what I wish I'd known

19 June 2015

While we wrestle with the last few days of apartment living, get acquainted with Bosco, make our way down to Florida next week, and I hopefully get the birth story pounded out I have some super sweet e-treats for all of you. I asked some of my favorite internet females to answer this super original prompt: What I wish I'd known before I had kids ... and their answers were all so great, so funny, and so touching. If you don't already follow them on all trillion mediums of social media ... hop to it. 

I'm seriously considering being a bit of a creep and having them all printed and bound into a book to call my very own at the end. SO much practical wisdom to glean from every mom. Here's the first installation of answers! And Happy Freakin' Friday, bb.

Jenna from Wilber Huset {grammage too!}:

"I was always one to roll my eyes at the motivational poster “It Takes a Village” plastered at every childcare facility and school I walked through over the years. As someone who has always aimed to be an independent woman (~throw your hands up at me~), I fought this surrender for so long thinking and honestly believing I’m supposed to be able to handle the overwhelmingness of having kids alone. Once I accepted that if I traded in a bit of my pride for some sanity by finally asking for help, everyone in my family would be happier, especially this dependent mama."

Jessica from Everly and Rosie:

My twin girls are now a year old, and despite what people keep telling you - it does not get easier. For many months I kept telling myself, "If I can just past this colicky stage," or "If I can just get them on an ideal schedule," or "if they would just sleep through the night..." but each new milestone comes with a litany of equally as difficult hurdles. Every time I think I have them figured out, baby girls throw me for a loop and give me the ultimate lesson in humility. Funny enough, once I resigned to the fact that motherhood is super hard - that there are no shortcuts or magic numbers or fancy tricks that will make it any less challenging - things seemed to get, well, easier. I also learned that an intricate stroller is for the birds - an inexpensive double umbrella stroller has taken us all over the fine city of Albuquerque.  

Christy from Fountains of Home:

I wish I knew that after becoming a mother I would wake up every day knowing I had a purpose - for my life, for my day, for my hour, and sometimes for each and every minute. And that I could depend on laughing every day as my children see the world with new eyes full of wonder who find the joy in every little thing and have turned out to be hilarious and interesting little people.

Amber from 3 Ladies + Their Gent (and on Insta!)

There are so many ideas/topics/words of advice I could write about in relation to new moms like "..if someone offers help, TAKE IT..and don't feel bad about it.." or .."you'll never use the bathroom alone again, so get used to that now.." but something that has remained on my mind throughout my entire (second) pregnancy is directly related to what I didn't remember to do during my first pregnancy with the twins.  I failed to take time to soak in the idea of being a mom.  The number one question I get from friends and strangers alike goes something like "I bet carrying one is soooo different from your twin pregnancy.." 

Well, all things considered, yes.  I am less whale-ish, but really it was the emotional aspect of the entire thing that has caught me off guard.

It was simply the unknown surrounding my entire pregnancy the first go round that caused me to actually take a few weeks (a month?) before I  was able to realize that I was a mother.  A mother to two precious little beings that I carried, nourished, and now was flung into caring for (and keeping alive).  Motherhood is such a beautiful thing to step into, and I let myself get caught up into the 'what-ifs' of the days, weeks, and months prior to and following the birth of my girls.  For lack of a better word to describe the situation .. it was actually a JOB.  It was hard work.  From weeks 24-37 I found myself on what felt like permanent bed rest to keep them incubated until they were ready to be born.  Then it was birth.  C-section or natural - singletons or multiples, that's hard work.  We are amazing creatures to be able to endure any of that.  I realized looking back that there was a lot of recovery that took place postpartum, and not just from birth, but the hype of the last 9 months had all come to a head and here I was at the end of it now with two babies.  Of course, I wouldn't change a single thing about any of it - and if I knew how amazing this motherhood thing was going to be like, I would have figured out how to have done it sooner.

With all that behind me, and sort of knowing what is expected of me on delivery day and sort of having an idea of what I am doing as a new mother for the second time around, I daydream.  I daydream not about the 'what-ifs' and unknowns of pregnancy, delivery, and motherhood, but of her sweet little nose.  What the shape of her eyes will be.  Rubbing her teeny baby ears.  And ultimately getting to hold her tight after 40 weeks of waiting. 

Moral of my sappy story: Don't get caught up in the crazy of life.  Take a moment to think about the beauty of it all. The beauty of motherhood and pregnancy.  You wont regret it. 

There are SO many things! I wish I'd known that some of my dearest friends are my fellow mom friends. I wouldn't have felt overwhelmed by the whole thing if I knew that I'd have a group of girls around me going through similar, if not the exact same, things. Support is crucial, whether it's a girlfriend you can text and share your baby's new milestones with, or someone to give you advice on sleep training or which car seat they really like. The friendships are so valuable! 

(Grace again!)
Thank you, thank you, thank you ladies! More where that came from very SOON ....


  1. These were so sweet to read! Off to follow all of them!

  2. I love reading things like this! Thanks Grace, and all of you sweet moms :)

  3. These ladies are all so sweet! I often find that your other friends that are moms can shed such invaluable light and help you with things that you had no idea about. Moms are amazing!


  4. This post is so sweet. Such great advice and insight. Really sweet pictures too!


  5. All this bad for postpartum me. Too much cries.

  6. Love this too much. All diverse yet beautiful and perfect descriptions of motherhood. Such a great idea!

    ....Now hurry up with that birth story ;)



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