Julia's fat vernacular

31 July 2012

While Julia doesn't seem to be in any sort of harried hurry to speak in complete or incomplete sentences, she does seem to put a little tiny bit of thought into her one-word-at-a-time statements. Or maybe that's just my obnoxious talking. I'll let you be the judge if you're still reading ...

"teevee" - laptop
"Dora?" - laptop
"Diego?" - laptop
"pretty" - every time I get her dressed
"pretty" - every time she smears anything from the bathroom onto her person
"pretty" - every time she looks in the mirror
"NO!!!" - anytime Sebastian comes within a 10 foot radius of one of her faux fur blankies
"NO!!!" - anytime Sebastian comes within a 10 foot radius of her food with a reasonably high sugar content
(too late - Oreo killer)

"NO!!!" - anytime Sebastian looks at her 0-23 minutes after her highness has woken up from a slumber
"Simon!" - when she really needs to get Simon's attention
"nap?" - when I ask her to help me pick up her tsunami of toys
"coffee?" - first thing when she wakes up in the morning
"coffee?" - second thing when she wakes up in the morning
"coffee?" - third thing when she wakes up in the morning
"Mommy's" - when I pour a glass of wine
"cookies?" - when she sees the oven is in use
"cookies?" - every time we walk into the grocery store
"pish-ops" - when she sees Jillian Michaels' face on the teevee
"dammit" - when she senses I'm annoyed
"stoppit" - when she senses I'm annoyed
"trubbo" - when she senses I'm annoyed
"snuggle?" - when she senses I'm annoyed
"sigh" - whenever I tell her to apologize for physically assaulting Sebastian for getting into her blankies, sugar, or face
(I promised them some high fructose corn syrup and 10 minutes of trash laptop in return for their cooperation and fake smiles)

Related: I've been thinking about writing and distributing an easy to digest pamphlet titled something along the lines of, "How to Raise a Prodigious Saint" - let me know if you'd be interested.

and in actual interesting internet news:
Cari's Snapshots
Tell Jen (briefly) about your blog
Hallie's fresh start


  1. I'll take one copy of prodigious saints and a tube of whatever shade Jules is sporting in the above photo.

  2. I would definitely be interested in such a pamphlet. I fear I took a wrong turn somewhere along the way as Zelie's favorite pastime these days is hitting me. Isn't love grand? ;)

  3. And oops. I guess I should update my blogger profile. Thanks for the link love!

  4. As a kidlet wrangler (aka babysitter), I feel like all parents should have to write something like this to give to anyone watching their kids! I've been surrounded by small children my entire life and they all speak their own language...clearly :)

  5. I can't get over how cute your Oreo killer is! And I'm always looking forward to your writing, pamphlet or otherwise!

  6. This kid is brill. I'm loving her annoyance responses best.

  7. spencer and i were big fans of the "nap?" and "dammit." smart kid.

  8. love post-Oreo pic of Basher and astute Julia's "push-ops" and "dammit."

  9. top five grace posts. maybe top 3. Might need a "Julia says" category. I bet Julia would get more comments than Simon Says!

  10. Oh.My.Gosh. OK, this post is hilarious. Capital H.

  11. Ellen's new word is "see?" She drops things on the floor, points and says, "see?" As in, "Mom, look! I threw it on the floor again. See? Pick it up. Now."

  12. I like the way your daughter talks, your blog in general, and the color of your walls.

  13. LOL! Julia in the morning sounds like me.

  14. I cannot stop laughing! Probably because my kids are sleeping and I'm trying so hard to be quiet. I just learned about your blog from reading Merrick's Art. I will now be faithfully following your blog. I definitely need some laughs and love how I can relate to your posts! If I could write about my life like you do I would blog everyday :) Thanks for writing!



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