25 July 2012

Don't worry -- I'm not about to get all deep and philosophiwhat on you. As you well know, I like to keep things about as shallow as an allllllllmost drained kiddy pool around here. Every now and again I quietly talk to myself and ask, "Grace, why do you blog?" Well -- I don't say that specifically because I don't engage in complicated one-sided convos but I consider deleting the entire e-Camp and doing something slightly more constructive like making a dinner with more than three ingredients or explaining to Sebastdumb that sitting up under the chair will always result in a head injury -- even when you do it 89 times in a row.

But then ... oh then I remember that I do thoroughly enjoy the affirmation that I receive via my favorite person in the whole world, anonymous:
and who doesn't love a little affirmation? not I.

I do love looking back on the days when Sebastian was still a little sleepless Gollum and Julia still wasn't walking and thanking the good Lord that I lived to tell about that fun little stage of life ...
 (... and a moment of silence for Julia's formerly hairless temples ... may they forever rest in peace).

Or how would I be able to fondly reminisce over every single millisecond of Sebastian's delivery in all of its part I, part II, and part III glory?
(the only moments Sebastian not-so-prettily slept the first 3 months of his life)

Or foster a deeper relationship with my bestie-best by bonding over our shared love for my totally guiltless pleasure - the Bacheloretta
I'll love you through your crazy, anon.

Or what would I do without my professionally made video montage that Julia watches (and insists is starring Sebastian) 34 times in a row while I powder my nose and drink my morning not-a-mock-but-a-cocktail? I would probably die.

So I always go back and decide to crusade onward and continue to blog with true purpose, validity, vapidity, and shameless depth -- for now. Sorry!

*and infinite thanks to all-you-know-who-you-are for being so sweet today but especially to please-start-blogging-again-Roxy for the fancy gift and to wordsmith-Jessica for the nicest post eva (even though she included the worst photo in the history of my life - she's sort of forgiven).


  1. Your wittiness really struck a cord, with anon on not having a fav on the bachelorette! Gosh, I LOVE all things bachelor/ette/ bachelor pad. I think there are some good ones on the show, as well as some out & out crazies.

  2. I didn't realize today was your birthday?!?! I guess I live under a rock.

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! I hope the kiddos are being perfect little angles for you as their gift to you. Or maybe they gave you a bottle of "mommy juice." Either way, the result will likely be the same. :)

    Happy Birthday!

    Anonymous is a great, great friend. Last time he/she left me a comment, he/she said I was old and close-minded. We're besties.

  3. Oh, how I love people that don't understand sarcasm at it's finest. Blog away, woman- you make many of us laugh and it is a great place to store all of the memories when the littles are doing their best to destroy any remaining brain cells.

  4. Grace, I think your blog is fantastic. I have 3 kids (2 boys that are similar ages to your cuties) plus a 5 year old girl & every day I go to bed loving my life, feeling blessed, yet at the same time, feeling exhausted & drained (thinking I could never manage the 3 kids again, yet somehow I do). Most days, when I'm in the gritty parts of life, like when I had changed 3 poopy diapers & dealt with 3 injuries by 8:15am today, I think... No one would ever believe it's this crazy/fun/awful every day. You capture the stuff of life beautifully & you make me laugh about it all.

  5. That anon, always knowing just what to say.

  6. First of all, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!! I hope you and Simon have some wonderful plans in the making at some point for your bday! Second of all, your blog is most definitely one of my favorites. You make me laugh, you're honest, you don't make everything sound full of fluff and rainbows, I love that because that's not how life really is. I know you love your husband and children but life isn't perfect and you're ok with that. And I admire you tons for your amazing patience with Julia and Sebastian, I only hope to be as patient as you when I have kids!

  7. Happy Birthday! I lurrrve your blog and your sense of humor. Never stop.

  8. DO NOT STOP BLOGGING. I love the way you write. I am actually very very envious of your great storytellingability.

    You keep it honest and parenting is so damn hard some days. Please keep it real and ignore ignore ignore comments that get you upset and know that you and your bloggy are super duper cool.

  9. this is quite possibly the best blog post ever. so hilarious.

