obstacle course

16 July 2014

greetings from the land of Been Trying To Blog For Many Many MANY Hours. So, no time for pleasantries because I'm very very busy having fun in Adventureland. I think this post is being typed in Comic Sans or something equally terrible but ... I can't tell and I'll explain why.

Now!

Let's take a gander at all the technical roadblocks I've encountered in the past 28 hours.

Last night Simon was at work and Phoebe was throwing down one of her more impressive bedtime meltdowns when I heard Julia tattle-hollering on Sebastian. No one likes a tattle-tale but I happen to love them. Generally when Julia feels the need to shriek about Sebastian's shenanigans ... it's for very good and horrifying reasons. Short story short Sebastian had built himself a little step up to the trashcan which he used to climb onto the counter and grab a bottle of window cleaner (Windex for those that don't go the generic route). He had then dumped a hefty amount all over the laptop's keyboard, in an effort to effectively ruin my life over the course of 25 seconds.

I ran/bounced into the kitchen holding an angry Phoebe, surveyed the damage and had a little meltdown of my own.

Allow Julia to demonstrate* ...

Monkey see, I suppose.

I blinked a few times and consulted my phone and Googled something along the lines of, "liquid all over keyboard survival rate" and all of the answers were incredibly grim.

LIFE OVER.

(Should I admit that this was FAR more upsetting than the time we came veryclose to freezing to death in our own home? No, I won't.)

I looked at Sebastian who showed nary a sliver of remorse ...

Theo did an excellent job of reenacting Sebastian's concern.

Oh, I know. It's just a thing and I should probably be more concerned that Sebastian can slither his way up on top of the counter in .02 seconds and into a lot of trouble faster than I can say, "negligent parent!!". But I'm not exactly the best at backing up my hoards of photos and was mostly upset about the prospect of losing those. And, Shallow Hal might've been a smidgeon concerned about her blogging. She didn't want to leave her blog loving grandma hanging.

So I took the felon to the Apple Store today (while Simon propped his eyelids open with sharp objects after a long overnight shift and dealt with the other kids) where they had no fewer than EIGHT iPads set up for kids (?!) loaded with games which only confused Sebastian, "show, mom? watch show?" ....

We figured out how to paint ... sort of.

It reads, "I'm not sure what you said there, Fat." Luckily, Sebastian can't read. Nor can he subtract and was none too pleased when one of the games tried to teach him how to do both.

After waiting and waiting in the craziest store where all patience goes to die it was our turn (plebeian walk-ins! apparently people make appointments after their computers are suddenly damaged beyond repair? It seems to make as much sense as calling ahead to the ER to make an appointment for next week in the event that someone needs some stitches ... or maybe I was just dining on some sour grapes)

After lots of technical mumbo jumbo talk and lots of plugging and unplugging various cords the Genius Bartender said I was in luck and so I sat up a little straighter ...

"how much luck?!"

Not that much. They were able to transfer everything over onto a new (not free) computer. Well, it's still transferring at the store (HOARDS of photos ... ) which leads me to tonight.

I'm using Simon's laptop from med school and the poor thing sounds an awful lot like it could use a tank of oxygen because it's loud and tired and freezes every six minutes for seven solid minutes.

But the blog must go on. So I opened up Picasa to upload some photos to this post and was immediately greeted by some very detailed photos Simon had used for a conference poster last year. A poster about vaginal surgery.

 yeah.

And so, here we be. A post about my treacherous journey to blog. This would be one of those,"I never knew you could be so underwhelming, Grace" moments. I try to keep them to a minimum but ... generic window cleaner happens. Life goes on. Or it will just as soon as I get my 5th child back in my possession.

*Julia was upset because she and Sebastian were in timeout (those parents!) and Sebastian kept calling her a, "bad boy!!" and she lost it and argued that, "no!!! I'm a bad guwl!!" and so it went. And went. And went. Sue me for snapping some memory keepers.

I'll be back in a flash. Promise.

48 comments:

  1. Also, so sad. Also, I love Julia.

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  2. I never imagined I would find myself saying this, but the best part was definitely the vaginal surgery.

