speaking of the Olympics ...

09 August 2012

What did you do today?

That's nice. Moving on.

This morning Sebastian, Julia, myself, one million bite size snacks, and very few rationed sips of liquid piled into Simon's small car (better gas mileage = no stops for gas AND less energy exerted when tossing snacks to the minors perched in their mobile cages a mere 4 inches behind my person) and made the heroic (4.75 hours of sheeeeeeer bravery, folks) drive to see my gathered immediate and extended family. We managed to keep it a sorpresa ("surprise" for those of you not lucky to be 1/100 bilingual) from everyone except my super amazing secret keeping Gram. Also, *bonus alert*, Simon is working approximately 36 (feels like million) hours this weekend and we all know how beautifully I deal with those types of shifts so fleeing the prem seemed like a stunningly brilliant decision.
just another soybean field on our Midwestern safari

For those of you that have solo auto traveled with children that cannot speak 98% of your native tongue without the help of some serious screentime ... I'll be looking for the invitation to your canonization in the mail. All hail. Simon rigged the perfect little laptop (and when that ran out a borrowed portable DVD player that I will probably hold tight tonight because portable DVD player, I love you)  holder with an upside down booster seat with a security strap and e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g because Simon is the best and he saw the fear alive in my eyes when we discussed the logistics of the trip (and what if I desperately need to go to the bathroom and all I can find is a haunted gas station? do I put Sebastian in my shirt pocket and strap Julia to my ponytail?) laaaate last night.

After 15 trips back inside the already locked house for something we just couldn't leave the already locked house without and a frustrated diaper change on the sidewalk outside our house like the classy lady that I am ... we were off like a herd of (wait for it ...................) turtles. With Sebastian recently promoted to a big boy car seat the entertainment system worked like a (sing it) ch~a~a~a~r~m.
 oh little zombies, you make your mother proud

Sebastian even treated us to a little nap after minimal sirening and Julia only shrieked for "coffee! juice! bater!" for the last several minutes of the trip.

Despite the fact that we talked about seeing, "GG, Nana, Paul, Daniel, Christian, Sydney, Hailey, Sierra, Aunt Rebecca, Aunt Heidi, Tipper (the dog), Andrew, Peter, other Peter, and Elliot, GG, Nana, Paul, Daniel, Christian, Sydney, Hailey, Sierra, Aunt Rebecca, Aunt Heidi, Tipper (the dog), Andrew, Peter, other Peter, and Elliot, GG, Nana, Paul, Daniel, Christian, Sydney, Hailey, Sierra, Aunt Rebecca, Aunt Heidi, Tipper (the dog), Andrew, Peter, other Peter, and Elliot, GG, Nana, Paul, Daniel, Christian, Sydney, Hailey, Sierra, Aunt Rebecca, Aunt Heidi, Tipper (the dog), Andrew, Peter, other Peter, and Elliot" over and over and over again Julia still f-f-f-f-reaked when they all greeted her at once when we got here ... baby.

And now everyone has abandoned our fun little trio for a "play they already had advance tickets to see"(wink) so I am enjoying a vintage edition mini bottle of pink Moscato over ice while tethering a seriously let-me-loose-in-grandma's-house-and-I-will-destroy-ALL Sebastian
while Julia swims in the lap of luxury:
furniture not purchased off of Craigslist, Dora book, a dictionary, and a large TV screen airing the "simmin" (diving, obvi). Heaven and heavener.

Simon has 7 more call weekends before Christmas (Thanksgiving included!!) ... what lucky duck wants a visit next?


  1. South Bend, South Bend, South Bend!!!
    p.s. way to go doing the trip, you're amazing.
    and I would die without our car's VHS player (we're old school)

  2. reading your blog is a highlight of my day regularly. always grateful for a laugh and didn't want to lurk any longer. watching these divers do handstands on the platform is making me sweat here in nc.

  3. Glad you made it!! Come to the ATL next - we'd love to have you. And I have some boys who would seriously entertain the youngsters. And I have wine. And the in-car DVD player is the best invention, ever, on the planet.

  4. So jealous of J. getting a chance to watch the "simmin'". I don't have cable (and something about living in a canyon means you can't even pick up the most basic channels). I'm glad you got a chance to get away for the weekend!

