22 November 2011

 {irrelevant to post content but this is an hourly occurrence - I think she has only successfully semi-smothered him twice}

I'm trying to get Sebastian on some semblance of an eating/sleeping schedule. 

Laugh laugh. 

The kid would eat 24/7/52/365 if that were an option ... which has kind of been the case these past few weeks. This permalatch 'schedule' worked out fine while Simon's mom/my mom/Jessica were here because they could attend to Julia's needs while Sebastian drained all the milk, marrow and (fingers crossed) cellulite out of my person, but now that I am staring a lot of Hans Solo weeks in the face with Simon's utterly wretched sched ... the time has come to wean the monster from his luxurious little lifestyle to which he has grown painfully accustomed. I have gotten really good at tending to the necessities while nursing (blogging, clipping and painting my nails, making coffee, pouring wine, cutting chicken nuggets with scissors, texting smoke signals to Simon and of course - driving) but I accidentally bashed Sebastian's suckling head against Julia's I-just-woke-up-from-a-nap-and-am-in-a-rottttten-mood bedhead after clumsily lifting her from her crib which resulted in a marathon screaming session from both hurt parties so .... schedule be mine!!!

I don't realllly mind the all night on and off feedings but the other night he latched on and I watched in horror as he did not stop furiously eating for nine (9) hours s-t-r-a-i-g-h-t (6:15 p.m. - 3:15 a.m. hell). When I detached the monster ... blooood curdling screams would follow ... which are most definitely not conducive to a peacefully sleeping tyrant toddler downstairs.  If our neighborhood Target or grocery store or any store had been open for business at 3 am and was stocked with formula ... I would most definitely have waltzed in ... with Sebastian attached and all ... purchased a case of the magic powder and chucked it and the babe at Simon while running for the guestroom (has a door lock).

I read Baby Wise when Julia was little and I remember the method (nothing crazy...just the usual eat, wake, sleep ... space feeding 2.5-3 hours apart) kind of working for a little bit so I'm giving that method a go. So far it hasn't carved out any free time for me/more attention time for Julia because his 'wake' time is spent crying, being bounced and coddled and force fed the purple pacifier (don't even mention the c for colic word because you might get killed by the nastiest look I shoot you pee-ronto). The nights have only procured a couple of 4-6 hour stretches of a blissfully babyless bed but nothing truly consistent to celebrate.

I've heard seven too many times..."and then he/she/angel just started sleeping through the night at one/two/three weeks old! so crazy!" 

that's nice.

You must be a wizard parent with an alien child because I'm just a human parent and both of my human childs never did that ... even at six/seven/eight/nine months of age. 

so crazy.


  1. damn girl, I feel you. My little didn't start that whole sleeping through the night thing until after he'd weaned at a year, and after a weekend at Grandma's. Don't know what she did to him, don't care, just wish I'd dropped him off 14 months earlier...

  2. Hearing stories like this make me feel a little better about the fact that my preemie twins never latched. I wish you much luck in the coming days.

    On the topic of sleeping through the night: I often wanted to punch people who told me of their super-sleeping kids. My daughters didn't give up the middle of the night feeding until 10 1/2 months. However, at 18 months, they are now wonderful sleepers, so just remember that things may get better.

  3. I have a feeling Annabelle will wake more often than the new babe come April.. she is still up every two hours, if that makes you feel any better.. if not, at least you know you can text me at any given hour of the night and I too will be up. :( Is it too young to start him on a benadryl diet at night.. I kid I kid.kinda.

  4. haha the above comment made me laugh b/c i give gabe & claire melatonin whenever needed (pediatrician approved! husband deployed! sanity needed!) noooo shame.

    good luck w/the scheduling. i wish someone would give me a daily schedule for 'big' kids, because i feel like at 1 1/2 and 3 our life is still chaotic ohhh about 90% of the time.

  5. Oh I feel for you. LE doesn't sleep but there is only one of her. She wants to nurse every 3-4 hours, like a wee baby. I finally realized TODAY that she's probably legitimately thirsty, cause she doesn't really drink anything else.

