Conversations with Julia

21 May 2013


While driving in the car:
Julia: Bash is a cookie monster, I'm a snuggle bug, and baby Theo is a big ugly giant

While driving in the car again and an Of Monsters and Men song came on:
Julia: Is this Cracklemore?
Grace: No but that's a good guess
Julia: I know

Watching me do her hair in the mirror:
Julia: (sigh) I are SO pretty. 
Grace: 
Julia: I not want piggy tails in my hair
Grace: okay
Julia just want some veggie tails

On one bizarre night that I made a full blown meal and Simon was home:
Grace: Julia, please go upstairs and tell Daddy dinner is ready.
Julia: (not moving) Sime!!!!!! Come get your food.

Simon asked his anti-social hermit wife to ask the neighbor to bring in our trash can while we were out of town so I took Julia with me and knocked on the door:
Grace: I kind of hope they aren't home.
Julia: just don't worry! it will be just okay!

While watching me fold laundry she picked up a pair Simon's boxers:
Julia: Oh, this is where daddy does his potty training?

A frequent exclamation when we pull into the hospital parking lot:
Julia: Wook! Dis is where Daddy lives.

No matter how many times I correct her:
Grace: Have you seen my flip flops?
Julia: hmmm no I not seen your clip clops


Saying goodnight recently ...
Simon: I love you, Julia
Julia: I wove you too, Daddy
Grace: I love you, Julia
Julia: sanks
Grace:

Whenever she wants something I'm eating:
Julia: please!! please!! please!! please!! please!! please!! please!! please!!
Grace: You only need to say please once
Julia: please once

or

Julia: please!! please!! please!! please!! please!! please!! please!! please!!
Grace: You only need to say one please
Julia: one please

Watching me drink soda out of a can
Julia: can I have a sip of your wine?

After witnessing an ambulance speed by with sirens blaring and lights flashing on the interstate:
Julia: Whoa, whats da rush?!

Playing with Simon's work badge:
Julia: is this daddy's bitch?
Grace: um, yes that is his badge
Julia: yeah, his bitch.

and bonus! Bash version ...


Grace: Sebastian, do you want some food?
Sebastian: no!

Grace: Bash, do you want to come read a book?
Sebastian: no!

Grace: Bash, do you love Mommy?
Sebastian: no!

Julia finds Sebastian crying about something senseless: 
Julia: Bash, are you crazy?!
Bash: no.

Randomly:
Julia: (fake laughing) oh, BASH! Are you kidding me?!
Sebastian:
Julia: (still fake laughing) Are you? Are you kidding me, Bash?!
Sebastian:
Julia: (more fake laughing) Bash! Are you KIDDING ME?!
Sebastian: no!
Julia: (done laughing) okay.

62 comments:

  1. Thank God for making kids so cute and funny (sometimes)! Can you imagine the drudgery of motherhood if He didn't send down these little gems to lighten the day?!

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  2. I love these posts. Your kids are the best!

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  3. Laughed so loud I almost woke the sleeping baby! Must be more cautious when reading these during nap time. Loved it.

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  4. Convo with Julia is my fave post topic!! I wove you, Grace..!!

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  5. Ohhhhh I WOVE these posts. They always make me mildly excited to have babies who will say "no!", "please!!", and tell my husband they love him. Sanks for sharing!

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  6. This is great! I love how plentiful the quotes are in this one. I always want these posts to keep going.

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  7. I love these posts!!! "Oh, this is where daddy does his potty training?" Is my favorite, maybe because I'm constantly thinking of potty training...

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  8. haha this is where daddy lives has to be my favorite! Or the clip-clops, my little sister used to always wear plastic dress up heels all day everyday and she called them clonkys and she would flip out if she could not find them. lol

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  9. I'm laughing out loud. thanks Julia! (and bonus Bash)

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  10. oh my goodness her looking in the mirror and sighing at her own beauty is so cute!

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  11. hahahaha yes, i'm glad bash is (sorta) in on it now! :)

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  12. These are seriously my favorite.

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  13. i'm crying from laughing so hard! my kids are laughing too... at ME laughing at the computer screen! great. LOVED THIS!

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  14. I kept scrolling and knew that the end was coming and it made me sad.

    Convos with Julia are THE BEST!

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  15. The verbal wit on this child...

    ...and you get to be nominated for MOTY (Mom Of The Year) for so faithfully transcribing for posterity.

    ...and for making me laugh. Mostly that.

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  16. Thank you. Thank you so much.

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  17. oh my goodness this is the best. your kids are crazy adorbs. can't wait to see what theo has to offer to the group!

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  18. "I love you, Julia" ... "sanks" Ahh hahahahahahaha! Oh, my chest hurts from laughing. My gosh, isn't motherhood just a slap in the face and yet we keep having more! Oh I love the punishment! And my daughter McKenna was like Bash. I would ask that child if she wanted ice cream just to get her to say yes and I'll be danged if she would say no - eyebrow cocked and everything. She totally knew what she was doing; whereas I obviously did not.

