Julia Styles

14 January 2014

dress - thredup
boots - Lands' End via thredup
scarf - from our favorite Lauren

At the grocery store recently ...
Grace: Okay ... now we need to find the pickles
Julia: (loudly) the nipples? okay!
Julia: (still louder) are the nipples in this aisle? nooo
Grace: (not loud) the pickles
Julia: (and even louder) are the nipples in THIS aisle? noooo
Grace: (not loud) I said pickles
Julia: (aaaand louder) are the nipples in THIS aisle? noooo
Grace: here are the pickles
Julia: (booming voice) OH .. the PICKLE nipples. Got it.

While throne reigning in the bathroom and watching Theo crawl in to watch ...
Julia: one day you will be like me and be potty trained, Theo
Theo: (stares)
Julia: But for now, can you just give me some pribacy?
Theo: (stares)
Julia: that means get out
Theo: (stares)
Julia: now
Theo: (stares some more)

After she accidentally dropped and broke a plate and I walked in to survey the situation ...
Julia: okay Gracer, just take a deep breast
Grace:
Julia: and we'll take this one step at a time
Grace: 


While on a frantic search for her mother who was a tiny bit desperate to not be found because ... long day ...
Julia: mom?
Grace:
Julia: mommy?
Grace:
Julia: MOM?!
Grace:
Julia: Grace Patton, this is a serious sing!!!!

While she was enjoying the lap of luxury that is a bath all to herself ...
Julia: ahhh what a beautiful day it's been
Julia: allll dis pribacy

In conversation with Sebastian ...
Sebastian: Julia?
Julia: Well, do I look like a Julia?
Sebastian:
Julia: Then I am Julia, what do you want from me?

After she walked in on me in the bathroom in the middle of my stomach flu vom plague of death ...
Julia: ooooo I wouldn't do that again
Grace:
Julia: okay, I'll just give you some pribacy.
Grace: 
Julia: (whispers) Merry Christmas

Encountering Sebastian directly after he'd dropped a fresh bomb ...
Julia: Bash! you smell riddy riddy bad!!!
Bash:
Julia: I sink even Theo can smell you!!
Bash: yeah

Holding up one of her sweaters ...
Julia: where did you buy this again?
Grace: Old Navy
Julia: oh, but what was the old lady's name?

After the kids begged for scrambled eggs even though Theo is the only child that will eat scrambled eggs ...
Grace: are you SURE you're going to actually eat them this time?
Julia: well ... we can probably promise that we will eat them

After insisting that she accompany me into the bathroom stall at the hospital ...
Julia: wow, Mom.
Grace:
Julia: wow
Grace: what?
Julia: those are the biggest underwears I've seen ever EVER

Picking up one of my bras from the laundry pile and giving it a good inspection ...
Julia: And THIS is what holds the baby inside.

And today on her second trip to the Costco family restroom because it was an "emergency" ...
Julia: (emptying bladder and chanting) fresh from my body and stray-hate to the potty!
Bash: (nodding in agreement and offering her a square inch of toilet paper) yeah.




70 comments:

  1. These never get old. The underwear and bra ones are the best! Please send her to CA asap.

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  2. Ok, this is the best group of Julia styles to date. "Merry Christmas" pretty much made my year.

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  3. Oh how that girl cracks me up! And if she wants to see some much, much bigger underwears, send her my way.

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  4. "Fresh from my body and stray-hate to the potty"... I died. She is hilarious.

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  5. These are too good, I'm trying to suppress my laughter at work. And also, those boots are too adorable!

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  6. This just made my day. So funny! And I love the jumping pic...those always make me smile.

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  7. After the day I had, I needed a good laugh and this did it! Laugh out loud funny as always, thank you!

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  8. I'm gonna start saying Merry Christmas for granted favors. Make it a thing. These posts are my forever favorites.

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  9. Perfect timing. I just had to send my kids to their rooms before I lost my mind. Thanks for the laugh, Julia!

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  10. Laughing till I cry, as usual. Everyone needs their pribacy!

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  11. Julia...my sweet Julia...how I love you. Let me count the ways.
    Thanks for making me laugh today.

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  12. I was so excited when I saw this on my feed. Love her! hahahaha.

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  13. Does that chant work for bombs? Please say yes.

    I love picturing her saying these things! That Merry Christmas would have made me crack a teensy smile even during the plague.

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  14. The bath one is definitely my favorite, but I'm fairly certain next time one of my pets bangs on (dogs or cat)/yowls at (cat) the bathroom door, I will be demanding "PRIBACY!"

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  15. Too funny! And those boots are SO cute!

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  16. I die laughing every time I read one of these! You could seriously write a book with all her cute sayings :-)

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  17. The underwear.......! I'm dying!

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  18. She's too cute. I love reading all the things she says, because toddlers are the truest most genuine comedians!!!

