what was that song Lamb Chop used to sing?

18 October 2013

Here are the cold hard facts with nary a whiff of whine: Simon woke up at 4am yesterday so that he could run to the hospital and round on his patients and then catch a flight to "Saint Vegas" (as Julia calls Sin City ... ) for a conference. He'll return late tonight and head into work bright AND early tomorrow morning for a quick 24 hour shift. So, Simon has a lot to complain about and I should be reveling in ALL of this quality time I'm getting with the children. Okay ... maybe just a quarter tsp of a complaint ... it's feeling a little bit like the marathon that ne-hever ends at this point and to be perfectly honest I'll be rilllll happy when we are in Mass with crazy no-sleep hangovers battling Sebastian's flailing limbs on Sunday morning.

We'll get there.

And then we'll hit up a call weekend next weekend as well. November should be pretty, I guess.

So to break up the thumb twiddling that moms with smallish children tend to do in between allllll of their downtime I took the troops to the regular grocery store last night. We were out of yogurt which is Theo's lifeblood these days and I was in the mood to herd cats in a public place.

I busted out my favorite piece out of outerwear: the vest. I carefully wiped the front down with a baby wipe, threw size 5 shoes on Theo (he wears a size 2) who seems to have no matching socks ever and off we trotted.


I can hear it now ...
"have you heard of the blog, Camp Patton?"
"oh, hmmm is that the one where she only ever types about taking her kids grocery shopping and posts incessant photos of herself in the mirror?"
"yes, it's awful."

(Hair tutorial? I knew you'd ask. Soon!!)

Sometimes I exercise my indulgent parenting skills and let the kids pick one thing to take in the car ... Julia went the unpredictable blankie and sippy route (two things, indulgenter!!) and Sebastian went the traditional dirty cookie sheet route ...

Julia is mothering from the sidelines, "is that your final decision? okay, but you'll have to live with it all the way to the store."

It was a mostly uneventful trip aside from Julia's impromptu dance recital she threw together in the juice/dairy aisle. By the looks of her moves you'd think she was getting down to some Ace of Base or maybe a little Macklemore?


Wrong and wronger. Just the softest of jazz. Kenny G. wannabe was her musical muse.


And Julia sniffing out every single piece of Dora merchandise. Every single one. The balloons, the beanie Doras, the foaming handwash, the other set of balloons, the plates, the cups, the fruit snacks, the everything. It's really just a deathtrap for fatigued and weary mothers. I only caved on the cookie because the promised free cookies were all gone. Still -- I know I'm a massive sucker. I do.

Bash managed to finish his entire cookie before we made it to the checkout line but still dutifully and honestly plopped the soggy plastic wrapper on the conveyor belt before I noticed. The high school cashier was thrilled to death.

And we came home and I unvested myself to find that the back of the vest was covered in spit up? yogurt? something from the tepid spring. Whatever. You only life once and retroactive humiliation is a virtue and all of that. All of it.

Anyway, no - it hasn't been terrible and there have been no oil spills or bleeding foreheads or maybe I'm speaking too soon. Please let that not be the case, patron of interminable parenting shifts. I decided to be a fun mom last night and let Julia sleep with me. Right. We settled in and between tossing and turning I thought it was a weird coincidence that she was awake and staring at her mom every time I turned to look at her. Finally at 6am, with blood shot eyes she confessed that she hadn't slept at all so I popped her in her bed where she slept all morning. And is now napping again. So - my hopes and dreams of she and Sebastian sharing a room at some point are momentarily dead.

BUT after a week of acting as though he was cutting all four of his wisdoms at once Theo popped his fifth tooth so now he should stop grinding his first four (PLEASE) and he shall be the happiest baby on all of the blocks forever and ever, amen. Right?

Fib with me.

Right!


36 comments:

  1. Cookie sheet?! I'm dying. Love that kid. My Sebastian wants to take the pink bike everywhere. I don't know what is worse. That people think he's a girl or that they are sad a little boy is carrying around a big pink bike.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Massive suckers and super cavers are the best types of moms. I read that on a mug somewhere...probably a mug I gave to my whiniest child just to hush them.

    I think some how, all of Theos matches are here in Michigan, because Hudson only has one sock of every pair.

    My kids envy yours and their indulgent mom, this mean mama wouldn't drag a cookie sheet in the car. (Or at least I haven't yet.) Well wishes during your solo mama times, as always!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. I am dying over the cookie sheet...makes me feel bad I didn't let my son take the strainer to michaels this morning!! And that little Julia has some mooooves! Haha.

    ReplyDelete
  4. You make me smile every time I read your blog. My kids are a bit older now (8, 6, 5, and 3mo) but oh my I remember the days of the 4yo, 2yo, and 1yo! Wishing you well as you manage the ups and downs. And thank you for writing about it all with such a sense of humor!

    ReplyDelete
  5. OMG - I love that girl SO much!!! Is that your final choice, Bash..?!! Bwahahahaha!! Seriously, I laughed out loud. And the free cookie mention made me wax nostalgic for grocery shopping with my former littles. Not.

    ReplyDelete
  6. haha oh I love this post. and yeah I could use that hair tutorial right now ;) if only you could see the disaster i've got on my head currently

    ReplyDelete
  7. the cookies sheet kills me! such an inventive and adventurous one Mr Bash is. Loved Miss Julia's impromptu dance recital. Love it. Smooth jazz obviously moves her...deeply. LOL! Theo's smiles just make me happy. Hang in there Mama. You can do this thing. I know you can!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Oh my, I just soak in every one of your posts and it is ever refreshing to know I'm not the only one doing. . . .whatever we call what we do. Thanks!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. oh, thank YOU. Thanks so much for reading!!

