"I'm just not used to the clamor"

09 December 2013

... said Simon last night as he wrapped up an entire weekend at home (no hospital reprieve for the weary) and the kids shouted and sprinted circles around the house because .... welcome to winter.

(stolen from a dated Insta but I love it more with every passing day)

(the wall had totally peeled off due to a leaky window??? Simon fixed it right up like a boss. I thought we should hire someone but obviously I stand corrected until the end of time.)

Sometimes I daydream about the end of residency (18.65 months - no, I'm not counting ... I'm obsessing) and I think real hard about some aspects of these years that I'll miss.

And then I think harder.

I dig deep and with a little help from my inner Pollyanna I'm able to come up with a few things and one of them is how much we appreciate when Simon is home. Not that I'll never not appreciate him being home but as five motherhating weeks of night float loom in the very near future a weekend of no call felt downright glutinous. Glutinous? I'm keeping it.

We didn't do anything crazy but we (he) got a lot of house stuff done and we (he) decked the living room with our faux fir. Julia is really into Christmas and asks every five minutes if Santa is still in his chair at the mall (reason for the season, what?) and isn't our Christmas tree just so great/pretty/beautiful? So the ceremonial put together of the three piece pre-lit was especially enjoyable this year with narration by Julia, garbled parroting of her narration by Sebastian, and utter indifference by Theo.

Oh and we pulled out the nativity scene for the first time since our first married Christmas ...

This set had survived 20+ years and seven children under my parents roof but four years and only two showings under the care of the Pattons and we have a little something for your nightmares.

(They've since been super glued and you can't even tell, I promise.)

We have a lot of leftover paint from the living room and so Simon painted the bathroom at my request and we bid the happiest of farewells to the citrus walls and I sewed three different curtains (the first two being too short because me and measuring are a match made in Loveland) and really darkened the space up with my choice of navy fabric. I'll show you - look forward to that post coming live and direct sometime this year. Har har har.

Ah. The biggest news is that Theo is finally a mobile little human.

I am mostly anti-crawling because people tend to frown on children crawling around public arenas (hospitals, airports, parking lots - it's weird) and the second a baby discovers that he or she can crawl ... game over. So over. They want to crawl everywhere and eat all the cigarette butts at the park and make you look downright negligent. But Theo had become the most miserable little boy just sitting.

And sitting. And sitting. And he had resigned himself to happily sitting for a mere seven minutes a day (this blog is littered with exaggerations but seven minutes? seven minutes is not one of them) and then whine-crying until I held him all of his other waking hours and it was starting to thin my will to live. I even wrote a post about it but then he started crining and I never got it posted and no, I'm not rushing him because he is eleven months old and Sebastian was sprinting at this age and let the comparison games begin. They've begun. And you're behind, Theodore.

I can see the care written all over your mug.

But now he is doing the sitty scoot with a sprinkle of army crawl and he knows to head straight for the stairs and the bathroom whenever he is set loose and bring it on. Bring it all on.

So that was the weekend. Mostly.

And as a reward for skimming through all of that ... for any single readers (or not single - I still did my weekly laugh out loud during el clip) out there ... my boo Caitlin shot this my way earlier. Hilario. But she says it's the truth.

And these are grossly addicting. Don't make them. Just don't.


  1. The joys of having the man of the house home for more then just a high five before bedtime! And you sew…how? Just how? You are winner winner chicken dinner in my book.

  2. You just had to post that cookie link, didn't you? We (Joe, I was sick) decorated this weekend, too, and Grace freaked out in happiness. Fun but so exhausting - esp the million Christmas related queries.

  3. Headless Joseph and Mary.... hahahahahaha!!! And I couldn't WAIT for mine to crawl and walk. Especially the younger ones. Because all they want to do is what their brothers and sisters are doing. So much easier.

  4. Aziz speaks too truthfully of my life.

    Also when I was in high school a babysitting for some family friends, I decapitated a wise man from a sooooper nice nativity set. Pro tip for sitters: the minions always know where the crazy glue is located.

  5. I feel you about the mobility, my oldest didn't move on his own until he was a year old (!!). His preferred mode of transportation until then was for me to hold his hands so he could walk places. And he never did crawl; he had a hilarious bum-scoot though. :)

  6. LOL. steve says the same of his breyer horses. "they lasted my entire childhood. but not the hunt kids" we have a lot of legless breyer horses not-galloping around.

  7. I so love all your posts.So glad you guys had a good weekend together.

  8. I'm new here but, first picture I saw was of your little boy get his toenails done. It reminds me of my 2 yr old grandson who absolutely must get his nails done when his 5 yr old sister gets hers as well from my older daughters :)

  9. Mobility = game changer = mama don't likey... but when my 15 month old was still not walking and I was a hot trimester preggo was BEGGING the kid to walk. She set the high bar in the comparison games. Hopefully this new little bebe won't set the family bar on the lower end and start walk/run/chasing after big sissies at 9 months...

  10. Love the booty scoot! Yay Theo!


    I think your boo Caitlin and I might get along.

  12. Aww, glad you guys had a weekend together…And yes, you will look back with some fond memories, I assure you. Although my husband will admit that he can't really remember our first two boys' first few years of life. Sad, but true.
    And keep in mind--He'll still be gone a lot when he is done with this residency thing…He'll just actually get paid real money for it :)
    Theo is so stinking cute! aloha

  13. I just want to "borrow" Theo for a couple of hours and spoil him rotten with cuddles ;)

  14. 568 days until July 1, 2015, to be exact. Not that my husband tells me the number pretty much every single day (and he has since it was over 1,000) (and he's internal medicine, which apparently is not nearly as horrible as obgyn...)

  15. I've said it before and I'll keep saying it until it happens. Please write a book! That way I could read your hilarious writing every day. Please. Give the people what they want!

  16. I love Julia's concern for ol' St. Nick in his chair at the mall. Isn't that just what being what an adult with a job feels like, sitting there for endless hours and hearing about what everyone else wants?

    And go, Bash, go!

  17. Easton caught sight of Santa at the mall this weekend and each hour since has proclaimed "it's kissmiss! It is I saw Santa at the mall!" So, a suffer pal you have in me! I have also peeled somewhere around 45 toms of clementines for him to distract him from Santa questions. Hudson just started crawling with his tummy off the ground and a fellow mom (to only one child) scoffed at me when I mumbled "oh shirt" (cleaned up) upon witnessing it for the first time at a play date. Sorry lady, two mobile is too much for this fun loving mama!

  18. I laughed out loud in my lonely cube when I scrolled down to the picture of the nightmare Nativity scene. Thank you for that. Our little dude discovered the Army crawl on Thanksgiving and we've said goodbye to ever taking our eyes off of him again.

  19. Have you given thought to what the "End of Residency Post" is going to look like? Or will it be a series? A full-length feature film? You have time to plan. I'll be waiting.

  20. your writing style is new and refreshing when a lot of lifestyle/mom/fashion blogs are starting to sound the same (and yes, i subscribe to many, many, many). i laughed and cringed A LOT to the recent furnace story. so glad i found you via putting me together.



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