Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Quirks

Sometimes it feels like the occasional monotony of life as a stay-at-homer to two small children is broken up only by moments of serious frustration. (let me interrupt to say that earlier today I read one blogger's pledge to only read 'inspiring and uplifting' blogs in the new year -- and with an opening line like that I'm guessing Camp Patton will be numero uno on her list-o-spiration). I did say sometimes! Yesterday's morning involved Julia and an unfortunate accident of the shitty variety in the bathtub and if I were a silver lining type of gal I would thank my lucky planets that Sebastian had just been plucked from the tub due to his whines that were just grating enough to be answered and appeased. But silver linings aren't for me and I think I'll still brag-complain about it to Simon during dinner tonight. Anyway, like most days - the hits kept coming in the forms of completely emptied closets, short (toooo short) naps, a bad hair day, and Julia losing her (teeeeeny tiny) "Dowa daw" and throwing herself into hysterics 45 too many times.

But a day in the life is not the topic du jour ... let's focus on Julia Grace Patton's fleeting moments of redemption.
happiest toddler on the block.

I could/should/won't start a blog dedicated solely to the fruit of our limbs and the things they do that only parents find endearing so I'm sorry in advance and thank you for suffering through posts of this nature.

This weekend I had yet another interminable (18 second) talk with Julia about how I would prefer that she not wear my glasses because I need them to see and drive her and Sebastian around and it really is in the best interest of her safety and my sanity that she not wear them. She seemed to understand and repeated "no wear mommy's gwasses -- big twouble." Perfect. Houston, we have comprehension! We then got ready for our big loop around the hood and I loaded the kids, the sippy cups, the lap blankets, and no glasses into the stroller and was just minding my own, listening to music, and pointing out all trillion of the blow up Christmas lawn ornaments our neighbors throw up every year when, after a few blocks, I looked down to see:
sneaky and disobedient or disobedient and dumb?

and a few minutes later ... giving her eyes a rest:

maybe she thinks they help bring out her feminine side ...

but I think she is wrong-o.
so wrong.

Other Julia-isms:

~ caring deeply about the state of her/my nails. She reports hang nails, too long nails, and scratchy nails the instant they surface on either party
~ caring deeply about the state of Sebastian's toe hygiene when he wakes up in the morning. She dutifully cleans out any sock lint that may have made a home in his toe crevices overnight
~ calling me "mommycakes" when it becomes blatantly obvious she has crossed one too many lines
~ furrowing her brow, getting all up in his face, and asking, "was wong, Bashy?" when Sebastian cries/whines
~ not letting anything stick out of her dresser drawers
~ employs a highly inefficient high-knee run on her tip toes if she needs to get somewhere quickly
~ tells me when she thinks my clothes are too tight 
~ when I ask her if she'll help me clean up her toys she always responds, "no, sank you."
~ when we are heading out the door she always says, "come on migos, come on!!"
~ still going strong with her desire to name the baby "Diego" if it happens to be a boy

Enough for today. Maybe for a lifetime? I think so.

I don't doubt your toddlers are cuter/less infuriating. I don't doubt it at all.


49 comments:

  1. employs a highly inefficient high-knee run on her tip toes if she needs to get somewhere quickly

    I just love this image.

    Your blog posts are the highlight of my day. My days are awesome - so this speaks VERY highly of your blog.

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    1. you are on a comment roll. I've loved all three this week -- and I fully expect you to show up at our doorstep whenst the baby is born. Ready to work.

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    2. I feel an undue amount of pressure to perform. That's what he said?!

      I would babysit or make delicious meals (all of which involve boxed macaroni and cheese) anytime for your clan. ANYTIME.

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  2. That last photo comparison pretty much made my day. And my kids are perfect, so I feel sorry for you. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go break up the children's production of Fight Club.

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  3. Mommycakes? Way to try and work the charm, Julia.

    And Diego is a better boy's name suggestion than the number one on Grace's list: Sister.

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  4. Sorta frightening/amazing how much she looks like Ralphy! I know she'll treasure that comparison when she gets older :)

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  5. oh my gosh, Grace, you make me laugh so hard. I love reading your blog! (:

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  6. This post absolutely made my day! Thank you for sharing the cuteness.

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  7. I totally saw the Ralphie resemblance before I even scrolled down far enough to see the pic...too funny!

    PS. He's kinda hot now! http://www.imdb.com/media/rm591235328/nm0082526

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  8. Oh my, so funny!! You are hilarious :)

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  9. I am in a meeting right now and people started to look over because I was laughing out loud...oops! busted.

    Little J, I am your biggest fan. And you're not the only one who wants to be just like your mommycakes.

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  10. I can't wait til Julia grows up and starts a blog writing about her reactions to all of these posts.

    And I think she wears the glasses because she wants to be just like her mommycakes!

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  11. Mommycakes! I love it! Kids are so clever... You always make me laugh, and then I'm forced to shove the phone at my husband and protest "you HAVE to read it! She's so funny!" only to be met with a blank face. Men don't get it...women with kids DEFINITELY do... makingaspeciallife.wordpress.com

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  12. Mommycakes...very ingratiating of you J. If Jordan suspects she's in trouble she slams her door in my face.

    I feel I could also use Julia's talent for lint-snatching because Jordan has gnarly toes in the morning. I smell a play date...