      Delete
  9. The cookie sheet just kills me. Only your child Grace. This was the funniest post between the grocery store dancing, the waking up to someone staring at you, Julia's mothering. Hysterical. Glad you can see the humor in every day parenting.

    ReplyDelete
  10. The cookie sheet is an excellent choice, Bash. Maybe he's trying to subtly tell you he wants you to bake? Grace and Julia would be friends - she also likes to break it down in the grocery store aisles. The photo of you and Theo is the sweetest!! Good luck this weekend!

    ReplyDelete
  11. Was so admiring your hairdo and then you mentioned the tutorial. CAN'T WAIT. post pregnancy hair is kkkkkilling me!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha. I was kidding! hopefully you were too!

      postpartum hair is the WORST. I'm trying to refrain from chopping mine off .... TRYING.

      Delete
  12. I've refrained from all the Julia Fan Girl style coveting but seriously... I think I could pull off that look she did today. You should do a link up for grownups to match Julia's style one day. Not that you need blog ideas or anything. My blog pretty much consists of trips to the grocery store or doctor and pictures of my cats. And yours is all full of trips to the grocery store and... well, anyways. Bash and the cookie sheet is the best thing I've seen all day. <3 that kid!

    ReplyDelete
  13. Love the cookie sheet. My Michael prefers hangers, hehe.

    ReplyDelete
  14. The cookie sheet + julia staring at you everytime you opened your eyes...hilarious!!! I love your kids :)

    ReplyDelete
  15. Kenny G always makes me want to boogie.... gotta love grocery music. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  16. Hilaaaaarious LOL! One of the best posts :) Cookie sheet. COOKIE SHEET lolol

    ReplyDelete
  17. You are such a fun mom that you let them bring things in the car! I do somehow have so much near Ryan's seat because that whole, "Chris, I'll clean the car today," promise keeps breaking, but most of the time when we leave the house, Ryan has to drop whatever it is so "he doesn't lose it." Fun mom, you! Boring mom, me!

    ReplyDelete
  18. Sebastian is smart. You never know when you're going to need to bake some emergency cookies!

    ReplyDelete
  19. The baking sheet made me laugh out loud. :)

    ReplyDelete
  20. I love the cookie sheet! If you mentioned free cookies BEFORE they picked their "one" item, it makes total sense and he's a genius. What grocery store employee handing out free cookies would give a tot with an empty cookie sheet just one cookie? Your son has got some cookie sense about him ;)

    ReplyDelete
  21. It must be a rough week/month for all da mawms. Seeing Sebastian carrying the cookie sheet out to the car hit some delirious chord in my brain and had tears of hysterical laughter rollin. We attempted the regular grocery store today but didn't make it past the parking lot, where my middle child just sagged to the concrete and remained. This stuff be tuff.

    ReplyDelete
  22. laughed out loud thrice. Just thought you should know in case you keep a tally of how many time people tell you they literally "laughed out loud." And urgh...the teeth grinding stage. I forgot about that.
    p.s. Julia's coat and hair? Killing me with cuteness. Every time I convince myself I'm totally okay with having all boys... *le sigh* Sometimes I think the powers that be know I'm too lazy to ever learn how to french braid hair, so boys it is. :)

    ReplyDelete
  23. the cookie sheet. oh my goodness. laughing so hard.

    ReplyDelete

  24. Omg, laughing so loud over that cookie sheet I just woke my fiance up, no joke. Too good.You can make it this weekend!!

    ReplyDelete
  25. I was so entertained by Bash taking a cookie sheet in the car I've been sharing it with anyone who will listen. Kids crack me up....most of the time. We've found our kids much more entertaining now that they're talking. Love the Julia posts.

    ReplyDelete
  26. You had me at dirty cookie sheet. And I can't wait for the hair tutorial.

    All laughing and jokes aside you are a freakin saint and I applaud you. I wish I had your sense of humor in the face of such madness that toddlers are.

    ReplyDelete
  27. Since you got it stuck in my head I will share it back with you-- Lamb Chops was my childhood! I too died at the cookie sheet picture. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VZNaecq_rpU

    ReplyDelete
  28. Love.love.love your blog. I'm sure you know this, but the sacrifices you and Simon are making are so appreciated. I just had a baby last week (my second, thanks to NaPro!) and I was so touched by the dedication of my OB. I also had fabulous residents, and each of these doctors is now part of our story. You guys will touch more lives than you can even imagine. Thanks for doing the hard stuff!

    ReplyDelete
  29. Okay, I have to ask. Are all of your grocery store/Costco pictures via the cell phone? Or do you carry around your camera in public? Picturing a mom with a DSLR hanging around her neck in Target provides a whole new level of fun to your outing pics.

    ReplyDelete
  30. There are no words, really. I just can't. I look forward to your posts and am never disappointed. I only hope that one day my son will ask to carry a baking sheet with him in the car to run errands.

    ReplyDelete
  31. Seriously . . . how DO we get kids to share a room??? My kids are SUCH light sleepers. When you figure it out, will you tell me, please?

    ReplyDelete
  32. Literally crying laughing @ hair tutorial and the oversized shoes on lil Theo!! Crying real tears of laughter!!! I'm not a mama yet, but when I become one (God willing!), I will have to remember to keep a sense of humor, because I know it is NOT an easy job. Well done, Grace!

    ReplyDelete
  33. Oh how I love that photo of you and theo in the mirror! It's perfect. The cookie sheet made me lol. Thanks for the laughs!

    ReplyDelete

 

Camp Patton © All rights reserved · Theme by Blog Milk · Blogger