Simon Says

19 November 2012

"I think we've read to Sebastian a total of two times in his whole life ... and I think it shows."


After discovering that we seem to have permanently lost our spare set of van keys, Simon very seriously said, "well, we'll just be living on the edge I guess."

One early morning before he even opened his eyes, Simon said, "No more studying before I go to bed because my dreams revolve entirely around periods."

Out of the blue Simon asked, "do you ever gaze lovingly at the kids' belly buttons because that is how they were attached to you in the womb?"

While reminiscing about the inception of Simace, Simon sweetly said, "it was pretty much love and frustration at first conversation and not much has changed since then."

After spending some quality hours with a teething (?!?!) Julia, Simon said, "she is 1 part cute and 99 parts demon."

A real helicopter of a dad recently dramatically and valiantly "rescued" Sebastian at the playground after he sprinted 8 whole feet from an irresponsible sitting-on-the-bench Simon and offered, "looks like he might need a Kleenex!" -- Simon (very, very quietly) responded, "looks like you might need to shut the feck* up."

On that same trip to the playground as we pulled up and saw the crowds of kids with hovering parentals crawling all over the play structures, Simon sighed to himself, "I hate the playground."



*family friendly censorship always.

24 comments:

  1. Dying. My favorite posts!!


    -susan

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  2. Oh goodness, "looks like you might need to shut the feck up." DYING.

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  3. Ser-us-ly, I am married to Simon's long lost twin. Every.single.time I read "Simon Says", I'm hearing these quotes coming from the mouth of my hub. With regards to this post: A. He hates the playground because of above mentioned. B. Would have totally been "caught not wiping a nose" and not caring with an def. explicative under the breath. C. Totally called me out on the belly-button connection. Always...it's my favorite part on babes, other than hands and finger. Those are just too cute!

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  4. "i hate the playground." what a finale! ahhh, so funny.

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  5. "looks like you might need to shut the feck up." I just laughed so hard, I snorted and had to explain it to my husband.

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  6. "I hate the playground"- you and me both, my brutha'

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  7. I look forward to reading these so freakin much! Thanks for making me laugh as always.

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  8. gawd i love your family. and ditto on the bellybutton thing. i think i got teary trying to explain it's origin to joey one day...

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  9. The dream one takes the cake - hahaha!!!

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  10. I want to point out something you will probably not care about one little bit: I think we have the exact same coffee table! [I'm always excited about things like that, but the people who own the same thing as me never seem to feel the same - ha!]. Except ours was trash-picked, and is pretty beat up (which we didn't mind, since it's going to see many toy trucks, choo-choos, etc. driven over it throughout the years...)

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  11. I used to think the same way about my second child and the lack of me reading to him. But he learned to read by himself at age 4 without any help from us - so no guilt necessary! You don't want to coddle him too much, right? ;)

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  12. He never disappoints. EVER! I think you two have more convos in his less than ample time off than the hubs and I do, well ever. :)

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  13. i cannot pick a favorite here. they're all gems.

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  14. I always talk to my kids about their belly buttons like that!! And tell Simon that I think that about nosy, helicoptor parent all that time!

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  15. I'll never look at belly buttons the same.

    My brother is one of those helicopter parents. It's super fecking annoying.

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  16. Always my fav posts.

    Never considered my childrens' belly buttons in that light. I think I may be dead inside?

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  17. Always the belly buttons. I'm glad I'm not alone in this.

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  18. Another awesome one. Please do a "Husband Says..." linkup some time, pretty sure it would become the most popular linkup on the web. :P

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