just an 18 year phase, I promise.

19 November 2013

Not that it is even kind of possible but it's really probably best for all parties involved (future Grace wanting to take a gander back at some smiley memories, future Patton children that don't want to be horrified and appalled by their behavior as youngsters, and you who might not want to read the true nit and grit of my feelings about mornings like this one) that I only blog when the sweet little lambs are asleep. It's definitely best on days like today when I swear on an imaginary but tangible grave that the kids woke up and before screaming like tortured and caged animals from their cages for their, "MAAAAAAAAAAAM!!!!" they vowed to test the whole, "unconditional love" bit of parenthood. Today they tested it hard and they tested it in unison and they ran rightonby and traipsed all over any feelings of obligatory motherly "like" that were lingering after our wake ups and breakfast and breakfast cleanup and the gymnastics meet that is getting them dressed.

 "Mom's gotten two of us dressed without taking a couch-sitting-wall-staring-cleansing-breath of a break. A first!!"


Sebastian's new thing is to lay down next to Theo (who is always sitting) and get him to pull his hair with his grip of death. They both find it hilarious and Julia and I bond over our synchronized stares of, "you both crazy."

The thing about babies and toddlers that I find the most comforting is that everything unpleasant is a phase. Everything. The insanity of sleepless nights with a newborn, crawling (I hate crawling - just walk/run and stop making me worry that you've MacGyvered a cigarette butt from the park floor into your mouth because even I have mothering standards), teething (did I tell you one of Julia's molars bled when it came in? It's rare but it happens and it was awful but ... it's over!), awkward hair (it may have taken poor Julia 3 years to get out of this phase but ... I think we are outish of the woods), clingy dispositions, eating strikes, bathing phobias, and even diapers - those eventually stop being necessary which seems really crazy at this stage of my life but .... it'll happen.


(Someone joked that Theo had an emo haircut this weekend and um .... he's right. Time to find my ziplock of baby locks from first haircuts that I save and treasure and joke alert.)

But.

Always an outlier. I do not know if Julia and Sebastian are ever going to outgrow their fighting stage.

Oh this? This would be their version of harmony.

They love a good brawl. Simon says we should just shut the basement door and let them Hunger Game it to the (proverbial) death but I can't do it. I always assume that Sebastian has finally actually gone through with biting one of Julia's fingers off or that Julia has finally sat on Sebastian's head long enough to almostkill him and I have to go and referee and take toys away and threaten and eventually go through with super early bed times.

But today they independently worked out a little barter (doctor bag for dump truck) and there's a huge gaping hole in the floor where my jaw dropped down to my ankles because that has never happened. So maybe there's a little tiny sprig of hoping that's just biding its time until it pushes up and through the battlefield that is currently Grace's hell. Maybe it will be a phase too.

So please no one go and burst my fatty dream bubble because right now I just think that there is no way on God's sweet green earth that my precious little (emo) Theodore is going to grow up ...


to be a professional gladiator like his siblings ...


no way at all.


23 comments:

  1. 2 toddler, 1 crib...BABY CAGE MATCHES! Pretty sure you could get a pay per view on that...

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  2. Oh my gosh!!! Look at all of his adorable baby fat!!!! When did that happen!?!

    And of course he's going to fight with his siblings. That's what kids do and it's normal, right? At least that's what I tell myself while my kids are calling each other names.

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  3. I hate crawling & I imagine I will hate it with Hudson more than I did with Easton because Hudson gets into everything! Kid can barely army wiggle around and swipes everything! I sound like a weirdo constantly yelling "hey swiper, no! Swiper no!" (Thanks Dora for that nickname) I hate phases too, why must you grow out of your sweet snuggly baby-ness to moody teethy whiney baby-ness?? Why!?!!!!??

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  4. When they got old enough, my solution to the endless need to referee was that they either needed to work it out themselves, or I would punish all offending/participating parties. And, oh by the way, I don't CARE what the fight was about - don't tell me because I don't want to know. The other brilliant strategy I learned from another parent was the "bickering room" - in my house, the hall bathroom. If you are bickering, you must go in the bickering room with the door closed until you work it out. And you must hug your brother in front of me to prove that everything is resolved (that's the worst punishment!). They end up laughing and all is resolved.

