Theodore Turns One

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30 December 2013

Hey! I could've thrown one down for every month so .... count your blessings. And I picked the least bruisy photo for the tippy top ... I forgot how terrible he looked. Ouch.

Theo turns one today and oh I know it's cliché to say that it's cliché to say, "I can't believe it" but ... I can't. Julia and Sebastian's first years didn't seem to go sprinting by like Theo's did. Maybe it's because we really genuinely thought Julia was "such a good baby" and looking back on all the walks we took with an empty stroller and a stroller-hating Julia in Simon's arms or all the times I never ever ever ever left the house because oh! yes, of course she hated her car seat too ... I'm realizing she wasn't quite the little angel we had her pegged to be. Sebastian was an even happier baby but the adjustment from one to two kids was rough and rocky for me SO Theo wins best first year award. Applause, applause, applause in his direction.

He's a pretty happy kid, especially now that's he's mobile and has figured out exactly what to do to get a rise out of Julia which is to find one of her 89 purses stuffed with thee most random artifacts of crap and start emptying the Poppins one by one by one ... he's super happy. I really love how he lights up like a megawatt every time Simon comes home from work or whenever we go see Simon at the hospital. He knows the fun parent when he sees him.

I'm forever finaggling his nap schedule so that he still takes two naps a day BUT that his second nap always (always) coordinates with the older kids' naps and he's a great sport about the big monsters going to wake him up from his morning nap before he spoils his afternoon nap (I know! Never wake a sleeping baby and all of that but .... I hafta) stop it, Grace. Why am I typing about nap schedules? Stopping.

We had the pleasure of going over to a fellow resident's house on Christmas and they have the cutest little two month old lady baby and the second I picked her up Theo's formerly distracted antennae perked right up and he flew-crawled right on over to the mothership and let me know that no, that was not allowed. Rude awakenings to come, little dude. Real rude. 


We love you Theo!

And we know you love us too.

PS - Theo's birth novella ... if you dare.

to the best of the best

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28 December 2013

well, well, well ... what have we here?

*images super recycled so odds are good that you've seen them before. and beforer. what?! I have my hands full.

Happiest of 30th (!!!!) birthdays to Simon!!!! I don't know how he manages to work the craziest hours and come home to the craziest kids driving their crazy mom even crazier than her usual baseline of crazy all while not going crazy himself but .... he does.

You can't count on much around here but you can generally count on a nice birthday sleep-in and birthday breakfast in bed as residency hours allows but Theo foiled that plan loud and proud circa 5 in the am and Simon took it all in stride and waltzed straight to the basement to keep sleeping while Theo crawled around and provided a soothing soundtrack of whine. Thank you and I'm sorry, birthday boy. Or shall we say ... birthday man.

And some of my very favorite Simon Says ...

Kim Kardashian style ...

Last summer ...

Last spring ...

The kids promise to make the day extra special by opening all of your presents before you even touch them (check) and I promise to make the day extra special by overestimating how much french toast you'd like for breakfast and serving you 38,000 calories in one balanced meal (check check).

Happy Birthday!!

Your Very Favorite Family

took some time to celebrate

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26 December 2013

Every blogger has typed the old, "I wasn't going to do a post about xyz but then ... " and I'm just as guilty because I really wasn't going to do Christmas recap post but then I realized I had so many grainy quality cellular snaps from Simon's time off that I just couldn't not share some with my peoples. And it was either this or a heartfelt post about haircare products (tomorrow! I promise).

Hold on to your blinkers ...

technically right after Simon got off work Saturday morning. the weather was weirdly glorious so we grabbed our giddy children and set out to see the world ... three blocks to and from our house.

My grandma is thee gift giver extraordinaire. And I almost gave in and let her wear the getup this morning to buy diapers for the boys but ultimately mean mom got her way.

I really can't believe he'll be 1 next week but then I see photos like this and I start looking around for kindergarten waiting lists because he almost looks literate.

There are twelve different types of cars/trucks/tractors in Sebastian's crib right now and I know I should insist on a blank sleeping canvas but the extra hour of playtime tacked onto the beginning of his nap is just too good.

