they're ALIVE.

01 December 2014

Salutations from the land of the messiest house and an alarming amount of rampant teeny tiny toddler fires that are in perpetual need of a mother extinguisher and never ending + unsolvable cases of missing sippy cups and matching socks but the blog must go on, right? Right. If only for you three remaining readers that clung to the hope that the mother of all sinfully wordy over-sharers would someday return to the glow of your screen of choice with tales of Costco trips and rosy call weekend diatribes ... it must go on. Or let's say it shall go on. Must is a little much and not necessarily true.

Since you're generally accustomed to unsolicited and daily play-by-plays I thought I would ease back into the murky Camp waters-o-fun and give you some brief updates on the cast of characters around here. Let's start with my favorite husband.

Simon still plays the role of favorite favorite FAVORITE parent while still logging too many hours at the hospital and working on research projects and papers at night.


He has some big tests coming up and so he brings his study materials to read in bed which includes a massive book titled, "Vaginal Surgery" complete with anatomy photos of things like the "deep perineum" (it's a thing) and as winter makes her final descent on St. Louis he regularly reports how much warmer the weather in Tampa is at the current moment.

Grace writes entirely too much about herself and will sit out this round. De nada.

Julia has taken to sleeping in as late as she fancies (10:30? 11? it's impressive and does not a jealous mother make ... at all) on the days she doesn't have school and her new favorite food is mustard + peanut butter sandwiches.


She has taken to calling Phoebe, "Feebz" and Sebastian, "Sweetie" which is interesting considering how often she and Sweetie fight to the almost death. She often furrows her brow and asks, "are you okay, Mom?!" which is endearing and odd because I generally flit about the house with a perma-grin and sparkling gladitude.

Sebastian regularly and defiantly declares that any food I make is, "too yuck" which does wonders for my culinary confidence.


He sneaks the majority of his meals onto Theo's plate and I suspect he survives solely on thieved yogurts and string cheese. Despite the frigid temperatures he will only wear glorified Crocs and socks on his feet in public and I've decided to skip that battle that would inevitably turn into war.

Theo is holding strong as resident rooster and wakes up at new and ungodly hours every morning.


He is always happy to show absolutely no remorse. Mother Mole Eyes might toss a string cheese and a sippy of water into his crib to keep him occupied and buy some precious couch sleeping minutes while the sun rises ... or she might not. She'll never tell. He still has a zero word lexicon but is strangely skilled at getting his frantic monosyllabic points across when necessary.

Phoebe has discovered the joys of table food and Phoebe-led weaning. The child has yet to meet a food she does not love and the happiest moments (hours?) of her day are spent in the high chair with anything edible.


She voices loud and visible frustration when she discovers that certain items (my engagement ring, my shirt buttons, the nasty burn blister on my forearm) are inedible. She would like to announce that she's made the exciting decision to grow out her hair to at least chin length ...


... and is fiercely dedicated to the decade long journey.

Is that everyone? It IS. Despite the grocery store mathematician declaring he didn't know how I handled, "six rugrats!!" this morning ... that's everyone!

And we'll be back.
Tomorrow.
And the day after that.
And the day after that.
And the day after - you get it.
Get excited.
I know you are.

91 comments:

  1. We are glad you are back just in time for Advent!

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  2. YES! This makes me so happy. Even as a notmom this is easily my favorite blog. I giggle my way through every post. :)

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  3. Welcome back! You were definitely missed :)

    www.designsbykaty.com

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  4. I missed you but I didn't realize how much until I snorted my way through this post! Hallelujah, she returneth!

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  5. Welcome back! You have the funniest way of putting things. I just love this post. It brings me back (many, many years back), to the era when I spent all day every day extinguishing those perpetual toddler fires of which you speak!

    Should I tell you when you're my age, you'll look back at the craziness with extreme nostalgia? Nah, that can be a tad annoying when you're in the trenches, tearing your hair out!

