the table like the Goops that they are) so I busted out my favorite Pinterest concotch.

Simon is, of course, FAR more worried about the smell than the enemy invaders.

I've tried feeding Theo rice cereal a few times and he goes into straight up Fort Knox mode ... hates. I put on my most sing songy voice and gave him some avocado today and he tolerated. Grace-led weaning and all dat.

Kate's love story is motivating me to start retyping ours. Why I'm not starting today is a mystery for the not quite motivated enoughs.

It is an all day struggle not to watch Scandal but now Simon is kind of into it so I feel bad watching without him. I mean bad enough that I only watch 1.5 episodes before he gets home from work while I glare at Jillian and yodel at the kids scaling my legs. Nice wives finish first.

I mustered the courage to go to the regular grocery store with the kids. I put on my swimsuit cover to fool the masses into thinking it was a dress and these new shoes ...

that may as well be Kork-Ease because they feel downright orthotic but look notit. But then I started thinking about just taking one kid to the store tonight while Simon watched the other two and that thought shined bright and I couldn't quite shake it so ... courageous lioness put on her finest fur fur nothing. The fur/for pun/joke was dumb. Leaving it because someone that types those sorts of things doesn't deserve the privilege of the delete.

Every single time I look at this ...

I smile. Wide.

There has been a child throwing serious tantrums over at the neighbors house on and off all day and tantrums that do not belong to my children are music to my ears not because I'm heartless but because it's not my fight + it makes me feel like maybe my kids are sort of normal + my kids go into wide eyed and listen mode. Cry on, little stranger.

Aaaaaaaaand Tweedledum and Tweedleteeth are awake ...

... and ready to get ripped with Jillian.

Off we enthusiastically sprint.

Instavida + Clickables Mashup

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12 June 2013

Going the sort of lazy route today as the trip to Costco completely took it out of me and I forgot the one thing I set out to get ... trash bags ... (but did I get Cheetos and popsicles and a hot dog + diet coke combination? of course!) so I'll be going back tomorrow or braving the regular person's store with all three kids .... which is generally filed under - "I'd rather eat a spoonful of mayonnaise than do that" (and my level of loathe for mayonnaise .... it knows no bounds).

Some linkage for you:

Julia's been obsessed with her "magic huckles" lately. I have no idea what those are but she carries them everywhere, sleeps with them, FREAKS if Bash looks in their direction, and claims they are in two cans of tomato paste (labels removed). I'm like, "yay!! imagination!!" and I really hope she turns out to be half as imaginative and creative as Ana's girls. Hope and pray - every single day.

Jenny's been killing it over on her blog lately but I especially loved this post. Loved. If I grow up to turn phrases half as well as she does ... I'll be thrilled. 

Janssen admits her husband was right and rocks some serious plaid that I am more than seriously coveting. Watch your back, J.

I have yet to meet Kayla in real life but I have a feeling if and when I do she might renege on the nicest post in the history of nice posts she wrote about the Camp earlier today. Bless her. Seriously.

I'm SO excited for Paige because she just wrote her first book. I haven't quite finished it but it's riddy riddy good and hilarious and relatable and I'll gush all about it in a post of its own very soon.

Okay onto the snores ... that I know you can already see via slideshow on this blog but ... dead horse beating is a hobby-o-mine.

1. I'm sure it looks like I just throw them in their stagecoach willy nilly but really - we're looking at 90+ minutes for head to toe wardrobing before we set out on our morning funtrot.

2. Thrifted for Theo. He hated.

3. one month ago
4. one week ago ...... I'm scared for July and our hair cessation classes.

5. we spent Saturday night at a friend's horrible house with a pathetic excuse of a pool and ... we'll be back before they can change their locks and their last name.
6. Always complicated monosyllabic discussions with my early riser over his complete breakfast of oatmeal that he calls ... "is?" 99 times in a row.

7. "yeah, put that one on the internet."
8. letting him go braless for a few free minutes.

9. Lumberjacked. (outfit curated by Julia)
10. Simon picked this swimnumber up for her and I'm not entirely convinced it isn't a dance recital costume.

And back to my lazy river I swim.


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