Sporty Plain

29 August 2013

Linking up with Hallie.

shirt - Kohl's  (someone help me with my chronic shirt tucking ... it doesn't always work, Tucker Patton) : (
pants - old Banana Republic, altered
clogs - c/o Moheda
glasses - Firmoo (Sebastian broke the pair they sent me last year but I missed them so much that I ordered another pair -- and they don't house transitional lenses -- despite what photo number one of my ape stance might lead you to believe)

And now I'll tag along with the masses and tell you all about my five favorite things

1. Let's be rebels and start with a notfavorite. Great. Rebel yell and chest beating and maybe a little face paint for flare. Future Julia ... if you ever read this ... I have failed you because you have Beetlejuice hair. You do. I can't get it right. I cut it and it looks pretty much terrible and I let it grow like the wind and ...... BeetleJulia. Hopefully pigtails are acceptable in high school because ..... yikes.

2. Okay I've never heard a Sara Bareilles song that I like even a tiny bit but I have to own that I love love love her new song, Brave. Simon's heard me play it so often that he asked if it was my nightfloat mantra. What if it is, Patton? Anyway, the video is hysterical. My favorite is Library Dancer. And if you watch it and don't start itching to bust a move ... might I prescribe some alcohol? Go.

3. So I took the personality test that tells you if you're an INJKLMNOP or something like dat and clearly I answered multiple questions wrong because it told me that I was a superior interior decorator which is literally (oooo ... she's using literally!! tell her what literally really means!!) the furthest thing from the truth. I wish I had an eye for design and all things pretty and paint colors etc but I don't. Basically my greatest decor achievements involve ordering tangible Instagrams because I'm a bit of an Insta-slooze and I've got a lot of grainy squares floating around my phone waiting to come to life on our refrigerator. When Sebastian dunked my phone in a glass of water 99 times in a row before I realized that he was drowning my surrogate bff I lost a LOT of photos but luckily for everyone involved ... a lot of them had been thrown on the gram and so ... sort of saved. Get to the point, Grace. Okay, fine. I ordered more magnets from Stickygram and they just go right into your Instagram account and grab the ones you want .... all from the comfort of your phone. That should not have taken a chapter book to explain. Anyway! If you order any .. let me know and I'll get right back to you with my referral code so that you can save some lettuce.

4. We'll give you a break because #3 was too much.

5. More potty training prattle!! Okay so I would honestly give Julia an 8 out of 10 so far on the training front. Yes ... the cutting of the unders off of her body was obviously not a step in the right direction but for the most part she's not rebelling and peeing on Sebastian's face or anything crazy. Probably because, um, she'll be THREE in less than a month and I suspect 100% of 3-year-olds are potty trained. I don't know. I am thee consummate novice mother. So on Monday she insisted on venturing to Costco in a notdiaper and I resisted but she insisted so .... we went. I threw a towel on her car seat because stale urine isn't a smell I want to associate my life with all the time and she wore a pair of underwear from Sebastian's collection (ahem - so needed) because they are about 99% more absorbent than the paper thin Doras. She did great until she told me she needed to "get a treat by going potty" (priorities, always) but took one look at the giant real life commode in the family restroom at the warehouse and turned right back around and said she didn't need a treat. Ooooookay. Fast forward to one little teeny tiny block from our house when I hear an honest admission from the backseat ...

Julia: I just did a little bit of potty in my underwares
Grace: that's okay ... you just had an accident?
pause
Julia: no, it was on purpose.

Sooooooo, maybe realistically? A 7 out of 10 but generosity never killed a soul.



55 comments:

  1. Bahahahaa! Toddlers are smart. She SO did it on purpose!!! My Sebastian is 2.5 and I really need to potty train him but oh I don't want to. I'm lazy McLazerson. I just don't like cleaning up bodily fluids. And there will be so much of it to clean...

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  2. Hahaha, got to love Julia's commentary, it makes potty training that much better. Cut yourself some slack, many a 3 year old are not trained. My oldest trained a few months after he turned 3 and it was a nightmare for all involved. I tried to force him to before he was ready and it took the whole flippin summer! I'm now scarred for life. I'm currently training my fifth and realize there is a definite "window of opportunity" that comes and goes (and then comes back again) for each child. If they ain't in that window, then it just ain't happening. There are three things that you just can't control...whether they eat, sleep or pee on a potty!

