Confessions

04 March 2013

I woke up this morning ready to carpe the sheeeet out of the diem. Here we come normal schedule!! I was going to tackle a whole bunch of stuff. I tackled and finished about 3/5 of it and I'm just going to save organizing ALL the kids' clothes for a day that I need something to smile about because that is my favorite chore of all. If I were the type that said things like, "NOT!" this is where I would've typed that.

I hate organizing small person clothing.

This shirt is size 6-9 mos but Sebastian wore it when he was 3.5 weeks old and these pants say 18-24 mos but Julia still can't wear them and Theo can probably get away with newborn gear for a few more days but why not just pack it all up now so I don't have to wash and fold it anymore?

Hate.

So let me just tell you some things that I might regret telling you but I can't have you thinking that it's one big Pinterest party up in here with permagrins galore. In case you do think that.


the kids and the Netflix: It's been bad.


I'm usually pretty good about keeping Julia away from her beloved Dora and Diego en vivo but the temptation was just too great the past few weeks and even Sebastian decided to like screen time if he were lured in by Elmo. It helped get me over that hump before bedtime and let me take my every third day shower and sometimes just let me lay on the couch and stare at the wall. We've been flix-free today but you never know what post-naps will be like. We'll crawl towards improvement.

Julia's language: Whenever something doesn't go her way she says, "dammit!" and since she is around approximately one English speaking person for the majority of the day I can only blame her mother. It could be worse (and it has been! I hope we never revisit those choice words) and I think the best tactic is to ignore it so she doesn't get a rise out of me (my parenting book is due to release this summer) so we'll hope for some improvement in that arena as well.

the hangover: Simon and I went out with some friends on Friday and I could sugarcoat this but I won't. I may have been so happy to be out and about among the living at night without the kids that I accidentally drank a teeeeeny tiny bit too much. I paid for it on Saturday. It was so painful. Before you go all Judgy McJudger on me - actually - go ahead. I overlooked the fact that I hadn't had a sip of anything potent other than wine in many, MANY moons and didn't drink any water blah blah blah. I will say that I am still very proud of the fact that I requested Thrift Shop at a piano bar and they played it immediately. They did! I had to wrap my feet around the legs of my chair nice and tight so that I wouldn't hop up and act out the entire song in a display of interpretive dance like the mime that I like to be after I so much as smell a trace of alcohol. (Luckily, the only person I managed to email while under the influence was ... Jen ... I'm sure she loved it.)

lost my cookies: ha! No, I didn't get sick but the kids were hanging out in the van in the hospital parking lot recently and allll of a sudden their chubby little faces were covered in chocolate. I found the remnants of a Tupperware container of chocolate cookies with chocolate frosting that I know I made at some point but ... when? Christmas? No ... before that. Shiver. We soaked up the gross with peanut M&Ms .... I'm sure they'll be fine.

the haircut: Simon cut - nay, he buzzed Sebastian's hair last night after I told him to please leave it long on top. I had a really hard time forgiving him. Really, really hard. I know hair grows back ... he's just a kid but ...


seriously.

He's been covering up all day


and I don't blame him in the slightest. And if Simon goes after Theo's locks claiming he can't do a "fade" at home and that it's "all or nothing" ....



I'll kill him.


And I won't be confessing that.


46 comments:

  1. I babysat my nieces the other night. Which really meant 3 episodes of Sofia the First one after the other. I was just too tired to try and convince the 5 year old that setting up the entire game of Life was possibly the worst idea in the world. (So many pieces! And so very tiny!) Basically, I'll make a great mom someday.

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  2. If we hadn't given up TV for Lent the kids would be watching a LOT. Because John Paul figured out how to work the xbox controller and there may have been days (in my early days at home with all 4 kids) when they watched 4+ hours of tv... And not even just because I was busy with the twins, sometimes I just wanted to watch The Bachelor without waiting for naptime so I'd let the kids watch Super Why in the basement. If it killed any of John Paul's brain cells it can only have been a service to the world.

    Myabe we killed off some of the OCD brain cells? I'm not real hopeful...

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  3. thrift shop is my jam!! ye-ah, baby!

    and theo is totally terrified of losing his faux-hawk. look at that face! he's worried

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  4. I laughed a little TOO much about Julia's language. I know it's one of those "it's funny but really not funny things" that I still get to laugh about because I don't currently have kids. I should make a mental note to stop my sailor speaking ways since I'm pretty sure it will take years to undo the filth that regularly comes out of my mouth. My mom would be so proud.

    And I don't know what it is, but I just don't think Sebastian can pull off the buzzed look. Poor guy. Thankfully hats are very "in". :)

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  5. A day without any screen time is a rarity around here. And I don't even feel the need to confess it. Less is better, sure, but I don't think that means some is horrible. I know for a fact I watched a lot of TV as a little, and I don't know where this sentence was going but maybe you don't want your kids to turn out like me so never mind. Anyway, point is, I've been there with the too much TV thing, and usually once I start noticing that it is causing more behavioral issues instead of less, that is motivation enough to cut back.

