high + low

21 January 2014

I thought I could do a little high/low of the week but then I consulted my brain and realized that it is only Tuesday.

How?

HOW? 

So .... high and low for the last 24 hours, I suppose.

Here we go.

Low time.

Last night I tried for a third time in two days to get my thyroid meds from the pharmacy (first time - they closed five minutes early and there was much figurative fist shaking on my part, second time - it wasn't in stock and I almost took the fist shaking to the literal level) and I had no choice but to take the kids because a little birdie by the name of common sense tells me that I can't leave them home alone. Julia has a bad cold and badder cough that prohibits her from walking in public - as those coughs tend to do - so she had to ride with Theo in the cart which left Sebastian on foot. Sebastian is a runner but I thought maybe he would sense the urgency of the mission and stay tucked in next to his keeper.

No.

If ever there were a time to leash a child ... this would've been it. But I was fresh out of child leashes so we made do with the awkward push-the-massive-cart-with-car-attached with one hand and tight hold of Sebastian's paw with the other. And then we spotted those stupid little kid carts that are good for one thing: maiming adult ankles. Simon let Sebastian use one once (thanks, Sime) and Sebastian hasn't forgotten and so once he realized that I wasn't going to leave the store with bloody ankles ... tantrum like he's never tantrummed before. On the floor. He threw himself on the floor for allllllll to watch and gawk as my massive-cart-with-car-attached blocked the store's entrance. It was one of the most clich├ęd parenting moments with strangers giving those awful looks of half pity and half annoyance and I'm just happy I was too mortified to cry as I scooped all 35 pounds of tantrum up and ran away as fast as a massive-cart-with-car-attached would let me fly.  Which was speeding bullet fast, as you can imagine. And then we were 6th in line at molasses pharmacy but ... free cookies for "kids 10 and under" (and their mothers ... I presume) at the bakery so ... the low was low but saved by some refined sugar.

High time.

Again with Julia's cough. She's been staying up with me while I clean the house after the boys go down because once I put her down it's a real gamble whether or not she'll hack up a lung (despite the 90 degree angled situation I've constructed for her to sit-sleep in in her bed with 987 pillows) so don't question my logic here. I just think putting her down when she's basically asleep makes the most sense ... mathematically. Or scientifically.

It's weird. We can manage to lose every single match to every single sock in the house but those pretty little Halloween socks that she scored for free at the hospital last year? Always together and readily available. Always.

Tonight, as I finished up in the kitchen, she asked if, "you and your tummy need some help with the cleaning?" and, "did daddy say you could use his sponge?" because I guess Simon is usually the sponge wielder. I never claimed that cleaning was my charism.

And then when her eyelids were headed for droopsville and we were walking to her room to put her down she reminded me, "and just please don't forget my bitch."

Of course not. I could never forget your Vicks vapor rub. Never ever.

(I've found that a touch of bitch on the bare bottoms of her socked feet CAN help her to cough less throughout the night ... but hopefully you don't have a coughing child on your hands to help you test my theory.)

And there will be less rambling tomorrow, I reckon.
See you then.

40 comments:

  1. I had a leash as a child. It was light pink with little white polka dots. Apparently once I walked out of the JCPenney store following a woman in a wheelchair... I was a curious and inquisitive child, what can I say.

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  2. Is it croup? Annabelle and Everett both just had it- AWFUL and were kind enough to give me the adult version via severe head cold/sinus infection. Dimetap (or however you spell it) for kids 4 and over (Since belle is a huskaroo and weighs as much as a 5 year old) was our savior at night. Good luck!

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    1. AH. Nothing worse when pregnant because there is almost nothing to be done. I'm sorry!!!

      I don't think it is ... but might have to try that. Of course now that I typed this out she hasn't coughed at all tonight. I'll just keep typing if that's what it takes, I guess.

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    2. For croup you need Ipecac! (Sorry, I know croup is a real doozy, but all I know about medicine I learned from Anne of Green Gables, so Minnie May has croup!)

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    3. For croup and coughs try rubbing vicks on the soles of the childs feet (I read about that on a natural health site)

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    4. Hahaha Gesci- I always think of Anne when I hear of croup! Glad to know I'm not alone :)

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  3. I second the bitch on the bottom of feet when you have a cough. Works like a charm! Hope Julia feels better soon!

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  4. Miriam wore those exact socks today :)
    We battled pneumonia (Joseph) and bronchitis (Miriam and Gianna) with the kids last week. Not fun. Hope you all stay well!

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  5. My mom used to put bitch on the bottom of my feet and it always always always worked. Also I can never say Vicks and not giggle ever again...

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  6. My two year old son loves those little carts. He talks about them everytime we arrive at a store. I don't think I thought it all the way through the one time I let him use one.

    Hope Julia feels better soon!

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  7. I want that ABC shirt Julia has. For my kids, but also for me. They make it in school teacher size, yes?

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  8. I detest car carts! Obviously not invented by a parent.

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  9. "I never claimed that cleaning was my charism." Grace, you slay me. Here's hoping that Julia quits hacking, you all get some precious sleep, and not a one of you gets sick(er).

    Those carts? the worst. You're nicer than me if you go for the race car ones... I never even do that, even though Joe will - I never claimed that I was the fun parent.