    Oh, and nighttime training is a whole separate issue from daytime training. I had one who trained early at 2 but wasn't able to be dry all night until he was about 5. He is just a really heavy sleeper.

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  3. Bwahahah, "I did it on purpose". Love it. and BTW, out youngest son was in his 3's when he finally mastered the potty.

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    Replies
    1. see! I told you I'm a novice. I know next to nothing ....

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  4. My niece was well past 3 before she was completely potty trained. It was more of a stubbornness thing but for months she would hide and poop in her "underwares" so yeah. Needless to say everyone rejoiced when that stage ended.

    I love your shirt!

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  5. http://www.amazon.com/Ginsey-Dora-Folding-Travel-Potty/dp/B00076SKZY/ref=sr_1_6?ie=UTF8&qid=1377773838&sr=8-6&keywords=travel+potty+seat

    I HATE HATE HATE public restrooms with a passion and my need to hand sanitize me and my child make me sound over the top OCD. So to solve this problem - kinda - at least she's not rubbed behind and hands all over the toilet nastiness - please see above link. They are collapsible and come with a plastic bag case so you can throw it in your purse/diaper bag whatever and super easy to bleach out the public restroom nastiness when you get home. My husband even uses it when he take her to a baseball game.

    Side note - we when to a game last week and we forgot it and taking her to the potty made my head spin out of control with germy gross-ness.

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    Replies
    1. oh wow. awesome! again --- I'm so clueless. It's like parenting as a Jetson --- so convenient/futuristic ... now I just need a robot maid-nanny.

      You need to transfer some of the OCDness over here ....

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    2. Dude, even if not for the clean factor....it makes gigantor toilets seem normal, and almost....fun? Especially Dora right? That collapsible seat saved me.

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    3. My 3 yr old is into sitting all the way over the big toilets so her bottom is touching the back of the seat so that means her legs and shorts are all over the big seat... I cringe just thinking about it.

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  6. Hahaha! Potty training at 3 isn't bad! At least you can have these hysterical conversations with Julia about the process! It's much better than a nonverbal just crying all the time because they don't know what you're trying to do to them. When I was having a panic attack about something early on, my doctor told me to relax because "she won't go to college with it." So that's kind of my motto about everything, including potty training.

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    Replies
    1. agreed!! I'm so happy I didn't force it because it is SO much less painful now that she is verbal and understands what on earth is going on. I think we bought a potty at 16 months ..... LAUGH. Such dreamers.

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  7. My oldest (who was always independent and brilliant) at exactly 2 years and 8 months said, "I want to wear underwear now" and we bought him some and he did. No training involved. My middle son... I can't remember because you never remember what the middle child does. My last son is 19 and we're still working on it. No, seriously, I thought that child would go to kindergarten in pull ups. To be fair... he is mildly autistic and this is one of the ways we found out. During warm weather (which is all but 3 months a year here in Georgia) I would take his poopy self outside to wash with the garden hose because I got tired of cleaning poop off of him and then having to decontaminate the bathroom especially since you couldn't turn your back on him for a hot second ... so I would drag him to the front yard (where we kept the hose) and rinse him and his underoos out there. We had the greenest grass in the neighborhood.

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  8. Don't feel too bad. I raised five sons, and three of them were over the age of three when they were potty- trained. The bright side is that by then they were really ready and it went fast!

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  9. Hahahaha! I'm constantly changing which Pattonchild is my favorite and Julia is winning again.

    P.S. Tips on where you scored your baby New Balances?? The kids are SO cute in them, and I think I need to copycat you right up.

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  10. Emma wasn't potty trained until after she turned 3. She just wasn't ready and she was so stubborn. And then finally it clicked and she did great. Kolbe was the same way, except I was less stressed about it because I knew it would eventually happen. He turned 3 and a few weeks later, he was ready and did all on his own. Maybe I am lazy, but our method worked! haha.

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  11. I just found these full coverage and absorbent underwear Of course my daughter has left "the window" and is no longer interested, awesome. Also, I think your affinity for this video may have something to do with her tucked shirt? Just Sayin.

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    Replies
    1. http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=11519764

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  12. We had one who was 3 1/2 before he would even attempt....she'll get it eventually. In the meantime, it just sucks.