    Also - I didn't think you could possibly make a cuter baby than Julia or Basher, but THEO OH MAH GARSH THAT FACE IT HURTS ME.

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  6. I have to say I like Sebastian´s haircut, I just do :) Actually, I love it!!

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  7. i remember when this friend of mine was all, "there's a kid in our complex who I KNOW watches AT LEAST 4 hours of TV day!" and i was all, "is it Bronson? because ... " we clocked in a solid 6 a few days after Everly came home. not my proudest day.

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  8. Oh dear God, please be my friend in real life. You requested Thrift Shop in a piano bar, and they played it?!?! Off to tell my nonblogging, nonblog reading real life friends who will again ask, "Who's Grace?"

    TV is my part time nanny. It is the only way laundry & dinner ever get done. My oldest is 5 & a brainiac so fret not. There are worse things.



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  10. I'd buy that parenting book.

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  11. Hilarious. You'd have some help from your readers if ever the Theo faux hawk were to be buzzed. I do think basher can pull off the buzz, at least for the time being though. As for the night out - guurrrrrrrrrrrrrllll.... I wish! It would be worth the hangover! Adult time! Friends! Piano bar! Awesome.

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  12. Feel free to email me any time you're under the influence.

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  13. Sorting kids clothes is the pits!! I am currently avoiding this task.... and Sebastian no longer looks like a mischievous frat-boy, boo :(

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  14. i couldn't read this whole post b/c these people insist on eating dinner right.now BUT "carpe the sheeeeet out of the diem".....oh my gosh that's all i needed

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  15. Sooo glad to hear that I'm not the only one who uses Netflix as a babysitter EVERY CHANCE I get! Especially with all the crazy hyperemesis nausea this pregnancy...Netflix has been my friend for sure!!! Elmo is much beloved in our house as well.

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  16. Drunk email me sometime :-)

    And I really can do a fade, I'll have to make a video tutorial for Simon.

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  17. hahahaa.... OK this is Jenny Ryan, I'm at my mom's house and commented using her account...ooops

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  18. Holy crap, Theo's hair is to-die-for. Also, in the first picture, Julia is Marley's twin again. Finally, I'm thrilled that you got drunk...I enjoy proving that I still can once in a loooong while. I def. regret it the next day as well, but it's SO worth it in the moment...especially when piano guys are playing quality rap hits. Cheers!

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  19. At least you have not stayed in bed an extra 15 mins (okay, maybe 30) to play Candy Crush on your iPhone (don't even look it up, I can't even believe I am admitting this)and then to come downstairs to find your 2 and 5 year old kids eating croissants and peanut butter out of the jar at the kitchen table. I promise to make you look like the Mother of the Year.

    May I offer a silver lining for the haircut? At least your kid will sit down for a haircut, not everyone else is as lucky. And yes, I waited till everyone thought my boy was a girl to get his second haircut.

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  20. Ryan and I already know that one day, something is not going to go Lucy's way and we're going to hear "Ah tits!" come out of her sweet little button mouth. We have no idea what to do about it other than hope Ryan doesn't actually say it in front of Lu ever.

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  21. I haaaaaaate organizing kids' clothing. They need to have really small, small, medium, large and grown up. Done.

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  22. OH yeah, the netflix problem... its bad here too. Ugh. Only im worse, because i don't really have any plans of resolving this problem any time in the near future. Pray for me! ;) And the drinking... you only live once, right? At least we can both continue to enjoy our wine with pleasure.

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  23. Our Netflix problem is bad too. My kids have started DEMANDING their quiet time movie and get royally pissed and screamy if they are denied it (like today. When I offered to take them to the park instead). That's usually a good sign that it's time to cut them off. It's going to be a very long week as I wean them from their addiction.

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  24. Oh girlfriend! I sorted clothes this weekend. HATE. Mostly because the pile in the upstairs hallway was SO LARGE that it was threatening to overtake and block the children in their rooms. They were carving a pathway through the shirts and pants to get to and from the bathroom. Seriously. It's the worst. But I love Basher's hair!! With 4 boys and a hubby who has to have a haircut every 4 weeks for the military, I do it all at home - awesome savings. And I'm a fan of the clippers - easy, peasy and I love boys with short hair. He looks so cute.

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  25. Love these confessions, Grace. You're forgiven in my book.

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  26. Some days your blog is the best part of my day...and by some I mean most. Not that I don't love getting punched in the face repeatedly by my 3 month old or to listen to my girls discipline each other the way I do them but sometimes I just need a little camp patton, and wine.

