Enter today's clean slate.
We got things going on all trillion cylinders when Julia went up to see Sebastian (like she always does! every single day!) in his portacage and she fell allllllllllll the way down the stairs. And before she could even start the piercing screams her mouth and nose were immediately gushing blood. It became instantly apparent that she had reopened her former mouth wound and liquid seeped out and dribbled down her chin all over again when she turned to the comfort and solace of her addictabottle. I slapped the liquid bandage on without fainting and got her nose to stop bleeding while putting on her beloved Dora and I only called Simon 56 times before he picked up and didn't murder me for breaking the cardinal 'don't call Simon at work unless someone is absolutely DYING' rule. I would probably rate my performance as a whole: A- ... to be perfectly humble and honest. She recovered about 36 hours faster than last time and we still made it to the grocery store with minimal talk of "boobies" and "happened?" and "tynawl?". We made it out relatively unscathed with only four up-down-glares from strangers as Sebastian inhaled and regurgitated the better part of his free M&M cookie (fine, cookies - plural) all over his shirt and the cashier laughing heartily and waving away the ID I offered to prove my maturity when paying for the 4-pack of mini bottles of Moscato.
But there is a sparkly sliver lining in the form of a gleaming white (with minimal door dings) minivan in our driveway. I know. The same-age-as-a-first-grader wagon should and does wipe alllll my woes away. It has all the bells and whistles (two sliding doors! ice cold A/C! an AM/FM radio!) and after driving around in the little pellet of a Jetta all week the monstrosity of a mini feels like a semi-truck or maybe a spaceship. I love it. We offered the owner a significant amount less than he was asking and he quickly countered with a figure 2 hundo lower than our offer. Sold! As long as you throw in a lesson on how to haggle, kind sir.
And now I'm eying my 4-pack and hoping for some excitement and post-nap dramedy because, like I said, things have been a little monotonous around here lately.