Simon Says

16 October 2012

"Please stop taking creepy photos. I was buying a stroller fun pass ... not making memories."

Regarding the recent lack of Simon Says posts Simon said, "people are going to start suspecting marital strife."

While looking at Sebastian Simon said, "if we're being honest with ourselves we both know he's going to have to be pretty funny to attract any ladies' attention in the future."

While watching in horror as Julia threw one of her inexplicable tantrums Simon said, "are there any 'My Toddler is a B' camps we can look into?"

After a tiny little bathless week (to be blamed on a major case of PTSD after he was accidentally bathed with a minor diaper rash) Simon said, "if you're feeling adventuresome I highly recommend giving Sebastian's feet a whiff."

In response to my observation that this pregnancy seems to be dragging Simon said, "I can't say that I agree. It's actually flying by for me."

After Julia happily said goodbye to me in between zombie stares at the Dora-filled computer screen Simon said, "how does it feel to be a distant second best to an animated character that wears socks with her shorts every day of her life?"

Right before the kids and I got home from my (long, long, long) Dora DVD-filled road trip Simon said, "Dora's fire is waiting."


  1. ha. these are great. i do NOT envy your amount of dora intake.

  2. I thank the patron saint of thiiiis-close-to-insane mothers that my kids have unanimously decided to break up with Dora. Even the episodes of Diego that she guest stars on the kids refuse to watch.

    I don't know what that dirty little minx did to my kids, but their punishment is swift and unforgiving.

  3. No Dora here (yet) but sometimes we wish a killer whale would make a Special Guest Appearance on Pingu.

  4. cracking up out loud in the Starbucks of a Polish train station... getting quite the stares!! That first quote had me dying!!

  5. Hilar. You can tell Bash that he need not worry...rolls are totes in style. And if the chubb doesn't have the ladies chasing, his bald head sure will :)

  6. Tell Simon I see marital fun, not strife. I love these posts.

  7. Socks and shorts, I love it! And Sebastian will be Succcch a ladies' man. S

  8. Just want to say I LOVE YOUR BLOG Grace.
    Just had a moment to read some of the crazy stuff from
    Anon...come on person...get a sense of humor!!?? or some beer.

    You and your husband are ridiculously smart by what he says and the
    way you write.

    My husband (also in the medical field) makes me laugh every single day.
    humor is a huge sign of intelligence and I would give my right eyeball for
    just an ounce of humor you got going bloggy is like a re-run of a braggy christmas letter...oh the horror.

  9. Could we make that an all animated characters fire? That would light my fire... get it... (not actually funny to anyone but me)

  10. Hands down one of my favorite posts so far...the last one killed!!!

  11. Every one of my kids had a "favorite" movie or character that they watched incessantly. My daughter's was "The Little Mermaid". My husband threatened to burn it numerous times. One can only listen to "Under the Sea" so many times. Winnie-the-Pooh for one son, Jungle Book for another. And then the ever-annoying Caillou. If she hasn't discovered that one yet, stay far, far away.

    1. OMG - Caillou makes me want to pull my eyebrows out...why is he 4 and still bald?!?!

  12. Christipher's latest is tantrums in stores. So far in the last two weeks, at the post office (stranger had to carry Evie out to the car so I could carry him), Target (wanted a toy), FedEx (tried to steal candy). He's figured out i cant carry Evie and him and hold Andrew's hand to leave a store, so I'm more likely to give into him. If you find that camp let me know ;)

  13. Your photo captions on these Simon Says posts are HILARIOUS!! As a mother of 2 boys (13 months apart), I can relate to so many of these!



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