  10. um if you get rid of your blog our friendship is off. i laughed out loud at the nickname 'sebastdumb.' holy freak that was so funny. and also your second comment to anon..hahahahah!

  11. Oh wow, that's pretty kind anon comments. Mine had gotten so bad, I would be upset for days. Then when I changed permissions they created an account called "peanut" and continued.....Delighted to see they still read and dropped in on my living room post to tell me my shelves didn't match my couch and the color of the room was awful :/ Eventually you get numb to it and laugh.

  12. Happy birthday, Grace! Please don't stop blogging. I don't know if I could go on without your witty commentary, hilarious photos of Julia/Sebastian, and Simon Says.

  13. I love your blog! Humour is my fave human quality, it keeps me sane!!!! I love your humour and "simon says" is a highlight. Never watched Bachelor/bachelorette it seems I am missing out...........................

  14. I've said it before, but I love your ability to be totally sarcastic, while transparently in love with your kids at the same time.

  15. I sincerely hope you're in all your hussy glory at your birthday dinner right now.
    I'm at dinner, too. Reading your blog at the table (bad Cari). Gabriel, lingering over his meal as he's wont to do (see: breakfast casserole picture montage), says in response to the side-by-side of Basher sleeping, "I like those one two babies. Who is that man holding those babies?"
    "That man is the baby's daddy."
    "Oh. Is that baby me?"
    "What? Gabriel, does that man look like your daddy?"
    "So if I just said that man is that baby's daddy, and you know that man is not your daddy, how could you be the baby in the pictures?"
    looooong pause. Then, picking up a forkful of now-cold chicken:
    "You know. Chicken makes you smarter."

    Good on you Gabers. And good on you, Grace, for this blog.

  16. Happy birthday toooo youuuuuu!

    My online singing is way better than my real life singing, so be glad I didn't leave that on your answering machine.

    Loved JDel's post. I have been the recipient of your exceptional kindness and thoughtfulness and I love you for it. You're good people.

    And also those pictures were awesome.

  17. Happy happy birthday to my favoritest blogger named grace Patton!!!!!

  18. Instead of not blogging you should blog about your 3-ingredient dinners, they sound inspired.

    AND even though you and Simon don't enjoy having kids, I REALLY enjoy you and Simon having kids. Like really really.

    AND Happy Birthday!! (Now I'm off to JDel where the bday party is apparently going down.)

  19. Happy birthday! Hope your littles have been/are still good for you today and you didn't have to make/clean up dinner. I also hope you keep blogging your heart out, if only for my enjoyment.

  20. wow! I can't believe people acutally put that stuff! I personally love your blog and sense of humor.... you are bold and say the things I often want to say!
    Happy Birthday and keep up the awesome blogin'!

  21. Hilarious comments, oh no-sense-of-humor anonymous. I'd like you to know that you inspire SO many people, including me, every single day. You make me want to be a stay at home mom and have a huge family...oh, and dye my hair blonde.

    Love you! Happy Birthday!

  22. Happy birfday! The LEAST anon could do is wish you the same.

  23. Happy birthday :-)

    Whatever the real reason, I like to think you're blogging to bring a small measure of delight and hilarity to my usually at-least-somewhat-miserable stay-at-home-mom days. It's funny that Miss Anonypants gets the impression you don't enjoy your kids, because as the mom of only one toddler (and my husband is begging almost daily now that we have another), yours is one of the few blogs I read that actually makes me think maybe having another child would be okay. The peaches and cream "our lives are perfect!" blogs don't fool me for a split second, but I LOVE reading yours because it's real and honest and I, for one, think your love for your kids really shines through. I hope I'm not creeping you out--I'm not sure I've ever left a comment here before, but yours is my absolute no. 1 favorite blog to read. I think I would cry if you stopped writing it. Please don't get creeped out by my creepy stalker fanness and go private . . .

  24. I'm not sure I said creep/y enough times. Creepy creep creeps.

  25. Happy Birthday! I'm glad you AND this blog exist. Anonymous? Not so much.

  26. I love you, love your blog, and want to wish you a happiest of birthdays...I will be sending your gift via email shortly. And it is soooooo creepy.