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  13. i DREAD potty training. but i guess i least i have a while before i need to start even considering it. thank the heavens.

    this blog makes my mornings :)

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  14. she does not have beetlejuice hair! before i got down to the text of the blog post, i was thinking about how great her hair is looking! no more being mistaken for a boy for her.

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  15. My oldest potty trained so easily, but then came the second child and I was pretty sure that I would be holding up his high school graduation because I would have to change his diaper. But magically a month before he was 3.5 he got it figured out. Julia will get there, I promise!!!

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  16. Before I got to the hair comment, I was looking at the pictures and thinking, "Wow - Julia's hair is getting so long and cute!" And the public restroom dilemma is always a problem. Boys are so much easier because there is no touching of the toilet (unless it's on purpose, but that's another story). The worst is when they need to sit, and it's an auto-flush toilet, and it scares the bajeezus out of them by flushing when they are mid-potty. I have several scarred children.

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    Replies
    1. Cover the sensor with a paper towel or toilet paper and don't remove it until the kid is safely out of the stall. Prevents that midstream flush.

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  17. Julia's hair is so cute! Maggie's is starting to get straggly (?) in the back and she has a front rat-tail that hangs in her eyes but I have no idea where to start in the hair cutting department.....so a straggly, rat-taily child she stays.

    Definitely started dancing around to that song....great pick.

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  18. that song. I play it and sing so loud and my husband does.not.understand. I love it!

    and potty training. my least favorite part of parenting so far (after the voms you know). My third turned three in July and was starting preschool in August so we had to do it. It was awful, terrible, not fun. But after a few weeks she's getting it mostly. She still sometimes pees on the floor. "I sorry momma" (I don't think she is).

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  19. If it makes you feel any better, I don't believe that any of the three year olds I know are potty trained, at least not completely. :)

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  20. With hair Grace is going through a tough phase too. Super fine and wispy and looks messy a lot. I think big bows cover up a lot of problems. And I use apple suave detangler spray before pulling the front really tight (so the wispys are off her face) and then put a second pony in. Then give her a marshmallow for being good and sitting to get her hair done. I am not above bribing to deal with crazy hair! :)

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  21. J- she's looking less baby, more little girl
    glasses- you look great (as always), I wish I were cool enough to wear frames... but I'm not, contacts for me forever
    Personality quiz- those are always a riot
    Potty training- it sucks, that is all

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  22. Not 100% of three year olds are potty-trained... Just 99. Grace is a rebel who wants to be the 1%.

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  23. Julia looks so grown up with her hair! Very cute.

    Love your top. Wish I could wear shoes like that on a weekday, but I'm too lazy. lol

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  24. Yeeeeaaah, my kid's turning four in January and brazenly pools in whatever he's wearing. Honeybadger don't care. I would say he doesn't give a shit but unfortunately he gives many. Many.

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    Replies
    1. Um, poops. But ok, yeah, he pools a bit too.

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  25. "no it was on purpose" hahaha!
    julia is the bomb.com.

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  26. We didn't potty train my daughter until she was over three years old and I don't regret a thing. My advice to you is to spend a hell weekend (one when you aren't a single mother) and just be tied to the potty all day. During the process I figured our lives would center around the potty for the next 18 years (after which I'd kick her out of the house and assign someone new to be her potty supervisor), but it really only ended up being 1.5 bad days and then she cruised along on her own.

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  27. Bring on the referral code - I want to Stickygram! Well, maybe I'll do it for Christmas. We (meaning, all 5 of us) love magnets in our house, so it would be PERFECT. Plus, all my "good" pictures go to Insta anyway, so it'll be good.

    Potty-training - they have these great waterproof car seat piddle pad things they sell at BRU. We got one for Miriam during the week we were attempting to train (which we've given up on b/c while she's ready, she refuses). It's great b/c it's removable and unlike a towel, it's waterproof on one side so no leakage through! Stick it in the wash and all is good to go again.

    And Miriam is terrified of normal potties. I put her on one in Chick-fil-a during that week and she cried. Needless to say, she promptly peed in her carseat. And my oldest was 3, but not on-his-birthday 3 when he trained and only trained b/c of peer pressure. Literally. ;)

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  28. My almost three year old is nowhere near potty trained. He just thinks it's fun to sit on the seat and do nothing. It doesn't help that I'm lazy and we have a three-month old around too....I'm terribly unmotivated to do it. I keep hearing about the weekend potty training crash courses and I'm tempted....

