35 weeks

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30 May 2015

watch- via amazon
bag - c/o Lily Jade
glasses - ASOS


Another bumpdate, bebe. 

And lest I forget ... I was sure to do a bump clutch in every shot. I apologize, like always. 

And I'm actually 36 weeks along today but the internet here has a tendency to go into dial-up mode/speed when I crack open the laptop soo ... I'm a tiny bit behind. I can feel your care through the screen. 

Even Phoebe can't help but ignore my mammoth torso these days and does nothing but hit it really hard and attempt a loving bite when she's feeling extra affectionate. Julia keeps asking, "how many times until the baby comes? your tummy is SO HUGE" and Sebastian came at me with the hair cutting clippers last night and said he was going to just "saw that baby out" ... so I'd say everyone is nesting in their own adorable way. 

I feel mostly fine just really tired and really huge and the Target employee that gave me an up-down, opened her eyes nice and wide, and exclaimed, "I don't know how to deliver babies!!" reallllly helped to boost my preg esteem the other day. I hope she's happy. And that I don't see her at 39/40 weeks because I wouldn't want to scorch her poor corneas. 

I've been thinking that's it's nice that insurance companies provide breast pumps to moms these days but if they really wanted to make the gestators happy they would look into free ice machine rentals. You know the machines that make those perfect little round pellets (a la Sonic)? Yes, I wouldn't mind having one of those bad boys at my puffy fingertips at all times ... day and night. Non-caloric food for thought, healthcare industry.

That's all for now. 
Thank your lucky twinklers. 

bon voyage

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27 May 2015

or more like bon petite voyage a few miles down the road to our temporary abode.

{more about that later ... gotta keep you hungry for more mediocre}

But! I'll let you guess how many seconds it took for Sebastian to push that appliance dolly down and conveniently onto Theo (who was fine, just angry) ...

Fine, I'll tell you: one.

So I think last week and this week might just be one of those precious capsules of time that we just sort of lure into a dark and damp enclosure, quickly lock up and chuck the key forever. And ever. Everyone moves ... we aren't special. I just never ever want to do it again. Or I might be tempted into looking into these magical creatures I've heard so much about ... professional movers.

We hired one of our sitter's brothers for an hour to help with the dressers and couches but other than that ... Simon deserves an award. And many stiff drinks. And 18 holes of golf. Or maybe just nine ... let's not get too crazy.

Anyway, some highlights from the weekend ...

The kids are weirdly obsessed with this folding table + chairs but since we only have two chairs my little sweethearts go into crazed gladiator mode and fight to the almostdeath for a chair so the table and chairs usually stay hidden in a closet but they came out for the move and Theo woke up BRIGHT and EARLY to drape his blankie over the coveted treasure.

The other chair? At the foot of Julia's bed - under the covers.

Curious how you might go about raising generous and loving childrens? Just ask me.

unhappiest camper with the biggest hooves I've ever encountered on a 13-month-old (because I have a little anthropological study of 13-month-olds and their foot size running on the side, naturally). She insisted on putting Theo's shoes on the other day and ... they pretty much fit. Which is weird because she's such a tiny human. Our little Goliatha.

the kids playing in the hospital "porchyard" after Mass where we ate "pantcakes" ... according to Julia and I'll say it again! Any questions on childrearing ... please get in touch with me asap.

A magnet to call my very own.

this little piglet rarely leaves my side these days and is always quick to tell me that there are two babies inhabiting my person (using that exact verbage). Phoebe might be completely oblivious to her imminent dethroning but Wilbur no dummy.

Simon got a gift card to an incredible Italian restaurant (Charlie Gitto's - which I just discovered I've been mispronouncing forEVER) for Christmas from a group at the hospital his third year and so we lived it up the following August for our anniversary and I stilllll think about the food. So! For Christmas .... Simon surprised me with a gift card to be used the weekend he finished nights. Do you follow? Me neither. It was a real good time with some real good food. And our server gave us a free slice of cake to ensure that we really lived it up before we became parents. ;)

Not pictured: and lest I was even a tiny bit tempted to get emotional when we left the house ... a giant bee (technical name) flew down the front of my tent/dress right after I'd gotten in the van on Monday evening. Once I realized the imminent danger I was in ... I had no choice but to do the traditional, "dance and shriek like a lunatic in the driveway" until the bee made his/her way off of my person. Actual decades were shaved off my life.