Theo be like, "wtf?! when do I get the obligatory but accidental homebrewed toddler bowl cut?!"

The day was great, the day was good, and we discovered that the kids will abide by a lengthy 10 minute timeout (as opposed to the spineless age appropriate 2 & 3 minute timeouts) if the punishment so fits the extra loud fighting crime. The kids were thrilled with their gifts and Simon and I discovered on Christmas eve that our hiding places for each other's gifts was one in the same: the minivan trunk SO ... surprises foiled? Maybe. But still .... there's no "present" in "Christmas" so ... moot point. I say. 

Simon read Jim Gaffigan's genius all day and then handed it off to me last night at which point I stayed up past midnight (and I turn pumpkiny around 9:30 so ... that Jim ... he funny and right on the lettuce) reading and reading and reading.

And now it's back to the old grind with Simon at work (or as Sebastian says over the course of 4 head nodds, "dah-dee wooking?" .... yes.) and me and the kids still at home and wondering how the mornings simultaneously drag and fly through so many messes and compromises and first + second + third breakfasts and resolves to fold laundry today and then resolves to fold laundry tomorrow and ...... you know. The gamut. 

But we have a great little staycation to look back on and a great appreciation for the holidays that Simon does have off because it hasn't always been that way and it won't always be this way. We are soooo in for it next year - and no one tell Julia the truth when Christmas is weirdly rescheduled under our roof for December 27th or something because I have a death glare and I'm not afraid to use it. On you. 

Anyway, crystal clear smiles and cheer for all.

stolen from the gram because it's a free world 
wide web.

next year will totally be the year we mail out tangible cards

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25 December 2013

... but in the mean time

We hope you have a very blessed Christmas and that you can find comfort and good cheer in the fact that this blog won't be signing off for a few days because we don't believe in rest for even the weariest of e-sharers.

And if you're looking to feel great about your Christmas eve festivities know that this family struck out at not one, not two, not three, but four closed fastish food eating establishments in search of a place to eat ye old traditional Christmas eve fare. (We came home and made one of the frozen pizzas reserved for fancier occasions and/or babysitters). But first we risked a Christmas eve Mass where we sat in front of a family whose children (graciously) joined ours in a rousing round of wailing and crying and gnashing of teeth on pews during 'Silent Night' and Theo happily yelled his first word: ho (x 3).

As far as our morning has gone ... Theo has died and gone to tissue paper and box heaven, Sebastian enthusiastically declared today to be Elmo's birthday, Julia is preparing for the great chapped lip apocalypse of 2014 by applying layer after layer after layer after layer after layer of Hello Kitty Chapstick, and Simon is in the middle of a busy day of silent laughing on the couch with Jim Gaffigan while I enlist his help to break up every other toddler slap fight over the favorite new toy of the minute.

Thank you for being the best readers a blogger could ask for. Without you? I'd probably still pound out my grocery store memoirs for the silent abyss but I love that you let me lull you to sleepy boredom on the daily.

Happy Christmas to you and you and you and yes, even YOU.

BREAKING: house mouse leaves house in housecoat

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23 December 2013

housecoat: A Pea in the Pod via thredUP
diaper bag: c/o Lina Jake
boots: c/o Joules
scarf: piece of fabric from Joann's that I should probably hem

Life in the fast lane goes a little like this: I went from being pretty staunchly opposed to diaper bags to all of a sudd being the proud owner of two. Next thing you know I'm going to have wipe warmers in every room of the house. No, but this is a gem of a bag from Lina Jake and I have a couple of teeny trips sans kids (never did I ever think it would happen) planned in the new year and you can bet all your lettuce that this bag is coming with me - diaperless. On top of the 20% off promotion they have going on they are offering an additional 20% off with the code: LINAJAKE20 + CAMPPATTON20.

I've really been making a concerted effort to get myself out of the rut I've fallen into with the legging/boot situation and so the other day I stuffed my flared yogas into my slipper boots (aka Uggs aka awful aka foot pillows aka judge up a storm) and ventured out into the wild public. I still think it may have been a step in the right direction.

