After he had spent a busy night on Labor and Delivery and I had spent a busy night at home warding off potential intruders/murderers we were hashing out the day's strategic plan for sleeping/simultaneously watching the need mongers and Simon said, "well, I'll take the first shift when the kids wake up -- which will hopefully be never."
While reading to Julia as she flipped furiously through the pages of her books Simon says, "blah blah blah ... more things ... blah ... the end."
After coming home to a less than pleasant wife one evening Simon said, "I'm going to look into getting Julia a cell phone just so that I can text her so that she can assess and report back on the exact state of your mood."
After walking through H&M for 2.4 minutes Simon said, "I have to be perfectly honest in saying that I absolutely cannot tell the difference between the men's and women's apparel."
After I absentmindedly asked Julia if her favorite color was pink Simon interjected (with an air of disgust), "Julia, don't become a cliché."