FINE. One more picture + fun caption.

A wonder Simon didn't burn it down (his words) after we found out the final walk-thru was going to be a full day earlier than initially planned and the rush to get it fully emptied and cleaned was um, extra rushed. But .. it's done.

Just like this fiesta of a post.

Something less profound SOON. I pinky promise. X

the best day of them all

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22 May 2015

If you've been a longtime reader or made the unfortunate mistake of dipping back into the blog's archives you'll know that I will readily and heartily admit that I came into residency with my eyes tightly closed thinking they were wide open and it was an ugly tug-of-war as they two sort of figured out some sort of great compromise. The straw that broke my first year camel's back was night float. Night float was the two months a year (separate months, praise the sanity gods) that Simon was (you like that past tense?! ME TOO) gone from 5pm-8am and then slept during the day. Sounds not so bad, right? No. I didn't anticipate being able to not sleep ... at all. AT ALL. Only because I'm crazy and was sure a predator was ready to pounce and kill outside every window and door (security systems means nothing in the face of my logic, unfortunately). I'm a lot better now with the help of time (I went down to the basement after dark last night! Progress Patton) and Benadryl and I guess having "older" kids around? But looking back on the many months that I would repeatedly sleep 30-60 minutes a night only to wake up in time to greet another super lonely day/evening/night (especially when the kids were really little) ... those were NOT the happiest days. However! every year truly got a little easier and I have so much admiration, empathy, sympathy, and respect for parents who go it alone or have deployed spouses etc. I will forever be an infant in the face of your heroism ... truly. It's not easy. At all.

Anyway, Simon still has two call weekends and a month of surgery left to tackle before we move down to Tampa and he has to take his boards before he starts his fellowship July 1st BUT we've been talking about THIS particular day for a LONG time. We talked up having kegs and eggs and celebrating in relative style but the reality is that we're having hospital cafeteria sprinkle donuts and chocolate milk while frantically throwing things in boxes and let the kids do whatever the eff they want (within reason!!!).

Before you start getting your eyes all set to ROLL position over yet another ridiculous slideshow ... know that I could've gone with this terrible anthem but I did not. I was tempted because I'm the most melodramatic human of all time. I yam. No, instead I went with a song that features the line, "these are the nights that never die" .... seemed fitting. Except .... they DID.


And in case you're hungry for more celly, grainy goodness ... I'm not stingy ...

From last night's celebratory visit ... one, two, three, nope - NO smiles.

... this is like 1% better but, sold. I guess.

And I have to give a hearty shoutout to Simon's co-worker, Kira, who (while on nights herself!!!) gifted me with this pretty lady ...

... as a congratulatory token for surviving nights because she must be the most thoughtful human of all time. She included strict instructions to wait until after I'm done gestating to imbibe so I hope she's ready to split it with me in the hospital post-baby while she's on OR off the clock. I'm not picky. ;)

Happy freakin' weekend, bb.

because our house is one big clusterbox at the moment ...

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21 May 2015

... many, many boxes. And many things unboxed.

judging me so hard for the tsunami of tshit just out of the tshot.

are you sick of this move yet?

Me neither.


the moving truck comes tomorrow and then I'll shut up about it until the baby comes and then you've got a whole new overblogged headache on your hands. Pick your poison, kids.

Anyway, as much as I'd like to detail this last week's events in a lengthy diatribe regarding the near fatal migraine that was thee back and forth and back and forth and back and forth with our house buyers (miraculous agreement reached! only after a certain spouse of mine used up his lifetime quota of appropriately raised voice f-bombs, I assure you) along with allllll the repairmen and inspectors and surveyors and electricians and plumbers (or "the fixers" as Sebastian calls them) that were in and out of the house and had lots to say about: five (?!?!?!?!) kids, Florida ("be careful! my niece was eaten by a gator!!" one offered ... which we couldn't tell if that was a joke so things got somber and confusing for a second), our terrible packing methods, blah blah blah ...... but I won't. I will not.

The internet always comes to my rescue.