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  5. I am there, I mean here, I mean I am in this same "phase" and why wouldn't I be our kids are almost the same ages. I am not currently pregnant and having to brake up the dog and cat fights...so Grace for the win!! My husband and I have had the same conversation...just let them fight it out. And I have come to the conclusion, the first rule of fight club is no one talks about fight club. Isn't that what my good friend brad pitt once said? Good sound parenting advice right there.

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  6. Best sibling fight ever: my middle son and youngest son were fighting. Youngest son threw a fork which impaled itself in middle son's arm (very little blood, practically a flesh wound). Middle son yells at him, "you need anger management!" Youngest son replies, "you need b*tch control!". They were both teenagers at the time. To THIS DAY if anyone gets particularly testy, one of my kids is likely to say, "you need anger management" to which someone else is sure to offer the original reply. At the time, I was sure we were going to end up on the news. I was also sure that they wouldn't all make it to adulthood without SOMEBODY, maybe me, going to jail. It turns out that my predictions were wrong. They're fabulous men with healthy relationships and they're each others' best friends. Have you seen the "get along" shirt? Take a very large men's tshirt and make them wear it at the same time. I also used to make my kids recite the verse, "how good and pleasant it is when brothers live in unity". It's in Psalms. You could paraphrase it to be "siblings live in unity".

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    1. Thank you, Heather for sharing this. As an only child who is now a mother to seven, sibling relationships baffle me, and the crazy fighting and bickering in my house often drives me insane! I'm sure this story/memory wasn't funny at the time, but it sure just provided me with a much needed laugh. It's also so nice to know it's not just my kids!

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  7. you just make me laugh...you are correct though. EVERYTHING is a phase at this age. It's all about who is going to still be standing in the end. I have my money on Mama Grace. :)

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  8. When my mother-in-law died we found a tin full of my husbands baby hair. So so gross. (we didn't keep it)

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  9. It is a phase. All of it. My daughter and her next youngest brother were out for each other's blood on a regular basis. During one fight, when they were about 6 and 7, my daughter put her brother's head through a window. Out for blood. And non-stop bickering.
    Then just last year (at newly turned 13 years old), she proved she had been listening for all these years. She gave bickering with her brother up for Lent. Even when he was a little booger and tried to pick a fight, she ignored him. Our household changed. The relationship between all 6 kids changed because of her one decision. While there are still a few tiffs every once in a while, my daughter and her most-hated brother are now, at the ages of 13 and 12, actual friends.
    Have faith. And earplugs.

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  10. Best parenting advice I have received: "Someday this will be a story you tell." Goodness, that's hard to believe when we're in the thick of it, but it has gotten me through some stupid long phases.

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  11. Theo's chubby legs combined with Theo's chubby feet in socks.
    DYING OVER HERE from too much cuteness!

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  12. Theo belly is just too cute. I love that you take photos even on days like these.

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  13. I know I am late on commenting, but where on earth did you buy Julia's sweater? My little chunker needs one with the open belly area and I've admired this one before. It's darling (as is its wearer). And btw, I can barely dress two. I'd roll the dice on which one stayed nakie.

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    1. isn't it great? I got it on thredup but it's from Old Navy and it's in great shape so it might be from this year. I know they repeat a lot of the same styles year after year too ... worth looking!!!

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  15. I love that photo of Bash and Julia. And I love the boys' hair pulling bonding. Not what I'm into, but it's so cute that they both find it hilarious. Right now, I'm hoping that Grace's penchant for pushing Sophie over is a phase, but I'm afraid it will last right through the teen years.

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  16. Theo definitely has sumo-erish looks. Which means maybe he'll be the one who always wins and shuts down the fighting.
    You never know.

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  17. LOL, you're writing is hilarious. i love it. are you a professional writer?

    adorable children, as well. Three. wow. (and a fourth on the way?!) i go bananas managing two. Though, i've heard that after three, it's just the same; juggling is juggling. one friend put it, "might as well have ten!"

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  18. Beefin' up for the big game, Theo? You're a tank, buddy. Loves it.

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  19. Holy cow... could they be any CUTER!?! That last picture of Theo just about did me in.

    And Sebastian looks like a teenager already. What is up with that?

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