I mentioned in a post a few weeks back that I've never owned a bathrobe and got an email from one of my best friends, Ruth: I have to take hot sec to gasp --bathrobes are a reason in and of themselves to get pregnant!! It's basically like wrapping up in a comfy house slippers. all winter. And then you need a light jersey one for after showers and summer.

Everyone should have a Ruth in their life. Really. Anyway, I do have a housecoat (pictured above) and I'm not as embarrassed as I should be that I wear that dandy all day every day. Mostly just in the house but it has seen the light of the public sphere. Lucky public. I normally think maternity cardigan type things are ridiculous because you can just rock a regular cardigan unbuttoned over the bump but this is totally maternity (and was free from thredUP because after I ordered it they claimed it had a snag -- that I have yet to find) and I will totally wear it postpartum and nopartum and I think that's all the partums.

I started this book a few days ago and it was a little slow to start but now I can't put it down unless all three kids are in absolute hysterics .... I can read right through the crescendo of cries. Maybe because the vast (vast!!!) majority of the interactions I have with my friends are via email and text (not that that's a good thing - it's just how it is) so I relate? I'm not sure but if you're looking for a quickish read ... jump on it.

Raise your hand if you still have a chunk of Christmas shopping to do. Good. Me too.

Raise your hand if you're sweating a little bit and hoping that Amazon delivers in a big way today and tomorrow. Gooder. ME TOO. 

Julia Styles

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19 December 2013

shirts & leggings: thredUP
shoes: eBay

Playing with the Etch-a-Sketch ...
Julia: Okay, mom. Let me draw a map of everysing you do
Grace: Okay, great.
Julia: So here is Starbocks, and here is Wendy's.
Julia: And here is Target, and here is Costco.
Julia: And that's it!! 

Playing with the Etch-a-Sketch at a different date ...
Julia: Can you guess what I'm drawing, Bash?
Bash: Julia?
Julia: Well that is a good guess because I am drawing something beautiful but ... it's not me.

Waking up to snow ...
Julia: Oh, good. I've been wanting to wear my swimsuit.

Watching Sebastian swat at a bottle of Excedrin on the counter ...
Julia: No, Bash.
Julia: Those will kell you.

Listening to Sebastian throw a tantrum in the car ...
Julia: That's fine Sebastian.
Sebastian: tantrum rages on
Julia: The cops will just pull us over and put you right in gel. 

Hearing "Oh Holy Night" on the radio for the first time this season ...
Julia: Is this the Chicken Dance song?
Grace: um, no.
Julia: Oh!! The Macarena, sorry.

After she took a tumble and fell flat on her back on the sidewalk at the hospital ..
Grace: Are you okay?
Julia: I'm fine
Grace: Okay good
Julia: Sometimes I just need to lay down for a minute

While putting up the Christmas tree ...
Julia: I just LOVE dickering for Christmas
Grace: Oh, decorating?
Julia: Yes! dickering. Dickering is my flavorite.

While checking out a preschool and chatting with one of the teachers ...
Teacher: And how old are you?
Julia: Forty.

all or nothing

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is as far as my blogging sentiments go tonight and I'm going to go with all ... for now.

We took the kids to the 20 week ultrasound on Monday because we hate everyone in my OB's office and wanted to ensure that at least a sliver of their afternoon was all misery and company loving. No, not the case at all because I love everyone in that office and the kids weren't as wall bouncy as they could've been considering that it was smack in the middle of sacred nap time.

the only thing to do in a non pediatric waiting room is blow your nose, throw away the soiled tissue, sit back down, and repeat. And so they did. 45 times in 4 minutes.

Sebastian dropped a computer mouse (not the be confused with the animal - which is why I included "computer") in the ultrasound room and said, "dammit!" and when Julia wasn't stroking my hand and asking me if I was okay (was fine 23 seconds ago, and am still fine - you sweet little projecting hypochondriac) she was telling the ultrasound tech (that scanned both boys! kind of fun) over and over and over exactly what she needed to do in the bathroom and that it was urgent and it had nothing to do with urine. It could've been worse. I think.