    With both boys I reached a day where I just could not take it one more night, and like magic, they each dropped one feed. It still wasn't all night, but it was a meeeeeelllllllion times better.

  6. You may be inadvertently convincing me that my husband is right and mayyyyybbbbeeee we can wait until our son is about 5 to have our next. I feel for you. Liam (son) didn't start sleeping through the night until about 8 months. I wanted to smack people who said theirs did in month one. Sorry my child is normal/a well-trained torturer, okay?

  7. wow, you just brought back those memories of me being a constant milk machine/human pacifier. I felt like the first couple of months they were somehow permanently attached to my bosom. And for some reason they never spaced their feedings further apart (the longest was 3 hours)... even after solid foods were added. Eventually they started sleeping through the night and I somehow very miraculously got them to nap around the same time... for a of couple months. Nap time is all messed up right now so I'm pretty much slowly losing any sanity that I once had. I hope you can find a sched that will work for you. even if it's eat, play, eat, nap, eat, nap, eat, play, eat, sleep. (That was once mine... subtract some naps from that for present day.)

  8. Oh colic, blah. We diagnosed (because who needs doctors?) Alexis with it because she is a VERY fussy baby, especially right about the time every night that we decide to go to bed. She is very gassy so I think she really is in pain a lot which I feel bad about, but we could really use some sleep. She also won't sleep at night without being held, during the day she can be put down and sleep for hours, but not at night! Here's hoping it gets better soon for both of us :)

  9. Grace, do you have alot of milk? Maybe hes children would of starved themselves before they would accept 1/4 formula 3/4 breastmilk bottle (no im not kidding) but my milk always engorged and overflowed into the soaked breast pads between feedings. But thats miserable! Hang in there:)!

  10. GOOD LUCK! really i have no advice tho...i have no idea what goes on here.

  11. Oh wow! Hopefully you'll be able to figure something out. I can't believe he can eat for that long! Your poor breast.

  12. Anna would STILL stay latched for 9-1000000 hours straight through the night if I let her (still do sometimes, I know...not good, but oh well). Solution? Words with friends from 12M-7AM with friends who were insomniacs either by choice or force. My vocabulary has strangely decreased, but hey, it keeps my mind from wandering into the imaginary (real) worry world where I never sleep again.

    To balance out the non-hope I just gave you, Anna was (is) possibly addicted to little tummies gripe water and gas relief drops (I don't know if I'm supposed to be admitting that, but I was desperate and that miracle stuff really, really helped her calm down).

    And I am "Boose" on words with friends :)

  13. All I have to say is... HIL.ARIOUS!!

    I have no nursing/parenting advice for you. But I do marvel in your ability to clip and paint your nails while nursery.

  14. I try very hard to avoid conversations with friends whose kids "just slept great on their own!". I generally feel the need to go to confession after those kinds of conversations.
    Bernadette was up @10:30, 12:30, 4:30 and then for good @ 5:45 and she is 13 something months old. Babies seriously need to get a clue. I am with you on this in spirit.
    Have you tried "gum drop" pacifiers? They SAVED me with B- they sell them @ walmart and they are awesome. God speed!!!

  15. Funny, Dev and I just had a conversation last night about not believing those people who say that their babies sleep through the night any time through the first year. I am paaaaraaaaaaaayyyyyyhheeeeeinnng that baby girl decides to make us believe. (We did babywise with both boys too, and either I am a major screw up, or some kids just do their own thing regardless. Could be either way.)
    Anyhow, good luck! I hope he starts taking a paci better soon!

  16. My son is 15 months and still wakes up for a 3 am feeding. Not fun.

  17. I hope you are getting more rest :) My 23 month old is still nursing all night...does that help you? lol. My daughter did the same. So your kids are not behind. Life is full of trade offs. I do it for the kid spacing....I've had exactly 4 periods in almost 6 years. But during that time I've pretty much been a human pacifier/baby incubator/or sometimes both. I think sleep is the hardest thing about parenting, no question.



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