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21 May 2012

Today.

Today can be summed up in a long string of completely disjointed and not whiney sentences.

I think the kids woke up a combined number of 100 times last night (nothing a little unplugged baby monitor, 10 box fans, and lots of Ambien for alllll members of the fam won't fix tonight). During my run/walk this morning, a car actually honked at me to move over onto the sidewalk. I didn't, don't worry. When we returned home and I was recovering Julia fed Sebastian his own diaper fresh from the trash can and if his impressively strong latch was any indicator, he thought it tasted amazing.

While I was drying my hair after its weekly washing Julia put a brief moratorium on her 'must be within 2 feet -- preferably touching mom' rule, hiked up two flights of stairs (stopped in the kitchen to drink some generic Pam) with a turned on electric toothbrush. She made it all the way to Sebastian's sleeping face in his portacage where she apparently tried to 'bush his teef' but instead dropped the not very light toofbush on his face. I found the escape artist just in time to see Sebastian in a fit of justified rage that I hope to never ever encounter again.

I decided to pair a necklace with my clean hair which I'm fairly certain contributed two or three beads to Sebastian's current digestive tract. We'll find out in a week when he drops his weekly diaper bomb. Speaking and smelling of diaper bombs, I'm definitely certain Julia figured out a way to drop a seemingly invisible diaper bomb sans diaper in my closet at some point today.

Julia has a sudden and strong aversion to any and all shirts and only wants to wear shorts that could pass as immodest swimsuit bottoms. She also discovered the box of toys with a millllllllllllllion parts that I had hidden away deep in the dark recesses of the basement never to be found again. She promptly marched it outside to dump out and share with her pet ant hill that she keeps fat and happy with 78% of every meal that conveniently misses her mouth. Let me stress -- one milllllllion parts.

And to top it all off I was supposed to meet Simon for some hospital cafeteria fare at 1:00 but still hadn't heard from him at 1:30 because he was stuck in a loooooong surgery. Don't worry -- I didn't get mad at him -- I got mad at the situation.

But for once in my control freak of a life I decided to roll with all of the blessed fun.
I'm not sure why. Maybe because Julia started agreeably saying, "shoo" (sure) instead of her default blank stare in response to anything I ask her (whether "shoo" makes sense in the context or not is completely irrelevant). Or maybe because I didn't taste impending vomit for the first time ever on my not fun run today. Or maybe because there is a Butterfinger (king size) in the refrigerator c/o the hospital cafeteria that I'm totally going to eat before Simon gets home from work too many hours later than usual. Or maybe probably definitely it's because blogging royalty, Jen wrote theeee nicest post in the history of the internet about Camp Patton. I'm only a little bit worried that the blog is going to explode and die a happy death due to the insane glut of new traffic she sent over.

Julia, Sebastian, Simon, the ants, and my newfound strength to not faux-stress drink before noon ALL thank you.

23 comments:

  1. Boy am I glad that I knocked off "Simon Says", just to mentioned on her blog made me jump with joy. And you totes deserve her acclaim, your blog is the best!

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  2. I love the way you drag humor out of such frustrating situations! It seriously makes my day!

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  3. I can't even fathom getting a write up like that on a blog with two readers, let alone Jennifer's blog. Well deserved!

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  4. You legitimately deserve internet celebrity like no other mom blogger out there...also, Kahlua + butterfingers + coconut milk + ice in blender = ? ... possibly delicious? I suppose any booze on hand could do, in a pinch.

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  5. I'm exhausted just reading this post. Partly from the events you described. Partly from laughing!

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  6. "I got mad at the situation." love it.


    sorry it was a trying day, but thanks for putting an amusing spin on it to entertain your loyal fans.

    and jen discovered you? about time.

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  7. Yea, I'm hooked (thanks to Jen's rec). You're hilarious!! I've been reading for 45 minutes and laughing to tears! You're going in my Google Reader, for sure! ;)

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  8. Woot Woot! I was super stoled just to get a comment from Jen once :)

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  9. Congrats on the super famous blog love! That's so cool! I just shook my head when I read this because I had the most horrendous day with the twins yesterday and totally wished we lived next to each other so we could coral the kids and run away for coffee or liquor... whatev.

    Btw, my dear daughter has taken to pouring honey all over her, the counters, whatever else is in the cabinets, whenever i turn my back, so that's beyond awesome.

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  10. You are scaring me. Julia is at the age Marley will be when baby 2 is born. God help me. ;)

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  11. Can Simon get a rotation in Omaha and you guys move up here?! I feel like we would get along well with our similar lives (married to a cancer research graduate student) and sense of humor! And my 2yr old could teach Julia some wonderful new tricks (has she "freed" Goldfish crackers by taking them for a swim in the toilet yet?) while our young boys hang out.
    Thanks for supporting your husband in his calling to serve families, women, and the unborn as a OB/GYN/NFP specialist! May our Blessed Mother continue to grace you with strength, endurance, and patience!

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  12. You deserve the mad traffic. Your blog is perfection :)

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  13. First visit to your blog, courtesy of Ms. Fulwiler. Have never commented on any blog before but I just have to tell you how much I enjoyed today's post. I have 5 children, ages 6 - 14, and your experiences bring back so many memories!! Thanks for the laughs!

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  14. Yep, me too. I'm here courtesy of Jen. And so glad to be here. Just read one post and I think I'm hooked. As I read I thought, yep our kids DRIVE US NUTS.... and it's the best, bestest, job in the whole wide world, and I love it. I have two boys, a 6 yr old and a 1 yr old. Looking forward to keeping up with your blog.

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  15. My first visit here, too, and already subscribed. :) And ecstatic to find that St. Louis in general and Mercy in particular are encouraging NFP-only physicians! I've been traveling into STL for ob/gyn for the past ten years.

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  16. You. Are. Hilarious. And deserve a nap. But mostly hilarious.

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  17. Well-deserved props. And being mentioned by blogging royalty makes you one too, oh Duchess of Pattonville.

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  18. Yay for the Camp! I'm so glad she mentioned you. You really are the reason God gave us mommy blogs...to make us feel solidarity, and laugh, and retain our sanity. You're the best!

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  19. YAY CAMP PATTON! awesome props to you, Grace. DUCHESS OF PATTONVILLE wow. you're hitting it big, girl. Ana's post about Mike Check is hysterical too.

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  20. I discovered you a few weeks ago thanks to Betty Beguiles. And I LOVE your blog and am totally addicted. My kids are older, but you take me back to those not so far away days, every day! And I'm able to laugh at my own situations with elementary and middle schoolers. You're awesome!

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  21. Uhm, yes, Grace, I do hit the refresh on the google reader about 12 times a day hoping for another post - since a lot of blogs "roll out" their posts in the morning, yours is always a surprise when I check...the good kind of surprise. :)

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  22. Loooooove your blog! I finally got around to reading my back log of Jen's blogs and came right over. with a house of 4 boys,tThis is what I need to remember ever day :"But for once in my control freak of a life I decided to roll with all of the blessed fun"
    can't wait to dive in and read more!! :)

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