Thursday, March 5, 2015

23 weeks

"I drew a beautiful photo of you, Mom"

- Julia Grace Patton {age 4}
  aspiring self esteem coach and confidence builder

Wednesday, March 4, 2015

the price of peace

There are so many things, both good and bad, that have surprised me about parenthood (the astounding amount of food a three year old boy can consume in one sitting, the astounding number of times a two year old boy will sit through consecutive and dramatic readings of Prince of the Potty and still ask for MORE consecutive and dramatic readings of Prince of the Potty , and how entertaining and conniving and hilarious and exasperating and sweet kids can be over the course of four little minutes and MORE), but one that has sort of slowly crescendoed and snuck up on me has been the near constant level of noise in the house. Happy noise! Unhappy noise! All sorts of noise but ... noise. So the other evening when Simon was working overnight and I had just come upstairs from quickly switching the laundry, all the kids were awake, and I heard .... NO noise ... I paused. Yes, I stopped to enjoy the sweet sound of nothing for two glorious seconds because ...

... while it's a wonderful break from the usual chaos - experience tells me that there is a 100% chance that someone is up to absolutely no good. 

I went in search of my charges and found that someone had opened the door to the upstairs for lady P ...

... so that she might make her maiden voyage and inevitable maiden tumble down said stairs. Luckily, she was stuck on the second stair struck with a newfound fear of heights so I scooped Humpty up and kept searching. 

Next we found Theo who was happily digging for nose gold with one hand and rummaging through my shoes with the other. Boring and harmless. 

And then we came upon Sebastian ... in the bathroom. 

And before you start judging me for leaving the bathroom open please know that it's always locked from the outside VERY high above his reach ...

... but Sebastian Patton does not care.

Anyway, when I asked him what he was doing and he gave his requisite, "any-sing! not any-sing!" I was pleasantly surprised to only find some of his more amateur work ...

... accompanied by a skating rink of Vaseline on the floor but ... he must've been in a lazy mood because it could've been so much worse.

We moved on and I was relieved to find Julia upstairs combing through and organizing her hoards of trinkets she's collected from around the house.  Fast forward several hours and one coronary to realize that one of said trinkets was my wedding ring she'd thrown in mix for kicks but ... another story for not another time. A happy ending was all that matters here. 

So! The moral of the post is that I'd better think twice next time I want to do a two minute chore on another floor.

I'm sure you can one or two or even three-up me. Remember the flour YouTube? You can do better.

Hit me with your silent stories.

Monday, March 2, 2015

the juggle was real

Do you want to know what I gave up for lent?

Coffee and chocolate {usually it's fries because the hospital cafeteria makes a mean fry .... and I'm 12}

Anyway, and then do you want to know what happened?

Simon went out of town for five days.

Yes, the lenten sinner beat out the lenten saint {but just this once, of course! of course} and I only regret not buying a bigger bottle because ...

the weekend weather was so delightful.

In like a lion?

More like in like a motherhating tyrant. I believe his name was Sparta ... and apparently Thor is right behind him .... joy and euphoria abound.

Julia curled up for an afternoon nap on the couch slash ... my winter sentiments exactly. {oh, is it cliche to hate on winter? please - see all my care. right there ..... }

Anyway, back to the former situation at hand.

Simon was gone in North Carolina getting his conference on {along with some pretty solid uninterrupted sleep, I'd imagine but! let's not dwell on that, baby G} and we, The Abandoned, were getting along okayish when I broke/crushed a molar into pieces someway/somehow and it needed somewhat immediate medical attention but not immediate enough that I was willing to take the kids in with me. All the laughing emojis. Luckily (!!!!!) I found a last minute sitter and snatched up a canceled dental appointment and after much and very welcome drilling and patching ... I was as good as new.

Trying to smile in my weekend widow finery but the good dentist numbed me up to my eyeballs.
Not complaining. 
At all. 

The kids got creative with their imaginative play after they tired of playing in the snow for 2.3 minutes. Here we have Julia teaching her dutiful pupil Theo how to pretend to "barax in the sun and get a tan at the beach!!" ...

the most charmed childhood.