    Also, I love Julia's sneakers! Where did you get them?

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  29. Grace - first just to say that i love to laugh at your wonderful stories, turns of phrase, sweet, silly children, and glimpse into your very real life. I'm sorry that this time is so difficult with your husband working so much.

    second, i watched the brave video, having only heard it thus far on the radio, and laughed and smiled and then ... oh goodness! got teary-eyed! i loved the people in the video who joined in the crazy dance, however reluctantly. (now maybe i'm naive and the whole thing was scripted, but i still loved it.) i love that there are people who embrace even the silliness of others.

    thanks for writing.

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  30. We didn't potty train our fourth until after 3, a good 6-12 months after the previous three. He liked his diapers just fine and I could NOT get the motivation into myself to do it.

    So, not 100% of 3-year-olds are trained. Maybe like 99.99, but I seriously doubt we're the only holdouts. :)

    ("on purpose" made me laugh out loud.)

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  31. Another parent of an untrained almost 3 yr old boy. When I tried a few weeks ago he screamed bloody murder for his diaper. I hoping that when we do pull the diaper plug it will be super fast!

    (Doesn't help that my MIL badgers me every chance about it, bah.)

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  32. Looks like you've already gotten plenty of affirmation, but both of my boys were a month shy of three when they decided to use the bathroom. But once they decided, it went pretty fast, like only one accident the first day and that was it with my first.

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  33. Shoooot girl, that potty story sounds way too familiar. Mia was terrified of public restrooms and still pees with her hands over her ears. Ask me about the v-sit tho. Total game changer.

    We used the Potty Time app (http://www.pottytime.com/app), and I think it helped... maybe? If nothing else, Mia learned cheeky things like "but Mom, accidents are just part of life." Yikes, yes they are and probably will be for a very, very long time. Good luck!

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  34. "I did it on purpose." I died. So funny! I need to get the magnets. I only have a MILLION pictures of Henry on Instagram.

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  35. She is so big! And cute!! Love those honest admissions too!

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  36. Wait. What personality type did it give you? I'm sort of taking an informal poll since everyone has been talking about what their Myers Briggs type. I'm convinced the Myers Briggs people need to state clearly in their descriptions that if you're an INFJ or and INTJ and a mother you WILL start a mom (or, sorry, a lifestyle) blog.
    Ok, I'm not really taking an informal poll but I'm still super curious.

    Julia is too funny. She needs a reality show or something with all her great one-liners.

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  37. omg my personality test said that too and i was like you're so funny online personality test

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  38. I really like that Sara Barellis song too, but I tried to listen to her other stuff and I'm like, oh yeah, I forgot that I hate everything else she has ever put on the radio.

    And um, my kid wasn't potty trained until he was 3 and a half. We started trying when he was two, but yeah.... he just didn't mind his pull ups or wet underwares so he never cared about potty training. Then at 3 and a half, something clicked, and it's been smooth sailing from then on. Good luck!

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  39. Thank you for sharing. Your girl looks so beautiful! Buyincoins

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  40. I love you, Grace! I first heard that song while channel surfing and loved it. BUT my memory is non-existant lately so I haven't been able to find it since. Now I can finally have my family listen to it.

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  41. The roar of laughter that escaped my lips over Julia's honesty was window rattling this morning. Your family is my favorite family! Thanks for the guffaw (I can't believe I managed to use that in a sentence and have it be appropriate). Y'all are the very very best!

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  42. you look darling-love the shoes
    my youngest turns three next month. we tried potty training in a day for a day. yes. so not ready. whatever. no matter that i've been changing diapers everyday for almost eight years with no break. we'll try again. this freaked me out on kid 1, how potty training didn't work. not so much on #3.

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  43. LOVE the Brave song. So much so that I made a bulletin board for my school kids mixing the lyrics of that song and the cute little triplet bears from the Disney movie Brave. Does it matter that they are 8th grade and possibly think my design was babyish? NOPE. Because then I showed them the music video and they totally got it. And wanted to bust a move.

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  44. My kid will only use a public toilet if I bring her fold up toilet seat. It's a drag to carry around, but worth it. Just stick it on top of a regular toilet seat and it even has handles for her.

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