The baby is looking good. Definitely has a ladylike profile (right) and is growing like a weed. The awesome sonographer flipped on the 3D setting and it was neat to see ... a little creepy but ... neat.

Here is a fraction of the pictures we were given ...

stingy sonographer.

And I think I exceeded the acceptable word count limit for typing about ultrasounds - in the first half of the first sentence. We're all finished.

All of the cups in this house have a plastic toy ball or a tennis ball stuffed inside of them and I can't get any of them out. Sebastian is a man of few words but he is a man with a serious mission, "frustrate my parents at all times, even when I am sleeping." And he does. He so does.

And this is one of those weeks that will just be so wonderful when it's all over. My eyes are crispy from the gross lack of sleep (so I'm kind of loving that Julia's favorite game is slumber party where closed eyes are a serious requirement - I'm kind of not loving that she reprimands any eye opening by telling, "Chunky Bear" to get back to sleep ... we should probably rethink Theodore nicknames around here) and the kids schedules are jacked to the maximum and surprise!! I just don't handle the night floating well. C'est la most pathetic vie, Grace. I know.

the kids begged and begged and begged and begged to eat a candy cane and when they finally bit off the plastic and had a little taste? hated them and needed water e-mediately. My sympathies, smarties.

One of the perks of visiting Simon so much during these types of rotations is that Theo now consistently Pavlovs it the second we pull into the hospital parking lot and starts doing lots of limb shaking and fat smiling and looking for Simon. It's cute. And I think you'd think so too - even though you're not his former womb-home like this doter is. But I could be wrong.

bonafide crawler, finally. Maybe he'll be walking by the time the baby comes but let's not prematurely count our crazy chickens.

Ah and to top off this truly wild treat of a post let me tell you that after weeks of tireless Craigslist scouring we finally found a bed for Julia on Craigslist. Then we got it home and wondered why our house smelled like carcass. And then we realized that the former owner had clearly used the bed as a litter box for her cats. As Sebastian says in between every bite of every kind of food he consumes, "deeeee-wish-us." I'll keep you posted on further developments but please know that I am restraining myself from tossing the whole enchilada back in the cat lady's yard but I'm far too mature and lazy for that.

Okay. That'll do for now.

an array of random

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13 December 2013

Linking up with Jen!

Okay. I'm all over the place today. Let's go.

1. Remember Kris?

She was kind enough to share a post chronicling her experience with a very rare and serious form of cancer closely following the birth of her first daughter, Grace. She's doing well and just two months away from welcoming baby girl number two! I'm so happy for her. Anyway ... she's reopened her Etsy shop with an entirely different kind of jewelry and it is all so gorgeous and timeless. She's going to close up shop in a few days but I thought I'd share the link in case you have ladies left on your list or you're feeling selfish ...

Hop to

2. Blogs are a buzz buzz buzzing with gift guides this time of year and here are a few of my favorites ...

Hallie's gift guide for men (they really are so difficult to buy for ... especially Simon!!)

Kayla and Janssen's $5 and under gift guide (always love this)

shoot. I thought there was one more ... I'll add it if it comes to me. Or if you've seen an especially great one floating around? Tell me and I'll throw it up right quick.

3. If I were to craft a gift guide it would be terrible because I am the worst gift giver in the history of gifting. Worst. Anyway ... there would be two things on it.

This hat.

It's super duper cheap on Amazon and comes in a zillion colors and fits me and the kids and it's warm. And I don't even have Amazon Prime but they shipped (from California so ... not close) in two days. 

And a Baby Boo Bunnie Ice Pack . Or as it is known around here, "the boo boo bunny". I know, I know. But really ... how many times a day do your kids get "hurt" but they are totally fine but you are wrist deep in a diaper emergency or making second lunch for yourself or trying for the 899th time to take a shower where you don't even want to wash your hair ... just rinse off? It happens around here a lot. I just throw the Boo Boo Bunny their way and .... happy kids. Total placebo effect but it is a cold plastic block of frozen water wrapped in a soft cuddly bunny ... my aunt gave it to the kids this summer and it's just very necessary and beloved under our roof these days.