    And speaking of hair: my oldest son had hair exactly like Pheobe's: just as blond, and just as gravity-defying. I love those pictures of her!

    God bless you and those adorable kids of yours. :)

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    1. Oh, and Julia's "are you okay, mom?" That is so heart-melting! My second-oldest son used to ask me that a lot (even though he was often one of the culprits who'd pushed me to the edge!).

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  6. You're right, I am excited.

    I feel like that sounded sarcastic, but it's really not!

    PB and mustard, Julia? Really?

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  7. Welcome back! We've all been patiently waiting!!!!

    And my 12-year-old still declares everything I make as "too yucky". My 10-year-old however, tells me at the end of every meal how delicious it all was regardless of how much she ate. She's the one in the will....

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  8. Mother mole eyes. The best! This mother of teens is happy you are back.

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  9. Welcome back!!! Those pictures of Pheobe... oh my gosh. She is so stinkin' cute. I just felt a wave of baby fever hit me.

    Now that Phil has been in the final stages of his dissertation, I got a small glimpse into providing 24-hour solo parenting and I honestly don't know how you maintain your sanity when Simon has 24-hour shifts/call weekends/torture.

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  10. So glad you are back! Totally excited. No, really.

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  11. Welcome back!! That first picture of Phoebe is everything. Oh wait, I mean Feebz.

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  12. So glad you are back! Your posts are always a breath of fresh air!

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  13. SOOOOOOO glad you are back! My, "laugh of the day" has suffered mightily since you left. :) Parenting 4 is wonderful, busy, exhausting, exciting and happy....and tiring. Ours are 15, 13, 10 and 9 now and I loved the days that you are in. These days are fun, too. You start to see the fruits of your labor. :) Enjoy, and SOOO happy to see life through your eyes! It DOES get easier!

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  14. My Christmas wish has come true 24 days early!

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  15. Hurray! Y'all are alive. Thanks for making our Monday much better!

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  16. Oh my goodness, I thought you would never come back. I am approaching the doom and gloom that is finals week, and this just made it a tiny bit easier to deal with. Thank you.

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  17. Missed you and your writing. So glad you're back!

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  18. I'm glad your back! Miss all y'all!

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  19. Glad you're back even if I'm speechless over mustard and pb. So fun to see how everyone else does this mothering thing and to know I'm not alone in the trench.

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  20. This provided me the laugh I needed. Those faces crack me up! Love them!

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  21. So glad you're back! I'm in exam-studying mode (which really means blog reading procrastination time) and I love me some funny Grace writing and cute Patton children pictures. :)

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  22. YAY!!! What an entrance! I loved it. I love it all. And I am glad to know that Theo is a man of few words. Avalon refuses to talk, which her pediatrician declared fine since "she seems to get her way". True that!

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  23. Sooo glad you're back! Those pics of "Feebz" are everything! EEK!

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  24. Oh my gosh. PHOEBE. Her face just made my day.

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  25. Missed hearing updates from the Camp! Glad you're back, Grace :)

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  26. YAY YAY you're back! I have missed the tales of the Patton household!

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  27. I, too, am super happy you're back! =]

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  28. Love that you're back! Glad to hear other families stories/struggles and know that we're all in this life thing together and all just as normal/crazy! Your kids are adorable!

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  29. Fantastico way to start of my anticipated grueling Advent! Ray of sunshine in my gross grey skyed, drool covered, not seasonally appropriately decorated, nor seasonally appropriately dressed world. Missed you and the Camp crew.

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  30. Glad you're back. The photos of Phoebe are so adorable. I can't believe that she's sitting up already :)

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  31. Hooray! I'm so glad you're back!

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  32. Everyone looks so cute and sweet and happy and squishy! Glad to see you back :o)

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  33. So happy you're back and the fam is grand and thriving!!

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  34. I'm soooooo happy you're back!!

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  35. That Sebastian cracks me up - he is a character. I don't know how you keep up with his (mess)adventures!
    Welcome back. That didn't seem too long you were gone.
    S.

