it's like they have no toys

29 October 2012

The novelty of watching me shower has pretty much worn off for Julia so I can usually sneak an every-third-day rinse in during Sebastian's morning catnap. You're already intrigued, aren't you? I understand.

Today was the fourth day sans hair wash and while many people can rock the dirty hair look and rock it well, I cannot. Sebastian was showing no signs of fatigue and when I tried to put him down he all but shrieked "bleep no, I will not nap!!" over and over and over and over again so I went ahead and showered while he stared to his weird little heart's content in between frantic scrambles of trying SO hard to get his little butterbody into the shower with me. He finally lost interest in mama mammoth and left me with two minutes of peace before my "it's! too! quiet!" momdar went off and I wrapped what I could of my body in some hooded terry cloth and went to investigate.


Oh, I know. It's no Frankensandy and the kids weren't bleeding or knocking on death's door but I discovered the snow storm circa 8:30 in the am and it is now 2:00 in the pm and still still STILL after 3 sweeps, 8 mops, 18 texts to Simon, and 34 curses there are infinite and endless particles of powder clinging to the floor crevices, my nose hair, and Sebastian's diaper area.

"all bedder, mommy."

Right, Juliarella.

So when the cashier at the grocery store this morning took one look at Julia repeatedly asking to read "the book" (US Weekly) on the shelf, Sebastian pulling all the not-yet-paid-for items off the conveyor belt, and my bebe oven offered the always creative and appreciated, "you're going to have your hands full!" with a (was that a hint of sinister?) laugh I wanted to retort that I already did but I just gave her a quizzical look and a flash of a smile instead.



40 comments:

  1. What a mess!! Someday you'll look back on this and it will be adorable.

    <3 Melissa
    wildflwrchild.blogspot.com

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  2. So funny!
    They do grow up..I had 4 under the age of 7 and they played together growing up. Where did that time go?
    I will post a pic of my young boys and they beautiful painting they made for me...just for the memories.

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  3. Hahahaha this was great. Poor you! Huge messes that I myself did not make but would have to clean up is probably the number one thing I dread most about motherhood. But thanks for sharing your funny stories as always. You light up my life :)

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  4. if my kids ever did that i would have a complete meltdown. literally. p.s. we put a handle that locks on our pantry ;) can you guess why?

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  5. :) I'm so glad you document all of this for us.

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  6. At least it's a clean mess, my grandma would say! We have a similar dusting of baby powder that still puffs up from time to time. btw your hair 3 days dirty beats my 5 o'clock grease flat.

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  7. You will be the patron saint of toddler messes one day!

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  8. I love your kids & I love your blog!

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  9. Omgawsh you are such a good mom!! I would not have had the patience to document by taking photos before I burst into tears! Don't cry over...spilled baking powder? :)

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  10. People that drop that "you've got your hands full" line are freaking morons.

    That is all.

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    1. Thank you! That's what I keep saying. Worst. Commentary. Ever.

      It is not helpful or funny or even mean enough to make good blog fodder. They should shut it...

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    2. Oh, yes! That is the ONLY comment I ever get from people. Is that really the only thing that you can think of to say after seeing me and the kids? No "what a lovely family" or even "they keep you busy, don't they?" I have to wonder if people see more than one child under 3 and their brains implode--sort of like banging their thumbs and under the stress of the moment their favorite expletive is the only thing that can escape their mouths.
      I really need to think of something snappier than just smiling and saying, "sometimes," because the impending arrival of #3 is going to become apparent at some point soon and I can't even imagine what that will call forth. Or maybe the shock will be too much and they will turn blue and fall gasping to the floor in my wake. Now that, I would find funny.

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  11. I saw the first three pictures and thought "how on Earth to you even begin to clean that up?" And is it an endless cycle because you have two little "helpers" while you clean up? These are the questions my not-yet-a-mom mind thinks.

    The hands full comment is just stupid. Why do people even say that?!?

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  12. Well, at least you know you'll be taken care of in your old age. There's no way your adult kids will turn their backs on you after seeing the messes they put you through!

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  13. oh my word. at least it's white, and not blue? (blueberry incident)

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  14. OMG - I just snorted pumpkin spice latte out my nose! Those pictures were priceless - you didn't even need to write anything!! My mom tells a story of me and my sister (a year and a day apart), going down for a nap in our room while she was getting ready to go to a party with my Dad. No napping, obvy, since she opened the door to our room an hour later to find a very large cloud of white. I had gotten out of bed, pulled my sister out of her crib, and proceeded to enjoy myself with a very large container of baby powder. I imagine it's similar in nature to the fun cleaning job you just had. She still gets mad when she talks about it, but the kids love the story........!