I'm not even KIND of in the market for a swimsuit at this particular moment in time but when I dip my toes into postpartum swimsuit shopping ... Shana and the gang have got me covered. Hopefully VERY covered. But, really ... they did a phenomenal job of addressing an impressive range of (many nursing friendly!) suits for all the body types, shapes, and sizes out there. And am I the only one that wants to be bff+e with Shana? Blog crush por vida.

Oh! And one of my other blog crushes, Fran, makes me want to reconsider adding white denim to my closet ... when the kids and their sticky hands are tucked safely in bed or .... far, far away.

In case you didn't see this floating around Facebook, Sweet Nell always hits the nail on the head .... a wise wife and mother that one.

Because we'll be living out of suitcases for the next several weeks - I get to pretend I'm super on top of life (lololololol) and already have my hospital bag all set to go. These are one of the first items that went in because they really are amazing as all 23894289347823947293472734 reviews praise them to be and they haven't flinched at my massive thorax one time this entire pregnancy. TROOPERS.

I also packed a few of these. I'm that confident in my gender prediction.

I'm determined not to drop the Father's Day ball (ahem, on behalf of our lazy children) this year and am patting myself on the belly for already ordering a batch of these along with putting something else together that (of course) I'll show you in detail SOON.

Did you watch The Bachelorette(s)? I haven't finished the second night but agree with the ick feeling sage Sharleen describes. Hopefully it's smoothish sailing from here on out.

And that's pretty much it. For now. I'm off to list some gently loved appliances on Craigslist and explain to a very concerned Julia for the 99th time that yes, her hoard of glorified trash will be making the move.


Simon Says

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19 May 2015

sweatshirt: c/o Emoi Emoi
pants + buttondown: JCrew/Factory
shoes: c/o Rack Room Shoes
shades: Amazon

Theo's brother beater: c/o Phoebe's dresser drawer
shoes: c/o Rack Room Shoes

After reading a pet-friendly rental house listing a few months ago and thinking out loud, Simon said, "well we don't have any pets but we will be moving in with a fully stocked zoo."

After claiming for YEARS that he could change ANY diaper with a maximum of two wipes Simon said, "well after this week of GI kid hell ... I have to admit that my lifetime wipe quota went way, way up."

While folding a load or 78 of long neglected laundry Simon asked me, "and do you want me to put your clothes away too or just put it all back in the dryer where it's normally kept?"

While watching the three older kids rough house, Simon said, "Theo's idea of wrestling is getting his ass beat."

While going through his (high school and college) clothing and deciding what to keep vs. what to donate ...
Grace: I think a good rule of thumb is to get rid of anything you haven't worn in a year
Simon: What about the rule of, "could potentially be worn in the next ten years" ?

While watching all the kids for two hours Simon texted, "lunch only took ten minutes - how is that possible?"

Regarding the boys' vastly different looks Simon said, "Sebastian got my rugged looks while Theo resembles more of a china doll."

Every single time a new Taylor Swift song comes out and he hears it on the radio for the first time ... he very genuinely asks, "the new Miley Cyrus single, right?"

After changing yet another diaper during the third round of what we {jokingly} suspected may have been Ebola {aka the stomach flu on very strong steroids} moved through all four of the kids three separate times Simon said, "it's been like an epic battle between the North and the South."

FOUR days after Princess Charlotte Elizabeth Diana was born I asked him if he'd heard that the baby finally had a name and Simon seriously said, "no, did she have a boy or a girl?"


While packing up my faux succulents Simon very seriously asked, "do you mind if I pack up these petunias?"

After I put Phoebe in what I thought was a very cute romper Simon said, "she looks like a 94 year old ready for her water aerobics class."

In response to my announcement that I generously did not eat any of his very favorite lime popsicles out of the freezer during my (still ongoing) pregnancy popsiclypse Simon said, "I believe you can go ahead and file that under 'sacrificial love'."

After I put on a maternity Maxi ...
Grace: does this look like a pioneer era nightgown?
Simon: well ...
Simon: is it??

worlds of fun

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18 May 2015

Part II of our trip to Kansas City! Where were we?!

Ah yes.

Worlds of Fun.

I was going to say literal worlds of fun but didn't want the literal definition snobs to come at me. So! figurative worlds of fun is more fitting (but less fun) I suppose.

But, really. Worlds of Fun was super fun and I didn't even ride any rides (shockingly - suppress that lol). We had a limited amount of post-nap/pre-dinner time but we made the most of it and even with the perfect Saturday afternoon weather we didn't have to wait in any lines in Planet Snoopy (the dedicated kid area).