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  36. I'm excited!!!! Soooooooo happy you're back

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  37. Excited! And, loved the updates! Your humor makes me happy! And, Phoebe's hair! Love it! They're all adorable!

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  38. Happy to hear I'm not the only mum contending with sons' yuck votes over my slaved over cooking. Welcome back and hats off to you and Simon.

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  39. Welcome back!! Oh how I have missed you!!

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  40. Bahahahaha mother mole eyes, I will be laughing about that all day.

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  41. Yay! So happy you're back. Missed your sense of humour and those adorable kiddos! Hope the break was restful for you!

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  42. Yay!! I am so glad you are back!! It was dismal without you! Love the photos of pheobie!

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  43. I used to ask my kids when they insulted my cooking how they would feel if I said something like that about something they made for me. It worked with my older kids. My younger ones... could care less! lol

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  44. Oh how I have missed the Camp....it's like Christmas came early and I am sure glad it did! That pic of "Feebz" is too much cuteness and those other darlings are just as cute as ever too!

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  45. thank God you're back. I've missed the munchkins so much. That Theo just slays me with his cuteness.

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  46. YAY. YAY. YAY. YAY. YAY. YAY. One of each of you!

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  47. Glad to hear from you. I really do hope all is well with you and yours. Hang in there.

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  48. Welcome back! We missed you. As adorable as the instagram photos are, there's nothing like a more in-depth update. :-) Happy belated Thanksgiving!

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  49. I'm so happy you're back! Just getting an Instagram fix of you and your adorable family just wasn't enough! And I must say, I absolutely love your writing style!

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  50. Please don't blog break again. That was not fun.

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    1. Send me a sitter and some house cleaning fairies and I wont :)

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  51. Welcome back! I missed hearing about your adventures :) I always think if you can handle 4, then I should stop complaining about my 2!

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  52. So glad you are back! But totally understand when you need to take a break. Thank you for returning! We've missed you out here! :)

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  53. yay glad you're back and glad you took a break! i am also on a decade long journey to grow my curly hair that grows about .5 inch a year so i will support feebz on this!

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  54. So happy to see an update! I really, really miss your writing about all things Patton. Don't feel pressure to write, but you are such a natural, just update your loyal followers when you get the itch.

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  55. so very happy you are back. you were terribly missed. <3

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  56. Welcome back, lovely lady! You've been missed. xxx

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  57. Welcome back! You may recognize me as the weird mom who randomly comments on posts past, or you may not. Either way I have loved catching up on your old posts and now seeing new posts of yours. Your kids, as you already know, are darling.

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  58. You're baaaaaaack! Yay. :)

    The "six rugrats" comment made me picture you in the checkout line with a cloud around your feet with various children periodically popping out of it, cartoon-style (did that make ANY sense?) to indicate frenetic activity. I'm sure it often feels like that.

    Excited to read about the crew again, and I hope your break was restful and rejuvenating!

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  59. yay you're back. day and night and week and month made. that is all.

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  60. I'm definitely not one of those 3 people that clicked on your site at least once a day to see if you were back... nope, definitely not. You can't prove anything!

    (P.S. Glad you're back!)

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  61. Phew! So glad you are back. And I was one of the MANY people who kept checking back to see if you had returned. I am not ashamed of that. I am, however, ashamed of all the chips I ate for dinner last night.

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  62. Yay! You are back. I've missed you. :)

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  63. theo's look of concern over thomas. phoebe's look of absolute glee in the highchair.

    i am dead. never leave again!

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  64. So happy you're back. I used your "intermission" to take a slight break from reading blogs/checking facebook constantly (it was a good reminder to not get too dependent on the internet) and pay more attention to my kids and make an attempt at cleaning the house.... but I am so happy you're back to blogging. I like reading about how similar our lives are with little ones (although yours is definitely crazier since you have 4 kids instead of 3). PS I love Phoebe's fuzzy ducky hair. She looks so chubby and happy all the time!

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