some not terrible things

27 January 2013

I've been in the throes of a really ugly baditude lately. Really!! ugly!! Or as Julia would say, "riddy ugwee". I'm just kind of ready for the super tough days to be the exception and not the rule around here. I wouldn't be acting all sorts of Anne Shirley post Diana Barry's raspberry cordial/currant wine debac if only Simon's schedule were a little more forgiving, if only my clothes would just fit semi-properly, if only all three kids could stop timing their wake up times to perfectly coincide every single morning, and if only it wasn't the worst kind of weather ever: COLDER THAN CURSE. If .......... times a trill.

So ... I've been really dreading this weekend with every fiber of my broody being because Simon is working so many MANY hours. Fortunately I've (finally) come to realize that the anticipation of these types of weekends is usually worse than the actual weekend. Of course I start the anticipation a solid 5-7 full days prior to the awful because my name is Grace and my childhood heroine was Rainbow Bright.

Cutting to the cheery chase ... soon. Here is a list of some surprisingly happyish things that have been going on around here. Just let me stray into the land of optimism and promise for a few ...

We got to visit Simon twice today I think the van could easily get itself to the hospital sans driver by now. Julia's thing of the day yesterday was a friend's birth announcement which she (of course!) clutched and took to the hospital to visit Simon. On the way out tonight she purposefully opened a drawer in one of the lobby side tables and retrieved said announcement. I guess she had tucked it away for safekeeping away from big bad Bash? Hopefully she starts depositing some other 'things of the day' in her secret drawer as well (little Dora doll, medium Dora doll, and big Dora doll .... for starters).

Julia-led potty training I know. She's been asking and I've been obliging. I don't expect it to last and I think I'll probably never leave the house with her not diapered but ... it's a start.

Theo takes a pacifier sort of for short periods of time. I really really appreciate it because the Julia-led potty training requires a lot of Grace's time and talent.

Nine dollar boots from Forever XXI and they don't even have that signature plastic heel that's meant to look like wood. My trips to the hospital cafeteria just got a little bit fancy and ridiculous looking.

Two songs on repeat this one (the coolest. I played the violin many moons ago but now I wish I'd taken up the cello. One of the kids can do it for me ... perfect) and this one (judge me, please).

I worked out for 15 unenthusiastic minutes this morning in between runnnnning upstairs to replace Theo's pacifier and breaking up the 99 fights that Julia and Sebastian (HOW? Sebastian knows two words) got into. I didn't do much more than march in place and lift one three pound weight as high as my clavicle one time but again ... a start.

I made something sort of healthy because while I'm not ready to give up my multiple daily handfuls of chocolate chips, spoonfuls of peanut butter, or general gluttony altogether I saw that Janssen had made these No-Bake Brown Butter Quinoa Bars and I was intrigued. We'll see if they pass the Simon "I hate quinoa" test tomorrow.

Julia is making a concerted effort to say "Sebastian"and it sounds exactly like "Sir Bastard".



  1. I read this while rocking my baby back to sleep and that last one had me literally laughing out loud. Of course that woke up the baby, but "sir bastard" is the funniest thing...

    God bless you on your long weekend!!

  2. sir bastard.

    woman, you crack me up.

    Just know, for all of the humour and witty brilliance that you are beautiful and slim and your babies love you. there, i just gushed. how embarrassing.

    xo em

  3. p.s husbands working too many hours is a fast track to insanity.

    go with it.

    xxx ;)

  4. It is hard. It's really hard. Husbands working crazy hours just make it that much harder. It's ok to whine. We can take it. We're mothers. And, it's not a competition. Yes, the mother of quads whose husband just deployed probably *does* have it worse but that doesn't mean that what you're doing isn't hard, too.

    You're right. It took me several years to figure out that the anticipation is even worse. I took to actively blocking out the fact that my husband would be going out of town.

    As to your clothing not fitting... you currently look far more fabulous than I and my youngest is 2.5 and he's been weaned for 6 months. At this point post partum, I felt I had accomplished something if I had brushed my hair.

    It will get better. I promise.

