Friday, May 9, 2014

How Grace {sort of/maybe} Got Her Groove Back

Do you know how many weeks old Sebastian was before I finally womaned up enough to leave the house with both he and Julia?

Guess.

Seven. Seven weeks old.

And even then we just went to visit Simon at work on Christmas (eve? the day after Christmas? I'm so happy it all blends together now because those hours were some of the longest of my life). I think a lot of it had to do with the weather and the fact that an unnamed daughter H-A-T-E-D her car seat and we catered to her likes and dislikes like idiots. But still .... I get lonely and feverish just thinking about that period of time.

But now! Now ... to celebrate Phoebe's two week birthday the kids and I hit up the grocery store because Phoebe needed some Similac and Grace needed some simple syrup to make una margarita ...

... to celebrate the siete de Mayo, naturally.

The kids were promised free cookie samples but they were gone (fist shake! thanks, store!) so I went the notfree cookie route because ... mothersucker.

They had their pick of Dora, Hello Kitty, Thomas, Diego, etc etc etc ETC.

Here's what they went with after a LENGTHY deliberation session that almost drove me off the crazy cliff ...


Day of the Dead cookies.

Being a New Mexican native I know that this holiday is observed in NOVEMBER so ... my guess is they just got lazy when it came time for Cinco de Mayo confection making and just dusted off these pretties? I don't know.

And then today we made the crazy discovery that Phoebe + size 4 diapers do not a happy combo make because someone wasn't keeping awesome tabs on the newborn diaper situation and there were none to be scrounged ... anywhere.

Well. Twist my arm right on over to Target ...

... where all your dreams come true, right Theo?

Everyone was relatively well behaved and as we were walking out (and followed by a car driven by an idiot to our parking spot in a relatively empty parking lot where said idiot waited and waited and waited and waited as I loaded and buckled every Patton child into their car seats ... hopefully the wait was worth it, bizarro) Julia noted that, "everyone was SO good ... Julia didn't cry and Bash didn't cry and Theo didn't cry and Phoebe didn't cry and EVEN MOMMY didn't cry!!!"

So ... there's that.

All this to say that if I were a Costco warehouse I would probably be enjoying the tail end of my delightful Patton breather because  ... we're coming for you, big guy.

We're coming REAL soon.

Fist bumps, fist pumps, and all.

46 comments:

  1. Bash has got some serious swag.

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  2. Excellent on not crying, Grace!

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  3. I am impressed that you did not use the Target cart with the three seats and that your kids actually hold on to the cart. And that you made it out of the house with four! I just became a regular reader of the blog, and I am really enjoying it. It makes me nostalgic for my home town of St. Louis. I hope you have been to Ted Drewes before you move elsewhere!

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    1. yes! we need to go more though!!

      And I used that cart ONCE -- and never ever ever again :)

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  4. Do you know you can order huggies from costco w free shipping? You obvs have to plan a couple of days in advance but this has been a lifesaver sometimes. And when there's a coupon for them it auto applies online.

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    1. Haha yes! I just like to go the difficult route ;) and I'm
      Obviously terrible at planning ahead ...

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    2. Amazon Prime + Amazon Mom + Subscribe & Save = order diapers and wipes and toilet paper and paper towels and luna bars all delivered to your door on your chosen date each month free shipping. Five items each month = 20% off all items. Just saying, it's the only saving grace here in Hawaii where sometimes diaper shipments are scarce.

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    3. also amazon prime but you already knew that. and then you don't get the costco snacks.

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  5. You are my hero! With each addition the time between welcoming the public into our crazy was shortened. But you are just all kinds of brave and amazing all rolled into one! Cheers to your margarita...you're drinking that now right?

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  6. Yes, Costco is the gold standard of errands

    Praying God makes that baby grow chunky!

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  7. Just curious... what is your monthly diaper budget?

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  8. Ha! This post IS proof that you did, most definitely, certainly got your groove back. I even got pumped up at the end at the thought of you conquering Costco next.

    And that photo of Theo - all happy in the cart - that is exactly (well.... minus sitting the cart) how I look when I am in Target. So, kindred spirits.

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  9. i think you should write a book.

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    1. Here, here! If Grace ever writes a book in her ample spare time, I'm pre-ordering a thousand copies.

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    2. oh gosh. do not tempt me -- it would be a spectacular failure -- I'm sure!! :)

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  10. Don't do costco. I almost blogged about my (horrible) trip with all 3 but decided to just block it out. I got cocky after a successful rite aid run with all 3 (diapers), then grocery run with the toddler shopping carts. In costco Nick alternated a loan moan with piercing cries and although the toddlers were perfect ...I got a lot of looks like I was torturing my newborn. It prob took me 45 min to get in and out .... and uhh, just not worth the $20 I probably saved. If she's still a sleepy newborn it might be fine it's just such a big store it's hard to get out of if baby gets mad.