Sebastian opts to go sans bunny. I wish I could say this was staged but the super duper heavy blinds came out of the wall and fell down on him earlier - my faultish - really awful - he was brave - everyone is moving on. But not before he took the application of the cube very seriously.

4. Kelly wrote a SUPER helpful post all about Amazon and wishlists and she's just the smartest.

And the greatest.

I'm starting wishlists asap because whenever sweet family members ask for gift ideas for the kids I'm always like .... "uhhhhhhhh .... band-aids?" ... I never know. But now the wishlists will fill us all in.

5. I was realllllly trying to save Kate's engagement story as a reward for a good behavior (aka attitude) over this call weekend but I couldn't resist and totally read both parts.

She's the goodest writer. Go read it and love it as much as I did. And demand part III.

6. Let's type more about the good attitude I'm going to have about the weekend because then it will come to fruition and be a beautiful thing. Typing more. I'm trying not to think about the night float that is waiting on the other side of said weekend because then I'll be sprinting toward the depths of despair faster than you can tell me to shutupplease. Anyway, it'll be fine. We have yet to encounter a call weekend that has actually killed us so let's just meditate on that fact, put a daisy behind our ears, and stay alive. Badittude who?

7. So - like I told you yesterday - I returned to my pilates-esque balletish class last night and I was super dreading it but it was actually really great and the hour flew by and I can still walk today and hopefully Simon gets home early enough tomorrow that I can trot over again. I think think think I might finally be turning a pregnancy corner as I finally started practicing what I preach about vitamins and exercise during pregnancy and I'm feeling a lot better. Super tired and super puffy and super emo but ... not like death which is a really nice change of pace. Aren't you glad you know that now? I knew it.

And I guess that's it.

No it's not. Do you have any favorite not-quite-black-but-still-in-the-morbid-family nail polish colors? I'm almost out of my current favorite ... which is Revlon's Vixen (as seen on Sebastian) and thought I might switch it up a shade or two. THANKS.

little tiny bathroom facelift + un bump snap

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12 December 2013

This isn't really worth documenting but we don't really do home improvement projects ... ever so yes, it is worth documenting. I've mentioned before that the bathroom was a light shade of lime and it wasn't caps lock AWFUL but it was lower case awful. It has one of those blurry windows (can people see inside those? who knows) and is pretty dark so it was interesting to see how much darker the grey looked in a smaller and "darker" room - if that makes sense. It looks SO much better. And other than swapping out the lone nail that held some of my necklaces for a cheap eBay find (that Simon took one look at and told me he could've easily made .... oops), painting the walls, and hemming a piece of fabric and calling it a curtain ... I really didn't do anything. And yet still ... documentation. I want to find some white frames or something other than the awful black tri-frame with 18 month old photos but why is it that printing, framing, and hanging pictures is thee most difficult thing in the world for me? It just is.


Here we go with the before photos:

These pictures don't do the lime walls justice. So please imagine something limier. Thanks.

And the afters:

Most of my necklaces are in the guest room which is where no guests sleep (no bed) and all of my clothes live (it's just easier then heaving myself upstairs to change clothes + Simon is a closet hog, jk) and where Sebastian sleeps in a portacrib (but it's a realllly roomy portacrib!!!) - it's all very complicated around here. Anyway Sebastian is asleep right now so this is what I scrounged. Why am I typing this. Why do I have a blog.

The curtain is admittedly too dark. I had Julia with me at the fabric store and she assumed the quilting squares were little packs of underwear and was REALLY devastated to learn they weren't so I was distracted and made a hasty decision to the tune of her distress. Whatev. I'll call it eclectic chic. Or shit.

I included this to show the contrast between the grey wall and the white ceiling but I failed. It just looks a lot darker than the living room and now I am a person that really has a lot of thoughts on shades of grey paint so help me pathetic.

So that's that. My next venture is our attic suite. Not a suite - it's an attic but it's where we sleep. I'm working on Simon to let me spray paint our bedside tables gold. He is nawt exactly having it ... he'll come around. Just wait.