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  27. Oh my gosh. Your story from Friday reminds me of the time we got a rare night out with friends after I'd been on a months-long health kick. AS IT TURNS OUT, if you're going to consume alcoholic beverages, you should probably take a moment to consider whether you have recently lost 30 lbs and/or whether you have not had much to drink in months, as these things can have a significant impact on your tolerance levels. I thought I'd never recover from that one.

    And please, please keep me subscribed to the Grace's Emails After Drinking list.

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  28. OMG that picture of Theo is sooooo precious!! And of course Julia is saying dammit, because she is hilarious. And dont feel bad about the drinking, I drank (alot) last weekend for my birthday, puked until 3 the next day and still don't feel normal. Having a hangover with a baby is NO fun!

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  29. I'm with Jen, I think you need to start an email list just for the nights your out and about. Mucho jealous, by the way.

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  30. This post is chock full o' gems, but srsly- the friggin' clothes. And somehow no one has a THING to wear that isn't stained or full of holes or too small. Apparently. Yet 4 closets full of clothing. Double You Tee Eff????

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  31. I have to admit that the Euro sizes make more sense, because they are based on height and not age, but my daughter is about 81 cm tall and only has a few things in size 80, and is mostly 86/92. So I don't know how to sort it either. By size? Brand? Her age when she wore it? What if the next one is a short fatty instead of a long skinny? Clearly an international problem. We should get the UN to intervene.

    Also, she is sitting on my lap watching Disney Jr on TV right this moment, while I hold my phone behind her head so she can't see what I'm doing.

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  32. Is that red in Theo's hair? He is to die for. And "carpe the sheet out of the diem"? Just thank you.

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  33. I go ruthless with the clothing and sort by size unless its really ridiculous and then I go all crazy and write a new size on the tag. I only keep as much as will fit in a Rubbermaid box until size 3 and then I have 1 box for winter and 1 for summer.

    Also, I regularly rely on the children's genetics to pull them through the after effects of my slacker parenting. Their father is a professor. That has to count for something, right?

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  34. @ Becky omg, write a new size on the tag! Why didn't I think of that.

    And Grace, oh Grace. We took our children out to a nice-ish restaurant last week where I proceeded to help dispatch a couple bottles of wine while they were squired about the restaurant by the waitstaff and even set up in another dining room with Italian cartoons. And not a judgy eye was turned in our direction. Can I put this phenom into Europe's 'plus' category over good 'ol America?

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  35. Confession? My infant is already addicted to the moving pictures. It's going to be a long life of bad eyesight and developmental delays for him! =/ He probably thinks my Mac is his second mom.

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  36. Where are the pictures from Friday night? I'm home with the boys 4 mornings a week and we start our day with breakfast, then watch a few shows on netflix while I enjoy a cup of coffee on the couch. I do it for my sanity. God Bless Netflix.

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  37. Thrift Shop at a Piano Bar? I'm totally jealous.

    I'm a relatively new reaer, and I'm hooked. I was once a Hill intern and spent too many Saturday nights drinking Dirty Shirlies at Mr. Smith's in Georgetown.

    Also, thank goodness for cartoons before bed time on the worst of days.

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  38. bah, baby clothes! I just tackled that monster this past week. So glad I'm not the only one who hates it and is paralyzed as to what to do with it.

    Oh, and I am totally there with you on the accidental drunk. Whoops.

    We just buzzed our little guy's hair. And it was met with the same silence and crickets chirping.

    Theo's hair is fantastic. Maybe you should hide the clippers for a few ten years...

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  39. Everybody's said all the cool things to say.

    But I just HAVE to comment on sweet little Theo's close-up! Awesome hair, sweet tiny newborn curly eyelashes, and little newborn lips! SO CUTE!

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  40. Confession: When I need to take a shower, I put McCartney in her swing and then turn on Veggie Tales. She goes right to sleep. I have a feeling the boob tube may be a good friend in the years to come.
    Also, I think if Simon goes after Theo's hair the whole Internet will be after him. Just a warning.

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  41. Toddlers who swear turn into to 1st graders who swear, but so far not at school...I am, most certainly, not speaking from experience...

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  42. I'm sure no one can relate to this post. To borrow your words, "If I were the type that said things like, "NOT!" this is where I would've typed that." Don't forget you can also sort the clothes by season, because I'm sure you needed more categories and cross-categories. As for Netflix, may I recommend the LeapFrog series? At least they're educational. Not that we've ever had a phase of over-Netflixing... My son might have learned all the sounds of the letters in the alphabet by getting hooked on "Phonics Farm."

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  43. You make me laugh. That is all.

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  44. I'm dying here-- you're hysterical! If its any consolation, my second child used to say damnit all the time when he was two (I think I've only heard it once or twice since then, and its always in proper context, so I can't blame him). Of course, he yelled it out during Mass in a tiny church during a silent moment. The guy in front of us was turning purple and the hubs is pretty sure the priest was stiffling a laugh...

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  45. If Simon touches Baby Jef(f)s mane...I will FREAK.

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