  27. Two completely unoriginal thoughts for you: happy birthday, and thank you for your blog! I found your blog through Conversion Diary, and I've loved reading your posts. My husband can tell when I'm reading your blog because of how much it makes me laugh. I also love your reflections on motherhood; I have a three-month old daughter, and while I am very glad to be home with her this summer, it's also really hard and monotonous sometimes. Thanks for not sugarcoating it; good, worthwhile things are just really hard sometimes, but it's nice to know that I'm not the only one going through it.

  28. Okay, I don't even know you, but I had to comment on this one. I keep telling people about your blog and how you make life with toddlers sound like life with toddlers really is. We all live there; we're just not all brave enough to admit it. And boy, I wish I could write like you. I cleaned both #1 and #2 off various floors and furniture yesterday, got injured by little people multiple times and after a day like that, to have someone admit that perhaps I'm not the only person living this life, is so refreshing. My 3 are 13 months apart and #4's on the way and I agree . . looking back on the first two in the first months - my #1 could walk but didn't really talk even after #3 was born. . .you just wonder how you survived. Anyway, all that to say - thank you for blogging and please don't stop. You're one of the few that I actually check for new posts from instead of waiting until I'm bored!

  29. I've told so many people about your blog because it's HILARIOUS and I just feel sure that you are a version of the future mom I will be. I have laughed (out loud, not the the fake lol) so many times reading here, and yours is one of the blogs I look forward to most in my reader. PLEASE keep it up or I may cry (and. I have an ugly crying face :)

  30. Happy birthday!! I loved your responses to anonymous and you can never stop blogging. Please. Don't. Stop.

  31. I feel like rude anonymous comments are kind of a blogging benchmark, right? It means you've made it! For future references, nail polish pictures and inspirational quotes (the main subject matter of my blog) seem to inspire no animosity in the comments section.

    1. Ashley are you from lugoff sc?

  32. Happy birthday Grace! And while I am here I am going to fess up to a very random dream I had 2 nights ago involving your fam. Simon had some important shin dig (fancy clothes) and you and your 2 kiddos were roaming around this mansion where shindig was occurring trying to find a quiet room to sleep in. My job was to get Sebastian to sleep while your job was to get Julia to sleep. Repeated attempts, repeated fails, room changes, and I woke up before success was ours. This mansion also over looked Grand Canyon. Of course! Back to the point...happy day and many blessings!!

  33. I'm pretty sure that video montage made me fall even more in love with Julia...didn't know that was possible. So flippin' cute and anon can suck it because all of us TRUE followers ("my name is Morgan and I'm a CP groupie") know that you love both of your kids to pieces.

    Also, if your life was a reality show, I would totes watch it. Juuuust sayin'

  34. I think your blog is hilarious & it makes me happy. I love that you find humor in your children & it reminds me that I'm not alone in the everyday struggles at stay-at-home mom-ness. I'm sad for some people who have nothing better to do than be mean & negative. Keep keep the blog...

  35. happy birthday!! i'm glad you're not letting that silly anonymous person bug you. Clearly they don't realize how hysterically funny you are. your blog cracks me up... i don't use like to use "LOL", but if i did i would totally use it about your blog. hope you enjoyed your day! :)

  36. You BETTER not ever stop blogging. Give me a dang heart attack...

  37. You make me laugh. And that's a work of mercy in my book. Blog on!

  38. Anonymous really makes the rounds on the blogs, doesn't s/he? And what an unhappy person s/he is, though with an uncanny ability to know ALL about the blogger after reading just one post! Whatever, Anon. I, (like every other commenter here) love your sense of humor and your blog.

    More importantly, hope you had a fantastic birthday!!

  39. Please don't ever stop blogging. Your posts always make me laugh, I can totally relate to the craziness of 2 under 2, and reading your blog (& others) is seriously part of my nightly ritual before bed! :)

  40. For real, just look at all of these people who love your guts, and these are only the ones who post. You are such a sweetheart and awesome blogger, and beautiful! I hope you'll always keep on keepin' on.
    Happy Birthday Grace! I hope you are having a wonderful poop free day!

