spa hour

29 November 2012

dinner at 4:50?
bath at 5:20?
bed at 6:10?
don't mind if they do!

I had been a little bit apprehensive about my date with the very thorough hygienist this afternoon. I'm sure there are some crazies that love having their teeth scraped and their flossing habits questioned but I am not one of you. No, I hadn't exactly been looking forward to the afternoon until the morning happened. The morning that brought Julia cock-a-doodle-needing an hour earlier than she normally crows justasIsnuck into the shower and proceeded to cry justloudenough to ruin said shower. And the morning that saw ninja-hands-Sebastian swipe Julia's bomb of a diaper that I was in the middle of changing (while giving her yet another pep lecture on the benefits of wearing underwear and using the potty like a normal human - an idea that she still refuses to buy) and that he swiftly dragged (brown side down, of course!!) to its rightful place ... the toilet (that he can now easily and proudly open with one hand).  You think you've encountered capital G Gross until you go fishing for every last piece of that exploded diaper while one toddler narrates in detailed and half clothed horror and the other toddler clamors as he just about dies to jump in and help undo his disgusting deed. Bright side? He didn't have time to eat it ... like last time.

So when the time (oh, is it only 1pm? because it feels like it should be midnight of Jan 23, 2023) finally came to prop my feet up, open wide, get my blood pressure taken (?? is this a new dental thing??), dramatically wince when the scraping instrument/power claw of death hit an "area of sensitivity", answer the barrage of questions about our Thanksgiving weekend as eloquently as possible with my mouth open and occupied, not realize that the fluoride treatment was actually NOT clear but resembled wet toilet paper residing on my pearlies and should definitely be brushed off before venturing out into the wild of the public -- I had absolutely nothing but the happiest of thoughts to think about the experience. And I am almost giddy at the thought of our next scheduled tryst on June 6th at 10 in the am. I'll bring the tartar.

22 comments:

  1. Dentists (no offense to them) are the worst. I have to go all zen to make it through.. I get panicky thinking of the bubblegum flavored toothpaste. Gag.

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  2. Sorry, just so, so sorry! Hope your day gets better by bounds! And quick!

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  3. I effing hate the dentist. I saw a new one last time and I wanted to punch him in the face before the end of the appointment. Thanks for the lecture on how I should floss. I'm kind of in the middle of major life crap but I'll get right on that.

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  4. The dentist blows. You, however, do not, and I needed I read this after a very lame day at school. Thanks for letting me siphon humor from your chaos.

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  5. Also hate the dentist. Love going, now that I have kids.

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  6. Went to the dentist after baby #1 for the first time in 3 years. He said my teeth were great. "Well, if you don't have the money to fix it, don't break it, eh? Hardeharhar." Anyways. As soon as I left they wanted to schedule another appointment. Nope. If my teeth were great after 3 years, I'll wait another 3, Dr. TwoHundredDollars.

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  7. oh man...I love a good poop story, but the dragging and the "brown side down" ruined it for me. dear Bashy, whyy?

    also, I haaaaate the dentist. rather, the hygienist. "does that hurt?" no, my gums just spontaneously bleed. "oh, you've been flossing, have you?" nope...not since YOU flossed them for me 6mo ago. plus, I have this irrational fear of me grinding my teeth until they all crumble like PEZ and post-dentist I'm convinced that my teeth are wiggly. not good.

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  8. Dentist, doctor, teacher conference. any excuse to get away from the smallish people.

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  9. can't believe how much they are really looking like twins! Love how fat Sebastian is!

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  10. Oh no, Sebastian... I'd cry if that happened to me.

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  11. Why is it always brown side down?!

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  12. ugh-reminds me that i have to make an appt with el dentisto soon. i wonder if dislike of dental visits is tied to my recurrent dream that my teeth fall out...hmmm. love bath time tho-especially when they earn one before the day has even started haha. hope tomorrow is brighter :)

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  13. Strategic plastic cup placement there Bash. Thank you for always being modesty-conscious.

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  14. Gugh. I mayy hate the dentist more than you. I could actually feel my mouth throbbing and nasty tarter spit running down my throatIneedtostop.

    And, I don't know if you get this problem, but when I'm pregnant, my gums bleed like a stuck pig. I always tell them this as a warning, but I always end up getting the flossing lecture which I do every day thank you I'm pregnant!

    And why do they have to talk to you? Can't we all just be quiet and hate the moment together? It would go by so much faster.

    I think you may have hit an oral nerve.

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  15. This dental hygienist is quite entertained here! Just a few tidbits, yes your gums will bleed more and be more sensitive when preggo. Those darn hormones. Not as much if you're flossing on the regular....I know, I know. It has been suggested to take blood pressures at every appointment for many years but most don't just because. And tell your office to get some clear fluoride varnish! Anything else is just ridiculous. But I'm so glad you got it :)

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  16. Oh basher! I haven't got a chance to tell the tale of Joseph fishing Miriam's turds out of the toilet yet on my blog. But yes.... he pulled them from the depths of the porcelain bowl and squished them between his fat fists... luckily I caught him before he snuck a taste (I think)

    Boys are so gross

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  17. I really do want to go to the dentist so bad after reading this. Prop then feets up, baby!

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  18. Isn't it sad that we look forward to every single opportunity to get out when we are SAHM's? I used to love going to Target and the grocery store - which are now chores I dread.

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  19. I love my dentist (Dr. Payne. yes, seriously) but hate having my teeth cleaned. Luckily when I visited a few weeks ago, he mostly sang along to the radio so there was not attempt at awkward conversation. The blood pressure thing must be pregnancy-related. I'm in my second trimester and they checked mine also - don't remember them ever doing that before.
    Sorry about the poop. My 3-year-old just starting pooping in the potty last week. This after weeks of care packages from school of carefully tied plastic bags full of underwear complete with poop. Apparently they're not allowed to dump the poop in the toilet.Bbecause a bag of poop for mom is hygenic.
    ok, I will stop writing about poop now. Hope today is better for you!

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  20. Love your blog and thought it somewhat funny that I, too, went for a cleaning yesterday and that I have the next one scheduled for June 7, 2013. It just made me smile ;) And they do always question those flossing habits, of which I have none.

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  21. I haven't been to the dentist since I was 5 months pregnant. The boy is 2. I often think that I will finally visit the dentist and proudly announce the former, hoping they will all think I look really great for a 55 year old new mom...

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