Wednesday, July 23, 2014

a dream come true

You longtime and loyal (and kind and generous and patient) readers just might recall that one time Julia found a snake. That clip is an important part of the backstory.

Anyway, recently Julia and Sebastian have taken a great interest in collecting and hoarding worms ...


... and as fate would have it, I hate worms. I hate them almost as much as I hate the current rotation that Simon is on (HOMESTRETCH THOUGH) right now. He's gone a lot and so we popped over to say hello last night and upon our return Julia found a, "REALLY BIG GIANT GIANT WORM!!!!" in the front yard ...


Gross.

But of course I took a photo to send to Simon so that he might know and love all that he is missing on the homefront.

And then I noticed that the "worm" kept aptly slithering out of Julia's hand. Julia just chalked it up to, "oh! it's such a SILLY worm!!" and then would scoop him right back up again.

AND THEN I noticed that the "worm" kept sticking it's tongue out and isn't that something that only ...

SNAKE.

Oh, freshest of hells it was a cursing snake. Albeit a baby or maybe a dwarf but a snake nonetheless.

My current fearset goes a little something like this: predators, needles, snakes, dry hands, and running out of diapers. So snakes are my bronze medal fear.


After I told the kids, "It's a very dangerous and poisonous snake ... please kill it immediately and come inside out of harm's way" Julia asked, "hmmmm ... what does kell mean?!" and kept on playing with lucifer jr.

Sebastian played deaf and made an obstacle course/soccer goal for the serpent who didn't bite. Lit or fig, thankfully.

Eventually, the kids came inside after I pulled out my biggest gun and threatened no more almond milk ever (something I find disgusting but they LOVE).


Phoebe was clearly petrified as a courtesy in solidarity with her pansy of a mother.

Could it have been worse? Absolutely. Will Sebastian find a much larger reptile in the wild in the near or distant future and make it his own first pet to know and love? Potentially. But still! Was I scared enough to scream loud enough to make our elderly neighbor come busting out of his house and speed walk down his wheelchair ramp to see what all the ruckus was about? Yes.

Three minutes in the life. Much fun. So very much.

Nightmares coming to life left and right.

Love,

Mother Warrior


Monday, July 21, 2014

Oh Happy Day

On Sunday after we bathed the kids, fought and beat Sebastian's strict, "never ever wash my hair and if you do I will scream like a banshee" policy, got them dressed in their finery, changed Julia into lesser finery after she spilled coffee on her brand new dress purchased solely for the occasion, chased some Excedrin with some coffee, were only six minutes late for Mass, escorted Theo out of the pew for the majority of the hour, broke up a fist fight betwixt Julia and Sebastian in the pew, and made multiple donut bribes ... Phoebe Anika was baptized.

She was ecstatic.


Phoebe's phenomenal godparents, Jeff and Tara (although Julia insists we call them, "Tara and Jeff" ... logic trumps all around here). Before I go any further with the photo glut I have to sing-type their praises. They drove all the way up from Dallas and were great sports staying under our circus tent for the night. I went to college with Tara but really got to know her last year as fate would have it that we both lived in St. Louis. Happily, our husbands got along (or they do a very good job faking their friendship but ... methinks they don't) and we had a wonderful year of local friendship before they moved down to Dallas where Jeff is finishing law school. We had the BEST time seeing them. Phoebe is a lucky little lady to have them in her life. They are some good peoples.


Before Julia (successfully) bolted down the aisle, Sebastian happily followed, and Theo clung and continued to chew on his fingers (fie on you, molars).


Happy little christian.


Like the other kids, Phoebe wore my baptismal gown that Simon admired from afar at my baptism over 30 years ago. I've explained that Simon's parents are my godparents, right? 999 times, I think. One more can't hurt. ONE THOUSAND, for the dubya.

And since you're all Curious little Georges I'll have you know that we celebrated in style with some Dunkin' at a nearby park afterwards. Nothing but the best for our out of town guests. It was a weekend I'd happily rewind and replay multiple times. I always get anxiety over baptisms (yes, crazy is my middle name) but Phoebe did great, the kids did not great and it all sort of evened itself out. One of these days I'll step down from Crazytown but my surroundings are so familiar right now ... why move?

AND ... one more for the road.


And thus concludes the story of Phoebe's, "bath-tism" (Julia's ironic pronunciation).

Thanks for visiting.
I promise fewer Phoebe photos next time.
Maybe.
Baby.

Friday, July 18, 2014

bridging the gap


 
shoes - old Kork-Ease via eBay
blouse - ancient Forever XXI
shorts - c/o White Plum
bag - c/o Lily Jade


denim - American Eagle via thredUP
top - c/o White Plum
wedges - Target

I like to pretend that in a former life I actually looked about 110% less awkward when taking totally not ridiculous outfit photos but this is not fantasy land and hello awkward. How do the dedicated fashion bloggers do it? Teach the commoners, please!

