title schmitle

05 April 2011

not dead.

not ill.

not inventing the first baby straight jacket for the purpose of not dislocating both shoulders while wrangling an acrobatic baby in church.

I've been flying.

You read that right: flying with the FlyLady of course! For the 99.9999999999% of the population that can keep their house clean without the help of a gimmicky (albeit free/gratis/no lettuce required) website that sends no fewer than 89 helpful email reminders a day. . . good for you. I require a virtual fairy mother to tell me what to do every day. She has me doing crazy things like scrubbing the inside of our trashcans, cleaning under kitchen appliances and putting on shoes in the morning. Normally my "flightplan" is finished before my first cup of coffee has been chugged but I got a little carried away yesterday and went nutso with a roll of trash bags, a bottle of Pledge (first time I'd held a can since I was doing my loathed Friday chores at the age of 12) and an unhealthy amount of paper towels (the environment forgave me..don't worry your pretty little furrowed brows about that deet).

The house is not sparkling but is looking better than ever and last week's Grace is staring curiously at this week's Grace as she cleans every glass surface in the house and stays on top of the laundry for the first time since the beginning of her laundry doing days.

Naysay away...but I am a lazy, lazy lady when it comes to housework (I believe a one mother of mine said something to the effect of, "how do you live in this filth?!" when she came to visit recently) and I am a sold believer on the wonders of the FlyLady. 


So...there is that. 

Desperate times have procured some desperate measures in the 'Julia is indeed a female' department.

The past two trips we have taken to the grocery store have elicited two comments, 
"What a nice young man!" and,"What a snuggly little boy!"

I can tell you that she is not a man nor is she snuggly...

here was her masculine attire :
never not happy camping...that little guy
(please note the feminine purple ruffles and pink flower applique on shirt)

We worked with her wardrobe and make up and came up with this look we like to call:
 ugly pretty
want to emulate?
ingredients: a little blush, marker earrings, her staple mascara and an understated floral accessory
That should show them. 

I hesitate to even show my latest clothing refurbish but obviously not hesitating enough as here I goooooooooooo
Excuse my good looks. 
They tend to come out of hiding when I least expect...
Another pair of navy pants paired with his and hers athletic socks. 

nothing crazy:
just some run of the mill tapered pants paired with some bad choice Fiestaware footwear. 

Oh weird! Did you hear that?
I'm pretty sure it was the earth shattering but I can't be sure. 


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

and I'm off to enjoy a family-sized can of soup. 
My favorite.

Have a nice afternoon.


10 comments:

  1. i'm pretty much in trouble here at work by the amount of laughter escaping.

    several things.
    1) flylady. interesting. and my house is filth right now. FILTH. i sprayed the inside of the trashcan this morning and wiped the counteres which caused me to be about 13 minutes "late" to work.
    2) love the dis to the environment. T would be proud.
    3) do you really apply mascara? hysterical. and re: youknowwhat-ugly.
    4) i was going to point out the mismatched socks but i see you labeled them as his and hers. giggles ensue.

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  2. I'm flying with you! All bathroom sinks and toilets this morning! Scrubbed kitchen sink-again. Filth? I would never say that! Did I?? Just remember, "You're not behind, so don't try to catch up. Just begin where you are." - The Flylady

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  3. I am going to have to try this flylady out.... Filth would be a very welcome compliment at my house. Seriously died laughing at J's makeover- good job- unless/until someone asks you if you decided to play dress up with your little boy. <3

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  4. I signed up!!! I am starring at my kitchen sink...I think I need to rent a bulldozer to empty its contents BEFORE I can attempt shining it. And you need cleaning supplies to clean it with right? Add that to my list too...
    Like yourself, I am, in the words of my neat freak husband.. a slob. Putting things away makes me feel unorganized.Or that is how I rationalize it.. whatevs. If you feel 46 I def. feel like I deserve some serious senior citizens discounts. being a mom has def. aged me at least 4 decades.

    I dont know if I would call it "talking" as much as taunting but I am so desperate for her first word to be mama that I am taking it! (unless she actually says "mama" first in a few months then this will just be some random baby noise..)

    I just realized I am carrying on a chat with you in response to your comment on my blog here on your blog... sorry, maybe the time has come to exchange emails? We can have the girls skype for play dates while we take our respective naps.

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  5. hahahah! that is the biggest flower i have ever seen. i love the second picture of her begging to get it off her head!! so so funny. i like your pants..you have a million pairs of bootcut pants i notice....what are you going to do if they ever come back in style? you've skinnied them all.
    going to check out this Flylady right now. Bettina certainly seems to be an advocate.

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  6. So glad you are enjoying flylady and all of her purple glory. She changed my life as I am one of the suckiest housekeepers of all time. Also, I am VERY jealous of your mad sewing skills. Maybe if I could sew I wouldn't have given myself a second degree burn hot gluing fabric today.

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  7. Hahaha, I totally laughed out loud at "ugly pretty." I totally feel her pain - I was hairless until age 2. Just some fluffs on the top of my head. My mom used to tape bows to the little hair that I had just to prove that I was a girl!

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  8. You are hilarious!
    I say more power to you for conquering the housekeeping...Simon better give you a pretty allowance for that.
    I am sorry I didn't get to comment the other day...I am here!!
    Love your blog. You are too funny- you always have been. I have gotten many a-needed laughs here!
    Thanks,chica!

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  9. MMMMMMMascara!!

    I love when it comes out for a play date with Juilia.

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  10. I watched FlyLady's Shiny Sink Video, cried like a baby...

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