  5. i love julia's expression in the last pic, an olympic trance! glad you made it in one piece, and didn't have to strap anyone to your ponytail! :)

  6. You can kindly pack up your caravan and head to Kansas City. How much do we have going on? Nothing. Just waiting for this slow poke of a baby to come out. Does it really need three more weeks? No.

    1. I second that...and I'm sure I could get Erica to third it!

  7. Oh my gosh you are so brave! Glad you made it in one piece and without going insane! Hope you have a fun visit!!!

  8. ha-ME! i'll visit next ! i still can't believe we didn't have any sort of laptop/dvd devices growing up for our long car trips. i do remember mom folding down all the seats of the station wagon and loading it with provisions and sleeping bags....we slept almost the entirety of the drive.

  9. If you visit Ana in South Bend, I pretty much would love to meet you. :)
    Also, I thought I'd give you an alternate (slightly more crass)version of "herd of turtles"...
    "terd" of hurdles.
    I find it helpful when things are going that particular way... though, I definitely can't claim to have invented it. Happy Friday! :)

  10. Oh I feel for you. The kids and I have had many solo trips to Indiana (6+ hours) that involved me sitting on the toilet, with Claire sitting in my lap (screaming of course) and Gabe opening the handicap stall door over and over... which is of course JUST out of reach so then I have to stand up, sans pants and baby on my lap, to close it while just praying he would stay IN the stall and not run out. Then there's the great occasions when he would actually LAY DOWN on the public restroom floor because I couldn't wait for him to wake up from his nap... I gag just remembering it, but at least I could pee in peace. Without fail we'd get back on the road and .3 seconds later he would have to pee.

    Glad you made it safely ;)

  11. Visit? Um, I do! starting next week I have 3 weekends and I would like to put them to good use!

  12. Perhaps the best line you ever wrote: do I put Sebastian in my shirt pocket and strap Julia to my ponytail?)

  13. Miinnnnnneeeessssotttaaa. I don't know you personally, but you are welcome to visit.

  14. Come to Denver and I'll throw in an audience with one of your very own, flesh and blood sisters as a bonus. Creepy, no?

    P.s. all hail the mighty screen time. I fail daily in my attempts to parent sans technology. A wise, mature mother of 13 was once rumored to have confidantly stated that 'television is a gift from God to meant to compensate for the declining infant mortality rate.'


  15. Two words: Adult Diapers
    Problem of haunted gas station solved.
    You're welcome.

  16. You and Cari are my new favs.
    You both have the best sense of humor because with all this stuff I have been there and done that but you describe it to a T.

    Sitting here in Minnesota also. Come come come!

  17. Wishing I knew you in real life to invite you to Indy, because otherwise I feel like a weird internet stalker. My two kids could terrorize/be terrorized by your two and we could drink wine.

  18. I know I don't know you in real life, but I'm totally going to invite you to DC... I think it's a bit more than a 4.75 hour drive though...

  19. What about a stay-cation? My dearest also works weekends, leaving me behind with four tots to entertain. Ammeneties include one green plastic turtle pool and a lifetime supply of ice water and raisins at the mini bar.

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  22. If you ever want to take the Train to Chicago, we would gladly host you.

    Or you could drive--we'd host you then too. :)

  23. Another internet stalker only 2 hrs from stl inviting you to visit. I have a Celeste the same age as Sebastian and an Emerson a week older than Theo (sorry Julia, our next oldest is 6) We have chickens to amuse the kids, wine and a newly finished basement that could use some breaking in by houseguests. :)

  24. We'll be in the STL next weekend, wish we could come give you a break. But, you know, family and all......

    And as we're making the trek from Florida to Missouri I will constantly remind myself that you did it SOLO! Amazing. Is three months too young for his own DVD player? No? Oh good.

  25. I was once solo with four kids under 4. When my oldest daughter had to pee at one point, I couldn't stand the thought of dragging all the kids out of car seats again. So we totally stopped in a Tractor Supply Company parking lot, drove toward the back, and she peed in the parking lot.

    When I have to go, I like to stop at Sonic because the bathroom is outside and it just seems easier. And I just set kids on the floor of the bathroom. (Gross, but you do what you must!)



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