  41. You are my new Funny or Die. I have never seen a funnier way to incorporate comment hate. And a VERY happy birthday to you!! (So jealous of your weekend with Hallie!!)

  42. Happy birthday!!!

    And to Anon: screw off.


  43. Happy Birthday Grace! Thanks for sharing your sarcasm this morning over your "loving" comments from faithful readers. Loved your definition/new word formation of "momit" the other day. It made me feel better to know that someone else had done that too over the smell of horrible cleanup.

    Cheers and blessings to you as you push your way through the early years!

  44. Happy Birthday, though my wish is late. I hope the day was spent having glorious fun with your kiddos. You are doing a job most can't do.. staying at home with your children, blogging, supporting a crazy busy hubby and sharing your stylish recreates with us, the internet. I think Mrs Anonymous is jealous, she CLEARLY wants your life. Thank you for sharing your life with us, you make every day a little more enjoyable with your commentary, though my computer screen is a little dirtier now that I have spit coffee out on it on almost a daily basis. You would think I would learn to stop drinking before reading your posts..

  45. Definitely tempted to post a comment as "Anonymous" and compliment the heck out of your blog... Love reading it. and I'm with Dwija- I might send you a bill for my heart attack if you stop. :) Happy Birthday!

  46. Just piling on the don't stop stack...DON'T STOP BLOGGING!! This stay at home needs you, NEEDS you, to continue making me laugh. Without kindred toddler moms to make me laugh I'd likely jump in front of a bus.

  47. haha. Oh, the Anons of the blogging world. They plague us all here and there.

    I think people want you to keep blogging, so write on...on and on.

    Ps. Your sarcasm is not lost on me. People stare at me when I let out mine...and I have to explain myself. Also- being a parent is no picnic. You love your kids, but you don't liiiike them all of the time (a lot of the time).

  48. I love you, Grace. Anonymous commenters are the worst. And the best, sometimes.

  49. If you stop blogging no one will be able to come to me and bar and strike up a convo by asking, "are you camppatton's sister?" (Seriously happened last week) You're making me popular! And I have always needed help in that department as you well know (Purebred homeschooler).

    I would also have nothing to read after work whilst drinking my sweet tea from Mcd's!

  50. This is possibly one of my favorite posts. And you know...disable those anons!

    Please don't ever stop writing. If it weren't for your blog, I would have never known this fantasticly comical side of you.

  51. ^^^ I'm with them. I'm from Australia and I have no idea how I even stumbled upon your delightful blog, but it is one of my favourites. I love your sense of humour and I remember seeing that "ya know..." anon comment and thinking "ya know, anon, everyone else seems to get it". So keep on doing what you're doing and thanks for making me smile : )

  52. Don't you dare even think about quitting bloggery! It would seem that Anonymous has never spent time around a large (or small and young, for that matter) family; if she had, she'd have recognized what the rest of us know as "trench humour", i.e. laughter as the best way to deal with the insanity and sheer work that is dealing with small children 24/7. You're doing a wonderful job, and your love for your children and husband is palpable through all the rants and hilarity. This blog is the highlight of the day for many of us - keep it coming!

  53. Happy late birthday, Grace! The McIntyres are on a 6-week-long trip around the country so I haven't been around that much. Glad I popped my head up to read this post and comments. I second everybody's. Really, I think you're doing an incredible job. Being a mom is so tough--no one can understand the moment-by-moment self-sacrifice we ordinary mortals must make. And yet you keep your killer sense of humor and your kids seem to be growing up well and loved. Good job.

    Also I sent the pitch for the NFP article some time ago. As I'm sure you know there's usually a long delay before I hear from the mag so if they are interested I'll let you know. Actually I'll just let you know either way.

    Eire's excitement over a mangled piece of broccoli has done the trick--she's out. And I'm going to join her.


  54. I'm just waited for Anon to come out from lurking behind the corner and drop another mean one! Anon can just eat it! I love your blog and your little fatness babies. Never stop!

  55. Ok. This is me being sincere:

    You make me feel like a better mom because I know I'm not the only one who thinks like you do. So, thank you :)

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