gratuitous weekend blip

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31 July 2011

photo style

top to bot:

neatnik meets bookworm
long hair
Julia's sense of humor emerging...hidden around house four time on the daily
drained. whoopsy daisies.
99.9% of our photos. love/anything but
forward facing rebel
26.5 weeks ... heir for Simon or frenemy for J?
Simon risking life chopping up wasp nests to clear a pathway to the garbage so that I might dispose of diapers easier
"is there an app to make my muscles look bigger?" -guess who

more tomorrow...don't fret


7 (official) Quick Takes Friday Volume XV

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29 July 2011

Joining Jen for another addition of the quicks :

1.  My favorite activity of the week by far was meeting up with Meg and her clan:
(photo thieved from her blog)
take a stab at which of our daughters is six months older...

and because I have nothing newsworthy to share...I'll recycle some old headlines with this week's little projects

Goodwill green turned Goodwill green with belt

most difficult (albeit patriotic) project to date, obviously

burlap and scrubs to fitted and more fitted

bejeweled begone

6. and this take might be a little TMI/inapprop for you so if you recently ate or are easily offended...the X to your top left is calling your cursor's name. 
Simon reported (during dinner..thank you) that he was called to rule out/confirm that a lady's water had broken because she reported that she had been consistently leaking fluid.  Once he got to her room and was getting ready to get a sample of the suspicious substance, the patient cheerfully volunteered, 
"I would say it kind of smells like...the penguin house at the zoo."

7. Have a pleasant weekend!
I don't need to tell you about all the fun we'll be having around here.

winter dress

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28 July 2011

I think this navy blue H&M dress I found at the Goodwill is better suited for winter to be worn with knee and lower thigh covering tights
and if I had opted to let the black bedazzle me buttons and safety pin neck closure stick around they would also contribute to the reason for the frock's strict relegation to the cold weather months

To try to transform the bluebell I flipped it inside out and folded it in half lengthwise and said, "hasta la nevaaaa" to that panel of black diamonds and sewed a them right on out of there.... tried to defluff the skirt and sleeves as much as possible without going overboard 
added a kerchief cummerbund (eee--I have been pronouncing that "cumberbund" my whole life) and a braidtail

took a senior portrait complete with faux brick background for the bump's 26 week old sake
and called it a semi-successful day in alteration land

I must be off as I promised Julia we could pluck out and dine on the marshmallows from the Mallow Oats right before dinner. Our favorite.

Last post I'll be dropping this day, prom

Have a nice one.

quick links, quickly

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good morning

this post is sponsored by my deep gratitude for Simon
who is a real saint to take the girls on evening walks whilst saddled with the Bjorn, the fierce pup and the hot pink leash so that I might sit and stare at the wall and chew on my cuticles for several blessed minutes

applause abounding always

Some wealth to spread:
Did you know we are in the midst of NFP awareness week? of course you did
one good article (overlook the title, please)
and if you are Catholic and have kids, 

and my favorite birthday greeting from my funny friend, Cait
never not a dear

I'll be back in a flash with my new favorite dress
prepare your prettiest underwhelmed face


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27 July 2011

Standard subpar post

 three cheers for average
cheer 1
cheer 2
cheer 3

clap clap
alright ... lets begin
of course every post begins with a photo from my perch circa 6 am:
  of an overzealous Julia and an ever-annoyed Lucy

and then we very smoothly transition into the indoor before photo
which is always very pretty
today's patients are:
ill-fitting maternity whites 
a button clad burlap sack from the Goodwill

because the end results joined together made an outfit marriage that scored a .4 on a scale of 1-infinity I broke them up for your viewing pleasure:

the sack was tightened up in the bodice, sleeves and shoulders:
and paired with a matching Quaker Oats shirt, a strip of leather, one hand placed naturally in pocket and the other giving hair a loving pat pat

and again
 with the addition of one cheeeeery baby

the bottoms were taken in a little bit to take the growth potential into account:
and paired with Simon's new shirt, recycled leather and the solitary bang that I have been patiently waiting to grow out

so...nothing terribly impressive or even impressive at all. 

and we'll end with a nice photo of a nice girl doing a nice thing
I think she got my feet...time will well tell I suppose. 

Off to see Meg for the first time in wellllll over a decade. 

not standard...very exciting, actually.

hasta tomorrow probably.


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26 July 2011

First and very foremost:
A round of congratulations to my compadre and old partner in DC crime...
and her husband Paul
on the birth of their adorable son, Henry James.
Happy, happy birthday to you!!!
(all photos c/o

secondly...a less hearty congratulations to Simon for being the giftee, husband of thrifty wife and rocker of this gently loved and formerly owned by another pretty purple plaid Christian Dior numero:
you make Julia look good, even on the right

thirdly...all went perfectly at the ultrasound yesterday. The little babe appears to have inherited my Cyrano
 nose, Simon's smile and whether he/she gets the 'beautiful heart' from me or Sime...has yet to be determined. 

and lastly...Julia is still upset about the end of her inaugural date with a real live babyysitter yesterday afternoon. I didn't know whether to rejoice or be insulted by their fast and furious love affair. So...I tried to distract her with a little project. 

