Major (minor) Injury

13 August 2012

Are you in the mood for some dramatic reading?

Perfect. I'll deliver.

We'll call this photo "B.C." (before catastrophe). A not clingy and mostly happy Julia. I miss her.

Saturday afternoon after I insisted numerous times that Julia could totally navigate stairs and that no one needed to worry about Julia on the stairs and that Julia climbs up and down our two sets of stairs at home all the time and that she was totally fine ON STAIRS .. Julia fell down the stairs at my aunt's house. She only fell down a few stairs and seemed stunned and cried like a normal toddler and her mouth started bleeding a little bit which didn't alarm me until she had a blood beard that wouldn't quit even after repeated face washing and pressure putting on the yet-to-be-seen war wound.

I'll skip the gore because it pains me and makes me physically cringe to even think about it because I am a squeamish bebe but after a thorough exam by my aunt's husband (a dentist sent from the heavens above) she was diagnosed with: front tooth hole puncture under her lip. Prognosis: very good. Julia may have been the victim but I started sweating and getting dizzy because, again, I epitomize squeamish infant at the sight/thought of blood.  It was terrible and for once in Julia's melodramatic little life I think her hysterics were probably justified because even when I tried to pretend to know what in the hell I was doing in the mothering/nursing/comforting department and forced her usual bff+e bottle of watered down almond milk down her throat -- the milk would just seep out through the hole down her chin. Did I mention it was terrible?

Steve (angel dentist) advised against taking her in for a stitch or stitches for numerous reasons and Simon agreed and to be perfectly honest the thought of waiting in an ER waiting room (worst) and then pinning her down unnecessarily for a not insignificant amount of time sent me into a cowardly tizzy of "thanks but never. ever." So we went the liquid bandage route (disguised as lip gloss -- toddlers are so gullible) which sealed the hole shut and she was able to resume her liquid (laced with toddler safe pain reliever) guzzling which quelled her cries (g for gargantuan victorious relief) enough to give us both 5-10 minute breaks (which my made my heart sing the happiest song) from the sad.

I'll admit she has gotten to watch A LOT of Dora these past 36 hours but I can't even birth a human without demanding pain meds stat stat stat so I'm sure I would be dealing with a hole in my face much worse than our little patient has been doing. Or I'm just a pushover practicing poor parenting. Whatev.

Anyway, in case you were worried: she is going to live! I think my life expectancy plummeted a significant amount yesterday and probably last night when she woke up seven (I counted because I'm selfish) times complaining about her 'boobie' (advanced vocab training incarnate) and wanting to 'hold you' and I think I spotted a few greys at my temples today but we're physically and emotionally on the mend.

Clara Barton out in the field.

Please pray that my children never actually get hurt or sick because if this post (and the few frantic SOS emails/texts/smoke signals I shipped regarding the injury) is any indicator you know that I would be starting a whole new dedicated blog and penning a no-selling novel in the face of genuine and justifiable worry.

18 comments:

  1. How toddlers manage to hurt themselves under the safest of circumstances I'll never know. While I was reading this, my coordinated daughter fell over while standing still. She wasn't running or walking...just fell over and hurt herself. Yesterday she fell off something else and caused a fairly severe-vampire-double puncture to her tongue, which is now on the mend.

    It's making me tired. But, I'm glad Julio's feeling better and it wasn't any worse. I'm thinking these kids should be able to walk and chew gum at the same time, by the time they're ready to head to college.

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  2. Poor, poor Julia. Sorry your nerves are shot, but an eternal thank your for the liquid bandage disguised as lipgloss tip... I will tuck that safely in my back pocket for whenever it is I have a kiddo.

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  3. "Boobie". Love it.

    My daughter ran into a doorjam while creeping on her stomach and gave herself a loose tooth and a blood bath. I don't know how anyone can creep fast and hard enough to cause actual tissue damage on impact. Now I can add front tooth hole punctures of the lip to the other hypochondria-by-proxy list of worries I have, like subdural hæmatomas.