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  3. "a poster about vaginal delivery" ...seriously spit my coffee out of my mouth...that is so funny!! glad you can rescue your photos though!

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  4. Apple needs to a desperate moms with children counter --- the iPads just don't entertain for THAT long :/

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  5. Note to self...do not read your blog while attempting to rock a molar teething mammal to sleep. I laughed so hard (not at you but maybe with Sebastian, did he laugh at all?). Bless you for taking a child to the apple store, and I hope everything gets fixed as fast as bash can climb on a trash can!

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  6. I dare ya to share the vaginal surgery poster in your next post. You can title it Simon Sews.

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    1. Ha! Never in a million years!

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    2. Choking on coffee and laughing ;D

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    3. SIMON SEWS! I just snorted and my office mate looked at me strangely.

      Oh my gosh. So funny.

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    4. Simon Sews, oh laws! Hahaha!

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    5. Heh, you're welcome. C'mon Grace you could add a whole new target audience to your blog...might lose some of the old though. It's a toss up.

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  7. I don't keno what's worse crawlers or climbers, my distaste for both stages (is climbing a stage? It feels like a forever thing) is high!

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  8. Oh Grace how I love your writing and those pics of Julia, so funny! I could take pics like that of my 4 year old "guwl" everyday when she melts down about things like putting her clothes on or going to the bathroom or going to bed or her sister looking at her....you get the idea!

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  9. 1) I'm impressed that no vaginal surgery photos accidentally made their way into the post.
    2) I had to look twice to see if that angry/sad face was Julia. I don't think I've ever seen a picture of her anything but frolicking and cheerful. That's because she's always frolicking and cheerful, right?

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  10. Ahhhhhh. As unfunny as the situation was, this was a funny post. Glad you didn't lose your photos! And glad that you can still blog :)

    Totally LOLed at the surgery photos. Still LOLing.

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  11. I had this same experience, to the T, on Monday morning, care of a naughty second-born dumping acetone containing nail polish remover all over my macbook. After an overnight rest and being laid on it's side, the screen miraculously restored itself, but I still took it in to the highly sought-after "geniuses" with all 3 kids in tow where I was literally laughed into the kid's corner for not having scheduled this emergency. N E way, the boys were utterly confounded by the iPads, the Geniuses were too busy to see me, and the laughing intake guy? bouncer? back slapped me and told me to count my lucky stars, buy an external hard drive, and go on my merry way. I'm sorry yours was mortally wounded!

    (Not trying to one up you here, just thought you needed to know we're on a parallel collision course with doom. And best parenting practices.)

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  12. Haha! Can we get an actual pic of your face as you stumbled upon those pics?! ;) so sorry your computer got destroyed by the Ultimate Destroyer but so glad you got things recovered!

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  13. At least they were able to save your stuff. The bottle of window cleaner on the other hand, wasn't so lucky ;)

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  14. Is it weird to say that I love your writing the most when it's about kid-related catastrophes? So witty and funny. Sebastian is the best---errrrrr--worst.

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  15. The pics with the post... solid win! HAHAHAHAHAHA! Ohhhh, so funny.
    Except, so sorry that the hilarity is at your computer's expense. My condolences, that must have been hell for a bit there.

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  16. You should look into the rubber key board covers for they new one. They won't stop from disaster but they do stop from minor stuff. Mine has been a savor of crums and a godson yogurt spill. Also turning the beast upside down when minor spills on it happen also work. Well at least it did for me. I know apple sell the key board covers, but you can also get them at best buy and such. Glad they were able to save the info. Could you imagine loosing it all?

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    1. Im all over a keyboard cover! :) and yes, so happy I didn't lose it all

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  17. Oh, I'm sure I would have thrown a tantrum... And I really need to back up my photos, stat. Sorry for your ordeal, but I really really love this post. So hard. Photos and all.

