confessions

27 March 2014


This is my new daily uniform. Thrifted track (? sports are not my specialty) pants from college in a subtle hue of electric blue, a maternity t-shirt that I have no business wearing because too short, and my hooves meant for medical professionals. It just feels right. And looks great.

Every night I swear I'm going to bleach that disgusting bathroom floor and every night .... I retract my swear. Tonight!!

I took the kids to Target two days ago to buy a humidifier because Sebastian has a cough and while I was busy Googling whether hot air or cold air is better for coughs (doesn't matter, according to my thorough research) the kids pulled the ENTIRE inventory of Metamucil into the basket and under Theo's blanket. I didn't notice until we went to check out and they unloaded said inventory onto the conveyor belt. The cashier didn't even try to hide her annoyance and I didn't even try to blame her.

The kids are on spring break from their two little mornings at preschool this week and I just think that with all the snow days and holidays and snow days ... it could've been canceled? But that could be my selfish talking. As a retired teacher ... I support spring break. As a current parent ... I do not.

While this winter doesn't even feel close to over I have to admit that I've already dumped my summer glass of milk to half full and am terrified of what next winter might bring because PTSD is no laughing matter.

Theo is sick.

 
"does he have a favor?" asked Julia
"yes, he has a fever" answered Grace
"oh boy, those favors are the worst!" replied Julia

Sebastian is sick. Julia is getting sick and Simon just got back from a six day interview-then-a-call-weekend-then-right-back-on-an-airplane-for-a-conference-in-Arizona odyssey. So the kids and I really needed a little change of scenery (sometimes being at home all day truly feels like the kiss of death and by sometimes I mean every single day) so we switched up our non-Costco grocery store this morn. Same chain - different location. After circling the store 98 times looking for dried cranberries (and being directed to the bulk bins but I really just wanted some Craisins ... preferably the generics, thanks), then 108 more times looking for Julia's beloved cans of tuna, and 54 additional times in desperate search of tortillas ... I think our wanderlust was satiated for the next year or three.

On the morning's safari. I should've fought the outfit harder but then what would our fellow store patrons have stared at? Nothing fun.

I (obviously) did not purchase that car for Sebastian and in response to the monstrous injustice that was his life in that moment he threw his angriest tantrum to date. On the floor! Flailing limbs! All of it. I had to blink back embarrassed tears and the employee watching the entire thing from the safety of her register told us to, "have a good night!" at 11:19 in the morning after he finally came down from crazytown and we were able to make a super graceful exit so I think her feathers were a little bit ruffled by his performance too.

Theo is starting to get the hang of eating/drinking/sucking down pouches of applesauce all by himself. Aside from that blessed and joyous trip to the store when the child can graduate from the carseat or carrier and is finally big enough to sit in the front of the grocery cart ... this might be my very favorite baby milestone.

After months of trying really hard to nose-to-grindstone it with this book that everyone seemed to LOVE ... I quit. It felt good.

Getting Julia to nap in our room for three out of the past four days in a row (day numero three was a bust but ... earlier bedtime! rose colored glasses for Grace) feels like some sort of HUGE parenting triumph and I know it shouldn't because she's three years old. Not three months young. But wasn't it just yesterday that she was nine months old and scruh-eaming it out in her crib for every blessed nap and bedtime?

Yes it was.

And I hope I'm not alone here but I really hate the Happy song. I've given it a few whirls but .... no thanks. Grinch me forever.

:)
:)
:)
:)

and one more for good measure.

:0)

Anything you want to get off your chest?
This is a safe space.
Spill it, sister.
Or (brave) brother.

44 comments:

  1. Yuck. Sorry the kids are sick or getting there and for the crazy mom moments - you deserve a big break!

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  2. Hmmm.... is venting considered gossip?? If yes, then no. I'll save that all for April 20th! If no, then yes, I have plenty of things to share. :)

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  3. you mean that Pharell song? Yes. Hate it. My husband is about to leave on a boat for months at a time, I only have one little one but your blog has given me hope that I can do it! And not drown in a sea of laundry and dishes. So hugs to you.

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  4. My fav milestone so far is when my kid can pump on the swing and I no longer have to push! Better than the potty trained mile stone. I swear.

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  5. Yay for clothes from Gabe's! Isn't it funny how long you hang on to some stuff? So sorry about sick little Theo, that pic is so sad. Joe's been gone a lot lately (late hours, overnight workshop out of state, etc) so solidarity on the solo parenting front. Grace tried the sneaking-food-in-the-cart trick... it was funny the first time, not so much the next dozen.

