While I was watching the Bachelor Simon said (with an air of disgust), "thank goodness you have the kids around to bring your IQ up a little."
Upon hearing that most of his siblings were on Instagram Simon said, "what?! I thought that was just something housewives did."
After taking a shower and getting dressed Simon came out of the bathroom and said, "my muscles are looking a lot bigger and it is absolutely from carrying your kids around."
When he asked how I made some granola bars and I started by listing quinoa as the first ingredient Simon interrupted and said, "just stop."
When he caught me smiling mid-conversation Simon seriously said, "why the wry smile? are you undressing me with your eyes?"