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  19. The underwear.......! I'm dying!

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  20. I like live for her hilarity. My husband and I read these posts and pretty much think she is the greatest.

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  21. Oh thank you. Having such a hard day with my 16 mo old because-- rsv and vomiting. I think I might read it again...

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  22. Gah! She is so funny! I'm consistently impressed you can remember her hilarity. I'm pretty sure if have to have a Julia journal or something.

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  23. Just noticed you labelled the post ‘bodily fluids and functions’. You are a gem Grace Patton and these posts never fail to make me laugh out loud!

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  24. OMG... my favorite might be the stomach flu/Merry Christmas one. I also love that you remembered to put it on here mid-plague. And the "fresh from the body, straight to the potty" - where in the world did she get that?? So much personality :)

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  25. Seriously, laugh out freakin' loud. Even the hubs enjoys Julia Styles!

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  26. This is my favorite one EVER. Sarah Tucker - my husband loves Julia Styles, too - on this edition, he's debating adopting "fresh from my body and stray-hate to the potty!" to liven up his work bathroom moments.

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  27. Lol my kids say "old lady" for old navy, too. They need some re-branding.

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  28. She's got the best personality! You are raising some good ones over there!

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  29. Her outfit is killing me! And my hubs was chuckling tonight as well....

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  30. Her comments get funnier every time- if that's possible!

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  31. Dying over this post. My kindergarteners are never this clever. J should come teach them a thing or two.

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  32. She cracks me up so much. Bless her for understanding pribacy at a young age. As the oldest of 4 girls, I applaud her demand for pribacy because it's important!

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  33. Oh, Julia. Never was there a funnier child. (And while she's doing GREAT solo, I can't wait for Bash to graduate from (mostly) monosyllabic replies so we can get some serious conversations between those two!)

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  34. These are my favorites. But I have to stop reading your posts during the nightly "why won't you just sleeeeeeep? !" nurseathons because my suppressed laughter snort-wheezes are probably scarring the baby for life.

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  35. Not much makes me laugh out loud... this hit the spot!
    So funny :)

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  36. Best installment yet! That kid is hilarious!

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  37. I don't even know what to say. These are amazing. I love Julia.

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  38. No sleep thanks to two little munchkins, but then Julia saves the morning from the jaws of doom! Merry Christmas brought tears of laughter! Thank you, thank you from the bottom of my heart!

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  39. I. love. Julia. These posts are so fantastic! She is incredibly funny. I can't wait to have a little girl running around my house someday that's as endearing. :)

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  40. Julia styles posts are officially my favourite on all the webs (Simon Says a close 2nd). I saw the post title come into my feedly last night, and saved it as a special treat to read with my morning coffee. You so delivered - Merry Christmas - gah! What a gal!

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  41. She just gets more hilarious every time!

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  42. Seems like pribacy is the theme of the moment. Love these!

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  43. Oh dear god this cracks me up!

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  44. For real she needs to have a book just of her quotes....and I want her outfit!

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  45. Love it so hard. And, re: big underwear, recently my 3 year old daughter picked up a pair of mine from the clean laundry and exclaimed gratefully, "Oh Mommy, you got me a new sheet!"

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  46. She is amazing. She needs her own reality show.

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  47. hahah I can't even tell you how many times I laughed out loud reading this. So so funny!

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  48. I think Julia is a mini Grace. The wit and hilarity!! I love it.

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  49. I think the unsung hero of those post is Bash. Yeah.

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  50. BAHAHAHAHA. I die.

    I would agree with Jenna about Bash being the unsung hero. Even in his silence, he wins me over.

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  51. Okay, I already commented today, but I just wanted to say that I finally checked out Thred Up. Love, love it! Thank you :)

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  52. I've been following for a while, but not sure I've ever commented (does that actually make me a creeper?).

    Today is the day. And these Julia Styles posts get me every.single.time. Every time. I die.

    So, thank you so much! :)

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  53. I'm sitting in my cube, tears dripping down my face from quiet laughing so I don't startle my co-workers. I can't wait until my kid starts talking.

    P.S. Merry Christmas

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  54. My favorite one to date. Please never stop

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  55. I think it's time she get her own blog. I would read every single day!

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  56. I think it's time she get her own blog. I would read every single day!

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  57. I can't even believe this...I am DYING. Hillarity! I just stumbled onto your blog tonight via putting me together, and I think it's going to be a long night because I can't. stop. reading!

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  58. i now read these to my husband every single time. and I think he is just as amused as i am :)

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  59. Oh my god. I'm laughing so hard my stomach is hurting. These are fabulous. The other day a 4 year old that I babysit explained the Big Bang to me. Kids today are amazing!

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  60. I cried and cried from laughing reading this. Best ever.

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  61. I'm sitting at my desk crying I'm laughing so hard. These are so funny.

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