Holstein Brownies

26 August 2014

oh, Grace.

You are reaching new and ghastly lows with your food photography and font choice/placement.

What else is new? Nothing. I think you'll live.

I know the internet is FILLED with gorgeous food and recipe blogs so it's borderline ridiculous that I post anything in the culinary sphere but I promise these are really, really tasty and I would never post anything that I don't think you'll love. These are well worth your time.

So! let's move on. I could've said moo-ve but ... you were spared.

If you've ever had the pleasure of enjoying anything baked by Simon's mom, Ann, you know I don't exaggerate when I say that she is a bakerella/wizard when it comes to baked goods. It's all amazing. All of it. She makes these Holstein brownies a lot when we visit because Simon is a big chocolate person. Let's rephrase that for the grammar fanatics lest they think Simon resembles a human sized chocolate bunny or something ... he enjoys chocolate a lot. If there's a flourless chocolate anything on any menu ever he always chooses that over any other type of sugar. He likes rich chocolate. And these deliver! They are super rich although the holstein splotches do break it up a bit but if you're big on just chocolate you could most certainly make these sans spots. I try to make them for Simon's birthday and our anniversary. Try!

Here we go (I usually cut it in half but really regretted doing so this time because the three older kids LOVED these and they were gobbled up really quickly) ... verbatim from the master herself!


4 ounces bittersweet chocolate
½ stick butter
2 tablespoons strong brewed coffee
1 cup firmly packed brown sugar
1 cup granulated sugar
*5 large eggs
¼ tsp. Salt
¾ cup flour
¼ cup cocoa
1 cup chocolate chips (or heck, a little more)
8 ounces cream cheese, softened

  • Microwave bittersweet chocolate, butter and coffee until melted
  • In a separate bowl mix brown and white sugars, salt and *4 eggs with electric mixer until well blended, add flour, cocoa, and salt
  • Add chocolate mixture
  • Add chocolate chips
  • Pour batter into well-greased 9 x 13 pan (or you can make cupcakes! also delicious!)
  • In another bowl beat together cream cheese and remaining *egg and drop by spoonfuls onto batter, “yep to resemble that holstein.” I also swirl the cream cheese a bit (goodbye holstein!)
  • Bake at 325 for 25-30 minutes



  1. Nom. Simon and I are kindred chocolate spirits.

    I'm going to have to send you my recipe for chocolate chip cream cheese cupcakes. SO GOOD.

  2. Replies
    1. They are! I can say so bc it's not my recipe :)

  3. I don't think it's possible for the internet to have too many pictures of brownies. LOVE the holstein spotted thing too - how fun. Now that Phoebe's had a taste of avocado, are her sights moving on to things chocolate-related yet? ;)

  4. I am not a huge chocolate fan (I much prefer fruit-based deserts) but these look quite delicious. I bet they would be good with a couple of fresh raspberries on top of the cheese!

  5. As a poorly-traveled reader from Philadelphia, I have absolutely no idea what holstein is. I googled it and it gave me German region, but with pictures of cows. LOL. Um...?

    1. Haha weird!! I'm pretttttty sure it's a cow with spots but now I'm second guessing everything!

    2. As a Wisconsinite I can confirm it's a cow :) If you don't believe me wikipedia will back me up

    3. Thanks! Learn something every day. :) Now off to make this brownies...

  6. I'm not a huge chocolate fan either, but I make an English variation of this. I used to be terribel at baking brownies (think scrambled, chocolate flavoured, tear stained eggs) but i then found a fantastic cream cheese recipe and i've been crowd pleasing ever since! I did snickers ones and raspberry this week, and the raspberry is a game changer. Lx

  7. it seems im also a terrible speller. Terribel? Need coffee.

  8. Haha! I was just reading that sleep drunk is a thing. Maybe you didn't get enough?

  9. oh yummy! have you tried those better than crack brownies? i am not even that big of a chocolate person (well, i like chocolate, of course) and these are to die for. it's the sea salt.
    better than crack brownies:
    individual peach crisp:

  10. I'm 39 weeks pregnant and these seem like juuuust the thing to get me through a few more days. You speak the language of my pregnant soul!

  11. When you asked for post suggestions I wanted to say recipes! and you read my mind :) thanks! Your recipes are always a hit and the most fun to read. My hubby "is a chocolate person" too, and I think there is slight literal meaning there. Can't wait to try these!

  12. You always act like you're a terrible food photographer, but I think your shots are really good. And I've seen some really bad ones from some otherwise really good food bloggers! Are you taking it on your iPhone? If so, how are you getting that close up-sharp/background blurry effect? I know how to do it on my fancy camera, but if there's a way to do that on my iPhone my poor Rebel may never get picked up again!

    1. haha thanks Stacy! OH NO - this is fancy camera skills. But I know you can get a blurred background on your phone if you hold the food/subject REALLY close and tap on the screen a few times :)

  13. Look's super delish<3

  14. I'm gonna need to make these. Yum.

  15. I assume this post is an answer to my health post request.
    Made these tonight. Delicious! They took more like 40 minutes for me, but yum!

  16. going home to make these RIGHT RIGHT NOW



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