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  15. I will trade you one Lotus for your ability to come up with gems like "Juliarella" and "Frankensandy" and whatever other ones you come up with that I'm not clever enough to.

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  16. Thank you for this much needed laugh! I just polished off a bottle of Welchs bubbling grape juice straight from the bottle thank you very much (bc it's 3pm and I'm still a single-parent-bc-husbandIngradschool [yes I got too lazy to finish with hyphens]) after spending the last four hours trying to convince my children to stop crying and just! go! to! freaking! sleep! Bc you obviously need a nap!
    I thank God for inspiring your children to make it snow in the kitchen so I could read about it and laugh and feel better :-)

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  17. at least its one of those messes you don't have to wonder, "oh my gawsh did you eat it and how much and do I need to get on the phone to poison control!??!?!"
    your kids are super cute!

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  18. I see they've taken out a measuring cup, too. Clearly geniuses!

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  19. damn, that hands full line got irritating about two days onto motherhood....puh. lease.

    This totally happened to me except with baking soda, and all over my couch, and dont ask what I was doing but I think it was probably something useless like getting dressed for the day, and I never told my husband because I knew he'd rant.

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  20. That's the point where you resign yourself, lay down, and making baking powder angels with them. The other options are too much work.

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  21. Awww Juliarella is so helpful :)

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  22. oh my! they definitely felt like mixing it up this time. next, they'll probably go the more gooey-sticky route, I'm sure ;)

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    Replies
    1. and I do have to say, Bash+the booties+him looking at the can=cuteness overload.

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  23. Hahahahaha! Pictures for evidence when they have their own kids.
    Both of our boys did this too, so now I'm just waiting for Ell's turn.
    And I'm trying to convince Dev the E needs moccasins, because she NEEDS them, right?!
    B and J are so cute!!!

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  24. So cute! I can only say that because I didn't have to clean it up. :)

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  25. my boys went to bed early tonight after ingesting A&D ointment and ALL of our teething tablets (i think 2 or 3 little jars of it!). i know we don't know each other, but i totally thought of you and your little ones!!! this post confirmed it.

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  26. Well now that I am an empty nester and can look back on this and other mess's that are just a memory, hand the kids a vaccuum and tell'em "go for it" and then reach for the chocolate ;-)

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  27. i agree that we need to retire the "hands full" comment...along with "oh my! is he YOUR baby? you look way too young to have a baby " after which I make sure to flash my wedding bling and just smile and nod.

    also loving the pic of Julia cleaning up. So responsible :)

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  28. I've had this happen with Baby Powder. Also hard to clean up, but at least it made the house smell good. I love love love your humor. It makes my days more bearable. Seriously. If you were to ever stop blogging I would cry.

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  29. I am just so impressed that S is wearing shoes and a complete outfit! I can't get mine to stay clothed for very long at all. Plus, what cute pants!!!

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  30. I love how he's standing by the back door with the baking powder, inspecting the can like "...this'll do..."

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  31. Once again- I die of laughter from my place in bed. I cannot wait to see what my girls will get into. I'll have to make sure to keep the baking powder/corn starch/ flour/ confectioners sugar on a higher shelf;)

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  32. I like reading your blog, your parenting style is refreshing...but the whole "hard to shower" thing is really baffling me. Why don't you close the bathroom door? I always lock my daughter in the bathroom with me and have a stock pile of interesting toys that are always in the bathroom. Sure its a small room and it gets messy with toys, but I've never had an issue while showering. I can shower everyday, multiple times if I want to. My daughter has never played in the toilet, but just get a toilet latch. I've also had 2 other toddlers in the bathroom with her when babysitting my friend's kids. I mean your kids disasters are funny...sometimes disgusting, but ultimately totally avoidable.

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    Replies
    1. Grace, Please do NOT ever start locking the toilet or even the bathroom for that matter. I will be so devastated if I never get to read another edge of the seat perching, nail biting, bathroom disaster. AND should you begin showering on a regular basis it will totally ruin my self esteem because I regularly think to myself, "Grace is on day 3...I can totally make it one more day!" ;)

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