About

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Welcome to the life we like to pretend is exciting enough to document day after day after day.

We'll get the fiesta started with Simon, the patriarch of the clan. In his ample spare time, Simon enjoys popping out of bed at all hours of the night to meet the needs and various requests of our children, narrating the fact that he is popping out of bed to meet the needs and various requests of all our children, receiving hourly text messages from his wife regarding his children's appalling behavior, and rolling his eyes.


Simon recently completed his OB-GYN residency (all the hallelujahs) and is in his second of a three year surgery fellowship. He occasionally makes Grace crack a small smile and enjoys watching her inhale Bachelor/ette episodes from his perch on his high and mighty horse.

Grace enjoys writing in the third person, walking diapers outside to the big trashcan multiple times a day, and exercising on occasion. She likes her births medicated, her Hulu extra trashy, and her weather anything but cold.


In a former life Grace was a nanny turned capitol hill staffer turned high school English teacher.  She now stays at home with their five children and is always on the hunt for some quiet, sanity, and a Top 40 hit to bump on the family friendly vehicle's radio.

Julia is six years old.


She narrates everything, hoards everything else, and is our budding little Picassa who finds great joy in her works of art and works her way through a ream of paper a day. Julia loves yellow mustard and asking her parents how to s-p-e-l-l every word under the s-u-n. She is a Disney Princess enthusiast that will not rest until her parents agree to take her to heaven/Disney World. 

Sebastian is lucky child numero dos.


He is four years old, outweighs his older sister, and has an impressive knack for getting into anything he shouldn't. He requires very little sleep, is skilled at cutting his own hair when he fancies, and has been intentionally and unintentionally ruining Julia's life since a scarily young age.


His favorite food group is chocolate milk and he is the most obstinate, sensitive, and mostly polite soul on the face of the Patton planet.

Theodore is our third born.


He looks like neither of his parents. He is three years old and can be found speed walking around the house while he shines in his starring role of, "Third Wheel" aside Julia and Sebastian. Theo's hobbies include brushing his teeth as often as he is able, eating ungodly amounts of food at each and every meal, and hiding from his younger sister ... 

... two-year-old Phoebe Anika.


We call her Rapunzel for short. Phoebe is enamored with all things: makeup, shoes, the color pink, and answering all questions with a calculated, "nope." She glares at any strangers encountered in the grocery store wild and has the ability to ruin all car rides. She's our happy little riot. 

And lastly we have baby Bosco Ignatius, our little one-year-old divo. His preferred method of transportation is his mother's hip and he has a deep love and obsession with trucks, trucks, and more trucks.


His name draws absolutely no quizzical looks from strangers. Bosco is gunning extra hard to earn the "happiest baby" in the Patton history book and we're hoping his competitive streak runs out of steam approximately never.

We recently lost our sixth baby, Felipe, to miscarriage but are so grateful to have known him for the brief period of time that we did.

And now back to the importants ...


Simon's parents are Grace's Godparents but Simace actually has Facebook to thank for reconnecting them after 12ish years of no communication.  Despite a rocky inaugural late night/early morning phone conversation in October of 2007 they dated long distance until Simon proposed in July of 2008 in DC where Grace was working at the time.

They were married in August of 2009.


All seven campers recently relocated to Florida for Simon's surgery fellowship. Yay. They can generally be spotted noisily and tardily slipping into the last open pew at Mass on Sundays wrangling two ill-behaved toddlers, keeping their two preschoolers pew bickering to a dull roar, not wrangling a well-behaved Bosco, and dreaming about post-Mass donuts.

The rest is notable history and is probably addressed in painful detail in multiple posts.


Enjoy.

73 comments:

Calah said...

Oh my gosh! I've never read this page.

YOUR DRESS!

I swoon. I sigh. It's gorgeous! Wow.

I love this page! And I, too, have a husband with enviable hair, although unfortunately for him it's so poufy that if he doesn't have it long it looks like a poor white boy's afro.

Luckily for me, this means he wears his hair long, which thrills me since I have a long-hair issue dating back to my unfortunate pre-teen obsession with Hanson.

But enough about me.

Your dress!

JDel said...

this is awesome. will be sure to copy soon, in the same way i copy everything you do.

Ruthie said...

i knowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww i swoon over that dress too! always and forever my fave.fave.fave.

i do want to know what americana partay are you at?! have to be in the land of enchancement!

Mary @ RoomPolish said...

I love this page all over again!

meg lueck said...

oh geez, i love you.

Natalie Catherine of TheBusyBudgetingMama.com said...

so awesome. I love your writing! it takes me back to the rooney days with your sweet dance moves. haha. Glad we can stay connected through our blogs!! your family is gorgeous..can't wait to meet baby #2 via blogland! ;)

Katherine Lee said...

grace- love your humor! happy to meet you via blog/twitter. Katie

Sandra Kohlmann said...

Love the updates!

