Wednesday, January 28, 2015

hospital hijinks

Yeah, yeah ... it might take three hours of painstaking planning and dressing and diapering and feeding and diapering again to get the crew out the door to visit Simon when he's working over the weekend but once we get there (unless something comes up on his end while we're driving or after we get there -- has happened! will happen again! the world will keep on turning!) the kids' standards for fun are pretty low.

It's great. No, really.

Por ejemplo:

A. mac and cheese day in the cafeteria? Christmas come 11 months early.

B. the "comments and suggestions" and "nominate an exceptional nurse" cards all over the hospital? Hoarder Julia's dream COME TRUE (and she's got a massive backpack full of paper treasures to prove it and she will notice if a few get thrown in the recycling bin by mean Mom, she's a very well adjusted four year old)

C. the very occasional trip up to Dad's "bedroom" to watch a few minutes of Cartoon Network? Heaven is a place on earth and the Patton kids have landed.

D. elevators

E. escalators {unless your name is Theo}

F. breastfeeding basics prenatal classes

G. and for our latest Friday night hospital hallway lights of excitement we've got the thrilling and hilarious game of ...


I never ever see it coming. Ever. 

{photo #2 ... Theo is always a little slow on the uptake ... just a little}

So you can imagine just how sad I was to bust out the call weekend calendar to discover that no! could it be?

Eye rub.

We only have seven call weekends left?


Twenty eight overnight shifts left total (that night float month'll getcha) but the light! It's there. The tunnel isn't pitch black anymore.

Fancy that.

I'm thinking in addition to the inevitable glut of pregnancy prattle ... I'll have to throw in a weekly "residency final countdown update" to really ensure that the blog is gutted of any and all readers other than my grandma and Simon. Smile. Not kidding. EVEN BIGGER CRAZY EYED NO BLINK SMILE. 

Monday, January 26, 2015

baby number five

... which makes me think of the song, "Mambo Number Five" which is tied for first place along with, "Happy", and "Moves like Jagger" for most annoying song EVER.  

I had to write the tiniest post to say a sequoia (the tree, not the vehicle) sized thank you for being so kind and generous with your comments and emails and everything re: the baby news. I was totally expecting a whole battalion of cricket chirps or a something more along the lines of ...

... understandably. But no! Simon and I were floored by how nice everyone was over the weekend. Simon was working yesterday but at one point he sent me a screenshot from my favorite social media medium with, "holy poop emoji"

you know the one ...

(I have no idea if that fact is true but I found it on the trustworthy internet so ... truth is likely)

Thank you thank you thank you. So much. 

Let's see .... can I give you any juicy details that wouldn't put you to sleep? No, but that's never stopped me before. I've been feeling great since about 15 weeks and I'm convinced it's a girl just like I was with Sebastian, Theo, and Phoebe so we'll see if my stellar track record gets another gold star.

It will be an exciting last week of June as the baby is due and we are moving and Simon is taking his boards as soon as we get down to Florida but we have the best friends and family already volunteering to help. My biggest stress {if you can even call it that} is going to be finding a grip of skinny car seats (this one? I know there are others and I will FIND YOU} to legally fit everyone in the Odyssey but .... minor, minor details.

Costco receipt checker ... you better get ready for this belly.

I solemnly swear to use that terrible pun no fewer than five times before June.

And I spent a mortifying amount of time getting that fancy baby onto that receipt so if you could at least pretend to marvel .... that would be wonderful.

Thank you.

Saturday, January 24, 2015

all the things they said

"I think we should name her, "Lazy" - Julia

"When will he be born? Four minutes?" - Sebastian

blank stare + speechless - Theo

"not care, not look."  - Phoebe

"you call this an adequate pregnancy announcement?' - baby #5

Yes sir!

Or ma'am!

We'll find out in June {as clearly illustrated above} and we cannot wait.

Oh, what?

A bump snap?

You know I always aim to please ...

 ... I'll wait for the full on clutch and gaze until tomorrow because Simon said I looked like I was pulling a Vanna White with my own stomach PLUS ... daily updates until d-day so there's plenty of time for posing variety.



Friday, January 23, 2015

madame linx-a-lot

Like Sir Mix-a-lot.
But not.
I know, the struggle is obvious today.


Yay. It's the freakin weekend. Which just means Simon's hours are longer than the weekdays but ... c'est la woe-is-me. I just quadruple checked his schedule and he has the next two!!!! weekends off (where my party emoji at?) so we'll focus on that.


He did have to take a test today instead of reporting to labor and delivery so he got to stay home long enough to enjoy breakfast with our two non-verbal roosters which was super nice. I think the call weekend count for the remaining months of residency might be nearing the single digits? Maybe? I won't count yet but ... we are getting there. Chipping away ... one optimistic day at a time. Toothy smile.


I linked to these leggings a few weeks ago in this post and some of you fine people mentioned that they were worth the splurge and so I believed you and waited until they went on sale and then promptly took the plunge ...

... and haven't taken them off since.

{also, welcome to my blogging office - desktop background found here}

Well, I have but only to turn them inside out because they are reversible. They fit true to size (do not size up) and don't ride down at all (a huge plus) and hold their shape and make the kids breakfast when your baditude flares up and is like, "didn't I just do that yesterday?!" There are a handful of styles that are 40% off right now but, no peer pressure. At all. Fun fact though! The creative director of Zella used to work at Lululemon (tidbit of trivia thanks to Shana!). Okay, I promise not to talk about my second skin again for three whole days. PROMISE.

It wouldn't be a list of links if I didn't include a little something about Costco.

So I'm going to be a fatty fat hypocrite and admit that even though I am in the process of donating all of our tangible possessions ... I'm super tempted to try this service. Some of my favorite bloggers (Kacia, Kilee, Jen, and others, I know!) have posted about it and I'm so intrigued. Enough to try? At least once. Then ... we'll go from there. And you better believe I'll be chucking a post full of mirror length selfies your way once my "fix" arrives. Gird your excitement.

The Bachelor! Duh. I almost forgot. I missed the first hour because Phoebe managed to wedge half of a Frozen snowflake sticker (thank you resident hoarder: Julia) up in her mouth. It fit in her palate perfectly and it took Simon a long time to coax it out (we were scared it would cut her because it was a puffy sticker with the razor edges or that she would swallow it) and you can throw the "my kid got a pea stuck so far up his nose that they had to do brain surgery to get it out" stories at me so I feel less terrible because she'd been refusing her bottle for a few days so I think it had been there for a spell. Anyway, I'm feeling the Whitney vibes but there's still so much producer-driven drama (why?! the show breeds its own crazy) that needs to clear the air before I can pick a clear winner. You know Ashley did not disappoint with her recap. Does she ever? Nope!

I think Phoebe might be in the process of dropping her morning nap (NoooooOoooOooooOOOOoO!!!!) so I asked the Facebook page at what age their kids pulled this bologna and the 80 comments were oh so very dismal. I'll do just about anything to get the three younger kids to nap in unison in the afternoon but I guess I was super spoiled by the older three because they didn't drop their beautiful morning siesta until around 14 months. Phoebe turned nine months today. Poor Grace. I know.

Alright. It's macaroni and cheese day in the hospital cafeteria and the kids are beside themselves with excitement (you just keep that childhood bar low, Grace + Simon) so I better start the three hour process of getting them dressed and shoed and all of that.

And because Phoebe has been hogging the blog photo spotlight ... I'll snub her with a photo of the maturer children ...

this was a fun morning.

happy weekend.
I guess.