Anyway, all the awkward is totally worth it because as I dip my postpartum hips back into civilian clothing and slowly back away from the comfort and ease of of maternity + stretchy everything I have a new found love and appreciation for my favorite online boutique, White Plum. I didn't have to dig very deep to find flowy (but not too flowy) tunics, loads of stretchy waistbands along with tons of gorgeous dresses (I'm wearing this one to Phoebe's baptism this weekend - great length and very forgiving cut!).

White Plum sent me a discount code (GRACE20 for 20% off all orders) to give to you and I maybe pulled a bit of a shady move (I told them! Not terribly shady, I suppose) and used the code to order another pair of the scalloped shorts because I don't have to zip them up and I will never be too good for an elastic waistband. I love them to dress up or dress down and get out of my running short rut. They are having a massive sale right this moment and I'm about to justify many more tunic purchases in anticipation of the Florida move because I'm responsible like that, always.

White Plum is giving away a $50 gift card to THREE lucky ladies right here, right now. Three winners so your odds aren't terrible.

Take it away, Rafflecopter! And I wish YOU spades upon spades of luck.


a Rafflecopter giveaway


Tuesday, July 15, 2014

obstacle course

greetings from the land of Been Trying To Blog For Many Many MANY Hours. So, no time for pleasantries because I'm very very busy having fun in Adventureland. I think this post is being typed in Comic Sans or something equally terrible but ... I can't tell and I'll explain why.

Now!

Let's take a gander at all the technical roadblocks I've encountered in the past 28 hours.

Last night Simon was at work and Phoebe was throwing down one of her more impressive bedtime meltdowns when I heard Julia tattle-hollering on Sebastian. No one likes a tattle-tale but I happen to love them. Generally when Julia feels the need to shriek about Sebastian's shenanigans ... it's for very good and horrifying reasons. Short story short Sebastian had built himself a little step up to the trashcan which he used to climb onto the counter and grab a bottle of window cleaner (Windex for those that don't go the generic route). He had then dumped a hefty amount all over the laptop's keyboard, in an effort to effectively ruin my life over the course of 25 seconds.

I ran/bounced into the kitchen holding an angry Phoebe, surveyed the damage and had a little meltdown of my own.

Allow Julia to demonstrate* ...

Monkey see, I suppose.

I blinked a few times and consulted my phone and Googled something along the lines of, "liquid all over keyboard survival rate" and all of the answers were incredibly grim.

LIFE OVER.

(Should I admit that this was FAR more upsetting than the time we came veryclose to freezing to death in our own home? No, I won't.)

I looked at Sebastian who showed nary a sliver of remorse ...

Theo did an excellent job of reenacting Sebastian's concern.

Oh, I know. It's just a thing and I should probably be more concerned that Sebastian can slither his way up on top of the counter in .02 seconds and into a lot of trouble faster than I can say, "negligent parent!!". But I'm not exactly the best at backing up my hoards of photos and was mostly upset about the prospect of losing those. And, Shallow Hal might've been a smidgeon concerned about her blogging. She didn't want to leave her blog loving grandma hanging.

So I took the felon to the Apple Store today (while Simon propped his eyelids open with sharp objects after a long overnight shift and dealt with the other kids) where they had no fewer than EIGHT iPads set up for kids (?!) loaded with games which only confused Sebastian, "show, mom? watch show?" ....

We figured out how to paint ... sort of.

It reads, "I'm not sure what you said there, Fat." Luckily, Sebastian can't read. Nor can he subtract and was none too pleased when one of the games tried to teach him how to do both.

After waiting and waiting in the craziest store where all patience goes to die it was our turn (plebeian walk-ins! apparently people make appointments after their computers are suddenly damaged beyond repair? It seems to make as much sense as calling ahead to the ER to make an appointment for next week in the event that someone needs some stitches ... or maybe I was just dining on some sour grapes)

After lots of technical mumbo jumbo talk and lots of plugging and unplugging various cords the Genius Bartender said I was in luck and so I sat up a little straighter ...

"how much luck?!"

Not that much. They were able to transfer everything over onto a new (not free) computer. Well, it's still transferring at the store (HOARDS of photos ... ) which leads me to tonight.

I'm using Simon's laptop from med school and the poor thing sounds an awful lot like it could use a tank of oxygen because it's loud and tired and freezes every six minutes for seven solid minutes.

But the blog must go on. So I opened up Picasa to upload some photos to this post and was immediately greeted by some very detailed photos Simon had used for a conference poster last year. A poster about vaginal surgery.

 yeah.

And so, here we be. A post about my treacherous journey to blog. This would be one of those,"I never knew you could be so underwhelming, Grace" moments. I try to keep them to a minimum but ... generic window cleaner happens. Life goes on. Or it will just as soon as I get my 5th child back in my possession.

*Julia was upset because she and Sebastian were in timeout (those parents!) and Sebastian kept calling her a, "bad boy!!" and she lost it and argued that, "no!!! I'm a bad guwl!!" and so it went. And went. And went. Sue me for snapping some memory keepers.

I'll be back in a flash. Promise.