Conversations with Julia

11 September 2013

*this post is dedicated to Caitlin, gracious receiver of annoying emails from Grace

"Welcome to the Julia-holds-a-ribbon Show!!"

After a long complaint sesh about the full swings ...
Grace: well we can't just kick the other kids off the swings
Julia: welllll what about if we NICELY kick them off the swings? Is that a good idea?

Walking into the house after visiting Simon last night ...
Julia: Welcome home, Julia!
pause
Julia: Thank you, house!!

99 times a day ...
Grace: please be patient
Julia: patient?? who is patient? what is patient??

While in the middle of yet another search for a sippy cup ...
Grace: did you find it?
Super Serious Julia: No I did not. It must be a mystery.

After it got way too quiet in the basement ...
Grace: what are you two doing down there?
Julia: oh, we're just banging out.

"wook! I'm doin the swips!"

After I made a new changing table cover ...
Julia: ooooh now I'll never have to potty train again!!!

Following me into the bathroom ...
Julia: Don't worry, I'll just share your pribacy with you.
Grace: 

Meeting a kind nurse at the hospital while visiting Simon
Kind Nurse: and how old are you?
Julia: well I'm just wearing underwear, see? (shows) 

After giving adorably pregnant Katrina an up-down ...
Julia: you have big muscles

While proudly showing off a tangible and pungent potty training accomplishment with a flourish of her hand ...
Julia: well well well what have we here?

When she had a very slight runny nose in the middle of the night when Simon was at work ...
Julia: my nose isn't working
Julia: I think I have the chokes
Mole-eyed Grace:
Julia: Maybe if I get up and read ten books I'll feel better.
Mole-eyed Grace:
Julia: Maybe if I get up and play for just 20 minutes I'll feel better.
Julia: I need some Bicks or some Baseline up in my nose
Mole-eyed Grace:
Julia: my nose is frowing up!!!
Mole-eyed Grace: good night, Julia

61 comments:

  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  2. Best. Day. Ever. I love the super serious mystery comment and her sharing the privacy with you.

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  3. "well well well what have we here?"

    BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
    Do you just laugh all the time? I'm positive I couldn't hold it together around her!

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  4. These are my favorites! She has to be the funniest little kid I've ever had the pleasure of knowing about! "Well well well what have we here?" I mean seriously they all had me laughing out loud. You need to just follow her around with a video camera ;)

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  5. Oh my god she's hysterical!! I love it. Kids are the best. I was at the park with my seven month old the other day and a little girl asks how old he is. I told her he's seven months. And she gets super shocked and is like "he's seven months years old?! He's older than me! I'm six!"

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  6. Conversations with Julia is my favorite. What a goofball!

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  7. "Well well what have we here?" made milk come out of my nose and it was worth it.

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  8. "well well well..."
    funniest kid on the planet.
    thanks for brightening my morning julia!

    also loved one of the comments above about the little girl.
    "He's older than me!..." Bahaha.

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  9. The house thing!!!! Brilliant! It's hard to find such a funny adult so that makes Julia even more precious!

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  10. She's such a trip.... She must inherit it from Mole-Eyed Grace.

    Also, do you write these down? Because if you just remember them then I am in humble awe of your steel trap.

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  11. "Conversations with Julia" posts are always funny...but this one was particularly hilarious.

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  12. Oh my gosh i always love these posts so so much. I need to start writing down the hilarious stuff my three year old says.

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  13. Oh my gosh, her nose comments made me laugh (out loud). I will not type lol. Oh dern, I just did.

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  14. I know three small children is hard, hard work (made even harder by Simon's crazy schedule) but DANG IT! Your kids are hilarious! Surely they keep you laughing through the tears.

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  15. Oh gosh, I have so much to look forward to! Can't wait!

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  16. i love these.

    my favorite:

    Following me into the bathroom ...
    Julia: Don't worry, I'll just share your pribacy with you.
    Grace:


    ALTHOUGH a close second is this one:
    While proudly showing off a tangible and pungent potty training accomplishment with a flourish of her hand ...
    Julia: well well well what have we here?

    i copied and pasted all that, fyi.

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  17. My three year old just saw the picture and said, "Is she doing the splits?"
    Obviously.

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  18. I don't know how you discipline that child - I would be laughing all the time. IT's good that she's sharing your pribacy.....!

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  19. Caitlin's on your blog! She's famous!

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  20. If you ever kick her out, Julia has a place at my house as court jester. :)

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  21. I love hearing about Julia's conversations! Highlight of my morning!!

