Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Simon Says

Simon says, "my smile looks forced."


While walking out the door with Julia to go buy some Muscato, Simon said, "come on Julia, we're going on an important errand to buy some mommy juice!!"

While recounting his day on labor and delivery, Simon said, "between the amniotic fluid and the occasional poop ... birth generally smells really gross."

During an especially busy day on labor and delivery, Simon called and said, "I'm on my way to see a patient that is concerned she may have bruised her cervix ... whatever that means."

While discussing the fact that the Goodwill sells underwear, Simon said, "I would much rather go completely commando."

14 comments:

  1. OMG, I can't even imagine being married to an OB...you're a brave woman :)

    I miss mommy juice.

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  2. Let's just hope that lady doesn't find out you were telling everybody about her bruised cervix:)

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    1. Simon, if I've told you once, I've told you a million timEs- don't let Grace scoop me on telling about my bruised cervix. That's good blog fodder I can use.

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  3. Hmmmm......what do I love more...the Simon says or the fat Sebastian...

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  4. also, where has Cari gone? Did she have her baby? I feel like I haven't seen her hilarious commentary 'round these parts in a few days

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    1. Still here. Hilariously post due.
      Also, I don't have a bruised cervix. Just a stubborn one.
      Also, I think Grace should now ban me from her blog for how much I've talked about my cervix ( both real and imagined) on this single post.

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  5. bottoms up. i'm going to open some AS SOON as i get my booty home from work...and i'm still here. ew.

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  6. Aw man, we definitely call the vino "mommy juice" around here too...and it might be drunk on a daily basis!

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  7. These are.... awesomely hilarious! PS. Have a little award for you on the blogggggg!

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  8. I can't WAIT to drink some mommy juice again!

    And poor Cari. I think she gets a pass for all her cervix chatter...bruised or otherwise.

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  9. Do you ever find it strange that your husband looks at other lady parts all day? I always ask my doctor siblings this question, and they say that it's so routine it doesn't even phase them (unless something really weird comes in...like the man/woman with the boob job and a tattoo across his/her breasts that read "Sweet Cherries"). I am just so unnerved by a naked person besides the hubs that I couldn't deal with all that nakedness!! All that being said, I am so glad that there are good young Catholic NFP doctors out there like Simon. God bless him!

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  10. maybe I am crazy, but I like the smell of amniotic fluid/post-birth...must just be the crazy hormone love cocktail stuff but that smell just reminds me of those first seconds when you finally have your wrinkly newborn in your arms, they feel so soft and pure...ugh i just love it :)

    also....i was unaware there was a difference between "completely commando" and just commando lol

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  11. mommy juice! love it. my niece somehow got creme de menthe and cough syrup mixed up in her brain (long story). now, whenever my sister bakes with creme de menthe, she likes to ask the sales people at the story for mom's cough syrup. nice.

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