In an effort to halt Sebastian's frequent nightly wake ups Simon tried bribery and said,
"Just as soon as you start sleeping through the night ... I'll love you even more than I do now."
While we were checking out after (stupidly) purchasing potty training supplies the cashier handed us our receipt and coupons and Simon said, "Oh, look - we got a coupon for free wine and Xanax ... because we're batpoop* crazy."
On Julia's preference to slip a little tongue in when she kisses Sebastian, her dolls, and her parents, Simon said, "rated PG-13."
*family friendly blog censoring