Friday, May 22, 2015

the best day of them all

If you've been a longtime reader or made the unfortunate mistake of dipping back into the blog's archives you'll know that I will readily and heartily admit that I came into residency with my eyes tightly closed thinking they were wide open and it was an ugly tug-of-war as they two sort of figured out some sort of great compromise. The straw that broke my first year camel's back was night float. Night float was the two months a year (separate months, praise the sanity gods) that Simon was (you like that past tense?! ME TOO) gone from 5pm-8am and then slept during the day. Sounds not so bad, right? No. I didn't anticipate being able to not sleep ... at all. AT ALL. Only because I'm crazy and was sure a predator was ready to pounce and kill outside every window and door (security systems means nothing in the face of my logic, unfortunately). I'm a lot better now with the help of time (I went down to the basement after dark last night! Progress Patton) and Benadryl and I guess having "older" kids around? But looking back on the many months that I would repeatedly sleep 30-60 minutes a night only to wake up in time to greet another super lonely day/evening/night (especially when the kids were really little) ... those were NOT the happiest days. However! every year truly got a little easier and I have so much admiration, empathy, sympathy, and respect for parents who go it alone or have deployed spouses etc. I will forever be an infant in the face of your heroism ... truly. It's not easy. At all.

Anyway, Simon still has two call weekends and a month of surgery left to tackle before we move down to Tampa and he has to take his boards before he starts his fellowship July 1st BUT we've been talking about THIS particular day for a LONG time. We talked up having kegs and eggs and celebrating in relative style but the reality is that we're having hospital cafeteria sprinkle donuts and chocolate milk while frantically throwing things in boxes and let the kids do whatever the eff they want (within reason!!!).

Before you start getting your eyes all set to ROLL position over yet another ridiculous slideshow ... know that I could've gone with this terrible anthem but I did not. I was tempted because I'm the most melodramatic human of all time. I yam. No, instead I went with a song that features the line, "these are the nights that never die" .... seemed fitting. Except .... they DID.


And in case you're hungry for more celly, grainy goodness ... I'm not stingy ...

From last night's celebratory visit ... one, two, three, nope - NO smiles.

... this is like 1% better but, sold. I guess.

And I have to give a hearty shoutout to Simon's co-worker, Kira, who (while on nights herself!!!) gifted me with this pretty lady ...

... as a congratulatory token for surviving nights because she must be the most thoughtful human of all time. She included strict instructions to wait until after I'm done gestating to imbibe so I hope she's ready to split it with me in the hospital post-baby while she's on OR off the clock. I'm not picky. ;)

Happy freakin' weekend, bb.

Thursday, May 21, 2015

because our house is one big clusterbox at the moment ...

... many, many boxes. And many things unboxed.

judging me so hard for the tsunami of tshit just out of the tshot.

are you sick of this move yet?

Me neither.


the moving truck comes tomorrow and then I'll shut up about it until the baby comes and then you've got a whole new overblogged headache on your hands. Pick your poison, kids.

Anyway, as much as I'd like to detail this last week's events in a lengthy diatribe regarding the near fatal migraine that was thee back and forth and back and forth and back and forth with our house buyers (miraculous agreement reached! only after a certain spouse of mine used up his lifetime quota of appropriately raised voice f-bombs, I assure you) along with allllll the repairmen and inspectors and surveyors and electricians and plumbers (or "the fixers" as Sebastian calls them) that were in and out of the house and had lots to say about: five (?!?!?!?!) kids, Florida ("be careful! my niece was eaten by a gator!!" one offered ... which we couldn't tell if that was a joke so things got somber and confusing for a second), our terrible packing methods, blah blah blah ...... but I won't. I will not.

The internet always comes to my rescue.

I'm not even KIND of in the market for a swimsuit at this particular moment in time but when I dip my toes into postpartum swimsuit shopping ... Shana and the gang have got me covered. Hopefully VERY covered. But, really ... they did a phenomenal job of addressing an impressive range of (many nursing friendly!) suits for all the body types, shapes, and sizes out there. And am I the only one that wants to be bff+e with Shana? Blog crush por vida.

Oh! And one of my other blog crushes, Fran, makes me want to reconsider adding white denim to my closet ... when the kids and their sticky hands are tucked safely in bed or .... far, far away.

In case you didn't see this floating around Facebook, Sweet Nell always hits the nail on the head .... a wise wife and mother that one.

Because we'll be living out of suitcases for the next several weeks - I get to pretend I'm super on top of life (lololololol) and already have my hospital bag all set to go. These are one of the first items that went in because they really are amazing as all 23894289347823947293472734 reviews praise them to be and they haven't flinched at my massive thorax one time this entire pregnancy. TROOPERS.

I also packed a few of these. I'm that confident in my gender prediction.

I'm determined not to drop the Father's Day ball (ahem, on behalf of our lazy children) this year and am patting myself on the belly for already ordering a batch of these along with putting something else together that (of course) I'll show you in detail SOON.

Did you watch The Bachelorette(s)? I haven't finished the second night but agree with the ick feeling sage Sharleen describes. Hopefully it's smoothish sailing from here on out.

And that's pretty much it. For now. I'm off to list some gently loved appliances on Craigslist and explain to a very concerned Julia for the 99th time that yes, her hoard of glorified trash will be making the move.