And the stars have finally aligned and I am returning to my little pilates/ballet (it's really hard, okay?) class tonight after a 4 month sabbatical (blaming night float, nausea, a 2 week long headache, and mostly laziness) and I just really want to wear a shirt that explains that I'm pregnant and not just 10 pounds heavier c/o a new found sedentary lifestyle .... although that's true too. Anyway -- bump photo. Or "boomp" as Julia says. 19.5 weeks (the .5 is very important!!!!!) ...

and 19 weeks with Theo. Yes, I'm bigger this time around. I really really thought both boys were definitely girls but I really think this one is a girl so let's see how wrong a mother's intuition can be. Again.

Oh and looking at the photo -- Julia decked my shirt with stickers. The life of a mother. It be oh so nutty.



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11 December 2013

blazer: American Eagle via thredUP
sweater: Style & Co. via thredUP
boots: Hunter via eBay
purse: c/o Caitlin

Ohhhhh look. Another leggings + boots + tunic sweater ensemble. Let's all clap it out for Grace's reliable predictability. I know. And it's not even Winter Proper yet. Silent scream.

The other day Simon laughed as he told me that he'd woken up on Sunday morning in the same inside out and backwards shirt he had worn all day Saturday. I didn't laugh because I do that all the time. I bet a lot of stay-at-homers do that too, right? I hope. If it's comfy and stretchy and suitable for sleeping ... why change, I say.  And then I sprinted out the door to Target about .00000001 seconds after Simon offered to watch the kids while I grabbed some dinner/cookie baking supplies. A trip to Target alone is one of the most serene experiences for me in my current life stage and again, I'm guessing I'm not alone. We moms know the alternative all too well that involves cherub lugging and appeasing and everythinging so even if Target is buzzing with all the holiday crazies - it still smells downright euphoric to a free bird flying. Anyway, it got me thinking about all the blessed ways in which I've become a little bit of a happy cliché of a mom. Let me pelt you with my thoughts ...

I drive a minivan and I don't like it. I love it.

It's habitual for my 4pm face to look identical to my 7am face. Like absolute hell.

I don't say, "going to the bathroom" ever. It's an automatic, "going potty" every single time.

I probably say, "I'm just really tired" to whomever will listen 99 times a day.

The mail? I check it eight seconds after the mailman has walked off the premises. And five times before - just in case.

As far as kids and their attire goes - I have a strict, "no stain - no change" policy that can last a scary number of consecutive day-night-day-night-day-night-I-can-keep-going-I-assure-you.

When the kids are awake the world is one mini tantrum away from crumbling into a million pieces and promptly ending. When the kids are asleep, yes of course this is the easiest job in the world.

I washed our cloth shower curtain liner a few weeks ago and have gone into the bathroom to admire my toil every single day since. Damn it feels good to be an efficient homemaker.

Every morning I make a nice cup of coffee. And every night Simon finds it sitting on the counter with exactly two sips gone.

Sometimes I wear my yogas and a hoodie and a puffy face to buy groceries because who really cares? And sometimes I wear a painted face, an outfit that's trying far too hard, and Saturday night in college hair to buy groceries because I do. 

I brown some meat, chop some tomatoes + avocados + onions, open a container of sour cream, a package of tortillas and a can of salsa and oh, look! It's gourmet taco Monday. Leftovers will follow for the next two nights if I can't stretch it to three (where we say hello to gourmet nachos).

Showers when I'm home alone with the kids: three minutes. Showers when Simon is home to watch the kids: twenty three minutes.

Blog posts start to sound vaguely familiar and annoyingly repetitive because they are. Almost exactly. 

And now I'm off to check the tangible snail and heat up the comida.
See ya.

Simon Says

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10 December 2013

While holding up an admittedly not adorable dress I thrifted for her recently ...
Julia: What dress is this?
Simon: That's the dress you wear when you don't want to make any friends

Noting my good mood and the new living room color the morning he came home from call Simon said, "ah - I see you painted the walls with Prozac."

After he retired into just shirt and boxers to lounge around the house after dinner and before I could say anything Simon said, "Don't give me that look. These are a man's yoga pants."

After I made acorn squash soup for dinner I found that someone had Googled, "acorn squash soup - edible?"

