Seven Quick Takes

20 September 2013

Joining Jen and the givey givers ...

1. I wasn't going to do a quick takes post but ... what the hell? There are a bunch of things I've been wanting to post about but will probably just fester and die in the recesses of my brain so let's air them out here.

2. A couple of weeks ago I was on a little bit of a trash picking bender. It started innocently enough with a doll stroller


but then I was on a run and spotted one of those push cars ...


yes, that.

I ran home and told Simon about it so we popped in the car and drove by and Simon was "98% sure" that the people had just left it out in their yard and that it was not for greedy Graces to "steal".

Fine.

So the next day I was running and oh, look. Same toy with a "free!" sign taped on the hood. Simon said I looked like a proud cat coming in from a hunt as I wheeled it up our walkway and while I don't appreciate being compared to a feline .... he was probably right. I tried sort of hard not to gloat but ... not that hard. It's rare that I'm the right one in the relationship so I had to lap it up lap it in ... you know.

3. And then the next day I was out on a run with the kids in tow when the same house had set out this sparkling diamond ....


a traveling circus of kleptos.

It had another "free!" sign on it and I kind of wonder if the family set out cameras to watch my face light up as I snatched up yet another one of their reject toys. I finished my run with our loot sort of intact and I could blame exactly no rubber neckers for doing their thang as they drove by me and my accomplaces.

I run by every day half expecting a live pony complete with premade Pinterest approved birthday party for one of the kids waiting for us ... I'll never quit dreaming.

Anyway, the next day I ran by another house that had a John Deere tractor outside dying a sad trash pile death and while I knew Sebastian would love it -- our basement is starting to resemble a helter skelter of a shelter for trash pile and craigslist rescue victims so ... I exercised some restraint and made Simon proud.

4. I saw a truck with this bumper sticker the other day and I love it.



5. This video. I watched it twice in a row last night and laughed out loud both times. I sent it to Simon and his response was, "where did you find this?" sooooo know that sometimes my humor bar is set very low.

6. TEN different kind and generous individuals sent me this Whole Foods post and if it wasn't on your Facebook feed ... come out from under the boring rock from which you dwell because ... people were loving it. It's pretty accurate which makes it hysterical.

7. You see us floatin' and hatin'. Okay, dumb. But last night of the awful float! Ah. It's such a terrible month and I'm so happy it's over and that we can have Simon back under our roof during normalish hours once again. Julia refers to the hospital cafeteria as his living room and it really sealed the deal when she saw his call room with the bed ... as she now assumes that he "whiffs dare". But we're done with 5 out of 8 of these months. Progress. Definite progress for the Patton peoples.

Have a nice cold one or ten on our behalf.


Bye now.


38 comments:

  1. Ugh, sorry. I stalk... erm, read your blog erryday, and it's totally the LOLs I need after a day with a 2 year old that has all of a sudden decided he'd rather be naked than nap. I digress.

    But I TOTALLY found one of those red cars on the side of the road too... and a red wagon, and they're pretty much my son's favorite toys ever in the history of ever.

    I tried to watch the video but for some reason my YT isn't playing videos... so there's that. Although I can kinda relate. I sent my hubby a picture today that I thought was HIGHlarious and he responded with "What in the world?" Umm...?

    And oh look, I just wrote a blog, on your blog. Sorry and ALOHA.

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  2. Thank you for the midnight post! Here I thought I was going to have to eat my middle of the night Cheerios while staring at my unchanging FB feed. But NO! You saved my bored eyes. Thank you.

    Also you answered my question before I had a chance to ask it. I was wondering if the Patton crew had toys...because from your pictures your living room looks so neat and clean and toy less. In comparison my living room looks like a daycare center! But alas you do have toys...in the basement! And free curbside toys to boot! Those are my favorite. I just can't pass them up. May e that is why my house looks like a daycare center?!?

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  3. Oh my gosh, that picture with the push car! It took me forever to read this post because I kept going back to look at it and have yet another chuckle:) It made being awake at this ungodly hour a lot more fun!

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  4. That video! I just sat here, alone (my husband is not a doctor on call, but he's an airline pilot who's out of town a lot)...and I laughed out loud. I mean, I belly laughed.

    You are the funniest blogger. I look forward to every new post. :)

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  5. You have amazing neighbors leaving stuff out like that free! Love that whole foods rant - so good!

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  6. one person's trash is another's treasure! i found some great terracotta planters brand new with stickers on in my neighborhood. i scooped 'em up quicker than i could blink! had to laugh at simon always being the one who's right in the relationship. my husband seems to always be right too! it stinks!

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  7. Why would anyone throw that thing away! It's in great condition. Lucky you! I'm going to go out and snoop around my neighborhood now....

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  8. The photo of Theo in the car is hilarious! And I very much need that bumper sticker.
    Funny as always!

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  9. Congrats! Night shift--be gone! :) Thanks, as usual, for the fabulous Friday laughs...

