quick takes: hospital edition

16 December 2010

Treatment time: I'll try to make these as non-complainy as possible but I will probably fail miserably. Sorry.

1. Yesterday was as anti-climactic as I had expected: Arrive at hospital, wait and wait, listen to a lot of don'ts about the next week or so, take the small radioactive iodine pill that was transported in a 26 pound lead house, feel nothing, suck on a lot of lemon drops...a LOT of lemon drops, drink buckets and buckets of water, eat two identical meals of tasteless "food", enjoy picture texts of Julia cetra cetra cetra. . .

2. Last night was a different story. After tossing and turning and turning and turning and tossing I finally fell asleep only to be woken up by a nurse curious if I was too hot or too cold? Um....how about C. very awake and trying very hard to be somewhat pleasant around you even though I want to pelt all of my lemon drops at you.

3. I woke up around 4 to rid my body of some of the buckets of water I had consumed the night before and VERY unfortunately caught a quick glimpse of my face in the mirror. I was HORRIFIED when I realized that my face had been (I PRAY temporarily) replaced by a marshmallow with raisin eyes, two holes for a nose and a hungry mouth. My glands have swelled to the size of large apples. Think wisdom teeth removal on steroids. Repulsive.

4. I wish the doctor had told me that the possible but not likely side effects of: extreme boredom, dizziness, nausea, vomiting, facial swelling and sore throat were will definitely happen side effects

5. As soon as I am discharged I get to be off the diet!!! All I can think about is getting out of here and sprinting across the street to Mcdonalds while I call Papa Johns and order three large pizzas. My goal in life today (or tomorrow depending on when I am let go) is to gain all of my pregnancy weight back. Skinny jeans be very much damned.

6. After I sufficiently eat my weight in junk I think I will go try and have a little looksy at Julia (from afar of course). Simon has been doing a great job as a single parent. He had Julia changed, fed, dressed and dropped off at his parents (her temporary daycare) before six am today.  Best Dad of 2010 award most definido.

7. And now a before and after:

feeling and looking fine despite my hate/hate relationship with bland food and lemon drops

 yep. your eyes do not deceive.  Merry Christmas Simon!!

9 comments:

  1. :( after this, i predict you'll never eat lemon drops again.

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  2. you don't sound whiny at all! enjoy raiding Wichita's fast food restaurants.

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  3. first. YOU ROCKKKKKK JAYHAWKK!!!!

    second. why are you wearing an Iowa State shirt?

    YOUR AMMMMAZINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

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  4. I don't mean this in a creepy way but I never realized how full your lips are.

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  5. So how many cheeseburgers did you consume today? How is Baby J holding up without you holding her? She must think it's odd!

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  6. That was MOM who just wrote that!

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  7. Okay so I have been dying to know how you are doing so I have been checking your page vehemently. I am glad to know Iodine has not drained your wit;)
    It makes me angry how they water down side effects when you both know they are going to happen!! Crazy doctors! ;) you know I am only half kidding. ..

    I hope you know that you gave me a laugh out loud when I scrolled to the end of this post. You are too funny.

    Praying this goes by quickly for you!! <3

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  8. 200 years too late, I know. Buuuuuut- I think that you in the second picture and me right this instant are serious contenders for "twins separated at birth". Eerie how similar we look(ed).

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  9. I just spit when I saw the after picture. You are hilarious!!!

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