I've worn this skirt approximately no times since I sewed the tube so I chopped off the bottom third to let my waddlers breathe:
 and used the leftovers to make J a very crawl friendly little wrap skirt:
 with room to grow
 and then we both reprimanded Lucy for the 89th time that minute for pestering the neighbor dog, "Sugar" and Sugar's owner 
 who insists on high-pitched sternly yelling Sugar's name at all hours of the day and night

woe is ours, always. 

Have a nice Tuesday.

questions, capris and a mean green

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25 July 2011


This morning greeted me with a fire engine red diaper rash (Julia...not me, Simon or Lucy) and a slew of pressing questions:

1. Did Amazon do away with Amazon Mom? (or...the free two day shipping)?
I tried ordering a box of diapers recently and the shipping alone was going to be twenty pretty bones...really?

2. How much does one pay an experienced college age babysitter to watch a polite 10 month old and guard dog for 2.5 hours? I have never paid for such a service but after one OB appointment with Julia riding my neck while they merely listened to heart tones quickly measured my bump...I'm not about to endure an entire ultrasound ("just because we didn't see um..facial features or heart chambers in the first one...nothing to worry about"....right-o) this afternoon of letting J ride bareback once I have yet to find a neck saddle that doesn't chafe. I don't want to be cheap but also hope that the ultrasound price tag trumps that of the sitting.

a little guidance, por favor.

Well I guess a slew of two. 

wait..Julia just crawled in presenting one more:

3. I bought these thinking they would be long, modest shorts for her:

but they appear to be either too long or maybe some stylish 7/8 length pants?

If they are merely too small...she needs to move right on up to size 2T before her first birthday because 24 mos just isn't cutting the mustard any longer.

and another!

4. Do all Goodwill's host a direct pipeline from the Target clearance racks and I am the last dumdum to figure it out?

I'm pretty sure I struck platinum this past weekend in the baby and lady departments with tags still attached merchandise galoro....

among my loot was this green linen Merona sack dress:
but not just any

this emerald is Merona:
I know. I feel your beady pupils jealing.

Anyway...I obviously didn't have to do much other than take it in the tiniest of bits at the top (leaving ample bell room), give it a mediocre ironing and wrap my nicest elastic round the ribs:
Mass and maternity ready.
this screams, "illustration of mutual admiration, adoration and respect"

me thinks

how much lettuce do I give the sitter?


holy awful

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24 July 2011

I know...bad title. My other options were to go with either, "When Mass Attacks" or, "Nightmare at St. Mary Magdalen" and I thought this was the least blasphemous of the three. Maybe not.

If this blog were to be meaty enough to actually encompass any sort of specified theme it would probably be something like, "One bottle of whine with a dash of shoddy alterations" or maybe, "Goodwill maven's daughter was mistaken for a boy today...again" or "Complain, complain, indoor photo, outdoor photo, have a nice/tolerable/pleasant day". 

Well...we're going to stick the needle in the whine and complain vein for today's garbage as I recount last night's horror.
(fine, horror might be a bit of a stretch but let me have my 15 minutes of unadulterated sulk)

(this is long and boring...almost as bad as the cry it out post...maybe just skip and move onto something more breakfast)

As I'm sure I've mentioned about four times...Simon is at work this weekend and I think for the next million weekends as well. This simply means that the Goodwill down the street will be seeing a lot more of my puffy face and that I have to brave Mass alone at our cryroomless parish with the little terror tyrant while Simon will have to attend a late night Sunday Mass wayyyyyy past Julia's bedtime. (I know I baby at church should be a piece of breezy cake but Julia is strong and I am weak and containing her wailing and gnashing for an entire hour in one square foot is really difficult for the likes of my pathetic self)

I decided to be a little heathen and hit up a little Saturday evening Mass in order to take advantage of Julia's weirdly good mood. And to be honest I welcomed the thought of a small break from the endearing monotony of watching the shepherdess mind and annoy her lone sheep hour after hour:

So we put on our Sunday best, grabbed our stash of plastic rosaries and headed out the door. As soon as we walked in and took our backish row pew...I took note that we had missed the dress code memo which was: sweats, sweats and denim if you dared to be fancy and felt immediately like two hairy hammertoes on an otherwise pedicured foot in our dresses, heels and mascara. 