  5. Your inner STL might be showing with your second song(:

  6. I love those boots, now I want to go to Forever 21.
    I hate that it's been so rough for you, I really wish I could come and offer some help/company.

    Postpartum days are kind of akin to being too drunk at a party, I don't even remember the early days right after any of the girls births... even Lucy, it's all gone. And Mike has never had to work that many hours, I am absolutely positive I would have completely lost it, you are amazing for not completely losing it.

    Here's hoping that you repress how hard it is/was.

  7. And first laugh of the day goes to - Sir Bastard. Thanks for that.

    I don't know how you do it, but I love how you ARE doing it. (If that makes sense?) You are much stronger than I am. I would be a terrible, crying resentful mess when things were horrible. Go Grace! Hugs through the computer screen!

    And the boots! Awesome.

  8. Oh, Grace. I'm pretty sure that we (and by we I mean the childless and easy-street dwellers) don't begrudge you a little complaining ever, let alone on a Simon-less weekend. You are super mom and do it all looking amazing and hauling 3 tiny Pattons.

    Our admiring hats are off to you, the queen of hilarious. And so ends another ridiculously sappy comment.

  9. While I loved the cello song, comments from my kids were, "This is kinda boring", "This is giving me a headache", and "Why are we listening to this?". They want our song on repeat, "This Girl is on Fire" by Alicia Keys.

  10. Is there anything cuter than a little baby with a paci? Is there anything more blissful than the silence that follows? ;-)

  11. Love Anne with an E and the cordial mishap, Love Thrift Shop (on repeat), love that you make time to post while in the "depths of despair". You must be a kindred spirit! ;)

  12. "they don't even have that signature plastic heel that's meant to look like wood." It needed to be said. Hang in there. We're just starting to pull out of the super horrible nights, so there is hope. Although, trying to feed the baby and supervise the potty training at the same time is likely to kill me.

  13. Love the Anne reference! And everything else in this post! You guys are all super cute. New boots in the post-partum wardrobe days = genius - but you look amazing! :)

  14. Thank you for the Anne reference. And Sir Bastard, good times.

  15. I want to know what Basher finds so funny in that book. I know I've read it a lot of times, but perhaps he is looking at it through a lens I have yet to explore.

  16. That second picture is a total framer. I think it should go on the wall next to Julia's nipple pinching one.
    Also, loving the boots! I need to go least e-shopping sometime soon. My jeans were a little bit too tight/outdated/ugly before I got pregnant, so I think I have a valid excuse.

    Anyway, the call weekend is over now, right? Hope it went better than anticipated!

  17. Sir Bastard.... Ha ha ha!

    I am locked in the car with my three rugrats during the World's-longest-Liturgy. This post made me laugh so hard I cried!

  18. Glad your weekend wasn't SO bad!
    Yay for Julia and potty training! You seem to have the right attitude - just don't get your hopes up too much and then you won't be too devastated when it doesn't last...or you will be pleasantly surprised!
    Haha Shane is an "I hate quinoa" person...I have tried making it in all different shapes and sizes but the most I have gotten out of him is "its not SO bad!"

  19. If anyone was to ask me who my heroes are, Grace Patton would be at the top of my list. Not even joking a little bit.

  20. Sir Bastard. Haha. Love it.

    Hugs, Mama! We had #3 about 4 months into Mike's third year. It sucked. I totally sympathize.

    It WILL get better. I'd mutter that to myself over and over and over again for months that year. It will get better it will get better it will get better. Like the little Heidi that could or something. Or the crazy lady everyone else avoided, now thinking about it. hmmmm maybe that's why so many people would cross the street to walk on the opposite side. I thought they were just being nice and getting out of the way of my massive boat-a-stroller thing......

  21. Can you please get her to say "Sir Bastard" on camera? Hope potty training is going well, we're working on it here, too. Wish I could help you out, esp during the call weekends. I don't know how you do it- you must be a stronger person than me!

  22. Ohhhh, I die over Julia on the potty with the book. That is one to save.

    I really reeeeally hope your weekend gets better and goes by quickly! Sending prayers and love your way! xoxo

  23. I wholly second the request for an audio of the "SIr Bastard". . .it harkens back to a time not so long ago when a certain 3 year old in my care wanted some more Pepperidge Farm Poisson and it sounded a lot like "Peas may I have some more bitches." Archived. Hang in!!!

