Stand up so your stage mother can take a picture.
Before he kindly joined me for my nightly big bad 10 minute workout and seeing that we would be doing the "Rock Hard Abs" segment Simon said, "I think something more along the lines of 'soft and cuddly belly' would be more my speed if you don't mind."
And after a few minutes of listening to and watching the instructor that could breathe life into gum on a sidewalk with all of her encouraging praise, enthusiastic cheering, and never ending zillion watt smile Simon said, "she is so condescending."
While we were driving home from a date sans kids and discussing exactly how long the sitter had been watching the kids, "I would imagine it may have been the longest three hours of her whole entire life."
Directly after witnessing one of Julia's uglier I-just-woke-up-everyone-die-now moods this morning Simon asked, "do you think maybe we'll start loving her when she turns ten?"
While discovering and looking through my Instagram feed for the first time ever, "I cannot believe you deem these things shareworthy."
In the middle of a little chat about how we tend to deal with Julia's nonsense differently, "We have different parenting philosophies which is just a polite way of saying that I am the better parent."