Simon Says

13 August 2013

"please make sure I'm not in the shot."

"delete that picture you just took."

"crop my face out."


While teaching Julia how to play hide-and-seek in order to keep her entertained while we tried to talk for a few minutes after he got home from work ... Simon said, "well first you go count to four million .... ".

While eating lunch with the kids at the hospital I spewed one of my requisite cafeteria bribes ...
Grace: no cookies until you finish your french fries, kids
Simon: and that should be the title of your first book*

Randomly while we were driving Simon blurted out, "so I wonder if they're going to come out with a sequel to Pitch Perfect??"

Countless times after studying Theo's face, Simon asked "and you're SURE he's mine?"

After a super fun morning of receiving venty email after venty email from me about how much I hated how dirty and unorganized our house was (with only myself to blame), Simon simply emailed in return, "I love you even when you hate me."

After I stood up to go see what Julia was freaking about after I'd put her down for the night Simon said, "welcome to the Patton household where kids don't cry it out until they're 17 years old." 

In the parking lot at the park while I was corralling the older two and after he'd put Theo in his car seat and made an unfortunate discovery AND very much within earshot of surrounding peoples Simon shout-asked, "could you please stop lollygagging there is POOP ON MY HAND."

Seconds after Simon got me to admit that the newest Bachelor isn't the ugliest man in all of the land I received an email titled, "my workout inspirashe" with this photo attached ...


And after I texted him a photo of the two of us from the weekend he immediately responded, "what do you want me to do with that?"



*no plans to write a book ... Simon is just super nice. 


36 comments:

  1. I absolutely LOVE Simon Says posts! Although all of your posts give me the required laughs I need to get through my own solitary pain ... wishing we were friends in real life, -katie

    ReplyDelete
  2. This is the first Simon Says post I've read. I think you're hilarious and even though you're 200x more fabulous, I feel like we have some similarities (I don't blog stalk many people I don't know--but I made an exception for your blog because you're clearly awesome). I guess I shouldn't be surprised to hear your hubby sounds so much like my own. I guess it's just a good combo of personalities. :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. I love these posts...I truly do. I think Simon is related to my husband. They sound so much alike. Love Simon's workout "inspirashe" as well...hotness 101.

    ReplyDelete
  4. How could you NOT write a book? I mean, you've seen "Sh*t My Dad Says", right? You would KILL it Grace!

    And those nasty emails you bloggers get, yikes. I'm personally too busy memorizing your hair in pictures to concern myself with how your perfectly lovely house would measure up to Martha Stewart's (just fine IMO) but people c'mon! How do you deal? I get enraged just thinking about it.

    Anywho, signing off. Great post, as always!

    ReplyDelete
  5. They are in fact making a pitched perfect 2!

    ReplyDelete
  6. My husband said he would deny the fact that he loved Pitch Perfect

    ReplyDelete
  7. Hahaha men are so silly! I love this!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Oh Juan Pablo got nothing on Simon!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Hilarious! These posts are the best. My husband says some off the wall things, but I never think to make a mental note of them. I just laugh...sometimes...and remember that the man is crazy. Or I made him crazy...or something like that.

    ReplyDelete
  10. haha, grace! this seriously just made my day.
    xo
    jenna
    www.mamadazeblog.com

    ReplyDelete
  11. Too good. And yes to the finishing French fries before cookies.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Love this one! The photos are great with his words right under them.

    How does his hair have so much body!? I would love to have hair like that.

    ReplyDelete
  13. I love the first one, Simon looks like a mad Hulk :D sorry, Simon.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Hah no wonder Julia is so hilarious with the two of you as her parents! Nice "workout inspirache" there too!

    ReplyDelete
  15. I'm wondering is Simon is as funny when he's on the other side of the stirrups? Every ob/gyn should have a good sense of humor. The doctor that delivered my two babies was famous for his wry observations in the delivery room. His patients would compare our one-line delivery stories. Keep in mind that this was in the era of gender surprise because when I had my babies they only did an ultrasound if there was a complication. His proclamations of the gender were epic. I could SO see Simon making funny like that.

    ReplyDelete
  16. ETA to say the doctor that delivered my FIRST two babies. There are three. The third delivered too quickly for the doctor to make it. He was delivered by an RN with some midwife training.

    ReplyDelete
  17. They are! They ARE coming out with a Pitch Perfect sequel! It's set to come out in 2015 and my household is irrationally excited.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Again, my pulse went up a little when I saw the title! Nerd alert. Anywho... Loved "crop my face out".

    As for JP as the new Bachelor, I'm not sure how I feel. Yes, hands down, niiiiiice eye candy. But, I don't know if I up for him, you know? No? I don't know, I sure I'll watch regardless, but I'm not super jazzed.

    ReplyDelete
  19. New Pitch Perfect: http://insidemovies.ew.com/2013/04/16/pitch-perfect-sequel-2015/
    Sime just needs to realize that residency is hard, but single-ish mom to Jul-astian-odore is SO much harder. (From a fellow surgery resident. At least the people we deal with are often under anesthesia.) Loves!

    ReplyDelete
  20. EXCELLENT roundup today :) I'm confused...you are a JP fan or you aren't? Was Simon trying to convince you he is attractive? Please clear this up, I need to know where you stand.

    Also, kids don't cry it out around here either...it gives mommy the shakes.

    ReplyDelete
  21. hahaha this was hilarious! I'm gonna need more Simon says posts

    ReplyDelete
  22. I laughed out loud with the crying it out comment! My daughter is three and we are still working on it. I sooo get it!

    ReplyDelete
  23. I just wanted you to now I burned my dinner because of the level of enjoyment I was experiencing from this post.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Pretty sure your book would be one that I actually buy and read over and over again when I need a lift. So, get on that in all your spare time, k?

    ReplyDelete
  25. Can you please tell Simon that I have wondered the EXACT SAME THING about Pitch Perfect?

    Great minds think alike, I always say.

    ReplyDelete
  26. I dont even know what pitch perfect is...but I did buy some mascara from your reader's recommendations yesterday!!

    ReplyDelete
  27. I just love your Simon Says posts! He cracks me up!! And tell Simon that yes they are working on a sequel to Pitch Perfect :)

    ReplyDelete
  28. I've said since day 1 you should write a book! like, back when you and Simon were still in the email-fb-phone dating stage. Just think about it!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  29. His aversion to picture taking, while at the same time being married to you, is highly comical!

    ReplyDelete
  30. the fries/cookies/first book title thing is really, really funny.

    ReplyDelete
  31. Dying. I have to say that I think we'd be friends in real life. And so would our husbands.

    ReplyDelete
  32. "Lollygagging". I literally spit corn (lunchtime) at my monitor when I read this.

    ReplyDelete
  33. We love "Simon Says" and "Conversations with Julia" (I always make T come read them after I do because they are just fabulous). Can you come move here so our families can be friends in real life? Germany needs doctors, too. And Munich has all these extra Catholic holidays... just sayin'.

    ReplyDelete
  34. But really though... you could write a book. I would read and reread and read again.

    ReplyDelete
  35. Hilarious. My husband HATES having his photo taken too, and especially hates having it posted online. So I try to respect that, but then he gets mad when there aren't as many pictures of him in our scrapbook. Dude, make up your mind.

    ReplyDelete

 

Camp Patton © All rights reserved · Theme by Blog Milk · Blogger