When I reported that Julia had dropped a really bad word bomb at the park, Simon said, "well it is called the mother tongue for a reason."

In the middle of yet another Julia-Sebastian-fight-from-yell-hell, Simon said, "I guarantee cats and dogs say, 'they fight like Julias and Sebastians!!' "

After a picture frame fell down in the middle of a night that Simon was at work and I was sure an intruder was finally going to kill me (until I got brave enough to go find said fallen frame), Simon said, "well your only hope for sleep now involves massive quantities of vodka and Ambien."

When he discovered that I'd purchased pumpkin seed tortilla chips instead of just ye old boring tortilla chips Simon (loudly) said, "expletive expletive EXPLETIVE expletive. More expletives. And a few more expletives."


After asking him a question that he didn't know the answer to he very seriously responded, "can't you just ask Tweeter?"

When Julia caught him eating some chocolate ...
Julia: what are you eating?
Simon: poop

"I'm just not used to the clamor"

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09 December 2013

... said Simon last night as he wrapped up an entire weekend at home (no hospital reprieve for the weary) and the kids shouted and sprinted circles around the house because .... welcome to winter.

(stolen from a dated Insta but I love it more with every passing day)

(the wall had totally peeled off due to a leaky window??? Simon fixed it right up like a boss. I thought we should hire someone but obviously I stand corrected until the end of time.)

Sometimes I daydream about the end of residency (18.65 months - no, I'm not counting ... I'm obsessing) and I think real hard about some aspects of these years that I'll miss.

And then I think harder.

I dig deep and with a little help from my inner Pollyanna I'm able to come up with a few things and one of them is how much we appreciate when Simon is home. Not that I'll never not appreciate him being home but as five motherhating weeks of night float loom in the very near future a weekend of no call felt downright glutinous. Glutinous? I'm keeping it.

We didn't do anything crazy but we (he) got a lot of house stuff done and we (he) decked the living room with our faux fir. Julia is really into Christmas and asks every five minutes if Santa is still in his chair at the mall (reason for the season, what?) and isn't our Christmas tree just so great/pretty/beautiful? So the ceremonial put together of the three piece pre-lit was especially enjoyable this year with narration by Julia, garbled parroting of her narration by Sebastian, and utter indifference by Theo.

Oh and we pulled out the nativity scene for the first time since our first married Christmas ...

This set had survived 20+ years and seven children under my parents roof but four years and only two showings under the care of the Pattons and we have a little something for your nightmares.

(They've since been super glued and you can't even tell, I promise.)

We have a lot of leftover paint from the living room and so Simon painted the bathroom at my request and we bid the happiest of farewells to the citrus walls and I sewed three different curtains (the first two being too short because me and measuring are a match made in Loveland) and really darkened the space up with my choice of navy fabric. I'll show you - look forward to that post coming live and direct sometime this year. Har har har.

Ah. The biggest news is that Theo is finally a mobile little human.

I am mostly anti-crawling because people tend to frown on children crawling around public arenas (hospitals, airports, parking lots - it's weird) and the second a baby discovers that he or she can crawl ... game over. So over. They want to crawl everywhere and eat all the cigarette butts at the park and make you look downright negligent. But Theo had become the most miserable little boy just sitting.

And sitting. And sitting. And he had resigned himself to happily sitting for a mere seven minutes a day (this blog is littered with exaggerations but seven minutes? seven minutes is not one of them) and then whine-crying until I held him all of his other waking hours and it was starting to thin my will to live. I even wrote a post about it but then he started crining and I never got it posted and no, I'm not rushing him because he is eleven months old and Sebastian was sprinting at this age and let the comparison games begin. They've begun. And you're behind, Theodore.

I can see the care written all over your mug.

But now he is doing the sitty scoot with a sprinkle of army crawl and he knows to head straight for the stairs and the bathroom whenever he is set loose and bring it on. Bring it all on.

So that was the weekend. Mostly.

And as a reward for skimming through all of that ... for any single readers (or not single - I still did my weekly laugh out loud during el clip) out there ... my boo Caitlin shot this my way earlier. Hilario. But she says it's the truth.

And these are grossly addicting. Don't make them. Just don't.


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