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  19. hahahahahahahah , this is the BEST break from revision! I wish I knew your kids in real life.


    x

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  20. As always, so funny! I can never decide if I like convos with Julia or Simon Says better.

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  21. Oh my gosh, those are so cute and hilarious.

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  22. julia so freakin' smart and funny. she is most definitely your daughter.

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  23. Posts like this make me want kids. They say the funniest things!

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  24. This is fantastic--I just laughed aloud sitting in my car, alone, as a series of strangers walked by. I could be ashamed, but my amusement > shame, so that's a win.

    I wish you had a reality show. And that I had cable so I could watch your reality show (because I'm sure it'd be in a fancy network, like Bravo).

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    Replies
    1. *on.

      Thanks, autocorrect and huge fingers!

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  25. Oh, long time no see Conversations with Julia and I love Conversations with Julia!! Must read to my husband tonight, he laughs too :D

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  26. You seriously have the most hilarious, coolest child. Love that personality of hers. Way to go, Grace ;)

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  27. HYSTERICAL!! Love the ones about calling Simon to dinner and his badge. You have some very entertaining kiddos to us readers :)

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  28. Not gonna lie - I was thinking in my head "You let your little ones listen to Cracklemore?!?!?" and then I clicked on the link and realized it was the clean version. I approve!

    I love these all, but I do have one question. How does she lose that purse in the first picture? I mean, it's pretty distinct looking to me :)

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  29. What's the rush made me lol, and I hate typing lol.

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  30. Hahaha...love it! I think you may have a future blogger on your hands. Isn't it good to know that when you're old and senile Julia can carry the torch for you?

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  31. my favorite:
    Julia: Is this Cracklemore?
    Grace: No but that's a good guess
    Julia: I know
    such confidence! make sure she never loses it :)
    when you and the kiddos switch roles, in many many moons, and they are caring for you in a nursing home (or, if they really love you, at home), i can't wait to read julia's "conversations with gwace"

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  32. These are my favorite posts!

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  33. LOVE Bash's personal style! love it. It's a cross between double wide trailer park and an NYC Calvin Klein underwear model. Awesome!

    As for Miss Julia (President in 2060) also has a fabulous fashion sense. Who knew she would choose a Kate Spade knock-off for her purse. I mean what a talent she has. Just like her Mama.

    Thank you for making me laugh today...oh how I needed to laugh. Thanks for your prayers for Miss Courtney. She is a rock-star. God is good all the time.

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  34. Reading your posts always makes me snort unexpectedly. At this point, I really should expect it, but it gets me every time.

    Obviously, Julia gets her sense of humor from her Momma. Duh.


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  35. So cute! Love your Julia's little attitude!

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  36. Love that girl. Very excited that Bash has gotten in on the action too, hehe! :) <3

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  37. would anyone else be interested in a Julia Patton fan club? we could get tshirts and everything.

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  38. *sigh* I never loved a stranger's kids so dang much. Of Monsters and Men is almost as amazing as Cacklemore. That song gets stuck in my head daily. Great post, as always!

    PS - Fingers still crossed for the "I Got Bashed" t-shirts. Just sayin'.

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  39. Oh my gosh , that did me in! Hilarious! Is that daddy's bitch?......I'm in tears!

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  40. I think I might even like these better than the "Simon Says"!! She's so funny!!

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  41. Love.
    When they're older, you're all going to love reading this stuff even more than the rest of us do.
    These posts really make me wish I wrote down what my oldest were saying back at this age. Instead, my blog will record all the cute things of the younger ones, and nothing but the painful memories of adolescence for the older ones...which I can't make cute no matter what. But maybe someday their therapist will thank me.

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  42. I LOVE all of these, especially "I are SO pretty" and "clip clops." She is adorable and so funny! I love reading about your crazy kids. :)

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  43. Favorite blog post of the week! Maybe even month :-)

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  44. LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE <3
    She definitely got her mommy's incredible sense of humor. :)

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  45. She is adorable. The best conversations are with toddlers.

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  46. sanks when you say you love her. julia, playing hard to get.

    these posts are the besssst.

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  47. Oh my gosh I always love these posts - she is absolutely hysterical. If you ever need a sitter in CoMo...let me know. I feel I would learn a lot about myself from her. And Sebastian. obviously.

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  48. These posts are my favorite. Hilarious!

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  49. I loled at clip clops, like honest to goodness.
    And, can I just say I totally commiserated re. the love you / snacks comment. My almost three year old replies to an I love you with "I NO WANNA LUB YOU!!" However, she has plenty of love for her papi. :/

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  50. I love, love, love "conversations with Julia". Thank you.

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  51. One of THE funniest posts ever from you. I think Simon's fears are being confirmed and Simon Says is going to have to step aside for Conversations with Julia.

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  52. Best yet! And I loved the bonus Basher quotes! Makes me feel a little better about Joseph's two word vocabulary "dada" and "buh" (bus)

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  53. I have found myself in tears from laughing so hard at these posts. She tries to act like a little adult; I love it. Keep them coming.

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  54. I have an almost 3 year old as well and he talks wike Julia, it would be interesting to hear them in a convo!

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