Tuesday, May 19, 2015

Simon Says

sweatshirt: c/o Emoi Emoi
pants + buttondown: JCrew/Factory
shoes: c/o Rack Room Shoes
shades: Amazon

Theo's brother beater: c/o Phoebe's dresser drawer
shoes: c/o Rack Room Shoes

After reading a pet-friendly rental house listing a few months ago and thinking out loud, Simon said, "well we don't have any pets but we will be moving in with a fully stocked zoo."

After claiming for YEARS that he could change ANY diaper with a maximum of two wipes Simon said, "well after this week of GI kid hell ... I have to admit that my lifetime wipe quota went way, way up."

While folding a load or 78 of long neglected laundry Simon asked me, "and do you want me to put your clothes away too or just put it all back in the dryer where it's normally kept?"

While watching the three older kids rough house, Simon said, "Theo's idea of wrestling is getting his ass beat."

While going through his (high school and college) clothing and deciding what to keep vs. what to donate ...
Grace: I think a good rule of thumb is to get rid of anything you haven't worn in a year
Simon: What about the rule of, "could potentially be worn in the next ten years" ?

While watching all the kids for two hours Simon texted, "lunch only took ten minutes - how is that possible?"

Regarding the boys' vastly different looks Simon said, "Sebastian got my rugged looks while Theo resembles more of a china doll."

Every single time a new Taylor Swift song comes out and he hears it on the radio for the first time ... he very genuinely asks, "the new Miley Cyrus single, right?"

After changing yet another diaper during the third round of what we {jokingly} suspected may have been Ebola {aka the stomach flu on very strong steroids} moved through all four of the kids three separate times Simon said, "it's been like an epic battle between the North and the South."

FOUR days after Princess Charlotte Elizabeth Diana was born I asked him if he'd heard that the baby finally had a name and Simon seriously said, "no, did she have a boy or a girl?"


While packing up my faux succulents Simon very seriously asked, "do you mind if I pack up these petunias?"

After I put Phoebe in what I thought was a very cute romper Simon said, "she looks like a 94 year old ready for her water aerobics class."

In response to my announcement that I generously did not eat any of his very favorite lime popsicles out of the freezer during my (still ongoing) pregnancy popsiclypse Simon said, "I believe you can go ahead and file that under 'sacrificial love'."

After I put on a maternity Maxi ...
Grace: does this look like a pioneer era nightgown?
Simon: well ...
Simon: is it??

Monday, May 18, 2015

worlds of fun

Part II of our trip to Kansas City! Where were we?!

Ah yes.

Worlds of Fun.

I was going to say literal worlds of fun but didn't want the literal definition snobs to come at me. So! figurative worlds of fun is more fitting (but less fun) I suppose.

But, really. Worlds of Fun was super fun and I didn't even ride any rides (shockingly - suppress that lol). We had a limited amount of post-nap/pre-dinner time but we made the most of it and even with the perfect Saturday afternoon weather we didn't have to wait in any lines in Planet Snoopy (the dedicated kid area).

I'm fairly certain that Julia died and ascended straight to heaven because the girl loves a good ride.

while the boys ...

didn't even dare risk riding so much as the merry-go-round.

No, Theo marched right up to the (very tame) kiddy "roller coaster" and got himself all set in one of the cars and insisted and insisted and insisted and insisted that he wanted to ride it with Simon and I'll spare you the after photos but .... he might have a touch of ride PTSD for years to come because he was not happy afterwards.

But Julia was unfazed and kept on keeping on ...

and the fiesta funions ...

did not.

Actually, Sebastian finally warmed to the idea of hitting up the race cars .... much to Julia's delight ...

.... but the thrill seeker couldn't ignore the siren song of a thrill for long ...

and then Sebastian caught the bug ...

and before we knew it ... someone had to up the ante and weaseled her way onto the coaster of doom ...

just kidding.

calm down.

Phoebe and I kept our own little excitement party alive with a lengthy trip to the very nice family center where there was a dedicated baby feeding room (not that anyone should ever feel that they can't nurse in public, of course!) with high chairs and rocking chairs and glorious air conditioning and private bathrooms outfitted with clean clean clean changing tables galore. Phoebadora (Simon's new nickname for her which makes sense because it's double the syllabic expenditure) was thrilled with the playroom where she could not stop staring at a gentleman who had worked himself into a frenzy over a reportedly stolen clip-on tail that he had purchased earlier in the day.

"nah brah, it's just a tail. and you're a human."

Checking out the exciting map while I staked out alllllll the different bathrooms on the premises.

Also, in case you didn't notice ... I'm learning to pick my parenting battles because ... socks and sandals a la Julia. Learning.

And lest you think Theo had no fun ... he was super happy to push Phoebadora around and there was a big tented playground where Simon took the older three for a lengthy number of minutes that he had to be dragged out of. Not pictured, I'm sorry.

We were then only about 25 minutes late meeting my brothers and one of their lady friends for some BBQ nevermind that they drove an hour+ to meet us from Atchison. Sorry boys!

But, we were worth the wait.

I'm sure.

(Theo's love language will forever be: getting his photo taken)

Anyway. All in all ... despite Phoebe's life-hating performance she put on in the car on the way home and the stomach bug from satan himself that we contracted the week following it was still a solid weekend that I wouldn't mind repeating once or twice or even thrice. And just as we're getting the hang of traveling as a family of six ... lucky number seven is about to hop (I almost said slide - you were spared) onto the scene. Hopefully he/she is up for a little adventure because we are obviously a family of Carmen Sandiegos in the making.