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  11. Oh my gosh, yes. The PARKERS!!! I have 3 kids--a four year old and 11 month old twins. I sweeeeeeeeeeear. Every other time I'm getting my kids in the car some jerk sits in their car and slightly pulled into a spot next to us or behind us or what have you (despite the thousand other free spots) and acts like I'm going to just uppity grab my 3 so quick and jump out of their way. It makes me so mad. Grr. See. That mad. It happens a lot in the Target lot for some reason. Once, someone revved their engine at me. Next time, I'm climbing on top of their hood and getting myself near arrested because MAMA CLAWWWWWWWWWWWS!!

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  12. I am SO impressed. Kudos to you!

    www.designsbykaty.com

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  13. you always have the best stories! those cookies look suspicious to me hehe!

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  14. Color me completely amazed. I feel myself losing my s every time Jordan starts losing her s, when we're in public, which is about every 36 seconds.
    The other day I needed simple syrup and noooo way was I stepping out for that alone, so I threw 3 tbsp water + 3 tbsp sugar in a mug and nuked it in the microwave for one minute. It was perfect... Tip for emergency margs :)

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  15. Ah! Love Theo's face- that's the same expression I make when I (finally!) get to go to Target. It's sad that the nearest Target is an hour and a half away from us.

    Also, you're superwoman. Just though you should know.

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  16. We celebrated the two-week birthday of my new one with a trip to Trader Joe's because mama needs her yummy snacks. Also, they give the bigger kids free suckers.

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  17. Oh man. It's been so darn stressful at our house this week, and this post came at THE perfect time. Please don't ever stop blogging, and if you do, please move near me so I can still hear your stories because they make me laugh so hard I cry. Thank you!

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    1. shoooot. I hope it gets better!!!

      no plans to stop right now haha

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  18. I'm impressed that you managed to get out of the house with 4 kids when you're only two weeks postpartum. Necessity and all that, but the idea gives me shivers and my kids are 7, 5 and 8 month old twins. So props to you, and I hope the similar does the trick for miss Phoebe.

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    1. thanks! she finally gained some ounces!! :)

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  19. Congrats, girl! Pretty awesome. ��

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  20. Double fist pump! Some guy waited for my spot today too. I was like-patience is a virtue, buddy. It's all yours if you want to wait for 2 car seat buckles, loading if the packages AND stroller. I'm sure the line of cars behind him was thrilled.

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  21. Pack on those pounds Phoebe! My husband always asks what I'm cackling about as I read your blog... I'm just going to start answering "motherhood." It always seems less hilarious at the time though... but we sure do appreciate the reports - full of hilarity. I once had someone wait on my spot while I was changing my daughter's diaper in the trunk. It was pretty obvious what I was doing and the spot wasn't that great... weirdos.

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  22. Holy crap, scrolling down for the cookie reveal was some mega great payoff. Too funny! Of course it would take a skull with flowers for eyes to tempt Julia away from the Dora... um, what? I can't even fathom what the cookie on the right is supposed to be. Perhaps there is a grocery store baker who is super bored and has found a measure of satisfaction in their work by just making the most bat*hit crazy/seasonally inaccurate cookies they can come up with just to baffle customers. I would probably do that.

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  23. No crying from Grace?! Kudos! The countdown of Days Since Mom's Last Public Meltdown was set back to zero for me this week as I joined Darcy during her cry-fest on our 4 hour flight to New York. Oh the joys!

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  24. Seven weeks old? Dang, that's still really great!! My husband didn't take our oldest two out by himself until the youngest was like, 9 months old. And only because I required him to, ha :)

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  25. You're hilarious and I agree with the write a book comment!! I would buy it for sure. Love reading along!! :) And since I'm sure you have a ton of free time, you know with 4 babies and all... ;p

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  26. Kudos on no tears from you. My first trip out with my toddler and newborn resulted in almost tears because I shopped, paid, got both kids back to the car and buckled in before I realized that I'd forgotten the most important part of the trip - restocking my Twix stash. Lol.

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  27. I laugh now about how long it took me to leave the house for the first time with my oldest. 6 weeks. 6 weeks to leave the house with one tiny baby. Now that I'm wrangling three of them, I can't imagine what I was so worried about! Getting out is the key to my sanity now.

    Phoebe is a beauty and I hope she starts gaining for you soon! I have been through that and I know it can be stressful. I've been hesitant to suggest anything, but tongue-tie and lip-tie have been the biggest challenges to breastfeeding two of my boys. From some of what you've written, I wondered if you might be dealing with it with Phoebe as well? I don't want to overstep at all, but I've found this post to be helpful.

    http://www.mommypotamus.com/a-step-by-step-guide-to-diagnosing-tonguelip-ties/

    In any case, I'm sure she'll be gaining in no time!

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  28. Alert Grace! Someone has stolen your life story and made it into the movie Mom's Night Out!, which is the funniest movie I have seen in decades.

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  29. A thousand claps!! You're amazing!

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  30. Good job!! Glad Mommy didn't cry - that's the critical element! And Julia and Bash look SO big in that last picture - they are practically grown up.....! Ha.

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  31. Good for you! When my newest was 4 weeks old, I was feeling brave, so I took the baby, the 19 month old and the 5yo to a Latin Mass. All by myself. I also wore a skirt and veiled for the first (only) time. Crazy much, me?

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  32. Diapers.com free overnight shipping with a $49 purchase! Saved me soooo many times.

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