Paradise, thy name is Ozark

15 July 2013

I didn't think there was anything more annoying and sticky and gross to clean up than formula. But there is! There always is, isn't there? And it is concocted with a mound formula on the floor and finished off with a nice and generously sprinkling of proud Sebastian urine. 

Bleeping Discovery Zone around here. Learn something new every second and all of THAT.

But I'm not here to teach you about all things gross. No, I'm here to tell you about the kindness and generosity of others because combined with our 4th of July road trip and this past weekend I think that we're going to make it through these last 2 weeks of the 3 month rotation stint-o-hell. We just might.

I know I'm a true millennial because I really have Facebook to thank for a lot of things. Obviously it reconnected Simace but it also helps me stalk the innocent and force them to be my friend. I saw that a college acquaintance of mine (we studied for a semester together in Austria .. WHY we didn't hang out is a conundrum for ALL) had moved to St. Louis so I sent Tara a pushy message and demanded that we hang out and even dragged her with me to Costco once - bless her, bless her. She and her husband Jeff put up with me and Simon when we get a sitter and turn into little panting puppies begging to be let out to socialize with other adults. And now ... weirdly ... they are moving to Dallas and don't think that we haven't entertained the idea of following them there when this whole residency nonsense is over and done wit. They can run but they can't escape our suffocating love. 

Anyway, Jeff's parents had never met us in the flesh but still let us come and visit them at their hideous house with this pathetic little backyard ...

Basically if we had to choose anywhere to go and visit (okay, barring family) we would go right back here. Even though it was just a weekend it felt like the most luxurious vacation because the kids had their own rooms to sleep in (hotel rooms are death traps for families with young children - unless your young children are nothing like ours) and dogs to feed and harass (I'm sorry, Hendrix!! - Sebastian doesn't know his own "gentle! please be GENTLE!!" strength) and "pillow presents" (I think Julia's heart burst right then and there in front of the bucket of goodies) waiting for them and the whole getaway felt like a straight up Christmas in July for the Pattons.

Behold it all.

^^^ that dog boarded the raft and set sail all by himself and it was one of the more entertaining moments of my adult life

^^^ the couple that should write a book on the art of hosting with a few chapters dedicated to catering to crazy families

 ^^^ not in this snap but earlier in the day Julia sat down and asked Jeff, "so, how was your day at work?" ... oh, I know she's my child but it still cracked me right up, up, and away.
^^^ still up for debate if that is a dragon or an "allifagator"

Some highlights:

+ the kids were terrified of water that touched above their ankles unless they were pressed up fully against a parent. I was shocked that Sebastian was such a little lady about the pool but it is just fine with me for the time being.

+ grilled nachos. they exist and they made them and they are my new favorite meal - breakfast, brunch, lunch, dinner, and dessert.

+ and all of the food. We were beyond spoiled with homemade waffles, bomb guacamole, octopus hot dogs for the kids (figuratively, don't worry), and much much much much MUCH more.

+ Tara's parents had us over for dinner on Saturday night and if there was a way to throw the entire meal and the house onto a Pinterest board ... I would because it was delicious and her decor was gorgeous.

+ Allergic. Julia's eyes puffed up and her nose went into faucet mode and she had a few hives on her face - she wasn't bothered at all but I went into "THAT MOM" mom and wondered if maybe it was the Nutella/hazelnuts? Dumb. Just the cat. A little capful of Benny fixed her right up and we can tack on her new found feline allergy to the long list of "her mother's daughter" traits (along with: irrational, emotional, and irrational again).

+ Julia LOVED Jeff's parents. She ran right into their arms which is something she doesn't even do to me unless she's suffered a life threatening injury like a paper cut. She thinks their both "so cute!" and whenever Susan wasn't around she'd start pestering us about her whereabouts. Maybe they'd be interested in running a little summer camp for toddlers? Wink.

+ Jeff's mom has saved tons of toys from Jeff and his sister's childhood so the kids were in My Little Pony heaven on earth. Sebastian was especially taken with the unicorn ... "moo?" he wondered. Yes.

+ I love Theo but there was always someone else willing to hold him which I also loved and he's having "always held" withdrawals today. Big time.

Simon won't get vacation for two more months and so this was absolutely the highlight of the summer thus far for us and we can't thank them enough for letting us descend and invade!

And now we're back to the grind. Formula-urine putty and all.


  1. Yay!! A fun weekend!! Glad you guys could get away and with great help and company!

  2. I'm hanging out with the wrong people. Amazing backyard!!!

  3. I don't suppose they asked if you could think of other little midwestern families that might want to come stay? Glad you got to have a fun getaway!!

  4. I want to go there!! Have they considered the bed and breakfast business??

  5. So very, very happy that you were all able to get away with the family. It look like a 5 star hotel!! How fabulous!! Just two more weeks my can do this...

    Now I need recipes...grilled nachos?? por que?? Must know how these are made.

    Happy Monday!!

  6. That looked amazing. Also, it makes my heart swell with happiness that you found amusement in a dog. For once.

  7. That *looks amazing. Not looked. Sorry I am dumb.

  8. We live in the Northeast Georgia mountains and I can tell you... you never get tired of those kind of views! Looks like a real resort. Glad y'all got a change of scenery. *hugs* heather

  9. How fun!!! Sounds amazing. I so wish we could have made it!

  10. Grilled nachos?? How? Details please, I'm salivating while waiting. What an awesome sounding weekend! I am glad you all had a little break! If I could get a reservation in the baby holder department, my arms would thank them :)

    Ugh, form-u-urine? Wow. That's hard to top!

  11. So nice! I love ppl that have great homes and are welcoming hosts! Need to work on that myself.

  12. I am s ure the "grandparents" enjoyed everything even more than you did. Thats what age can do to you!!

  13. So awesome! My best friend's parents have a mountain house in N. Georgia and I pray all the time to be invited up there!!

  14. I love that in the photo with Theo and Bash it looks like Theo is getting ready to bite a chunk out of his brothers arm- pay back baby;)

  15. umm...I'm only 2 hours away...can I come play next time?

    I mean that in the least-creepiest way. Although I now realize there isn't one. It boils down to me being envious. I want that house. And those people as some sort of relatives because the food and hospitality sound amazing.

  16. "moo?" he wondered. Yes.

    Worth the price of blog admission.

  17. You're right Grace, that house is hideous :D



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