 [cut the baby thrashing and mom frown from yard and paste into pew for imagination's sake]

I won't singe your sockets with all the gruesome deets but basically the entirety of the hour was punctuated every 90 seconds by the lady sitting directly in front of us turning around and medium volumed whispering at Julia (doing her best vowel sound utters) to be quiet and "SHHHHHHHH!!!" complete with finger on mouth and eyebrow furrow. This amused Julia and encouraged her vowel sounds to move to shrieks and pew bangs and kicks which only exacerbated the lady's already sourpuss tude. I would like to mention that the offended feline was donning some heavy duty hearing aids and if Julia had understood English I would've definitely instructed her to reach over and swiftly turn them both to the off position. Call me heartless or hell is thee truth. I do have to say that Julia was content with her bottle during the in-ordinarily long homily about the case of the missing organ broker and the church's $29,000 that appears to be lost forever. She did redeem herself though when she entertained the children to our left with an ugly cacophony of gross from her diaper region which irritated their mom and turned my face bright red no fewer than three times during the consecration.  

Anyway, the final blessing was given and Mass came to a welcome end as I sat Julia sideways on my lap while I packed up her little rosary arsenal. I felt like I was getting out unscathed for the most part when a lady approached us from behind to tell me how much Julia admired her sparkly necklace when...."crack!!" I turned to see that Julia had fallen backwards and upside down from my lap throne and directly onto her head on the cold tile floor. Luckily I grabbed her right big toe before she completely collapsed into the folded kneeler but the damage had been done and poor Julia waited three long seconds before she let the longest and loudest permanent brain damaged scream loose.  I obviously felt horrible and was able to pacify her pain with the remnants of her bottle and we finally, finally stood up and started to make our way out of the church. Of course, as I reached down to grab our bag, I accidentally pinched the already wounded patient's toes in between my mammothy thorax and the side of the pew which understandably elicited another round of tears...but this time, embarrassingly, from both Patton parties. I booked it to the car where lucky Simon perfectly timed a phone call from his busy and crazy perch where I'm sure he enjoyed my exaggerated, tear-filled and irrational rant about never attending Mass again, him taking Julia to work tomorrow and [sniffle] exactly how dangerous is heavy drinking when pregnant?! (joke mini...calm down)

Of course, this is basically the end of the story and I'm not sure why I felt the need to type this all out and click "publish post" this morning. I guess the lesson learned here is to suck it up, Grace, and gird your wussy, wussy loins for next Sunday and the Sunday after that and the Sunday after that and so on. 

Amen and goodbye. 


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23 July 2011

A Saturday Post. Fancy Thancy.

In lieu of a litany of complaints about Simon's weekend work schedule I thought I would share a wide wealth of boring with you this morning...

1. This peanut butter chocolate chip cookie recipe. I've made and eaten them for dinner, second dinner and breakfast two days in a row and I highly recommend you make them and do the same. The recipe is super forgiving as I didn't even bother with measuring cups or spoons and the cookies still came out beautifully. I love for the comments following the posted recipes. They are generally helpful, sometimes nasty and occasionally you'll luck out and find A REALLY GREAT COMMENT IN ALL CAPS WITH NO PUNCTUATION AND YOU FEEL LIKE THE COMMENTER IS EITHER MONOTONE YELLING OR FEELS VERY STRONGLY ABOUT THE TWEAKS THEY MADE TO THE RECIPE...those are my favorite. 

2. If Simon and I were ever worried about Julia getting into trouble with boys...we can stop right about now because her two top front teeth are coming in to look just like mine did when I was 10 years old:
yes my two front teeth. 
luckily..not God given spacing but courtesy of a long, drawn out orthodontia plan that finally saw progress after six years, just in time for me to continue my very pretty and popular preteen and teenage streak

3. I just finished reading The Help (and is just morbid me or does the trailer seem way more lighthearted than the book read??) and am hoping to find a book with equal or greater likability and is actually available at the neighborhood libes. I found this nifty website (although it did recommend I read "My Antonio" so I'm not sure how accurate it might be) and am hoping it points me in a winning direction. You know I'll keep you posted.

4. And finally (for the grandparents)...Julia's two newest tricks:

playing possum in precarious places:

and scaling stairs:

I don't think I have to tell you which one I enjoy more...
 she is also getting really close to mastering the art of alliteration, almost.

I hope you are having a pleasant Saturday.

Maybe things will get nuts and I'll see you tomorrow as well...who knows.


dip dye

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22 July 2011

Good Morning to you and yours

Hopefully you have a nice weekend planned and waiting for you

This week, at Camp Patton pre-pre-preschool 
 (principal and sole pupil)
we learned how to dip dye shirts/onesies 
which is about as complicated as it sounds...dip in dye and done

I feel like a tube of Colgate or jug of Clorox though...which isn't quite the look I was going for:
  let me read your mind question:
Q: why does she have a bowl cut with attached tail cascading down her person?
A: good genes and a serious affinity for Davy Crockett

 (but I do have an appointment with a blindfolded Julia and a butcher knife this afternoon...
my weekly act of charity)

Teacher and lone student tried to get some decent photos together to showcase our masterpieces:
but no feigning happiness in this classroom
but I can't really blame her as she is being forced to wear a cotton candy colored unisex unitard

sorry little guy

and now I'm off to hunt and gather ingredients for either barbecue pizza or fake cheese nachos...I can't decide which. . .probably both

 Have a tolerable morning, afternoon, evening and night.


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