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  6. I hated Fangirl. HATED it. HATEDHATEDHATED it. I listened to the audiobook and found myself YELLING at Cath on several occasions. Most bland, unlikeable (and not in a love-to-hate way like Gone Girl characters) character EVER.
    I was extra disappointed because I loved Eleanor & Park, so I was expecting better things from Fangirl. I even took my hate-train to Amazon and Goodreads to one star that waste of 14 hours of my listening life.
    Good on you for quitting it. I stuck with it, hoping for some realquick character development, and nope. Nada. She's a waste of fictional oxygen.

    Oh, and seriously. I got that Simon Snow is supposed to be Harry Potter (who I am admittedly totally indifferent towards), but in that case WHY DOES ONE CHARACTER MENTION HARRY POTTER. Why. Because you can't have this blatant copy of Harry Potter be wildly successful in a world that ALSO HAS HARRY POTTER.

    Sorry. Clearly I'm not over my rage-train. Leaving the Grace Station now, I swear.

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  7. Can't clap along nor do I feel like a roofless room. Consider me a Grinchsie - like a twin Grinch. Whatevs...that was a stretch.

    Let's add "Let it Go" to the list of unapproved songs for my ears. It is shrill and pitchy. Consider me Simon or Paula - whichever one used to say pitchy a lot on American Idol.

    I think that's it for now. I need some spring flowers and sunshine - CLEARLY!!

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  8. My kids hate the Happy song. Or maybe they just hate it when I sing it? That is probably the likely explanation! I hope everyone gets over the sickness fast, and that you stay mildly sane in the process!!

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  9. Cant stand the happy song. But i looove hey brother :)

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  10. i hate that happy song too! i don't even think it's catchy!

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  11. Thank you. I finally heard the Happy song the other day and couldn't understand why people like it. I thought it was awful!

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  12. I keep asking 1) where were those awesome fruit pouches when I had babies? and 2) why didn't I think of that brilliant invention idea?! And that Happy song drives me cray-cray, especially since my 15-year old is addicted to it and listens to it constantly when he's not singing it to himself.

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  13. A confession I have not yet admitted to my husband or, God forbid, my super-intellectual and cultured mother-in-law: I showed my not-quite-two-year-old the music video for Katy Perry's "Roar," because of all the animals in it. He liked it so much that we watched it (cough) six times in a row. Okay, so really we watched it six times in a row because he sat quietly on my lap the whole fifteen minutes and I was lazy and didn't want to move yet.

    Another confession: I seriously love that song. And Katy Perry.

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    1. I love your confessions. Just saying.

      And I hadn't seen the music video for "Roar," so I went and watched it. It's so great!

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  14. You probably already know this, but I just heard and so I'm gifting everyone with my knowledge. Sorry. If the cough doesn't get better with cough syrup or the humidifier try an antihistamine with it. It's like the best kind of sleepallnightwithoutcoughing magic. Pinky swear.

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  15. Cannot stand the Happy song!!! It does NOT make me happy.

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  16. Oh good, my toddler had the same kind of meltdown recently (flailing arms, screaming on the floor) in front of everyone at our airport gate and in the moment I felt like the only one in the entire world who goes through such humiliation. It helps to know other moms know what it's like! And hope your kids are on the mend soon!!

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  17. Haha! I am so glad you shared this. You have a way with words. How much longer until you can have wine?!

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  18. Not sure if that was a Dierberg's but if it was...oh my goodness. That store! I can never find anything in there!!!! So if it was...I relate to your confusion.

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  19. Totally agree about spring break as a parent...unless you're off on some super fun vacation (not us), spring break is a pain in the a double s. And brilliant (or should I say stupid) me decided that this was the week we would start cutting back on Doc McStuffins and Sofia...it's been war between me and the 3 year old mini me.

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  20. Well, apparently the kids just want you to get your fiber...

    After all, ladies don't poop, they just "make their day better." And who doesn't want a better day?

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  21. Gonna finish reading in a minute, but I'd be lying if I said I haven't already worried about next winter! I bundled up the kids, zipped Caleb into Philip's coat inside my ergo and took them for a walk JUST because it was above 30 degrees... but not by much. We are all 100x better outside.

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  22. Confession: the 3yo in our house knows how to find music videos on the tube...he told me he was going to go and use the tablet and watch nikki minja...I let because it meant some time in the bathroom fur me

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  23. I'm with you on both Happy and Fangirl - me no like. Also quinoa, I just don't think it's as great as everyone else seems to think it is.

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    1. it's not good at all!! No matter how much you dress it up. But it give magical powers, right?? So I keep eating. and waiting!

