geriatric class

02 September 2011

I think I will hit my true stride in life when I hit the geriatric stage and age. I always know the current forecast (100 today, 98 tomorrow, 88 the next day..currently 78 degrees with no chance of precipitation) and if ever an awkward pause stunts a conversation I'm sure to broach said forecast with great interest and fervor. I won't glaze your irises with the arsenal of medicines I throwback every evening, noon and morning but Simon dedicated an entire bathroom closet shelf to the storage of my vitamins and various elixirs and even separated them according to pregnancy-safe and pregnancy-nope. When fiber chews came out in gummy form I knew the vitamin gods were smiling bright and wide down on my aged soul. I am incapable of sleeping in, notice when the mailman is even five minutes tardy with our weekly ads and coupons, always drive with my hands at 11 and 1 and am always sure to bump a little Lady Gags when I'm out and about in my whip andddddddd what is my point? None.
Just a little observashe and waste of your 19 seconds. 

Last night I pathetically decided to not even try to make dinner one handed with the super glued diaperbottom at my side even though I had set my sights low on the goal pole with the old 'breakfast for dinner' trick.  I wanted out of the house and Simon kindly obliged with a trip out and about for wipers and dipes ... and then on a quest for some food fuel. Julia was in decent spirits but fading fast and Simon was wearing workout apparel only fit for certain eating establishments such as McDonalds and McDonalds. As we thought about our options in the semi-new-to-us-city Simon seriously suggested the mall food court. . .and I seriously considered the pathetically viable option.
oh dear. 
Class...come find us!
We made a wrong turn somewhere at the crossroads of low and brow.
Next thing you know we'll be taking black and white maternity photos of Simon's hands on my bell framing my button with the shape of a heart
or something equally as awf
polite laugh
double cringe cringe

I hope you enjoy your holiday weekend.
have a hamburger or ten for me and Julia...we'll be here just clinging and trying out a new diet of Rice Dream, Crystal Light and hot dogs.

happy laboring.


  1. Yeah, the cling is a bummer. Seriously. I tell my husband I might be more interested in cooking if children weren't always climbing up my legs. True story.

  2. Haha! So did you end up at the mall food court and if so, what did you decide? So many choices! Chinese, pizza, taco bell.. you can't leave us hanging! ha :)

  3. Hahaha! You crack me up! I do breakfast for dinner like once a week. lol And I don't know how often I've used the excuse that I need to run out for diapers, just to get out of the house!

    I think the clingy baby thing is a first child syndrome. lol My Little Guy was like that and is STILL so much needier than my one-year old!

  4. Bwahahaha! Too funny! Too close to home too. I can't tell you how many times Dev and I have been somewhere and looked at each other and asked, "When and how did we become "THOSE" people?!" Hahahaha! Sigh. I hope y'all have a fab weekend!
    (And I think that pic IS cute. So there.)

  5. You've just got to love awkward maternity pictures. I must say that yours is frame worthy...espesh with your hand holding up Julia's bottle! You're such a multi tasker!

  6. if u take an awkward pregnancy photo like that (hands in heart on belly), i will severely judge you. SEVERELY.



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