I'm fairly certain that Julia died and ascended straight to heaven because the girl loves a good ride.

while the boys ...

didn't even dare risk riding so much as the merry-go-round.

No, Theo marched right up to the (very tame) kiddy "roller coaster" and got himself all set in one of the cars and insisted and insisted and insisted and insisted that he wanted to ride it with Simon and I'll spare you the after photos but .... he might have a touch of ride PTSD for years to come because he was not happy afterwards.

But Julia was unfazed and kept on keeping on ...

and the fiesta funions ...

did not.

Actually, Sebastian finally warmed to the idea of hitting up the race cars .... much to Julia's delight ...

.... but the thrill seeker couldn't ignore the siren song of a thrill for long ...

and then Sebastian caught the bug ...

and before we knew it ... someone had to up the ante and weaseled her way onto the coaster of doom ...

just kidding.

calm down.

Phoebe and I kept our own little excitement party alive with a lengthy trip to the very nice family center where there was a dedicated baby feeding room (not that anyone should ever feel that they can't nurse in public, of course!) with high chairs and rocking chairs and glorious air conditioning and private bathrooms outfitted with clean clean clean changing tables galore. Phoebadora (Simon's new nickname for her which makes sense because it's double the syllabic expenditure) was thrilled with the playroom where she could not stop staring at a gentleman who had worked himself into a frenzy over a reportedly stolen clip-on tail that he had purchased earlier in the day.

"nah brah, it's just a tail. and you're a human."

Checking out the exciting map while I staked out alllllll the different bathrooms on the premises.

Also, in case you didn't notice ... I'm learning to pick my parenting battles because ... socks and sandals a la Julia. Learning.

And lest you think Theo had no fun ... he was super happy to push Phoebadora around and there was a big tented playground where Simon took the older three for a lengthy number of minutes that he had to be dragged out of. Not pictured, I'm sorry.

We were then only about 25 minutes late meeting my brothers and one of their lady friends for some BBQ nevermind that they drove an hour+ to meet us from Atchison. Sorry boys!

But, we were worth the wait.

I'm sure.

(Theo's love language will forever be: getting his photo taken)

Anyway. All in all ... despite Phoebe's life-hating performance she put on in the car on the way home and the stomach bug from satan himself that we contracted the week following it was still a solid weekend that I wouldn't mind repeating once or twice or even thrice. And just as we're getting the hang of traveling as a family of six ... lucky number seven is about to hop (I almost said slide - you were spared) onto the scene. Hopefully he/she is up for a little adventure because we are obviously a family of Carmen Sandiegos in the making.


{big} mother's helpers

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15 May 2015

Talk to any mom and she'll have strong feelings about what she could and couldn't live without during the baby and toddler years and I'm no exception. I don't think a crib is essential for the first several months, I LOVE having a glider/rocker, and I'm a semi-recent diaper bag convert. Julia was my only pacifier lover, Sebastian was ready for a big boy bed really early on while Theo will probably be happy staying caged until high school, and Phoebe does full body twerks when it's time for her to retire for the night and she sets her happy eyes on her crib. Every kid is different, every mom is super different, but I don't imagine anyone would HATE any of the four following ... 
but I could be wrong ... there's a first time for everything. Exaggerated and obnoxious wink.

Here's a little breakdown of some gear I love AND that you could win ...

Babyletto Trapeze Glider  - I didn't know much when Julia was a newborn but I KNEW immediately that I wanted a glider. I needed one (no, I didn't - but I acted that way). And it really has proven to be one of our most used piece of "gear". We bought an ugly but functional glider and did many a middle-of-the-night glides with all four kids. It saw it's way to Goodwill several weeks ago after we ushered this pretty lady in. I love that it swivels and glides and isn't jerky like some of them can be and I love the simplicity of the design. I had big plans to sew a pillow cover for the lumbar (?) pillow but you know ... excuses. The giveaway winner will win an identical glider, baby.

Ava 3-in-1 Crib by Delta - Phoebe finally graduated out of a portable crib and into this white beauty a couple weeks ago and I already have plans to buy another one (or maybe two ... ) once we are moved because it's a great, great value for the price and I love the aesthetic and that it's lower to the ground so getting kids out of their cage isn't an elaborate workout (and middle of the night diaper changes are SO much easier). The winner will win this very crib so we can be crib twins. Get excited.