And then Grace got crazy and desperate for fleeting social interaction with a population over the age of five years and it only made logical sense to hit up the fabric store on Friday night.


Or, por vida if you prefer.

I kew exactly what Sebastian was thinking before he started thinking it {"unravel all the ribbons, now"} and made the necessary intervention/yanked him away.

The kind gal cutting fabric for my {very tiny} projects refused to believe that Julia and Sebastian weren't twins and then that they were all mine {always a funny question because you know what I'd do if the kids had friends over? take them on menial Friday night errands} and then kept calling them a child army and giggling while I zipped my coat up nice and tight lest she {understandably} start in on soldier #5.

Anyway, we survived. And now I have an even greater appreciation for single parents and those with spouses that travel frequently and those with spouses who are deployed. You are better humans than I am. I didn't struggle with holding down the fort solo so much but mostly how shallow my patience reserves were and how quickly the fifth request for milk in between two diaper changes over the course of five minutes sent me into super impatient land. And then came the vicious cycle of extreme guilt followed by a new resolve to be patient and an almost immediate fail. Repeat! And although on the introverted scale I fall somewhere near "antisocial hermit" I was extremely surprised at how lonely I felt.

But, ding dong the trip is dead because Simon got home late last night. Months of stalking the 10 day forecast has paid off and I saw a 60-something predicted for next week and we are going to hit every packed playground we possible can that day.

I had the happy foresight to hire a sitter for my OB appt this morning where I was genuinely shocked to learn I hadn't gained 10 pounds since last visit {close though! very close} followed by a gloriously solo trip to Target to buy a new dish brush and maybe some creamer. Maybe.

I'll never tell.

Friday, February 27, 2015

ladies who snack

When Julia first dropped her afternoon nap forever I may have been a little bit guilty of throwing a small and intimate pity party for myself because I cherished the peace and quiet so very much after the general chaos that greeted me every morning. But, my selfish frozen heart has since thawed and now I've grown to love the time I have with Julia in the afternoon while the other three sleep. She peppers me with deep questions such as, "how do you spell 'Sebastian is a poop face'?", we read stimulating literature that would go way over the little kids' heads ...

... and we ALWAYS indulge in a little afternoon snack. Always. NatureBox {post sponsor!} recently sent us one of their subscription boxes to try and so I saved it to open for our little 2:10pm ritual ...

... and things got real fancy real fast ...

Granny Smith apples, dark cocoa almonds, chocolate banana chips, strawberry carrot chews, and Greek yogurt pretzels.

+ NatureBox is a healthy snack subscription service that offers a wide range of membership options {monthly, bi-monthly, etc}
+ There are over 100 snacks to choose from and you can choose the exact snacks you'd like or let them surprise you .... depending on how spontaneous your feeling when you order.
+ They abide by strict quality standards: no high fructose corn syrup, no partially hydrogenated oils, no trans fats, no artificial sweeteners, and no artificial flavors or colors.
+ And after all that everything still tastes amazing, I promise.

Phoebe could sense Julia and I were getting our party on without her so she woke up in a terrible mood to join the fun ...

And then Theo woke up extra cheery as he tends to do ...

mean mom and her spread of delicious snacks strikes again.

And Sebastian ....

... who said nothing and just devoured what he could before Julia started sneak-squirreling it all away upstairs in her lair.

The pretzels were the first to go followed quickly by the strawberry carrot chews and bananas. This had nothing to do with the fact that baby #5 and I hid the chocolate almonds almost immediately after I snapped this photo. Nothing.

Anyway, we were such big fans that I already put a reminder in my phone to schedule a shipment {or six} for our drive/move down to Tampa in June to keep us from succumbing to the lure of the fast food convenience and to help keep my nursing hanger pains at bay. Proactive Patton at your service always.

Okay, down to business! NatureBox is giving away a six month subscription to TWO lucky and hopefully hungry readers today. Just head on over and pick out your favorite snack, leave a comment back here with your snack of choice, and you're good! Make sure I have a way to contact you {if your email address isn't linked to your profile, you might want to leave it :)}

If you don't want to wait and would rather join today NatureBox will send you a FREE box of snacks to get you started. Just a click away

Thanks for reading and thanks for playing.
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