  24. Can I chime in on wanting audio of Sir Bastard?? First laugh of the day for me, too. Hang in there, Grace! You're amazing and you manage to find the funny in everything!

  25. 1. Love the Anne of GG reference.
    2. I have those same boots! Best spent $10 recently
    3. And I had an epic Rainbow Bright cake for my 4th birthday

    Basically, this post really spoke to me. ;)

  26. Hah! I spent last week hauling my Julia-aged daughter to the toilet midstream with my Theo-aged baby in the other arm. Enormous pain but totally worth it. Only diapering one kid is like a paradise vacation.

  27. how'd you like those bars? I was fairly impressed.

  28. I enjoyed your Anne Shirley and Rainbow bright references. And I enjoy your blog always.

  29. Thank you for making me lol. And I like to jam to Macklemore too ;).

  30. Wow! Julia on the potty! Awesome!

  31. Wait, you showered AND got dressed? I work full time and only manage showering when Hannabert is dropped off at daycare by his be honest, I sometimes opt for more sleep on those days.

    1. Meaning facing the outside world isn't a strong motivator

  32. I used to put on like 6 pairs of socks and roll them down to look like rainbow bright's boots (leg Warner's?) I don't know...anyways, love the RB reference and you have beautiful children!

  33. I too once played violin and always wish I had taken up cello... maybe when I'm old and retired someday. But that cello song is awesome.

    Also love the thrift shop song. If I judge you... well, then maybe I shouldn't tell you that no less than 3 people have posted it to my Facebook wall because it "reminds them of me"... not sure what to make of that.

    As much as I usually am pro-anunciation of words properly, I truly don't ever want Julia to say anything other than "Bashy" or "Basher" for Sebastian's name because I can just picture it being super cute.

  34. Her 'sir bastard' saying would be great for the vine. Just sayin..
    You are one super momma to be dealing with three babes/toddlers. Yesterday I did not leave the couch.. These babies just wanted to be held for the day's entirety. Dry Cheerios and coffee is all I ate all day..

    And of course their 'needy' day was on a day that Jordan was at work. Of course.

    Hang in there, beautiful!

  35. Don't even talk to me about Macklemore. Obsessed. Also, it seems like you need a chuckle.

    And finally, a 3-song Tiny Desk production with Mack: yay good-mood music!

  36. Okay, it took me to visits to read your whole post, but here I am back again to comment! I LOVE that J. has been hiding things in a hospital drawer! That is so cute. And your boots are awesome. $9 sounds about right for my shoe budget, so I might have to take a look...

  37. Your babe is so cute.
    Thrift shop song is stuck in my head every single day.

    Hilarious post as always.

  38. Hi Grace, I didn't even see you here in the Depths of Despair, where I've been residing since January 2nd. Welcome. BTW my brother heard that thrift store song and texted me in the middle of the night demanding I listen to it because it REMINDED HIM OF ME. Nice, right?

  39. Your blog always makes me smile, and laugh, and brings back memories of when my now grown children were doing the same things. I wish I had been wise enough to write all of it down! Good for you!

  40. I was planning on making those quinoa bars as well. How did they turn out?

    Hahaha! Sir Bastard!

  41. ps. love basher's feet on the toilet. ryder loves climbing up on ours, but only when my straightener is on (read: hot).
    and props to julia for remembering her hiding places! ryder hid his toothbrush for a week.. we couldn't find it anywhere.. then he waltzed into his room, went to the closet, climbed behind the $600 BOB jogging stroller that has never been removed from the closet and grabbed his toothbrush. right where he left it, duh. he took tom's video game out of the xbox last week and we still can't find that one. wish i'd thought of hiding it first!

  42. I seriously love you for linking that thrift dang catchy, and I'm a little obsessed with it. I tried playing it at my parent's house over Christmas and my Dad nearly had a heart attack. Also, that photo of J reading the calendar on the pot is so hysterical and awesome.



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