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  10. Seriously, the children's carts are wonderful in theory and reaaalllllyyy sweet to teach my daughter how to act like a mini-adult. But let's get real, they're so incredibly pointless. Unless I like to apologize to every single person my daughter attacks with it :-/

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    1. Yeah, my daughter only gets to use those on the condition that they are the kind with the large pole attached that I can subtly steer for her. But mostly we just never shop at stores that have them, so problem avoided. Also, I do enjoy shopping at the store that has a kid play land area with free babysitting. Before I had kids, I never thought I would send my kids to those while we shopped. Now I'm counting the days until my son turns 2 so he can join his big sister in Playland. What happened to me?!

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    2. We actually like the carts in our house...for the irony of having him push it filled with toddler selected wine.

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  11. So I know people without kids shouldn't dish out advice, BUT Emily from www.theandersoncrewblog.com which you probably already read, has 6 kids, SIX, haha and she has done a whole bunch of stuff on using natural oils for her kids, especially for niggly little coughs.. My mom used a couple on us as kids and well they cleared my planter warts so they must work atleast a little (and my mom isn't usually much for hippy style home remedies but you know whats the harm in trying)..

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    1. thanks Carey!!! I've been wanting to look into the oil situation (although I can't do the oregano .... my mom uses that sometimes and the whole house smells like spaghetti .... AHHHHH)

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  12. Nothing feels as motherly to me as rubbing some bitch on a sick child's feet.

    Hang in there, Super Mom!

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  13. Hi I live in sydney so we are boiling while you are freezing but for my 4 kids when they have coughs I put a steam vaporiser on in their room with eucalyptus in it. Works a treat along with bitch on feet;)

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  14. I'm sure 35 people have/will mention this, but do you guys have drive-through pharmacies in your area? Saved my bacon on many occasion, I tell you. And, I've been known to pull up to one at least once and say, "I've got six kids in the back and one has terrible constipation and I'm not bringing him in. Can you suggest something for me? And I need a box of kleenex." I'm sure they love me.

    Always keep some bitch in the house. That stuff is awesome.

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  15. I never knew I wanted to put all my children on a leash, until I had said children. Runners, all of them.

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  16. ok now, I will never ever look at a jar of vicks the same again ;D I thought the time J pronounced Bashers name as Bastard was funny but this takes the prize eh!
    sending cyber sympathy from Canada :)

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  17. Vicks Vapor rub is the biggest godsend ever. I still keep a stash in my medicine cabinet, and my people are all old enough for other medicines. But it's the best. I've never tried to foot thing, but I have friends who swear by it. I didn't have runners, but I had a hider. And he was good. That child could disappear in a clothing rack faster than I could blink. He stayed strapped in the stroller until he was 7......!

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  18. I hope she feels lots better soon. And you pharmacy needs a drive-thru. Are there any in your area? Duh, you've probably looked, but I just wanted to throw that out there just in case. I only have one and he won't last a 3 person line anywhere, so we drive-thru anything we can.

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  19. Hilariously TRUE!! The life of a mommy:)
    ~Jennifer
    www.mommylifeafterphd.com

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  20. By the way, I just want you to know your blog is sooo uplifting for me. (I'm pregnant with #3, we'll have 3 under 3 :)
    I love how you still keep your head to see the preciousness and the humor amid all the craziness. I love your blog

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    1. oh, thank you Hannah!!! I'm afraid is a huge downer sometimes but ...... I'm terrible at sugarcoating :) Congrats on #3!!!!

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  21. you crack me up...my youngest might be the busiest toddler ever, also a runner...i try not to take her places...but atlas your right they can't be left home alone..lol

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  22. We love bitch and socked feets around our house. A croupy-cough-saving-grace!! She is a hoot. Hope she feels better fast!

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  23. Vicks is the absolute best. My child threw his worst (to date) tantrum at another child's birthday party. The party was right in the middle of when he would normally nap and he was cutting molars. The following Monday my husband's co-worker who had also been at the party suggested we take the parenting class he teaches on weekends. His toddler is always perfectly behaved. Almost a year later, my fists ball up when I think about that man.

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    1. ha!!! We've totally been given the, "you should read THIS parenting book .... " line but a class???/ I might've used those balled fists :)

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  24. I'm glad we now know what Simon's flaw is, thinking those mini carts are acceptable.

    I had a minor confrontation with a parent in TJ's last week who's child felt the need to continuously slam the mini cart into my legs. The parent did not feel the need to parent.

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  25. Adding my vote to the Vicks on the feet...worked for my then-7 mo, and it was suggested by my aunt who is a pediatric nurse.

    I am starting to dread the oncoming toddler years. ;)

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  26. Oh we totally have a leash. It is bomb.

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  27. Were you the one that told me about bitching a kid's feet for coughs, or someone else? If someone else PLUS you, I guess it's gotta be true. :)

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  28. oh my gosh, Grace Patton, how are you still alive? and with child no less? i think i would have melted just at the thyroid meds. i would have never gotten to the high after that low. and sorry to say i had a laugh at your expense over Julia helping you and your tummy and her wanting her bitch. sorry but hilarious! i pray you got some sleep at some point.

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  29. My 2 year old loves the nights when she is sniffly/coughy enough to warrant Vicks on her feet...I think she loves the smell :) I recently found your blog and I am loving it SO much...and it makes me feel like I have a lot less on my plate than others during my second pregnancy (your children are adorable and I completely admire you and wonder how you do it!)

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