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  10. legit LOLing at simon thinking it was left out/you walking up l ike a proud cat/pony with pinterest approved birthday party/them putting a camera out to see your face.

    this is so funny.

    so was that whole foods article. kombucha is japanese for 'i gizzed in your tea' - sooo true, so dang true!

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  11. Didn't you mention that Sebastian likes to go through the garbage? Perhaps it's hereditary ? :) You got do many awesome things! It makes me think I need to take a little walk around my own neighborhood pretty soon and pray for treasures to throw themselves at me!

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  12. Hey, five out of eight is now the majority, so yay for all Pattons! And now, I'm going to steal that bumper sticker and put it on my blog. Excuse me...

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  13. Lovely level of snark this morning- thanks! Have a great weekend!!

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  14. theo's face in the push car, so good. like "are you sure about this, mom?"

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  15. You got lucky with those freebies! That giant truck! My son would go bananas over that. I've had a grand old time lately taking videos of him pushing trucks back and forth back and forth back and forth. While I sit. And drink coffee.

    And that bumper sticker. ME.

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  16. I actually jogged home the other trash pick up morning with a body board under my arm. I'm sure I looked totally lost/ridiculous, and unfortunately it was too early for me to see anyone else and ask "Is the beach this way?!!". Kids were exicted but since it's post beach season they've been trying to use it down the steps so, pluses and minuses to that grab.

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  17. Oh my word. I laughed out loud. Her face. Her anger. Hilarious.

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  18. Your kids and those Hunter wellies! They must love them!

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  19. WHAT was that video? I laughed til I cried. I know I say that a lot when commenting on your blog but it is actually not that common for me, you're just funny.

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  20. Theo can can pop a wheelie like nobody's business.

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  21. Oh you just WATCH this hysterical youtube about the whole foods parking lots. Just watch it. Watch it Grace.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2UFc1pr2yUU

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  22. Oh heavens, when we lived in the city, I planned my jogging routes through all the snazzy neighborhoods accordingly every trash day. There will be no lists for Santa this year, kids, mama's already got everything covered (wink, wink). The Huff Post article made me cry - hilarious!!

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    1. Ummm.....my hub did NOT just comment. Sorry about that. Love it when he logs out of my account. Love it.

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  23. This post is hilarious! That is pretty nice stuff to be put in a trash pile. My mom used to pick up things off people's curbs which very much embarrassed me as a child and now I'm scarred. One day, I just may get over it.

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  24. O.O I don't run. GENIUS. I love it.

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  25. SO much laughter from this post. Hadn't seen the Whole Foods pieces OR the pepper one before. Awesome.

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  26. 1 - Ummm...Why didn't she just spit it out........

    2 - My husband brought the toddler to see me during my late night at work. He asked if it was "mommy's house" and then asked "you sure?" when I said it wasn't. And I am only there 40hrs a week and the toddler doesn't visit it me too much so....

    3 - maybe Simon is putting the stuff in the yard to just see you be excited?

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  27. Nice trash scores. I missed out on some cute kids chairs one time and my husband laughed that I was upset.
    And have you seen this one?
    http://youtu.be/Cyk7utV_D2I

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  28. That Glo lady has so many videos, "is you ok? is you good? cuz I want ta know!" I LOVE your posts, you can make an ordinary day seem so funny!

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  29. Hahahaha! I love that sticker. Whooooo. Good one.

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  30. Oh... that Whole Foods post... My friend shared it on her FB and I commented on it and royally pissed off one of her friends, who after a little FB stalking I saw referred to himself as an "organic freedom fighter." Liz Lemon-sized eye roll. I bowed out as semi-gracefully as I could before it became a thing, but what I *wanted* to tell him was that I had a McGriddle for breakfast, so my concern over what food goes into my mouth hovers consistently at or near zero. Obviously.

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  31. 1. totally jealous of your trash-treasures. tom has forbidden me from picking any more gems from the trash because our yard kind of looks like a junk/graveyard for dead toys.
    2. i literally loled at that video. i never click links because i'm too lazy to hit the 'back' button and find where i left off reading, but maybe i was feeling daring tonight and for whatever reason i got to see that cray video. although, the whole time i was wondering why SHE didn't just get up and get her own damn milk.
    3. hooray for night floats being semi-overish!!!

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  32. I love free finds! My mom used to pick up furniture that way and I thought it was the most embarrassing thing in the world. And then I grew up and started doing it myself! My best find so far is an antique trunk rescued from someone's junk pile.

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  33. I've seen that sticker, too! Lu-huvv it.

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  34. Dang it. If my car weren't already littered with my husband's Ragnar stickers, I would buy that no running sticker TODAY. Amazing. :)

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  35. I love that dump truck! We have the same one. It's the best for play dates because you can have one kid ride on it, one kid push and one kid pull (if you can get all 3 to cooperate). Ah-ma-zing.
    Also, that running sticker? Love.

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  36. I often wonder how people get so lucky and find these great treasures on the side of the road or at garage sales/thrift shops and yet I never ever ever do.

    But then I remember that I don't leave the house, so there's my problem...

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