The Artisann said...

this page is GREAT. i love it all over again! :)

Shelby said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Shelby said...

The new look is so handsome! Love the updates here too.

Shelby said...

And I am clearly computer illiterate!

Jillian said...

I love it!!! A beautiful new look for an already beautifully written blog! You are too funny and I LOVE the picture choices. The socks!! Ah, the life of a momma! XO

Bridget said...

Hahahaha! I <3 your guts!

Jessea Knight said...

so glad I read this...you are so funny!!

Bridget said...

you are hilarious. i am so excited that i have your blog to keep up with.

annaliesemaree.me said...

This is my new favourite blog. Love it.

Sarah said...

Your dress is so beautiful, as are you! And that little boy, what a smile. My little girl, Maggie is almost the same age as your little one (she is 18 months).

Love your page!

Kaitlyn Burton said...

Wow! Love your dress!!! Gorgeous!!

k8te said...

what a cute 'about me' page! your wedding dress is gorgeous! and what cute kids! :)

Ami Vincent said...

I live in St. Louis!! (I know, it's not that exciting...so do lots of people) AND my children (girl first. Then boy) are 13 months apart like yours! It's totally insane, but I find myself thinking, very often, I wouldn't want to do it any other way. It was not our plan, but God apparently knew what He was doing. Brooklyn will be 2 in August and Jackson will be 1 in September

Jenna said...

1. Wow you are pretty!
2. The timeline was solicited and appreciated for creepers (not me).
3. Seriously, I hope you contracted out modeling gigs in that wedding dress.
4. My favorite: I love the pic/line where Sebastian unintentionally ruins Julia's life on an hourly basis.

Julia said...

Your blog is adorable! Just wanted to let you know! Greeting from Munich, Germany!
http://ask-julia.blogspot.de/

telised said...

just finished reading through your archives and am now distraught. what am I going to do at my boring job all day without unlimited grace snark to get me through?

Dwija {House Unseen} said...

I seriously cannot BELIEVE how quickly you updated this. It took me SIX MONTHS to put Mary up on our page.

I suck.

Whitney said...

Let me just say I laid in my bed one night reading your blog and laughing out loud until I cried! Thanks so much for letting us follow your sweet family!

Janice said...

Just found your blog through ANMJ and it's great! I too had small babies while my husband finished residency and it's not fun. #3 for me came during fellowship, and yes, not any easier! Look forward to following you now!

Ashley said...

I am new to your blog. We are freakishly similar. My first child born aug. 2010 (also a.. spirited..child) second born oct 2011 a couple days before Halloween. I was pregnant with #3 and due in about a month, but lost him/her around 12 weeks. I LOVE your blog, and appreciate that you aren't candy coating and pretending that every day is sunshine and rainbows.

P.S. you are stunning (totally not a creeper!)

adreamerswife.com said...

Wow, this is like the greatest About page I have ever read! Love your wedding dress!

Jennifer said...

I love this new About page!! I am currently working on starting a new and better blog and trying to write an about page, it is hard! I will never be as funny and clever in my writing as you, I guess I better just get over it!

Jennifer said...

I need to get rid of some of my e-mail addresses so this ^ can stop happening! Normally I post as Matt and Jen McEvoy, so now you know, this is me too (I know you were so curious!)

Emily Elizabeth said...

I come back to this page just to look at your wedding pictures. I love your dress! When are you going to do the whole dating/engaged story? I cannot wait to read it!

priest's wife said...

DRESS! Pretty! and I love that the bridesmaids actually have STRAPS/SLEEVES!!!! (this has nothing to do with 'modesty'- everything to do with prettiness- strapless look like towels- blech)

I assume (I pray) that your dr husband will be a doc that doesn't give out ABC like tictacs and frown at baby #3....come to the west coast after residency!!!

Bridget said...

this was sooooooo good.

Anna Kate said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anna Kate said...

I recognize your wedding photos, from my friend Tim's website! So beautiful. Tim did our wedding too and I am so thankful! He's amazing.

Mrs. Pancakes said...

one of the best intos..i've read...so cute!!

This Hungry Hippo said...

Okay, definitely subscribing because we have way too much in common! My birthday is September 20th (i'm exactly 34 years older than your daughter)and my mom gave me many unflattering hair styles as a child (I have pictures...the horror). I have a sister who was born on October 30th, and our third child was born just four days before your Theodore, on December 26th of 2012. 6 month olds are fabulous. Oh, and I also like my Netflix trashy but do prefer my births unmedicated. :) Cheers to you!

Katie Danielson said...

I'm SO glad someone showed me your blog!! My twin boys were born July 2010, #3 born October 2011, and #4 born January 2013. You sound like the tech savvy version of myself! I love how you write; cracks me up! You go girl!

Laurie Olsen said...

This is phenomenal and made me laugh on many levels. Can't wait to read more!!

Unknown said...

