Thursday, December 6, 2012

Simon Says

"Julia, that is your eleventh and final clementine of the night and Grace, don't you dare put that photo on Instagram."


While looking at a series of photos I took of the kids yesterday Simon said, "yep, the most photographed children on all of the internet."

Regarding the vlog Simon said, "I've just resigned myself to a life subjected to public ridicule via Camp Patton."

After patiently listening to my nitty gritty report of an especially pleasant day with the tyrants Simon said, "I really think you should form an unhealthy drinking habit after the baby is born."

In response to Julia pointing at his bare chest and saying, "boobie" Simon said, "actually, that is called a pectoralis."

In the middle of a detailed explanation of just how bad my lower back was hurting, Simon interrupted to say, "so you're saying that we are entering a Josephite period of the pregnancy?"

While Julia carried on in the bathroom about needing help taking care of business #2 Simon said, "I'm pretty sure that is a mother-daughter thing."

Trying to be diplomatic about his true feelings for the turkey and sweet potato tacos I made the other night Simon said, "let's just say if there were a Noah's Ark for types of tacos ... these might not be making the cut."

Defending the hideous flannel reindeer pajama pants that he likes to wear in his down time (that I stupidly gave him a few Christmases ago) after I voiced my opinion yet again on just how attractive I found them Simon said, "fine, I declare these to be my abstinent pants."

25 comments:

  1. I can NOT WAIT to select my own "abstinent pants" when I get home. I can think of about 3-4 pairs off the top of my head. Gabe's gonna love this.

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  2. Boobie and abstinent pants... my favs!
    P.s. if you need a drinking buddy for after the baby is born, I'm game!!!! :-)

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  3. Josephite pregnancy...so funny!!

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  4. Really laughing over the pants. Said like only a true NFP-er could.

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  5. I dunno, I think Simon's pretty awesome. Not quite as awesome as my husband, of course, but he's reaching "I'd buy that man a beer" levels.

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    1. Didn't know how to put it into words.....until now. Ditto.

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  6. Abstinence pants! I have several of those.

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  7. Oh this little post just brightened up the waiting period before my most hated chore begins ( putting fitted Jammie's on my 3 under 3 wet out of bath babies)

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  8. Haha. We have "abstinent" clothes, too...mostly for me, but we love to joke about it for both of us.

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  9. I may need to get some of those pants for my husband... You know, for the Josephite part of this pregnancy

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  10. Oh haha Sean has those but we call them "NFPj's." One pair is fleece with bright yellow smiley faces all over and the other is fleece with robots on them.

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  11. Abstinence tall-socks + shorts is where it's at!

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  12. Unfortunately I have abstinent pants too. And a robe. Definitely an abstinent robe.

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  13. Oh my gosh, this post made me laugh SO hard. Love it.

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  14. I'm so glad someone else's kid knows the word "boobie". Ellen likes to point to alllll of my ladies parts and tell me they are boobies. At home and in public.

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    1. I see all of y'all your kids that know the word boobies and raise you my four year old, that ADDED NIPPLES to the sidewalk chalk portrait he drew of me.

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  15. Josephite period of pregnancy...that's gold. I wonder how many people got that?

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  16. Hilarious. Thanks for the chuckle.

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  17. OMG I just snorted at the "abstinent pants" :)

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  19. Well it's a good thing he won't need those pants for many moons:). They can be safely tucked away in his dresser until the need arises...

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