Tuesday, May 13, 2014

Simon Says

on a scale of 1-5 with Sebastian trucking and Theo squealing and Julia cooing and Phoebe squawking and the laundry begging to be put away the volume level up in here was at a solid 10. and on a scale of 1-asleep Simon was pretty much dead.

While looking at Pinterest for the first time Simon said, "WHAT is this?!"

After changing Sebastian's diaper and commenting on my, "wear it till it's really dirty" policy ... Simon said, "so he's been wearing the same pants for the past 15 changes."

Answering Julia's call for, "HALP" in the bathroom, Simon said, "okay, Theo - are you ready to go on a safari of smells? ... let's go."

While wiping Theo's super runny nose a few weeks ago Simon noted, "well, he's fertile."

Before he left for his first interview in Birmingham, Simon asked, "how offended would you be if I got a professional haircut before my interviews? It's just that ear tufts aren't my best look."

In the middle of one of Julia's epic 99 million rapid fire question sessions Simon asked, "do you think you could turn your personality down to 50% for a few minutes?"

After studying Phoebe for a few minutes, Simon said, "I'd say she looks more like Jay-Z than anyone else."

And finally ... after a fun night of co-sleeping with both Grace and Phoebe in our glorified twin bed, Simon complained, "at one point I had fewer than six inches to call my own so I had to turn on my side and balance delicately on my left love handle."

44 comments:

  1. He's fertile! oh Simon, you Ob-Gyn, you.

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  2. I like to think it's because of me that there is another Simon Says... because I begged for them enough. That's what I'll keep thinking at least! *trots back to read the post*

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  3. Hi! New to your blog, and just saw you're from New Mexico! Me too! I'm from Santa Fe, you??

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    1. Albuquerque :)

      I loved visiting Santa Fe though :)

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  4. I was just thinking it was time for one of these! Thank you for the laughs. So did Theo join him?

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  5. God bless you both. Never a dull moment. We only have 2 and had 3 weeks worth of laundy needing to be folded, yall are good. I figure as long as theres clean clothes who cares if its wrinkled and you had to dig it out of an abyss of uber crinkly baby clothes, towels, bedding, and cloth diapers? Hubby feels differently but he doesnt get a vote in the laundry department. Btw we live in bham, what hospital did simon interview with?

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    1. oh gosh - I'll have to ask him!! all of the hospital names started to blend together. Terrible wife ...

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    2. Only asking cos its like, a tiny world here. Really tiny. Lol.

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  6. I'll definitely be using the 'turn the personality down' line on a minimum of two of my children. :)

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  7. Dying, dying, dying over the fertile comment.

    And I should not be reading right now, but once I saw Simon Says, I had to click over.

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  8. I just died laughing. Professional hair cut, 6 inches of space.

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  9. These always crack me up. Love it.

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  10. WORTH THE WAIT. Oh Simon, three cheers!

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  11. fertile...

    that. is. not. right! ha!

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  12. Simon Says posts are like the Cool Ranch Doritos of the Internet. Soooo good.

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  13. bahahahahahahahaha you know you've studied NFP when.... :)

    Thank you, Simon, for blessing us with your wit...it's about time!

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  14. Just got home from a Symptothermal NFP class, and the "fertile" comment made my evening. Chart it!

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  15. Yes! I saw this and couldn't wait for tomorrow. The NFP comment and the cosleeping were faves!

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  16. the nfp/fertile snot comment- had me in stitches!

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  17. hahahahaha gimme more of Simon and Julia Says Pleaseeeee

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  18. Simon says is probably my favorite!!! Thanks for making my day!

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  19. Love Simon Says, and I can totally relate to the rapid fire question sesh. My 4 year old has been super intense with the questions lately, I'm going to ask him to tone his personality down too. :)

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  20. Yes! Simon Says returns! Welcome back from your travels, Simon!

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  21. Hahahahaha, I LOVE THESE! I will be repeating that fertile joke to all of my friends, thank you.

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  22. your family is seriously hilarious.

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  23. oh how I have missed Simon Says. Always makes me cry with laughter. so freaking funny. Thanks for sharing!!

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  24. I've been MISSING this:) Of course I concur with the rest of the comments on the 'fertile' snot, but taking Julia's personality down to 50% is classic. LOVE.it.

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  25. Simon's the best. The fertility one made me snort.

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  26. i'm convinced the patton house is the most fun ever!

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  27. Read the NPF joke....loved it....read it to my husband....then got a text about it from my sister....then had a convo about it at work. Classic!

    I also loved asking Julia to take her personality down to 50%.

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  28. The fertile comment KILLED me. Too funny.

    What was Julia's response to Simon's personality question?

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  29. I'm pretty sure the fertile comment takes the cake....still laughing, hilarious! :)

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  30. It is a common reflex of mine to do a fist pump when I see the title Simon Says. This one is definitely a new favorite.

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  31. So glad my SIL still cracks me up! Did he get the professional hair cut? rofl

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  32. hahaha.. fertile ohmy. thanks to NFP and residency! haha
    I have had pictures like this post-call. sleeping on the couch with a screaming baby or two climbing all over me... IT WILL GET BETTER! soon!

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  33. the fertility quip made me literally choke on my coffee. hilarious!

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  34. BAHAHAHA. I have been wondering lately if there'd be another Simon Says soon!

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