Crib sheet from Little Wife Power House - Jen has the best eye for nursery design {see sheet above}. The best. Nothing is too cutesy and the vast majority of her inventory is totally gender neutral (helllllo Boppy covers!!) and works beautifully in a variety of different design environments. And I love to support other moms (she's pregnant with #3!). She's always outdoing herself with new and unique designs ... LWPH fan 4 lyfe. The giveaway winner will win a crib sheet of their choosing!

{Phoebe loves to perch herself on Julia's bed and just wait and wait and wait for the dragon to notice and come alive}

Lily Jade Designer Diaper Bag - I've only blogged about my love for Lily Jade 99 times before so let's just make it 100. They recently released some of their bags in new colors and I'm normally not a black bag person ... I loved the look of the gold and black on the Elizabeth and love it even more in person. It easily fits my laptop along with ALL the kids' "necessities" and recently fell victim to a truly terrible stomach bug situation but it wiped RIGHT off ... thank you leather gods. The winner will get to choose any Lily Jade bag they fancy!

You know what to do. And may the mom that loves their kids the MOST ... win.


a Rafflecopter giveaway

33 weeks

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14 May 2015

tunic + kimono c/o Pink Blush
denim - Target

Growing right along {I say that at some point in a post every pregnancy ... the depths of my creativity are endless} at 33 weeks and 5 days because every hour counts at this point.

I feel like this post could read two very different ways because some days I start dreaming up elaborate holsters to wear on my person to tote around my Tums and I get winded just thinking about walking down the stairs to switch the laundry and I just KNOW that today will be the day that my glorified spandex that I call maternity jeans laugh in my face when I try to paint them on yet again. But other days I'm totally fine and almost (ha! that's a fat almost) forget I'm pregnant and am happy to tote Phoebe around as much as her little highness desires and does anyone really care? No.

Let's make up some questions ...

are we settled on names? NO. No. Simon says we are "narrowed down enough" to just decide on the way to the hospital but ... I disagree and have the lengthy LENGTHY lists of names saved on my phone to prove it. So, hopefully he plans on taking the long way to Labor and Delivery.

has this pregnancy been noticeable different from the other four? I know every mom says that their in utero babe is very active but I specifically remember noting how lazy Phoebe was so maybe it just seems like this baby is extra kicky but ... I do wonder if and when he/she sleeps because they have a lot of energy to exert. All the time. This is the only reason I think it could potentially maybe (just maybe!) be a boy because I remember Sebastian was the same way.

biggest cravings? (really reaching here! I'm sorry) it varies by the day but spicy food always sounds good. Always. And popsicles ... I've resorted to sneak-eating them in the bathroom when the kids are awake because I'm selfish.

will Simon deliver the baby? No. No, no no no. I have my own OB that I really, really like and while some wives like their husbands to catch their offspring I am not one of them. Is it nice to know I won't have to have a resident that I know personally (I really love all the residents Simon works with but ... I'm not in love with a male swooping in ... and I realize this makes me a huge hypocrite) come in if the baby precips (it won't .... Phoebe and Theo paved that stubborn way) and Simon can do the honors if he needs to? Of course.

how old will the baby be when we move? Young. Probably around a week old. I'll fly down with the baby and Julia while Simon will drive with the middle three kids (his choice!) ... please pray for him because I think he is insane but he insists, "it will be fine" ..... (okay). We are moving to an apartment for a month starting the week after next (yay, double move) BUT it's really nice to be in the thick of packing the bulk of our stuff now when I'm 34/35 weeks along (to go into storage down in Tampa) vs. at 39/40 weeks or with a newborn. Are you resting easy that you know our summer itinerary and writing this down in your calendar? I hope so.

Oh my gosh ... how's your siesta? This is getting DRY. You deserve better. I'll just have to try harder tomorrow when you get an exciting 33 week + 6 day bumpdate.


Just kidding.

Or am I?

and now for ... a familymoon.

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12 May 2015

say QUE?!

First you had your neighborhood scouting moon and then you had your house hunting moon and now you're saying you went on a familymoon too?!