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  18. After a nail file to the eye followed by trip to pediatric er whetr triage doubted the 1/2inch scratch we described because hannabert wad no where near tears and more upset that he was on the bed and I was on the chair, my mom, in all sincerity suggested that Horn and I create a safety plan to prevent future accidents.

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  19. Never did I ever think I would see "vaginal surgery" amongst this post. I definitely snort-laughed. Thankful you were able to save your photos!!

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  20. My son ripped all the buttons off my laptop keyboard in the matter of minutes one time LOL loved the pics!
    Stopping by from The Other Juliette.

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  21. Carbonite is great for backing up. It works in the background - you don't ever have to do a thing! I have mine set to backup ev 24 hrs ;)

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  22. At least he solved the sticky space button problem for you:(

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  23. Now that Lucy has started tantrumming...we may or may not be guilty of taking pictures and the occasional video. I know her feelings are very real to her, but the level of RUINED her world becomes when we have to take back our phones is just a tad on the ridic side.

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  24. A few months in from having my first I realized I had taken pictures of every facial expression, except for the crying. I needed to capture everything, so I'm guilty of snapping memory keepers as well. It's a good thing you did too, cause they went peerrrfect with the post.

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  25. Nothing invokes more panic to me than the thought of my computer being damaged/dying. Irrational fear? Perhaps but I don't think so. And if you definitely need your own computer since Simon's has a poster on vaginal surgery on it.

    I'm going to go find a Henry-proof hiding place for my computer.

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  26. Very few people can see bare woman parts on their husband's laptop and not be upset by it!

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  27. This whole post made me laugh so hard. So sorry for your misfortune but you sure do manage to put a humorous spin on it! I for one am glad that you make such an effort to blog, even in the face of adversity. Your posts always brighten my day.

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  28. Ohhhh mylanta that sounds horrendous. I would have been screaming very loudly. I would try to keep obscenities to a minimum but I would be screaming. Because my photos of my children are so important to me. I need a cloud. That I need to back up daily. So glad that they could transfer them for you! And that we haven't lost you. ;)

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  29. Ahhhh these are the days? Haha I'm sooo incredibly thankful that I do not have climbers. You're a saint. That is all :)

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  30. Ohh no!! I'm glad they could back up your photos though.

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  31. oh my god, i really need to stop reading your blog at work. my co-workers probably think i'm nuts.

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  32. Thank goodness they were able to save the photos. I have so many backup routines, it's crazy. What would have really been the cherry on the cake would have been if you had accidently uploaded Simon's photos....! :)

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  33. Omg- glad your photos could be saved... I try to back all mine up to shutterfly from my phone, maybe that's an easy option for you if you take them all from your phone? I really want to buy some sort of external hard drive or something though so I can delete some of them from my computer (videos included) because I know the sheer number of them is slowing that poor computer down. :)

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  34. The only good thing about these horrifying shenanigans is that they are perfect blog post material.

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  35. Reading this brought back memories...from just a couple of weeks ago...where almost the very same thing happened to me. Except my son knocked over hot coffee, and it was my company's laptop. My son greeted the Genius with a very loud "Helloooooo Nurse!" and then she greeted us back with the devastating news that the laptop was fried. So I bolstered up the courage to tell my boss by splitting a carton of peanut butter cookies with my son while we waited for the bus to take us back to no-laptop land. My son thought this whole adventure was the best ever--#preschoolperspective.

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  36. Omg I was laughing so hard. NOT at your expense, just at the craziness that is mom life, and you got the BEST shots of facial expressions that went perfectly with this post. I hope everything gets fixed soon!

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  37. Oh my gosh, the facial expressions. You caught them perfectly....I laughed and laughed. So glad you didn't lose your photos! I'm about to buy an external hard drive for mine because apparently my husband says I live in the 2005.

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  38. I think this is one of my favorite blog posts ever in the camp! LOL! So funny! Sorry for you Grace, but finding Simon's pics while trying to blog?! Hilarious! That's one rule I have at home with my husband (an archaeologist) he can bring as much books and sheds of pottery as he wants, but no bones or skulls! :) Luckily, I'm a botanist and work only with plants...

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