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  13. Only read inspiring blogs is code for "completely deluding herself that life is perfect." Which it isn't. Seriously... I can't stand blogs where everything in life is sunshine and daisies. You're either lying to yourself or lying to everyone else or really have that blessed of a life (which I don't think exists).

    I ooze optimism as you can tell.

    I love that Julia gets in Sebastian's face and then asks him what's wrong. Such a sibling thing to do. Good to know that stuff starts young. :)

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    1. I agree here with Natalie. Happy, peppy, nothing in life is wrong blogs are pure fiction and people who solely read then or write them are delusional. You tell it as it is, and give the world something to laugh about. I think the Julia-run image is my favorite. Buy her some faux glasses for Christmas so she and mommycakes can match. Couldn't be anything cuter.

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  14. Please, please, post a video of the high-knee runner. I am certain it will make me feel inspired and uplifted.

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  15. this post was full of all sorts of goodness. my favorite being mommycakes and all the juliaisms!

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  16. Ahahaha, the Ralphie comparison! It has us rolling over here!
    Perhaps that'd be a good name if you have a little dude???

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  17. I vote for a Julia reality tv show. I would be a faithful fan and even host viewing parties.

    I'm not kidding even a little bit.

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  18. Julia as Ralphie = highlight of my day. not counting when Ryder woke up this morning and i happened to be up early and he was ready to snuggle (my fav), then proceeded to pee through his diaper all over me. aside from that, highlight, right up there.

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  19. Thank you for sharing your humor, realities and love with all of us. I laugh out loud at Julia - she is truly a treasure. I too suggest a fake pair of glasses as a Christmas present...however, they will have to be reinforced at the hinges or she will surly break them and then have a complete melt-down. Believe it or not, this too will pass.

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  20. Love this post! Made me laugh out loud. Could she get any cuter? I think not!

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  21. At least she has name suggestions for the baby, my oldest is almost 3 and won't give me anything! I love how she tries to mommy Bashy, Regan is the same way with her little sister; good to know they are picking up on the good from us even if they pick up on the bad too :)

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  22. i *love* your stories about your kiddos! reminds me of when my boys were younger. julia in your glasses - hilarious. thanks for sharing - it makes me smile.

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  23. OMG, that resemblance is absolutely hilarious.
    I wish I could trade kids for a while, Julia sounds like a blast and a half.

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    1. you can pick which one of mine you want...

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  24. Maybe she steals your glasses because she actually needs glasses. Or she can just be like my kids and thinks it is funny to take them. I have already had to replace my glasses three times due to chubby hands stealing them.

    Also, I love your posts! I know it doesn't feel like it, but things do get better the older they get even if it seems like it will never happen. My four year old can now get breakfast for her younger siblings and even made me a lunch of string cheese, apple and orange (all the low things in the fridge) the other day. Hang in there!

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  25. Oh Mommycakes! This gave me a good laugh! Love you Juweeeahhh!

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  26. Yes. I shed a tear.5 when Ralphie's pic popped up. HILARIOUS.

    By the way, have you seen him all grown up? He looks like he could maybemaybenot be Bradley Cooper's chubby brother? http://cdn.showbizspy.com/static/SGG-0898432.jpg

    You're welcome :)

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  27. I love this post.
    Toddlers are funny and frustrating all wrapped into one!

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  28. omg the ralphie comparison is dead on. i love julia in glasses. and 'was wong, bashy??" so funny.

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  29. Ah yes, once they learn the power of "No thank you!" you need to stop asking and start telling them what to do. Learned that one the hard way, five times over ;)

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  30. this could be one of my all-time favorite posts. oh mommy cakes. she does look hilarious in the glasses, and very much resembles that christmas flick. well done.

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  31. Hahahahaha!! Julia and Ralphie! My Christmas is complete now. And I'm sitting here with my first cup of morning coffee (as opposed to my 3rd cup of afternoon coffee....!), reading your post and letting it brighten my day from the beginning! Merry Christmas, my friend.

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  32. Me again. I meant to mention yesterday that I would much rather read your comical exaggerated real-life blog, than some of the holier-than-thou blogs out there! So, please keep a-posting.

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  33. Grace, you are completely hilarious! I love it. Thanks for the smiles.

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  35. I've never posted on here before, despite my daily blog stalking of your family, but the Ralphie-Julia pic literally made me pee myself. A fellow FUS alum recommended I check out your blog a few years back; what a bummer our paths never crossed!

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  36. You killed me with the Ralphulia comparison! K-I-L-L-E-D!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  37. Thanks for the humor. I just came from Ana's, and between the two of you, you have totally turned my over-stressed before Christmas attitude right around. My whole family is grateful.

    And your little Julia is adorable.

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  38. mommycakes. hooo hoo! big twouble indeed. (mine 2nd is boy, littleJ's age, and I'm home for first time in mommying. it's a hoot, but reading you makes it a much better-understood, better enteretained hoot. thanks!)

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  39. She's an evil genius

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  40. she is too adorkable. especially in those glasses. AND i love the comparison to the best Christmas movie. I think I wish I could talk like her.

    (can you tell I'm behind on reading your blog, hence the blowing up of comment?)

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  41. My mom would have loved if we had been so diligent about not letting anything peek out of our drawers.

    She looks cute in the glasses but I always wonder how she can see (or maybe she just likes looking at a blurry world?).

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