    I'm glad I'm not the only one with a bribing toddler/preschooler!

    "welllll what about if we NICELY kick them off the swings? Is that a good idea?"

    I've heard that one & other variations, a few too many times! LOL

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  22. i LOVE this. "... my nose is frowing up!" i have so much to look forward to :)

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  23. The Swips... I die! She is so stinking hilarious! Sharing Pribacy totally had me spitting my coffee in laughter! LOVE IT!

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  24. pribacy kills me. and i can't wait for my son to talk!

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  25. I don't know how you ever have a straight face in your house!

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  26. These are so funny! I write down the funny stuff my son says too

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  27. Love, love, love it. These always cheer me up. 'Pribacy' is by far my fave. I have two such sharers of that oh so special time in my house, too.

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  28. my favorite posts!!! seriously the greatest. cant wait for her to read these when she get's older :)

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  29. that's how my swips look too, Julia... (:

    thanks for making my morning!

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  30. YES! Conversations with Julia are the highlight of my week/life.

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  31. These are some of my all-time faves. So great that she can share your privacy!! Thanks for these!!

    PS- words of encouragement. I'm now 2.5 months out of OB/GYN residency and the grass is SOOOOOO green over here. I'm talking ridiculous amounts of family time. I'm talking feeding my baby breakfast and drinking coffee at home before coming in. I'm talking about dinner together (almost) every blessed night. Hang in there, Grace!!

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  32. Just when I think I have a favorite, they get even funnier!

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  33. Just when I think I have a favorite, they get even funnier!

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  34. Those last two just did me in! hahaha!

    also, i had a dream last night about the Pattons. Spencer and I came to St. Louis for Simon and your vow renewal, and I had the duty of watching Sebastian during said ceremony. Homeboy had two MASSIVE blowouts, one right after the other, and so my dream was basically of me wiping poop off of Bash's backside in the lobby of the church where you and Simon declared your everlasting love. I know, my creepy-stalker status just hit a new level.

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  35. Oh. My. GOSH. She is HILARIOUS! Toddlers are awesome. It helps make up for all the Awful.

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  36. Please start collaborating with Convos with my 2 year old
    http://www.youtube.com/user/ConvosWith2YrOld

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  37. Gems, every one of 'em! I especially like the one about her nose throwing up:) Except it was in the middle of the night. Boo.

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  38. Well I'm just wearing underwear...def whipping that one out next time someone asks how far along I am. Thanks Jules.

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  39. I look forward to theses Conversations with Julia!

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  40. Oh my goodness, I laughed so hard at this I think I scared my baby.

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  41. It DOES NOT get any funnier than this. She way out funnies my kids!

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  42. The next time I use the potty I'm going to announce it with the same enthusiasm. At my age, these things should be celebrated. <3 it!

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  43. OMG. This is the best. I'm crying I'm laughing so hard.

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  44. Love her! She is a hoot and a holler! :)

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  45. Today was such a long day! Conversations with Julia was just what I needed! "Now I'll never have to potty train again!" had me tears. Thanks for sharing!!! :D

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  46. As I was reading tonight, this totally reminded me of Simon's little brother one time. In high school, I called over to tell Simon about a CYO event and by some fluke, Paul at about 3 or 4, answered the phone.
    Me: May I please speak to Simon?
    Paul: Who is this?
    Me: This is Emily, who is this?
    Paul: Paul
    Me: Can I talk to Simon?
    Paul: Not right now. In a little bit. I just want to talk to you. How are you?
    This conversation went on for some time while I was phone hostage with a 3 year old. Ann mercifully caught him after a few minutes and got Simon. I just told this story to Shawn - I had almost forgotten it, something about this Julia post reminded me of it.

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  47. Today was such a long day! Conversations with Julia was just what I needed! "Now I'll never have to potty train again!" had me tears. Thanks for sharing!!! :D

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  48. Oh my goodness! I just peed a little. I love the pribacy and slight runny nose. Oh and showing her underwear!! I love this little girl so much. She can come stay with me anytime!!

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  49. Julia gave this big muscled lady lots of laughs tonight! I still can't believe how well she speaks. Wonderful reflection of you, Grace!

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  50. Thank you so much for sending me off to bed laughing. It's been a very long day.

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  51. Just started following your blog! These are hilarious!!

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  52. I think Conversations with Julia just might beat out Simon Says ...

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  53. Thank you, house! Cannot stop giggling.

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