We did. Those Pattons the moon hounds. That's us.

So, as promised ... a bevy of words and photos and more words about said familymoon in Kansas City.

But first ... I have to give a little background! Yay.

Simon attended his first two years of med school in Kansas City before we moved to Wichita for his second and final two years. Right after we got engaged before his second year I found a teeny tiny impossibly cheap apartment down the street from Simon's house that smelled like curry and cigarettes (hence the happy price tag) by the med center, landed a job 70 miles away in Topeka, and lived a nice little engaged life in KC while he studied and studied and I commuted and commuted. Aren't you glad I gave you that history lesson? I thought so. No, my point is that we have a lot of fond memories in Kansas City and always want to stop and see our old haunts with the kids on the way to visit Simon's family in Wichita but we've never been able to make it happen .... UNTIL NOW. 

Trumpets. Bright colored banners.

Visit KC invited us to take a mini vacation over the weekend in Kansas City and we were so happy the timing worked out before I was too pregnant to fit in the van with the rest of the family and before we moved. Not that we should've by now (at all) but we've never taken a "vacation" that wasn't to visit family or tagging along with Simon to one of his conferences so this felt bizarrely grown up and somewhat foreign but I'm not complaining because the kids l-o-v-e-d it.

We drove up Friday and randomly heard this song on the radio so surely .... it was fate? Surely. Anyway, after getting settled into our hotel suite at the Westin Crown Center (we are now ruined forever and ever and ever ... having two rooms completely changed the quality of the sleep situation for the much, much, much better) and giving the kids much-needed naps we headed across the street (no driving! thank you kid-friendly gods!) to Sea Life.

To be perfectly honest I think the kids would've been happy with the display tank in the lobby but we pressed on and went through the (mostly empty! we went sort of late around 7pm) entire aquarium.

Sebastian claimed to have found a "fish made of broccoli",

Phoebe couldn't have cared less, and Theo has now requested a similar sandbox in his future Florida quarters ...

... and when we asked the kids what their favorite part was after we left Sebastian happily exclaimed, "the WHALES!!!"

(no whales, only their fun-loving cousin ... the shark)

Onto dinner! Aside from our road trip pit stops and the hospital cafeteria we don't take the kids out to eat (um ... ever) for every obvious reason under the sun so I was mildly apprehensive about going to a sit down restaurant but Fritz's Railroad Cafe back over at Crown Center delivered the food via train ...

which Sebastian thought was just awful ...

Stop judging ...

... it's just Diet Coke with an extra three shots of caffeine. That's all.

The food came super fast and the baby really appreciated my Oreo Sundae that I super reluctantly ordered for dessert.

The next morning we headed across the street (by foot, again!) to run around the courtyard full of fountains ...

and eventually Legoland Discovery Center which almost sent Sebastian into overly excited cardiac arrest. He'd been studying the website all week and could hardly believe we were actually there in the flesh. There was a happy mix of (tame) rides, hands-on exhibits, and a huge indoor playground full of big (soft) lego blocks where I'm certain Julia would still be camped if we hadn't insist that we leave with her cruel family. They had kiddy pool sized vats of Duplos which suited Phoebe just fine ...

... while Simon the fun parent Patton built complicated little cars with the boys to send sailing down the ramps they had set up.

Because you have to make reservations for Legoland Discovery Center Simon was nervous that it would be a total zoo (he is a well known hater of lines) but it wasn't too crowded at all for a Saturday and if I had to do it again I would dedicate far more than two hours to the excursion. Lesson learned!

And then we had lunch at the Crayola Cafe at Crown Center where once again, the service was fast, the kids happy to sit and color and not share a bunch of broken crayons like at home (sue me), and I'm still regretting not just going for it a la dessert round two. I'll live. I think.

And just when you thought your day's luck had run out I have to go and tell you that I'm going to go ahead and throw a cliffhanger at you because round two .... it'll come at a (not that much) later date. What will we do next?! What will we eat?! How many hours will the kids nap? Will someone throw up?! Multiple times?!

All that and more .... next time.

Next time, patient people.

(And now that we're feeling stupidly brave .... I'd love to hear your family vacation destinations of choice. Looking back at my childhood .... my parents were very, very brave souls taking young kids camping at Yellowstone ... so maybe something with a little more electricty? Thanks.)


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