This is a post about nothing.
Read on if you're not swamped with life.
Simon was on call (a terrible euphemism for being at the hospital for 24+ hours with little to no hope for sleep) and I was at home with the kids wondering (like always) if residency would ever ever ever feel "worth it" (jury out forever, probably).
Ahhhh. The big kids had been put down with relatively no resisitence so I celebrated by snapping a real professional in the mirror of my thorax, Theo, and Theo's chin skin to send to Kayla because she sent Theo those adorable pajams ....
Shortly after our shoot I got him down without our usual three hour battle of the wills and was settling in for a nice read of the internet when Julia started crying. I rolled my eyes super dramatically for all to see and went to give her a sip of water. Before I had even walked out of her room she burst into tears again. I told her to go to sleep and that if she woke up Sebastian I would never forgive her because when Sebastian wakes up - Sebastian is ready to GO for the day -- even if that wake time happens to be at 9:02 pm the night before.
Back to my lair with my laptop and she started crying AGAIN. I angrily speedwalked downstairs to threaten Dora doll take aways when I noticed her face was super blotchy by the light of my phone. She was crying really loud and really hard by now so I took her out to the living room to try to calm her down. She told me her stomach hurt and this wasn't my first rodeo so I went to grab the big plastic orange bowl just in case. More crying. I texted Simon that I was maybe a little worried. What he was going to do miles away on Labor and Delivery I don't know but he needed to know my plight.
Julia is many things but she generally is not a liar and my mind was starting to wander reallllllly far and reallllllly fast because she wouldn't stop crying realllllllly hard so I asked her a series of questions - one of them being if she had gotten into some medicine? She said yes through her sobs and I freaked. I ran to make sure my medicines were all in their usual REALLY HIGH UP homes and they were. I asked her to show me the medicine she got into and she took me to the basement and wanted to watch Dora.
oh. I did say generally not a liar.
Simon called and I started inspecting her body for a rash? Do her eyes look glazed over? They do! Something must be really wrong. Maybe she's allergic to avocados when she eats three in one sitting like she did at dinner? More crying. I was trying really hard to be nice and coddly while asking her to PLEASE be quiet because if the boys woke up my arms weren't going to multiply but my brain might actually explode. Still crying and completely inconsolable. I finally walked her to her room and plopped her in her crib where she fell asleep immediately.
No fire? So I sat in the living room with the vom receptacle waiting for alarm number 4 to sound ...
Nothing. Silence. Even Theo maintained his post at sleepcity.
I went back upstairs and started chewing on my cuticles and let the lack of hysterics worry me because I'm a mom and I am completely insane. Should I go make sure she's breathing?
So I did. She was breathing loud and clear and her throat hadn't closed up or anything totally out of the realm of possibility but not out of the stretches of my imagination. She cried a few more times throughout the night but was perfectly and totally fine and probably just overtired from talking through her nap instead of sleeping.
I'm normally lax to a fault when it comes to the kids and I promise I don't usually turn into Clara Barton on the battlefield at the first sign of a sniffle but call weekends bring out the crazy/worst/worst/crazy/fauxmedicaldegree/crazy in me.
It's a really good thing they are so few and far between.
Caps lock and .......