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  4. oh my gosh. so scary! evangeline fell down 2-3 steps over the weekend. christopher was coaxing her up (without my knowing) and the next thing you know i hear a boom and screaming. the fear is the worst part!!

    glad she is okay! two things i would suggest to avoid the ER is an urgent care center. they can do stitches (i know from experience, ugh) and prescribe meds (for only your regular co-pay) and the wait is much quicker than the ER! i also have the itriage app on my phone which pulls up centers, hospitals, phone numbers, etc for emergency. it was fantastic when christopher got a 103 fever on our trip to the shore and i had no idea where to go.

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  5. My poor little munchkin! Aww, I feel so bad for her. And for you! When do you head home? Did you already?

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  6. Awww, poor little J! Give her our love! Hope she feels better soon!

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  7. When babies have bleeding faces, moms are required to freak the eff out. It's in the manual!

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  8. I was mortified for you and poor J through this whole post until I got to the "boobie" part, which made me LOL at work (yes I read at work) and everyone turned to stare at me. Milk THROUGH the hole in her face?! Ack! Where do we get this liquid bandage you speak of? Must. Purchase.

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  9. Ok - so here's where I argue your claim that you would like more boys.....! With 4 boys, I feel like I've earned the frequent flyer card to the children's hospital ER. We have had so many stitches/staples/glue that frankly, if they would just give me the stuff to keep at my house, we would save everyone a whole lot of trouble. I seriously could do it myself at this point. Steri-strips (what they put over cuts that don't need stitching) live in my medicine cabinet alongside large bandaids and a vat of neosporin. Blood has ceased to alarm me. And in case you think I am not sympatico with you, two summers ago, my now 13 year old fell off an inner tube being pulled behind my friend's boat (because he was too "manly" to let go when he started to slide off) and punctured a hole in the side of his cheek with his eye tooth, which is slightly in the wrong place (and currently being fixed by braces). Nasty all around. Big hole. Still has a scar. Wait until Sebastian starts walking. Brace yourself.

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  10. Poor baby. I don't know how parents with kids that are sick "for real" do it. I'm glad she is on the mend and that she won't have to drink through a straw the rest of her life! Boo. No. Good. And Go Dora go!, Oh wait, that's Diego, either way, thank God for them both!

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  11. This post made me watch B like a hawk while she was on the stairs today-- I would have been freaking out, I am the worst with blood and bleeding and anything in that vicinity. Kudos for getting through it!

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  12. glad you all are on the mend!! i'm not squeamish about blood (that is brad's job in our marriage) but i still hate to see injured little guys.

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  13. oh my gosh. i would be terrified. it seems really hard to keep kids alive!

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  14. "Blood beard." Love that. So descriptive and disturbing. Happy your little one is recovering. I did giggle a bit (after I was 100% sure everything turned out okay) when I visualized the "blood beard." It reminded me of a time, not so long ago, when my husband was away at a med conference, presenting a nationally infamous case about a kid who swallowed some "Aquadots" and had a hallucinatory high bc the stuff was made in China and the glue they used was no bueno. Anyway, while hubs was away, talking hard talk to serious medical professionals on the dangers of children ingesting toys made from chemicals from China (aka, all toys), his own youngest child ingesting a broken glow stick! Awesome. The chemicals from China were all drippy and glowing and beard-like. SO, I get that part.

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  15. oh.my.goodness. poor julia but also poor, poor you. i almost threw up reading this post. want to talk about being queasy, infant, anti-blood? yeah - i am the epitome of that. so we can commiserate and retch together. seriously, poor julia.

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  16. We have a fat lip at our house from a run in with a little girl in the mall play area that we have only begun to milk. Seriously, I told my four year old son to be less proud of being pummeled by a little girl, who walked away without a scratch, I might add.

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  17. I always saw that it's a sick joke that kids are learning to walk at the same time they are producing razor blades in their mouths. Poor Julia :( Poor mommy!

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  18. Okay, I deal with injuries all the time, and there are some that are just tough to deal with. Something like that is definitely one of them! Especially when it's your child! Personally, I think at least some dramatics are perfectly justified.

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