in good company

29 August 2010

I've been dragging myself, my stomach and my sweat starved glands to the YMCA for some hot dates with the elliptical the past few weeks. To avoid looking in the mirror (WHY do gyms put mirrors everywhere?) I usually hope that something entertaining is on TV. The local news reporting on the airport improvements and the new parking structure downtown wasn't the MOST exciting on this particular afternoon so I took some mental notes on my fellow sweaters in the cardio room.

1. two middle-aged ladies both wearing crisp new neon headsweatbands, neon wristsweatbands and spandex capris. They began their workout with a thorough stretch and then started walking on the treadmills. The speed with which they walked can only be described as a speed that I would probably utilize if I were walking into: a lethal injection? an igloo in January? a room of knife-lined walls? .... a harried hurry they were NOT in. And...about every 4ish minutes or so they would simultaneously nod to each other and take a breather...stepping off the mills and resting their heads in between their hands. To each his or her own...

2. Contestant number two decided to forgo a stretching session and popped right onto the treadmill in front of me. My eyes widened in almost horror as he amped the incline to its highest setting...which was nearly 90 degrees. He held on for dear life as his toes scratched the surface of the machine and his knuckles turned a shade of white I have never seen. He lasted about 6 minutes at this frenzied pace and my heart rate silently thanked him and dramatically dropped as he returned his machine to a safe position.

3. Next to the hill climber was a gentleman that was either rocking the first ipod ever invented in a black leather case on his waistband or maybe he was sneakily hiding an ipad in there..suffice it to say the size of the device was large and uncomfortable looking. He also skipped a stretching session but did engage in some self-massaging techniques of his upper thighs simultaneously while sitting on the edge of his treadmill. He slowly and methodically moved down to his knees before he jumped onto the treadmill for a little run to the beat of his ipod/pad that he was forced to clutch to the rhythm of his gait due to its size.

4. And then we had a youngish looking lady who was looking to win the award for either fastest heart rate ever recorded in human history or most sweat ever produced by way of an elliptical machine in the history of mankind's existence. She was a maniac machine and made me feel like a spoonful of molasses let loose on the counter top.

I can hardly wait for my next work out to see what the YMCA fairy will bring me in her bag full of fun.

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