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  24. In terms of confessions...three days in a row someone has publicly pointed out my three year old's bad behavior of the moment under the guise of being "helpful." Yeah thanks but no thanks. All you've really done is made me feel like my parenting sucks. Embarrassed tears are the worst. Also, I feed my baby sugar. Have been since she was like 7 months old. She's tasted cookies, ice cream, cake, pie, etc. etc. etc. I've probably ruined her for the rest of her life and if she's obese later, it's my fault. But gosh darn it she loves marshmallows.

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  25. I loved your old post about when you were a teacher. I spent a year as a permanent substitute in a middle school after college. Not sure which was worse, that or my years spent as a prison psychologist :)

    What is the Happy song?

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    1. HA. oh man. prison psychologist? I'm sure you have tons of stories from both years!

      It's a song by Pharrell Williams ... Google it. You'll probably love it and think I'm a big fun suck :)

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  26. I confess I like the "Happy" song because it makes Courtney laugh. Anything that makes her laugh makes me "happy" :) :) :)
    Just got Fangirl. Guess I will take it bake to the library. Also, I want a fedora like Bash. And a John Deer jacket.

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    1. read it!! You'll probably love it! And I'm so glad Courtney loves the song! My kids love it too --- I'm just NO fun .. you know that Mary :)

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  27. Before I had kids, my sister told me about an epic tantrum her son had at the grocery store. I was kind of horrified and when I asked her what she did while he was freaking out she said, "I picked up a magazine and pretended to read it. There was no way I was going to make eye contact with anyone!" Still makes me laugh out loud. And I do the same thing now with my own kids.

    Also, I just clicked over to your post about teaching and I could so relate. I like to remember the day I walked into the middle school where I was teaching and found a behavior report in my mailbox that described two of my students "having relations" in the bathroom. The worst part was I seemed to be the only teacher who was horrified. One of the other teachers merely said, "Oh yeah. Well, it is spring and love is in the air." Whaaaaaaaaa?

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    1. ha on the magazine!! I will try that next time but I hope there IS NOT a next time. Yikes.

      And oh my goodness on the middle school!!! WOW -- Nothing ever that that crazy happened to me but still ... I was pretty shocked day after day. A very eye opening year :)

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  28. I was trying to tell from the picture but couldn't…are you a Schnucks girl or a Dierbergs girl? Also, having grown up in that town (and going to school with the Schnucks scion), I was unaware of the hilarity of that store name until I casually mentioned it out of state.

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  29. I like the happy song! But ... No one in my house owns it and we don't listen to pop stations so...maybe that's why. ;) and I love the safari outfit! Your kids are so darn cute.

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  30. I wish I had found your blog last year when #2 was born and I was ready to completely loose my marbles. And, as crazy as it sounds, reading your posts make me think I could go for #3! Soooooooo did you get the cold or hot air humidifier? I swear by the hot air ONE HUNDRED PERCENT! FOR REALS. 1. i hate the happy song too 2. My first has EPIC meltdowns. EPIC!!! The worst. I so feel your pain sister. 3. Confession: Curious George is my babysitter and, thanks to Netflix, he's with us quite often.

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  31. Honestly it looks like Theo has matured into a completely different child in .5 mins, he looks so grown up..

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  32. My latest project in the Battle of Snot is elderberry syrup. I made it from the recipe at wellness mama. It ought to be an uphill battle because my daughter goes to daycare and it is just world war three of germs in there. But so far so good. She likes the taste - big win.

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  33. Is it just me or is this winter like the hot boyfriend in high school who was a jerk but we held on because "he can be really nice sometimes.?" Then he eventually dumped us for someone better. Please dump us winter 2013!!!!!

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  34. Your posts always make me smile!

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  35. I read another book by that same author, Eleanor and Park, and it was like teen porn. Um…ok. Not really my style either.

    Joey + Sebastian = the Fedora brothers.

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  36. Confessions: my friend and I left the babes with the husbands last night and went out for a pitcher of 'ritas and some fajitas. We plan on doing it at least once more before she moves in 2 weeks. We don't feel bad because the husbands are set for continuous sub deployments in the next year... so we're getting our kicks in while we still can.
    {Also, I hate new grocery stores. It causes anxiety about how stupid I look wandering the aisles.}

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  37. I needed this. How wonderful it is to read your blog. Often laugh out loud funny. Often face breaking from smiling sweet. Woot. Woot.

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  38. I just started following you, and love your blog! We just got over the boys being sick in our house. Of course, they happily shared their virus with me!

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  39. Why yes, I do!

    Ellen decided she doesn't want underwear anymore, but she hasn't made it to the pot yet. I am elbow deep in the brown and yellow, and every time she does it, she smiles and says, "Oops!" Meanwhile? Hardest part of potty training is the younger sib. Sam is nasty. Hands in everything. Cries all the time. No one tells you the hardest part of potty training is the baby.

    Also, at what point can I give up and put her back in diapers???

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