You are hilarious and awesome. Here's to hoping I maintain my humor and wits once I have my own toddlers to herd. Thanks for the honesty and real perspective. Let's not take ourselves to seriously.

Deanna @ From Casinos To Castles said...

Love this! You sound so funny and down to earth, especially about parenting! I have one and he runs me ragged...can't imagine 3!

Adam Sommer said...

Great to see a successful blogger using Blogger! I do too even though everyone says Wordpress is better.

Congrats on the mention in Alive Mag!

Adam Sommer
www.VisitFlyoverCountry.com

Megan H said...

Fun blog! Do you have a post about choosing the name for your blog?

Jessica Murrie said...

Oh I've fallen in love with your blog and reading this makes me excited! You live in St. Louis! Where does your husband do his residency? I will be delivering at Mercy in May, and I'm only a few days behind you. But big difference is it's my first, not the fourth!
xo jess
www.stmurrie.blogspot.com

Angela Meyer Corr said...

I came across your Instagram and noticed your husband in his scrubs (my husband is a urology resident). Then, upon reading your blog, you said you were residing in St. Louis. This is where I'm from! If you ever need to commiserate about your husband's job, you've got a friend in me :)

hbeals said...

Oh, goodness, this page was so completely entertaining to read, I started and couldn't stop! And I agree with many comments above...that dress!!

Liz/ said...

I just discovered your blog and I am in love! This page is hilarious and perfect and I can't wait to get reading!!!

Melzie at Ribbons and Rotor Blades said...

New follower here!!! I love your blog!!! It's hilarious, your children are precious, and it's always nice to see "St. Louis" in a blog. It's my hometown but sadly, it contains no ocean and thus isn't conducive to my Navy husband (although Florida isn't too bad!) But we miss it and I always look forward to coming back and visiting!

Emily L said...

haha great about page. love it! my husband & I are still childless but I've gathered from watching many other parents that in order to stay sane, you have to roll with the punches & LAUGH. so, thanks for inspiring me to keep it lighthearted whenever children invade our lives! ;)

Emma Mulliner said...

hahaha! i love this page!
your kids sound just like mine (only a little younger) xx

Jules Ruud said...

This page has cracked me up. Sounds like you have your hands full but are killing it mama.I can't wait to read more!

Neil Collins said...

We are new bloggers and love your family blog! Just wanted to say hello!

Ashley Breinholt said...

Just stumbled upon your blog. Love reading about another resident's wife's journey with 4 kids (my husband is an anesthesia resident and we have a 7, 4, and 2 18 month olds). Congrats on being in your last year of residency!

Keila Leist said...

This was so hilarious! So nice to learn more about you & your family. Also, loved your wedding dress! So gorgeous! I often wonder what it'll be like once my husband is in his last year of residency but it seems like decades away! For now we celebrate his last year of med school woot woot! And then I can scour your older posts to get some insight on residency and kids haha! Xo, Keila

amisterandasister said...

HILARIOUS. Glad I found your blog. Can't wait to see what 5 will be like.

Jaime Hilton said...

OH my word. You are hilarious!! I follow you on IG, but this is my first time to your blog. SO glad I came and read this. I laughed the whole way through. This, as a reality show, would be a number one. Hands down.

sarah said...

love love the family recap!!

Kimber said...

Oh my freaking heck, I just read the updated family bios and laughed my head off. I love you.

Unknown said...

So amazing to have you back! Love these posts so much!!

Madelyn said...

You and your family were SO missed online. Thanks for coming back in full force. Your page is looking great.

Maria Zuber said...

Yes! Love the updates and the photos! no words are needed with so many of the photos you capture! priceless.

Tim and Sarah said...

Bosco might be the happiest, but for some reason Theo is my favorite.

Mrs Izzy said...

How sweet that his parents are your God parents, swoon!!!

Regina Kelly said...

Just realized that Bosco was born the day before my little girl! What a fun thing to discover! I love your blog thanks for sharing :)

Regina Kelly said...

Just realized that Bosco was born the day before my little girl! What a fun thing to discover! I love your blog thanks for sharing :)

Daisy said...

So... newcomer to this blog, here. I thought Bosco looked about the same age as my youngest... only to find out, later on the page, that he is. To. The. Day. Nifty!! =D

Alisia said...

LOL! BEST About me page everrrrr!
I've been reading your blog ever since we had our fourth babies around the same time 😀
( Then you went and one-uped me )

Brittany Krahn said...

Haven't seen this about page! So great!!! Really missing you and your clan on Instagram tho!

Alicia McCallum said...

This is amazing. I'm so excited that I've found your blog!

elliablue said...

I know I'm rather late to the party, but so good to read your blog! :)

Sarah Meléndez said...

LOVE this page! And it's so funny that you said Theo doesn't look like either of you because I always think he looks so much like you!

Erin Marie said...

Recently found your blog and what a treat! You are a hoot! Love it. :)

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